4 Beauty Standards I Flatly Reject

I know I am unattractive. I don't even try to be attractive. I don't aspire to be ugly either. Ugly means hideousness and attracts negative attention. Attractive attracts positive attention. Being plain and boring attracts no attention, and that is the look that I strive for.

1. Long Eyelashes

Most women I know want long, thick eyelashes. They use mascara, eyeliner, and fake eyelashes to give the appearance of long, thick eyelashes.

My eyelashes, on the other hand, are hidden partially by the eyelids. Sometimes, my eyelids will fold inward, giving a monolid look. Sometimes, my eyelids will fold outward, giving a double eyelid look. My mother's eyelids consistently fold outward, so she mostly has that double eyelid look. My father's eyelids consistently fold inward, so he mostly has that single eyelid look. Many non-East Asians assume that East Asians have the defining, exotic monolid look. Wrong.

In fact, the double eyelid does appear naturally in the East Asian population, and I have read speculations that it occurs more frequently in the Southern Chinese and Japanese population than in the Northern Chinese population and Korean population. I have also read that Southern Chinese people tend to have bigger and rounder eyes, with or without the double eyelid. Personally, I think that explains why eyes are big and round, so when I smile, my eyes don't produce the slits like some Asian people do. When my eyelids fold outward, my eyelashes get more exposure. When my eyelids fold inward, my eyelashes only get half-exposure.

I don't use mascara, eyeliner, or fake eyelashes. First of all, those items are not cheap. Second of all, if I do have the money to buy them, I believe that they are a waste of money, because I won't be using them everyday. Third of all, it's too much of a hassle to wear these things every day, because every night I would have rub them off, or my real eyelashes will fall off. If I were to buy those items, then I would have to factor in the cost of buying good-quality make-up remover too.

Men never put on mascara, and typically the men I know have visible eyelashes. Some people have naturally long eyelashes; some people don't.

2. Lean vs. Muscular

Most women I know want a lean/skinny/thin body. They don't care about the muscle; they just don't want the fat and extra weight. So, they eat at a calorie-deficit to lose the weight in fat, muscle, and water until they become skinny fat. When skinny fat, people appear skinny (hence attractive), but they may have a lot of fat accumulated around the visceral organs and may have weak muscles.

I want muscle. The more, the better. I have read that resistance-training, with a carefully designed diet, can optimize muscle building. I don't have access to a gym, so I try to make the best of what I do have. At home, I make sure I eat something heavy in protein, preferably whole food. This may mean oatmeal (1/4 cup oatmeal and 2 cups water to get the desired consistency) with some chicken drumsticks, tofu, beans, and nuts. Then, I make a trip on my bicycle to the library or store. Making a trip there means I have to come across several hills. Going up-slope is a form of resistance-training, and over time, I notice that my muscles become sore and then stronger.

Thanks to resistance-training, I can now go up and down the staircase steadily and quickly and tirelessly without the handrail. At home, I have two different dumbbells. One is lighter than the other. With the dumbbells and body-weight exercises, I may be able to build some muscle. As long as my body composition is increasing in muscle mass, I am satisfied. In order to build muscle, I have to consume at a calorie surplus that is heavy in protein. I want to have as much muscle as possible in my 20s, so that the higher muscle composition will pay off in my 30s or older.

3. Big Breasts, Big Hips

Some women have fat in "all the right places". This usually means that they have fat in the breasts and thighs, creating a voluptuous and curvy figure.

When I have an excessive amount of fat, the fat accumulates in the abdomen and is evenly distributed on my legs. When I lose the fat, I just have a slim figure, similar to Yi's figure from Off the Great Wall.

Historically in Western culture, women in Michelangelo's paintings were portrayed with big muscles. Though, I read that having big muscles was a product of female modesty, male painters, and the use of male models.

These women are not petite or thin. They are big and muscular.

4. Tanned Skin

In America, women really like having their skin tanned at the beach or in a tanning salon.

In East Asia, women prefer to have pale skin. I think that is an age-old preference and may be associated with the affluent class. Wealthy people stay indoors more often. Historically in European countries, people put white powders on their faces, because light skin was considered attractive and associated with social status.

Personally, my own skin care equipment involves sunscreen, sunglasses or photochromic lenses, modest clothing, umbrella, face towel, clean drinking water, and hydrating water-laden food products (mostly fruits and vegetables and meats). I don't have acne or breaking skin. I can't find any dark circles underneath my eyes. My skin tone has a light orange-y tan. My lips and nails are very pink. I owe my appearance to the reduction of consuming junky foods and better absorption of the nutrients in healthy foods.

Beauty vs. Health

Many people assume that beauty is heavily dependent on health. Although good health does influence one's physical appearance, beauty is also dependent on social class/status, geographical location, genes, and the influence of businesses trying to sell products (such as hair remover). Because beauty is so subjective and narrow, I believe that everybody should strive for optimal health, which may or may not fit in with a person's ideal beauty standards. The important take-home message in this myTake is to love and accept yourself as you are.

If you love and accept yourself as you are, then you will be a happy and confident person. There will always be people who will find you ugly no matter what you do or expect that you conform to their unattainable, unrealistic beauty ideals. I'd highly recommend shutting those people out of your life and looking for a supportive environment among new people who will love you for you and are willing to help you grow strong physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, and spiritually.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Very good Take, I also reject some of the "beauty standards", or ""fashion trends".
    1. I never liked fake eyelashes.
    2. Lean is ok, but I prefer toned, although, not overly muscular.
    3. Big breasts and hips are irrelevant in my opinion, I don't fall for fat distribution.
    4. Tanned skin is nice, but not obligatory.
    5. Indeed, beauty standards are different, they depend on various cultures and traditions.


Most Helpful Girl

  • This was interesting to read, I'm Puerto Rican and Jamaican and it was very interesting to see what we both value and what differs and what's the same. I'll address your points and provide my view as well.

    1. I do think long lashes are feminine but I have a decent length in lashes already and don't do anything to change them. Makeup is very bad for you, I don't wear any of it and because of this I remain naturally beautiful.

    2. I would like to be toned more than muscular. I think toned muscles are more feminine and attractive personally rather than big bulky muscles.

    3. I naturally have large breasts, I'm a 32DD so there's no changing that. Being half Latina and have black I will say we definitely value curves. All body types can be curvy and sexy, you just have to know what's right for you. For me, I've got the boobs covered naturally, so it's the butt I have to watch for. But overall I have an hourglass figure and that is what I believe to be the most desired.

    4. I like golden brown skin so much. It's so beautiful and so healthy looking. That
    is the skin I naturally have, and really all I do is strive to maintain my skin tone. I try not to get darker, and I don't try to get lighter. I think my skin so is beautiful. It glows and looks like I've been painted with the suns's rays.

    5. Being healthy definitely does effect your natural beauty that always exists. My diet could use some improvement but overall I believe health should always be your top priority when it comes to the life you're living.


Join the discussion

What Guys Said 9

  • A lot of guys are shallow to this beauty standard. That's why when a guy finds you attractive, it will be for your personality over looks. This is a great way to filter out players.

  • You're a basic bitch.

  • Lots of good points there - It is refreshing to see someone steer their own course on what they want and how they achieve it.

  • Great Take! While I as a guy like women with pretty eyes, that are lean and have big hips, I also adore pale of fair skin. I find women with huge muscles unattractive and believe it's actually unhealthy. I appreciate a woman that wants to take care of herself and be healthy for the years ahead :)

    • I am replying to your comment about women with huge muscles being "unattractive" and "unhealthy". In fact, athletic and muscular women are more healthy than lean women, because lean women still have visceral fat surrounding the vital organs. Heidi Somers, a YouTube fitness woman, has abs. Having abs is actually better than having a slender body without abs.

    • Show All
    • You are going on the offensive. Yes I did read your Take closely and I gave my opinion. I never said you favored anything whatsoever! I more than understand that we are all built differently. Do you think I stared at a wall for 37 years? I gave you great credit for your take and you focused on one part. I'm going to go converse with other users that can take a well rounded response with a grain of salt..

    • Fair enough. I misinterpreted your comment.

  • I mean, you are always free to do what you want. I just hope you don't for a second expect men/women to be attracted to these choices.

  • i think the best beauty standards are those that show signs of good health.

  • well accept you're ugly and move on.

  • rules for women:

    1. dont be fat
    2. See rule 1
    3. see rule 1

  • You dont get to reject beauty standards hon. They are not there for you to decide whether they're acceptable. They are there for a reason.

    • Beauty standards aren't the same all over the world honey. They change according to the culture.

What Girls Said 6

  • 1. Long eyelashes are nice on others and meh on some
    2. I find muscular bodies on women ugly unless they have curves to balance it out otherwise they look like a rectangle. I don't want to look like a man.
    3. Kim Kardashians body is to die for. She has the classic feminine body. Timeless hourglass figure with curves.
    4. I have naturally tan skin because I'm Native American and that makes me gorgeous.

  • Whatever makes you happy dude. If your happy then I'm happy for you. It's good to have your own standards rather than conform to society's. You sound like a cool cat man, I dig it.

  • I don't ever wear make up. I just naturally have long thick lashes. I have naturally big breast and hips. My waist has always been tiny though. I don't really care about what other people have to say about my looks. I am perfectly comfortable with my body. I'm so perfect! :D

    • It's great that you feel comfortable with your body. If your profile picture is really your face, then I think you look kind of cute and childish. Your face seems to have chubbier cheeks than I do.

    • my face always look chubby when i smile for whatever reason. how old do i look to u?

    • Teenager/Young Adult. You look your age.

  • I fit more the standard of beauty of Asian country than my own but never someone tell me I was ugly. I don't think we care that much about standard of beauty in my country. We care more about fashion stuff

  • I actually love the trend of fat in all the right places since i've got an hourglass body, guess some people reject what they don't have as a whole and some just strive for it, why can't we just be happy with who we're without rejecting anyone else?

  • 8Good post