Why is my guy friend acting so moody?

[Anonymous]

I have been friends with a guy I work closely with for a year. At some point in the year I realized that I liked him as more than a friend but tried not to show it as I didn't want to ruin our friendship. I started to think that he felt the same as he started to lean against me and touch me with any excuse - he is very shy and doesn't normally behave like that. He also seemed to be jealous and moody when I spoke to other guys. Our friendship really peaked and we were hanging around together almost all of the time. We going out one night and I decided to say something. Towards the end of the night he seemed scared that something might happen between us and really kept his distance. I was confused by this and just came out with it all. He was really spooked and said that he had never liked me that way. Then at the end he told me he was seeing someone else but didn't know whether to tell me that or not. I found out that this was true and he had been with someone for a month but hadn't told me before. I decided to put this down to experience though of course I was upset. He seems happy and I am pleased for him.

However, now our friendship has become very weird. Whenever we start getting on as we always did in old times he suddenly becomes moody and distant. I never push this - he seems to really want to go back to being friends and as soon as we start having a laugh or whatever he suddenly changes. This is really upsetting me as I feel I have lost a friend. Why is he behaving like this?

[wilbur12]

This is what happens when someone comes out of the closet and admits their feelings to a friend who doesn't feel the same way. Instead of looking at you as his bff, now, he knows, no matter what you say to him, that you like him. This is something you have to be careful with because you run the risk of losing a friendship when you do that. With time, things will patch up and become normal but it may take a long time. Best thing to do is to continue to be kool with him, don't bring it up anymore, and find a boyfriend. When you find a boyfriend, he will see that you are now with someone else and he won't feel that you may be after him anymore. Then eventually he will forget about it.

Its not causing too much harm but never come out and tell someone you like them unless you are sure they do first. I've been in this situation many times in my past and ended up screwing up good friends. I've also had this done to me...see when you are kool with someone and begin to get close to them, you tend to grow feelings for that person. Never let anyone tell you that guys and girls can be just friends...untrue. Whether its the guy or the girl, someone will fancy the other...always. unless he's gay. The longer you go as friends and the closer you get, the more you trust, appreciate and care for the other person...this often leads to sex/relationships.

[dan87]

i behaved in a similar way with a girl I liked, because I found it so hard to be around her because I had feelings for her I couldn't help but be moody and down and almost angry every time I was around the girl I liked, but that was because she didn't feel the same, this situation is different because you do like him but maybe he is feeling the same emotions I did because he can't have you but his case is because he has a girl friend already, think that made sense you get it?

[Prof_Don]

Imo the guy seems very conflicted with his feelings. He probably liked you for awhile too, and he started acting distant once he started seeing that other girl because he wants to stay faithful to the other girl, but he likes you too...

...

...

...and he may not trust himself around you (as in temptation to "cheat"), and that's why he's acting distant.

Him being close to you like you were before, may tempt him to pin you down on the couch and passionately kiss you, so he's "holding back".

[PoeticNinja]

He's moody because he's a drama queen taking you on an emotional roller coaster ride.