Questions: Family & Friends

Are you the type to like to people please?

Here are some signs that you might be a people pleaser if you aren't sure:

Agreeing with whoever is in front of you. Many of us learn how to politely listen to others as part of our social skills. That can veer into people-pleasing behavior if you constantly agree with people because you want to earn their admiration and not because you believe what you’re saying.

Apologizing for things that aren’t your fault. People pleasers often make themselves responsible for the emotional responses of others. If someone feels bad, you may blame yourself or fear that person thinks you’re the problem. It’s good to say you’re sorry if you’ve hurt someone, but there may be a deeper issue if you’re frequently apologizing for things you have no control over.

Not being able to say no. If you find it difficult to tell others no when they ask you for something, you may be a people pleaser. Many people pleasers prefer making up excuses later to get out of a commitment instead of saying no from the start. If you do follow through, you can regret not having the strength to stand up for yourself.

Changing your personality depending on who’s around you. People pleasers tend to shift their behavior and attitude to match that of the person or group. That can lead to you acting in ways that are out of character or participating in actions you disagree with just to fit in socially. People pleasers tend to do anything possible to avoid conflict, even if it means turning into an entirely different person.

Your worth depends on how others see you. People pleasers need validation from others to feel good about themselves. They can go to extremes to earn words of praise from others. The confidence of a people pleaser rises and falls based on how others perceive them.

Does any of this resonate with you? feels like things you do?