Why having racial preferences is not racism!

Here’s a simple statement: Most girl’s Im attracted to do not smoke, when a girl smokes, it is a turn off.

Why having racial preferences is not racism!

here's another statement: Most women I’m attracted to are white, that is to say the color of a girl’s skin affects how I’m attracted to her.

These two statements are more or less the same thing. I constantly hear from black woman “You don’t like me because you’re racist”, and I think to myself “I don’t like you because you said what you said”.

I want to get one thing straight: Racism, or the study of behavior between races(whatever you want to call that), is a very complicated subject matter, and if we want to be true to the idea of different races, racism is an innate aspect of our biology. There are two ways that the word “racism” is used:

The first is the unequal treatment, or unfair treatment of people based solely off of color.

The second is the difference in social customs, behavior, and attitudes towards members of other races.

The first definition occurs in someone who is simply immature, insensitive, and selfish. The second one is inescapable. We view people in comparison to ourselves. We use ourselves as a metric system to understand others, and when we see people who are very similar to us, in mind and body, we are at ease, because we are familiar with those characteristics and so we become comfortable, unafraid of those things.

It is apart of our innate biology that we get along with people who are similar to us. But learning to develope trust with others different than you takes time, because in order for you to appreciate someone very different from you, you need to be more like them and find little things that you can relate with.

This is is the fundamental problem with racism; most people do not generally understand the underlying mechanisms behind their behavior, and dehumanizing someone makes it easier to insult them and call them racist.

I’ll give a few examples of the ideas I’m trying to get across.

I did not grow up in a black community, or in a white community. I lived in Belgium for the first three years of my life, and I have little to no memory of my time there, but what I do remember are my next six years in Japan.

For six years I lived on military bases all around Japan, my neighbors were either white kids or Asian kids. I occasionally had a black friend here and there, but nothing signficant. I didn’t have any Hispanic friends either, that was just the environment in which our “house” was(we didn’t get to choose where we lived, we were assigned a place to live I believe). For six years I went to public Japanese schools, all of my friends there were Japanese.

Flash forward to my time in America, I prefer the Japanese people over the Americans that I met in my teenage years. Why? Because I grew up with Japanese, it was the first culture that I really adopted that was imprinted on me. It’s basic psychology really. My mother was turkish and my father was American, I wasn’t purely of European descent.

Truth is, I grew up with little to no friends once I was in America. Because the sort of people that I lived weren’t with me, and this was a completely strange new place.

I guarantee you if a child lived there whole life without knowing its own skin color or race, it would realize what race it truly belong to by simply gauging how they acted and were reacted to from other people.

So, back to the original topic.

Why am I not attracted to 99% of black women? Because I don’t have a feeling of desire to be with them, not physically at least. It’s as simple as that, I’m not saying I wouldn’t date a black woman, I’m just saying she’d have to be very different from the most that I had met.

Why having racial preferences is not racism!
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Most Helpful Girl

  • LillyPetals

    It depends on your reasons for it. If someone says I won’t date a certain race because they’re ugly, inferior subhuman then that’s certainly racist. If a person says I won’t date a certain race because in general they are not attractive to me then that’s not racist.
    I personally don’t date outside my race and my reason because men of my own race are the most attractive but there are good looking people of all races. I’m certainly not a racist.

    Is this still revelant?
    • Did you read the full thing? Because you’re saying essentially what I’m saying

Most Helpful Guys

  • Kelnius

    Yes, it is. Racial preference is, by definition racist.
    You are making a judgement of someone's worth - in this case, as a romantic partner - entirely on their race.

    Your attempts to present this attitude as cultural difference and a result of upbringing is both feeble and transparent.

    Is this still revelant?
    • I think you miss the point

    • Kelnius

      I don't believe so. It's hard to miss racism when you see it...

    • Yeah I guess you did skip it

    • Show All
  • bamesjond0069

    Dude this can be explained in two seconds. You dont have a problem with black skin but with black culture.

    I would date a black girl if A she was thin B she was conservative not liberal C she was not ghetto acting/rap music wannabe

    But how many black girls are not that? 😂

    Is this still revelant?
    • I wouldn’t call it a “problem”, but yes I’m unattracted to both black culture and most black features

What Girls & Guys Said

  • Thank you!!! I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who sees the differences between preference and racism. Pretty much every time I tell a guy of another race that I prefer white men, they go crazy saying I’m racist. I used to care, but I’ve heard it so much now that I’m just like okay think what you want 🤷🏻‍♀️

    Great Take by the way 👍🏻

    • Finally, someone who understands what I’m saying rather than blurting “racism” the moment they see something related to race.

  • alfiegoodtimes

    Dude you like what you like! I have been very lucky to also be a military family. I traveled all over and in my adult life I definitely continued traveling. I have had many adventures. I have had the pleasure of many countries cuisine.. 😎😉. I prefer Korean over Japanese. Russian over German, Columbian over Brazilian. Dating a Nubian queen requires certain swag...

  • saeyamazaki

    I agree with you, racial preferences isn't racism. It's racism when 'prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism is directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.'

  • White-American89

    I agree. Generally speaking I'm more attracted to pale skinned white women with blonde or red hair but that doesn't make me racist anymore than me being more attracted to women of healthy weight makes me fatist.

  • Babygirl_S

    Racism: prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.

    • Babygirl_S

      If you're choosing based on race then you're prejudiced against other races. At least accept that you're a racist.

    • A-man-22

      If there is no love there you cannot force it simple as.

      They probably don't want to date them either so this is a non issue.

    • Babygirl_S

      He isn't talking about love. He thinks certain women are inferior. No woman wants to date a man who has such beliefs. I personally wouldn't want a guy who makes fun of Indian girls.

    • Show All
  • Alexww

    I agree 100% with you!!
    The race thing is so overrated and actually getting quite boring.
    I like blonde girls with blue eyes. Auburn girls with green eyes. Don't like black girls. This is not a racial statement only preferential.

  • Satanicpriest

    Here’s what turns it into a racial issue generalizing when everyone is an individual and you have not met every individual so you don’t know whether or not you would like them regardless of color so just the statement I don’t likeDark skin he’s just ignorant and I do have a prejudice against ignorant people and that you can generalize

  • chocochipcookie

    It was a long post to read it. Well. If you are not get attracted to black then it doesn't matter. But you should not say "I hate all black people because they are black. Especially when it comes to women." Then that's a racist. So the point is that doesn't mean u have problems with ur brain. That's just ur sexual taste. But you can be friends with them.

  • ShadowofRegret

    I think some people go overboard with the whole "racist" thing, different people have different preferences, some prefer certain hair colors, some certain eye colors, and naturally, some prefer certain skin colors.

    Some prefer white, some black, some Asian, some hispanic, it depends on the individual, I personally prefer east Asian women myself, it does not make one racist to have preferences.

    Now if someone started talking about a "superior" or "inferior" race, or that a specific race was "subhuman", now that would be racist! But not simply preferring one race over others.

  • GhettoGirl

    I find it just a little hard to believe a black woman accused you of being racist because you have a preference for your own. Not saying you lie, just maybe not the language used, rather you felt she implied this. Black women ourselves are the most reluctant statistically to mingle interracial in dating. Tides may be changing but all the black women in my family and most I know would never accuse you of being a racist because they werent considered equally appealing to your eye. We actually get it, because I pause in appraisal of white men. I'm not lying or being facetious, you all look just about the same to me.

  • Even those of us who date all races and ethnicities have preferences.

    • Preferences don’t Pivot off one aspect only, color. Everyone is an individual and should be treated as such generalizing is never good.

  • guilyang

    None of this is real. You haven't met a black woman you like because they're less than 20% of north americas population at that point. You don't have to think about these things.

  • everyone is attracted to different kinds of people, it isn't racist, its cliche

  • Angels-vs-Demons

    Right. Just like picking one sex over another for a date doesn't make us sexist.

  • How many of these threads are we going to have?

  • MoscowMitch

    This is kind of duh, but yes.

    • To a vast majority of Americans, this needs to be clarified unfortunately

  • PrinceOfAljazeera

    i don't find black women attractive at all.

  • Anonymous

    i think the point is that it easily could be racism

  • Anonymous

    I tend to be attracted to non whites and I'm white. I have no idea why. I grew up in an almost all white community but lived close enough to Chicago to get Chicago tv and radio so I wasn't enclosed in a vacuum.

    I wouldn't reject a man asking me out if he's white but the majority who have shown any interest have been non white except for one man. I was just thinking a moment ago about the fact that I didn't date in middle school and high school and mostly bullied. I wonder if there is some correlation between me preferring non white men and the bullying. Maybe that is too much psychology anyway I tend to prefer Asian men and that has been pretty much true since my high school years. Not one specific group. I was married to a man from the Middle East.

  • Anonymous

    You're right. While I'm not attracted to the stereotypical black woman. I would still date a black woman if I found her attractive.

  • Anonymous

    Agreed. Attraction is a natural thing and cannot be forced. We are attracted to who we are attracted to, period. And no one should date someone they are not attracted to.