Responding to dumper always mean validation?

[Anonymous]

My ex broke up with me assuming I'd stick around as a friend, but I literally disappeared from her life. I've ignored multiple texts/drunk calls over the 3 months we've been broken up. She's initiated 3/4 of contact and I haven't done anything resembling desperate. I know everyone says responding to ex gives them validation, but I've been out doing my own thing and literally taking days to respond in the instances when I do, always keeping it short, civil and vague. Lately she's initiated then ignored my responses. see this is where I don't see how she's getting validation, I'm treating her the way I treat girls I friend zone, so I just don't see it. None of my responses give any hint or semblance of being interested. I can't say I'm not curious about her but I have self control and a few other options..but I get more a vibe that she's trying to get back at me for being aloof.

[Surfinforlife]

I know where you're coming from. I think that letting her know in a gentlemanly like way that you've moved on and would appreciate her not contacting you, would be a good idea. Keep it short and sweet. You don't want her to be a burden on your life anymore, if she is at all. Next time she texts or calls you just let her know your stance on this and that it's time to part ways.

Say something like, "Look, you broke up with me and that's fine. I've moved on but to me it seems like you haven't. When you break up, you move on to what's next in life, not linger around. I think it would be best if we don't talk. Nothing personal, Just need to keep things appropriate and myself focused. I hope you can understand." Something along the lines of that. Just be mature about it and she should respect that. She may get mad though, so brace yourself... if she continues to contact you after this, then just don't respond. She should get the message. Just close the deal man

[Asker]

ya man I think I'm past this point. Told her we should move on and cut off contact about a month ago. Come to think of it that's when the initiate ignore cycle started from her..

[UwantME]

If you dumped her then what you did is right. Otherwise, you will feel like you want her again which wouldn't work out.

Its the same if she dumped you. So, when you brake up with someone you should always cut contacts mean off with that person right away.

[Anonymous]

My ex initiated the contact and so I repsponded then we kept in touch for a while. All of a sudden, he just disappeared and later on I found out that he's been getting back with his ex so I decided to cut him out of my life for good for my own peace of mind cos it's not worth it!

[Anonymous]

You should just keep ignoring her for the rest of your life. It's not worth it.

[Bunny212]

She is just let her know where she stands

[Asker]

huh?

[Bunny212]

did not realize I left out a word. she is just trying to keep you in her back pocket in case her new found freedom doesn't work out and she wants to date again or needs sex. You should tell her where she stands with you. Seems like you are moving on

[Asker]

does she really think I'm in her back pocket lol?..also I already told her it'd be better to move on a few months ago

[Bunny212]

LOl yeaa I did that in the past. The guys always moved on and hate me.It is good you did not lead her on, now reassure her. Don't allow her to use you

[Asker]

no I think its funny, I'm doing that too when I respond. Just in case in the future haha

[Bunny212]

LOl all the best just don't get attached