I know I am unattractive. I don't even try to be attractive. I don't aspire to be ugly either. Ugly means hideousness and attracts negative attention. Attractive attracts positive attention. Being plain and boring attracts no attention, and that is the look that I strive for.
1. Long Eyelashes
Most women I know want long, thick eyelashes. They use mascara, eyeliner, and fake eyelashes to give the appearance of long, thick eyelashes.
My eyelashes, on the other hand, are hidden partially by the eyelids. Sometimes, my eyelids will fold inward, giving a monolid look. Sometimes, my eyelids will fold outward, giving a double eyelid look. My mother's eyelids consistently fold outward, so she mostly has that double eyelid look. My father's eyelids consistently fold inward, so he mostly has that single eyelid look. Many non-East Asians assume that East Asians have the defining, exotic monolid look. Wrong.
In fact, the double eyelid does appear naturally in the East Asian population, and I have read speculations that it occurs more frequently in the Southern Chinese and Japanese population than in the Northern Chinese population and Korean population. I have also read that Southern Chinese people tend to have bigger and rounder eyes, with or without the double eyelid. Personally, I think that explains why eyes are big and round, so when I smile, my eyes don't produce the slits like some Asian people do. When my eyelids fold outward, my eyelashes get more exposure. When my eyelids fold inward, my eyelashes only get half-exposure.
I don't use mascara, eyeliner, or fake eyelashes. First of all, those items are not cheap. Second of all, if I do have the money to buy them, I believe that they are a waste of money, because I won't be using them everyday. Third of all, it's too much of a hassle to wear these things every day, because every night I would have rub them off, or my real eyelashes will fall off. If I were to buy those items, then I would have to factor in the cost of buying good-quality make-up remover too.
Men never put on mascara, and typically the men I know have visible eyelashes. Some people have naturally long eyelashes; some people don't.
2. Lean vs. Muscular
Most women I know want a lean/skinny/thin body. They don't care about the muscle; they just don't want the fat and extra weight. So, they eat at a calorie-deficit to lose the weight in fat, muscle, and water until they become skinny fat. When skinny fat, people appear skinny (hence attractive), but they may have a lot of fat accumulated around the visceral organs and may have weak muscles.
I want muscle. The more, the better. I have read that resistance-training, with a carefully designed diet, can optimize muscle building. I don't have access to a gym, so I try to make the best of what I do have. At home, I make sure I eat something heavy in protein, preferably whole food. This may mean oatmeal (1/4 cup oatmeal and 2 cups water to get the desired consistency) with some chicken drumsticks, tofu, beans, and nuts. Then, I make a trip on my bicycle to the library or store. Making a trip there means I have to come across several hills. Going up-slope is a form of resistance-training, and over time, I notice that my muscles become sore and then stronger.
Thanks to resistance-training, I can now go up and down the staircase steadily and quickly and tirelessly without the handrail. At home, I have two different dumbbells. One is lighter than the other. With the dumbbells and body-weight exercises, I may be able to build some muscle. As long as my body composition is increasing in muscle mass, I am satisfied. In order to build muscle, I have to consume at a calorie surplus that is heavy in protein. I want to have as much muscle as possible in my 20s, so that the higher muscle composition will pay off in my 30s or older.
3. Big Breasts, Big Hips
Some women have fat in "all the right places". This usually means that they have fat in the breasts and thighs, creating a voluptuous and curvy figure.
When I have an excessive amount of fat, the fat accumulates in the abdomen and is evenly distributed on my legs. When I lose the fat, I just have a slim figure, similar to Yi's figure from Off the Great Wall.
Historically in Western culture, women in Michelangelo's paintings were portrayed with big muscles. Though, I read that having big muscles was a product of female modesty, male painters, and the use of male models.
These women are not petite or thin. They are big and muscular.
4. Tanned Skin
In America, women really like having their skin tanned at the beach or in a tanning salon.
In East Asia, women prefer to have pale skin. I think that is an age-old preference and may be associated with the affluent class. Wealthy people stay indoors more often. Historically in European countries, people put white powders on their faces, because light skin was considered attractive and associated with social status.
Personally, my own skin care equipment involves sunscreen, sunglasses or photochromic lenses, modest clothing, umbrella, face towel, clean drinking water, and hydrating water-laden food products (mostly fruits and vegetables and meats). I don't have acne or breaking skin. I can't find any dark circles underneath my eyes. My skin tone has a light orange-y tan. My lips and nails are very pink. I owe my appearance to the reduction of consuming junky foods and better absorption of the nutrients in healthy foods.
Beauty vs. Health
Many people assume that beauty is heavily dependent on health. Although good health does influence one's physical appearance, beauty is also dependent on social class/status, geographical location, genes, and the influence of businesses trying to sell products (such as hair remover). Because beauty is so subjective and narrow, I believe that everybody should strive for optimal health, which may or may not fit in with a person's ideal beauty standards. The important take-home message in this myTake is to love and accept yourself as you are.
If you love and accept yourself as you are, then you will be a happy and confident person. There will always be people who will find you ugly no matter what you do or expect that you conform to their unattainable, unrealistic beauty ideals. I'd highly recommend shutting those people out of your life and looking for a supportive environment among new people who will love you for you and are willing to help you grow strong physically, emotionally, mentally, socially, and spiritually.