Did he ever have feelings for me at all?

[lyssalady13]

This guy and I were roommates an after about 6 months we started hooking up. We all moved out of our place and he and I kept saying we'd just be friends but then would hook up again. This went on for a year. Every time we'd hang out we'd spend hours talking about feelings and then hook up. He got to a point where he said he was over casual sex but not looking for a relationship either but still wanted me in his life. Regardless, we still kept hooking up and then fighting and stopping. It got to a point where it was really bad and volatile and needed to end. We both decided that we needed space and both needed to try equally as hard to be just friends in order to keep each other in our lives and ever since we've been distant because we definitely need space. I saw him at a party the other night and he shook my hand. Then other dudes were hitting on me and it seemed to bother him. He like stood in front of me and stretched, exposing his abs ha ha then when the guy and I went outside, my other guy friend told me that he was trying to find someone to go outside with him and kept staring at us through the screen. Do you think he had actual romantic feelings for me or was I just some girl to bang?

Updates

+1 y

In response to what the girls said, I appreciate it. I know it seems like a no-brainier but it wasn't as obvious when it was happening. I wasn't even attracted to him when we met which was when I first moved in. I tried to hook him up with a friend even and he and I were really close. He knew he wasn't my type and watched me go on dates and stuff and even gave me guy advice. One night when were living together he got really drunk and hit on me and I just pretended it never happened.

Updates

+1 y

Then after we all moved out, I got really drunk and made a move. I had recently gotten out of a 2 year relationship and he had just gotten into Berkeley after being in the marines for 6 yrs, he lived an hour away and neither of us wanted a relationship. So that's why I did it. It was what I was looking for at the time but it just kept getting more and more complicated and it was like we couldn't JUST hookup without having some long conversation about it and about feelings. We were really intense,

Updates

+1 y

even he admitted to that. I think I was in denial about how I felt about him until now and that's why I asked this question. I spent a year pretending I didn't want more because I was afraid and now I wanted to know if he ever felt anything more than just the urge to hookup. Especially since it wasn't even convenient nor was it easy.

[cheeky_starfish]

If the guy didn't think much of you other than 'just some girl to bang' as you put it, then I doubt he would have become so seemingly jealous when other guys were hitting on you, or want to 'keep his eye on you' while you were outside with some other guy. It sounds quite a confused situation given that on one hand he claims to be 'over casual sex' with you and just wants to remain friends, whereas on the other hand he's acting in this seemingly jealous and needy way.

It almost sounds like the scenario you often get with children where they don't want something until someone else does, almost like he doesn't want a relationship with you, but doesn't want you to have a relationship with anyone else... It's all very confusing! lol He may simply be confused about his feelings, or have enough feelings to care for you, but not enough to actually want to date you. On the other hand, he may have those romantic feelings, but not know how to act on them.

I think the only way that you're going to know for sure is to talk to him and ask him what is going on when he acts this way. I hope that helps you somewhat! :o)

[lyssalady13]

Thank you so much for your answer! I think it's probably that he likes me but not enough to date me. There's also a lot of other stuff going on like his sister was my friend and got upset about stuff and he transferred to a four year and moved an hour away and is planning on moving to the other side of the country in a year. He also has a lottttt of intimacy and family issues that I'm well aware of. I get the feeling that he wants a relationship with someone doesn't know any of that

[lyssalady13]

and who only knows him as the smart hot marine at Berkeley and nothing else. I just wanna know that he cares and that I'm not the only bummed that things are hard now

[cheeky_starfish]

You're most welcome! :o) Yeah, it does sound like he does like you and cares for you, but that maybe he's so unsure about his own feelings and has so much going on in his life at the moment that he's not looking for a relationship or anything serious like that. Well I'm pretty sure from what you've said that he does care for you, but if there's anything specific that you want to know, then you could always ask him... Before it's too late! I'm sure that he cares though... :o)

[SunshineLelek]

: / it's hard to say. Personally and based on observing others' experiences, it's best not to just be a girl a guy hooks up with because 9/10 times, he won't view you as girlfriend material. I don't mean to be hurtful, but I'm just being honest based on what I have observed. I mean, think about it girl; 6 months is half a year. At a two month mark IF THAT, you two should have been official. If you are telling him with your actions that you are okay with being hook up material and nothing more than why would he consider you as anything more? You're a beautiful girl, I don't know why you would settle for such an unsatisfying situation.

No offense sweetie, but I don't think he really had romantic feelings because if he did, he would have made things official and exclusive way before a year of hooking up.

[SparklingFirefly]

It doesn't sound like he really had feelings for you. He may have liked you as a friend with benefits but if he wanted a relationship, he would have pursued one. As humans when we get involved with someone sexually it will kind of make you protective or feel like that's your property. So I think he more just felt like you were his sexual property and didn't want another man to come along and out do him. He wants to keep you on the hook, but he can't do that if other guys succeed at getting your attention.

[Anonymous]

if all you did was hook up then no, not real feelings. within that time, he could have formally asked you out and tried to be your boyfriend, not kept you around as a fwb. his ego is what made him get upset when other men hit on you. he didn't want other men coming near his sex supply. look at his actions. he had sex with you for how long but didn't step it up and try to be your man? the opportunity was there but he just didn't want to

[SparklingFirefly]

Aw well it's nice to see you acknowledge your feelings in the update! Everything will turn out as it should and honestly I think it's best if you just move on to another guy and have a real relationship that's not complicated as hell. It sounds like you have no shortage of guys hitting on ya, so you'll find something to cleanse your palette of him soon!

[Anonymous]

He's childish. Not wanting to be with you but then getting jealous?! You can't win with him and it's such a volatile situation I'd just move on if I were you.

[kangaru]

Yes I believe he is jealous and this also means he has some feelings for you

[kangaru]

But move on

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Just some girl to bang.

[CaptainJackH]

second

[Clinkz]

third

[SaltandVinegar]

fourth