The definition of beauty
A combination of qualities, such as shape, colour, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight
Yet Confucius said of beauty:
Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it.
So what is beauty? (This is a question if you guys have opinions) Is it defined by the symmetry of your face, is it your age, colour, race, bone structure, gender, body shape, weight or how flat your stomach is? Or maybe it's defined by what you see in the media or by popular culture and trends, for example a big butt and big lips are in, simply because of certain celebrities.
Different cultures believe beauty to be different (yes I did my homework for this)
From the Kayan tribes who believe that long giraffe type necks are the ultimate sign of beauty and from age five, start stretching their necks with heavy brass rings, to several parts of Asia where pale or white skin is seen as a sign of beauty
Or maybe beauty is the ability of the makeup artists
Watching a very pretty girl on TV sadly describe herself as "not being very pretty and not even attractive" I wondered what that really meant
Have you ever come out of a steamy hot shower and tried to look at your reflection in the mirror when it's completely covered in steam(yes annoys me too mirrors need windscreen wipers)
I often think that is how we tend to view our beauty through fogged and distorted mirrors. We are seeing ourselves but the picture isn't exactly what is truly there and we have limited visibility! The mirrors have been fogged up through different life experiences and memories the traumas and the process of growing up and now come together to form an adult beauty
The first mirror is formed as a young child and is often based on what was said about us from our parents and those around us. I remember being told that I was a cute child, so that when I got a little older and was around six or seven and another child (not surprisingly a little boy) tried to tell me I was ugly maybe I was - everything within me rose up against the statement and I completely denied it. The statement was in such contrast to what had been drilled into me, that my self-belief in what my parents had said stood strong.
The second mirror is the mirror of the teenager for me I was homeschooled and I had a bit of a hard time loving myself around this time a lot happened and that mirror morphed into a strange daemon of self hate and in a lot of ways it's still there but I am starting to rebuild the child like me having a better confidence in myself
The final mirror comes from socially constructed ideas of beauty. When you see the actresses and the singers and the models with perfect bodies and faces and we are all trying to force ourselves into this no rowing gap of perfection
I believe that real beauty is acceptance of yourself, perceived flaws and all and to realise that they are a part of what makes you, you. It's a radiance of spirit, having character, kindness to ourselves and to others, it's strength and self-confidence to know that with or without makeup the real beauty is you.
Part of beauty also has to be about the things that make you feel beautiful. For me that's anything from lounging at home with my hair up in a bun minus the makeup, to a compliment from a stranger when I'm not even trying, to wearing an amazing new outfit combined with a bright red lipstick.
I say beauty comes from within - you are beauty and beauty is you. You are perfect it might not seem that way but you are
I think it's about starting to appreciate yourself as you would any other perfect being
If you look at a flower or sunset, you don't tend to judge it; you simply accept and appreciate it for what it is.
So maybe it's time to create a fourth mirror, a new mirror that is wiped clean and is minus the fog of comparisons, accusations, judgement and expectations.
Now this isn't easy I'm struggling with myself to do so and it's hard but I'm here to fight with you and win with you a message to. Every insecure or hurting person out there I feel you and I'm here
Take a look, a real hard look and embrace and accept you as you are - beautiful