Why I Hate Being A Woman

[Anonymous]

1. I look nothing like other women

I'm a 177cm giant. I have a deeper voice. Bigger feet. Stronger features.

I do not consider myself a real woman at all. I doubt other people do too.

2. I'm not cute/powerless/submissive

I'm none of those things. I'm intimidating/disgusting/masculine/scary.

3. I work with guys who favour feminine women

I'm very masculine as I've stated. It's a struggle. They will help and talk to and befriend only real women. I'm an ugly and masculine woman. No man will ever wanna be around a woman like that , or he could just go be with his male friends.

4. I'm unattractive

One of the worst things a woman can be . Everything for us is about looks. I hate how ugly I am and how it's so hard to be an ugly giant disgusting gross unwomanly being.

5. No one cares when I'm sad

Because no one sympathise with manly women who look strong enough to take care of themselves.

No one feels bad for the tall , unfeminine , ugly girl.

Everyone tells me to get over it and expects me to just suffer in silence.

I just wish I had killed myself when I had the chance.

6. People still expect me to have a boyfriend and make fun of me for being single

Even though I'm 'ugly and tall and worthless and manly' people still expect me to magically get a boyfriend and get married and have babies .... yeah...

[CharlieUnicorn]

This makes me sad to read. You sound like a prisoner of toxic feminine ideals which aren't doing you any favors.

A solution is to basically jump over to the other side. Just go and be with the guys, get into male dominated interests like sports, hiking, games, mechanics, beer crafting and all of that. Cultivate a genuine interest for those things and be one of the guys.
It's hell of a lot better than to be some hot girl's "best friend" (if you're stuck in that shitty role).

Regarding dates there, you'll have to be patient. First and foremost you'll be a buddy and one of the guys. There'll be a lot of men who, while they love having you as a friend, still rather wants a feminine girlfriend.
That's fine though, because eventually there'll be some guys who'd rather have you than anyone else, because you understand them in a way no typically feminine woman can.

You might have to be the one to ask them out though, but that's ok. You'll be doing things the masculine way, right.

[myTake Owner]

I explained the guys I'm around dont want to befriend a masculine woman.
I do not really want a boyfriend at the moment. But I hate the fact that guys will only befriend a pretty girl , even just as friendship nothing else.
I've never met anyone who wanted to be my friend , especially guys. They always preferred real women and not myself.

[CharlieUnicorn]

Oh, I'm sorry. I must have missed that part.
It's entirely possible this is just a bad group of men. We can't discount that possibility.

Though I'd like to ask.
Have you tried to really be a part of their interests though? That takes some work and time to assimilate into but my experience is that women who can do that, who also often are very masculine in their demeanor, on the contrary are greatly appreciated in a group of guys.

You'll have to think a little bit like them. A quality conversation for them might be very much on the side of trivia (about football, tech, something else) and very little in terms of affirmation and endearments. But that's how they generally treat each other. It takes a lot longer until you are on the stage of deeper bonding.

[myTake Owner]

I have tried. But they would just ignore me and go on to talk with the beautiful girls about their day or flirt with them.

[CharlieUnicorn]

Aren't there any local groups you can go to that center on an activities you like?

It doesn't have to be a male dominated ones as I've talked about (though I think it could work). There's also amateur theater, art societies and other such communities which tend to draw in a lot of odd people who don't exactly fit in the norm.

[dae07102]

Part of living a happy life is knowing who you are and accepting it. You are not worthless and you are not ugly. You have to realize that you don't need to fulfill the stereotype of what a woman should be like in order to be happy.

I understand how it feels. I hated being short growing up, so when everyone around me was taller than me, it really hurt to see that. But at the same time, I knew that this was going to be me. I wasn't gonna be a six foot tall guy with a ripped body and a chiseled jawline. I wasn't gonna let that hold me down, so I worked around it.

Of course, you're gonna see things differently because you are hard wired differently. There's nothing wrong with that, but you have to own your body and yourself in order to really have the life you want. Fuck what other people have to say about your life because they aren't living your life. YOU are. I hope I helped someone.

[DaDon72]

Honestly I don't know how to describe my mindset but you basically hit it. I may not be the best looking guy but its the fact that I ignore it and don't draw attention to myself that makes me standout more. You'd be surprised how important you are to people you barely know.

[Anonymous]

1. LOL, 177cm is not a giant, most girls in my country are taller than 180 cm.
Voice, hahaha, lots of guys love deep voice.
Feet have nothing to do with your gender, they are not a sex organ.

2. You don't have to be, lots of guys love hot, powerful and dominant women.
Masculine and feminine are gender roles, not the way you look, they are just a social construct.

3. Those guys are probably old-fashioned, bigoted and indoctrinated by patriarchal religion.

4. I'm sure there are some guys who actually like you.

5. That can only make you even stronger.

6. As a matter a fact, lots of guys love tall girls, so you're definitely not worthless.

[wolfcat87]

Yes! Deep voices are considered very sultry, sexy, and sensual... That is why most women's voices get deeper during sex.

[Opinion Owner]

@wolfcat87 Exactly ;)

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you for MHO

[Ellie-V]

I have no idea what you look like but so far the only ugly thing about you is that sour attitude... which can definitely be fixed if you tried hard enough.
You also seem to have too much concern for what others think about you... that can be fixed as well.
And know that there is also someone out there who actually feels the exact same, maybe worse.
You are not alone. But I’m gonna guess that you isolate yourself often... and that can be fixed too!

https://youtu.be/_6_K6pbBtLk

[AlexD835]

1. Attractiveness is subjective, there will be guys out there who either think that you are particularly attractive or just don't care what you look like. Are you an adult human female? If so, you are a woman.

2. Cuteness again is something subjective. Some guys don't want a 'cute' woman, some do and will think you are cute and others just won't care. It's not good for anybody to be powerless (well maybe evil people but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you aren't evil). Many people are dominant and submissive in different aspects of their life. Some are almost entirely one or the other. Again many guys will be particularly attracted to you for that reason.

3. The pool of potential partners extends beyond your workplace.

4. Okay, I'm starting to bore myself with all this talk about subjectiveness. Everybody is ugly to some people and beautiful (maybe not physically but there is far more to life than physical attractiveness) to others.

5. How do you know that nobody cares? Have you told everybody in the world that you are sad? If it's really bad, you could try and speak to a professional about your sadness. It didn't work for me but maybe it will for you. If you kill yourself, you eliminate any possibility (however small you think it is right now) of ever getting better.

6. That's the great thing about expectations, you can ignore them. But if you care about getting married (not about people commenting on your relationship status but actually about being married or at least in a committed relationship with somebody) then I'm certain you can find somebody who will love you exactly the way you are.

It seems, to me at least, that you don't hate being a woman but instead you hate not feeling like a 'real woman'. How do you know what being a real woman feels like? How would you know what being a man is like? People are individuals. You are the way you are. That's all you can really know.

Anyway, I've rambled on for long enough. I hope this has helped even slightly. If not, or even if it has, please feel free to respond in any way you'd like. A lovely "go fuck yourself" or "shut up a your face" is fine with me.

[FunkyMonkee]

Don't sell yourself short. (No pun intended.) People get taller with each generation. All 4 of my grandparents are what you might think of as normal height. My parents were a bit on the tall side. dad was 6' 1" and mom was about 5' 7". I'm 6' 9" and the other 3 of us kids gradually get shorter to a point of about 6'. Both of my sisters are about 6' tall and both are married with kids. Us tall guys need tall girls. My last girlfriend was only 5' 3"!! My second was about your height and my first was somewhere between the two of them.
Now, what I'm wondering is if your opinion of yourself is just made up BY you. When I was in college, there was this absolutely gorgeous, sexy, cute and super sweet girl in the school and nearly EVERY guy on campus wanted to date her!! She looked like a cross between Debby Harry, Kim Cattrall and Marilyn Monroe but, she thought she was fat & ugly!! At one point, she was talking about jumping out of a 4th story window!! Luckily, I was there to talk her out of it!! Her other option was to become a nun!! I'm not sure which fate was worse! I talked her out of that, too!
If that's you in the picture, how can you POSSIBLY call THAT UGLY?
If that's not you, give us a glance! I'm pretty sure you're nowhere NEAR as bad as you let on!! send the pic to me in a PM if you want to. Apparently, I'm not the best-looing slab of meat in the fridge, either!! My first girlfriend didn't come along `til I was about to turn 25!! She broke up with me 3 months later. Turns out, she was already married! My 2nd was a year later, but it was because she was about to have a nervous breakdown and didn't know what she was doing!! She broke up with me after a couple months, too, and went back to her new hubby... my ex-guitarist!! My 3rd & last started 8 years later. she'd also been married before she met me, but he got a sex change. she was with me for nearly 10 years before I caught her cheating on me and broke up with her!! I haven't had ANYONE since!!! That one ended late 2001!! The last time she had sex with me was 1996!! I've been without ever since... and it's NOT by choice!!!

[Blackbrowny]

1. Girl, i am 208 cm (+-2 Hairstyle) , i am a hobby bodybuilder, and my favourite sport is kickboxing.

2. Am i intimidating? hell jeah. the other ones? No! You only think of yourself as disgusting, masculine is just a traditional rolemodel that people use for expectations. Scary? Some people think Gothgirlls are scary... guess what they still find dates!

3. They dont wanna be around you if you just complain all the time, and its nothing wrong with beeing just friends with guys, a friend of mine has more male than female friends (nothing sexual!)

4. Some cultures in indonesia find extremly long necks and and hears attractive. Atractivness is just a pattern you learn from your society, and you just dont fit that of yours, so either put more effort in or accept it. Just dress as you feel comfortable!

5. Ofc people do care! I got a boyfriend for years and i cried too sometimes and he took care of me. And that despite i am about 2 heads taller than him. We dont care, we love each other , we help each other.

6. A lot of people are single, the ugly ones think its their look, the beautiful ones blame their character or dating standards.

You wanna know something about me? I had about 3 somewhat relationships, first one with 15. I am 22 now. Guys fall for me , all the time... because I am confident in myself, and I dont cry in a corner all time.

(Message me if you want, sorry if this sounded rude, but i had these questions about myself, and guess what it didn't kill me.)

[wolfcat87]

Honey, I would bet your attitude about yourself is the most unattractive thing! Men don't care if you are tall. Cute is an attitude. Attractive is an attitude. Feminine is an attitude. I've seen countless people who are unattractive by some society standard who have no problem finding partners. They can wear the ugliest clothes, be anorexic or obese, have deformities or disabilities, and they still find love! Why? They have confidence! No one can love you until you love yourself. Take your strengths and flaunt them!

I'm 5'8". I used to be 5'9". I'm definitely built to look strong and sturdy. My personality is what is delicate. Men love it! Men want to feel needed. Let them feel needed. You seem like a strong individual. People don't feel a need to be soft for strong people. In the past I had people overlook helping me because I seemed strong and independent. I had to let my real self show more. Now that they see the real me, they are quick to help and comfort me.

In general though, people don't like dealing with the sadness of others. It's contagious. I will only try to help sad young children not adults.

When I met my husband over a decade ago, he said that I didn't make him feel needed enough. I was too independent. When I got pregnant soon after, he jumped at his chance to help with everything. It made him feel more manly. If he feels more manly, then he will see me as more womanly.

I hope this helps! You're not stuck in your situation unless you decide to be. You are what you say you are! You are what you CHOOSE to be!

[FunkyMonkee]

My cousin, Debby, is a horse!! I mean, she's HUGE and not incredibly feminine or attractive, but she's been married for well over 20 years and has 2 boys who are both huge and are over 7" tall! They have girlfriends, too!

[Princess199902]

I think you're perfect the way you are and it just makes me feel bad to think you get treated that way and feel that way about yourself.

I just want you to know that no one is bad looking, and I haven't seen you, but I don't need to know how you look to say so. I know that so many people say this just cause, but I truly mean it. You'll find the most amazing people to surround yourself with, that'll help you find your worth and stick with you because of your personality, not how you look. But I'm sure they'll absolutely love you for your looks too :)

The problem with some guys is... they only dream about the 'perfect' girls. Or at least, what society deems as 'perfect' is curvy, thin, soft voice, average height, silky hair etc. However, every girl and every single person is different. You don't need to feel bad for being different. You being different is a blessing in disguise.

People these days make fun of everyone, I don't know why, but they do. They find enjoyment in seeing someone sad. But let me tell you, not everyone is like that.

Even in my darkest times, I've found a very few amount of people that are 1 in a million. They're so supportive and they love every bit of me. I'm so sure there'll be people like that for you too.

You should actively join groups and activities where you can meet new people that are open to loving everyone, you should never feel like you're any less than another woman. You aren't.

I hope you feel better soon, don't ever let people get you down, you're so much better than that even though I don't know you personally, I can tell that you're emotionally strong :)

[SketchForger]

It's would be against my better judgment to respond to this, but I feel I can make a small exception. In this scenario you describe yourself as being ugly, tall, and having bigger feet and a deep voice.

You mentioned that you're 177 centimeters tall. That's still only slightly above average height. (5'10" at most for imperial measurement users.)

Now I'm not going to tell you that everyone is going to be accepting of you. But the brighter side to this is you have G@G to help and you don't have to worry about implicit prejudice.

But I also sense some hyperbole in what you claim to be. You may feel that you are not feminine enough to even call yourself a woman, but at the end of the day it all becomes a product in how others tell you to view yourself.

Hell. I'm not exactly a serviceable example of masculinity, but when I consider that, I guess it's all a product of my environment.

I also understand that society has come to accept more Feminine men, and more masculine women as well. You may feel alone, but trust me when I say a lot of people, rather than seeing you as ugly, will see you as elegant, imposing, and even have a preference towards more masculine women.

Hell I had someone on this site ask me if I was transgender. He wasn't trying to insult me, he was asking because he had a thing for transgenders. Does this mean you look like your transgender? No. Does it mean that people's preferences go beyond just masculine and feminine.

As for your friends... I just suggest you get new ones if they treat you so dismissively.

[Vegeta01]

You do realize that 177 is slightly above the average male height not the average female height. She is miles taller than the average woman. And taller than 50% of the population of men. That says a lot.

[SketchForger]

@Vegeta01 it doesn't really undermine my overall point.

[Vegeta01]

It doesn't undermine your overall point true, I just wanted to point out the mistake that you made and that's all.

[SketchForger]

@Vegeta01 kk

[justathotty]

Hey, I feel u. I'mm 180 and not a very curvy person and I sometimes see myself (especially mannerisms, the way I speak) slightly masculine. I don't get guys throwing themselves at me irl either, I think it has a lot to do with the dominative/intimidating trait, I have had some guys and girls tell me that I come off as scary or unapproachable bc of that.
The saddest part in my opinion, however, is when guys (usually shorter than me...) tare very ruse towards me even though I barely know them/they're complete strangers.
Surround yourself with right people and -this sounds cheesy- learn to embrace your height/other features. A lot of girls wish they were taller even if they won't tell that to you, if nothing else helps.
Hope I did, though 😊xx

[noubigdumbdumb]

In a way though not too much, you sort of are similar to my girlfriend of over 2 years now. My girlfriend is about 172 (I'd say pretty tall for a girl) while I'm about 178. (both asian) We both do cosplay, and people say that I'd look like a prettier girl than her and she'd make a hotter boy than me. However, I've grown to love this sorta thing, as I still see her as a beautiful girl, and she sees me as a cute boy who can be a man when he needs to be. As for the last 4 traits, you're clearly not with the right people.

[lightbulb27]

First thought is 177cm is 5'8. That's hardly tall, and that is about right for a lot of guys.

I've seen masculine women happily married. It may take a more feminine male. Everyone is somewhere on the feminine to masculine scale, and honestly, I haven't been drawn to really feminine women, I prefer the stronger type.

I accept it is hard being a woman, and in our culture. But it is hard being a male sometimes too and I could list all kinds of issues I've had a pitty party on. Stop comparing yourself to others and living according to their expectations and accept/ love yourself first. That is essential. That projects out and others are drawn to your positiveness.

[Vegeta01]

177 is not 5'8 it's a tad shorter than 5'10 which is hella tall for a woman. And yeah 177 is more than the male average height so i don't think "that is about right for a lot of guys".

[RolandCuthbert]

I can't really provide much assistance here. I am not a woman. Don't really understand women's issues. GaG is a very bad place for people who are suffering from depression or who need emotional support. It just isn't a very caring place. And all you can do here is find people who will

There is a forum on the internet called "supportgroups". You can go to another place called "meetup". You can find places where people will empathize and help. Here mostly what you will find is people who will kick you while you are down. They will then climb on top of you to push themselves to the next level.

Get out of this place.

[CuChullan]

You are very much like my S/O. She's a bit taller than you, broad shouldered and very physically strong.
You're problem isn't your physicality, it's more about self esteem and confidence. Confidence is the most beautiful and sexy thing any woman, no matter how she looks, can ever wear.
Instead of descending into the 'poor mees" find some way of working on your confidence and self esteem. Not always easy to do. But it will make a huge positive difference to your life. So it's worth it.
Just like you are.

[JudgmentDay]

"6. People still expect me to have a boyfriend and make fun of me for being single"

I'd tell all those people to GO FUCK THEMSELVES AND GO DIE IN A FIRE if they keep pushing you around. Tell them all to FUCK OFF! Take no shit from anybody else and stand up for yourself and hold your ground. Don't let anybody push you around or make fun of you, make it clear and direct to them it ain't funny and that they don't know who the fuck they fuckin' with. Because if you keep letting them walk all over you and push you around make fun of you and you DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT IT, then they'll just keep doing it over and over again.

[Wolframium]

Lol. 177 cm and gigant. :-D I'm sorry, but what am I supposed to say with my 2 m? Like 203, or something? :-D 177 is average as far as I am concerned.
And it isn't something like 150 or 160, like girls are. Dwarwes. Your height is way hotter than their shortness.
You are intimidating? OK, then intimidate those talking shit about you. Use it.
Be glad you're not just some cute kitten, which needs constant protection.
I don't know, how unattractive you are, I don't see your photo. So…you say that, I cannot confirm or deny.
5: Yeah. Welcome to the club
6: Fuck people. So what? Their expectation are just their expectations. You don't have live them.
Hey. PM me. Seriously. If you, by any chance, will read this. Given there is already 41 comments, I assume the only thing reading it, will be some parser algorithm on some server somewhere, where GaG is hosted.

[courtney06]

Hey just letting you know I feel for you and you are entitled to how you feel. I commend you for sharing this in a MyTake, that takes courage. The fact that you are aware of how you feel and what you dislike and being able to admit it is the first step towards healing. I refuse to shame you for how you feel like some people do here. They don't know what it's like to be you.

I can relate to one of the reasons you mentioned and I still feel insecure about it from time to time. This may be hard to believe, but I am sure I don't fit the standards of what is considered super feminine to some people. What helps me is staying in touch with people who truly appreciate my company and letting go of the ones who are ambiguous, mean, or clearly don't care. Also finding subtle ways to help people helps me feel better about myself. I don't try to be their best friend or expect much back, I just help here and there and keep it moving.

[billy5432135]

177cm is not that tall. I'm serious, I used to have a huge crush on a girl that was 5'11 (180.4 cm) and to be honest her height was my main attraction to her, plus she had a good personality. You said that you are very masculine with a deep voice. Obviously I haven't heard your voice so I can't comment on that but I do know several guys that are very attracted to masculine women "I personally am very turned on by tomboys". My advice would be to go outside your current social circle. You never know who is out there and you may find someone who has been looking for something different than the normal for years.

[Rhonda333]

Well I did change genders, male to female,. Best thing I ever did, although I do share a number of features with you. I'm 172 and I have big hand and feet- 11b in US size. That does not stop me from being feminine and attracting men. There are many men who prefer tall athletic women , so I suggest you go after them. Renew you wardrobe and wear feminine attire, not jeans and T shirts. Get a new hair style, and good luck.

[wolfcat87]

Agreed, and what a helpful perspective!

[Rhonda333]

@wolfcat87 Thank you wolf, glad somebody is reading this stuff.

[lifelearner011]

I try to focus in what I can do. I understand you.
When I was a little girl I grew up in a very traditional and "repressed" environment. I dreamed in the idea of meeting someday a man, having a career, getting married and having children.
Time passed, and you know what. I've haven't met a man, I'm still studying to have a career, haven't got married neither had children. So.. if I give to that too much light. I might end up crazy, depressed and in crisis.
I try to love day by day choosing and counting the things I'm happy for and joyful. Have faith in yourself you are worthy of love and of living well. Every person has a fight in their lives going. Just don't loose hope in yourself.

[ColoradoKid]

Some people are assholes. I bet your like me and everyone else. You breathe and bleed and feel it makes you human just like the rest of us. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I used to be told that I was ugly and fat. Now no one says that. I am 6'1" and 200 lbs. I am not built like the Rock but I am not week and I get told I am too skinny now. Most women call me handsome but hell if I was I wouldn't be single. We are our own worst critics my friend. What we don't or can't see in ourselves others can. People making fun of others are not people that I hang around.

[BrittBratt2416]

don't say those things, i bet you don't look manly. I can't tell you how many times I get mistaken for a man cause of my afro it's seriously annoying sometimes then I make my voice super high pitch so they know im a girl. Has someone made fun of you and said you were ugly or masculine to make you feel this way? From what I heard, guys say they do like tall girls you just have to find one who like what your working with.

I'm not the most attractive girl either, I posted my picture on here before so you can go see for yourself but I still manage to find someone who loves me so If i can do it I'm sure you can to. You just have to start building up your self esteem and not let your insecurities get the best of you. Any time you have a negative thought, say something positive about yourself in front of the mirror and keep saying that each day.

[Keyboardkat]

You sound like you're a depressed person, and you may need medical help. In any case, your self-esteem is down in the gutter. You describe yourself as tall and ugly. Who told you you're ugly? Tall girls are not ugly just because they are tall! Many tall girls are stunning! Why do you let other people determine how you feel about yourself? You need to change your depressed, negative outlook first, because this always shows on the outside and will drive people away. Please, seek medical help or counseling for your depression. Once this is alleviated, you will see other things change for you.