We live in a world where pretty matters and anyone who says otherwise is flat out wrong.
Several years ago I learned this fact the hard way when I applied for a promotion. I was overqualified and should have been (was) the best candidate for the job. However, this position involved working directly with my boss’s boss and he has a knack for choosing favorites amongst the pretty girls. At the time I was overweight and in a failing relationship that had me depressed and well, even though I wasn’t a slob by any means I did not take the best care of myself.
Losing out on the promotion, especially in the state my relationship was in, was just another failure and I was beginning to think that I had maxed out my potential. But more than depressed, I was angry. Why do things come so easily to pretty people who already have so much going for them? It just wasn’t fair.
It was around this time I had stumbled upon RuPaul’s Drag Race and I realized the truth. If men, even below average looking men, can look like gorgeous supermodels, why can’t I? Why can’t anyone?
We live in a world where absolutely ANYTHING you hate about yourself physically can be changed with enough hard work and money.
Hate your body? Exercise, diet and/or surgery.
Hate your hair? Stylists and/or wigs.
Hate your skin? Dermatologists, tans and products.
Hate your teeth? Braces/surgery and whitening.
You can even change the color of your eyes with contact lenses.
Shaving, waxing, bleaching, straightening/curling, nipping/tucking there is just so much you can do to improve your physical self. If you have the will and want it bad enough, there is a way for you to be attractive.
So that’s what I did.
I started by losing the extra weight with exercise and diet, granted I hated every moment of it but I was determined. Started watching makeup and hair tutorials on YouTube. Began moisturizing and tanning (fake) I even whitened my teeth. For reaching my first weight loss goal I got highlights and a trim, consulting with my stylist what looks would work best for me.
The last thing I did was go shopping. I started with all new undergarments. Bras that lifted and supported. And finally, cloths that accentuated my best parts and flattered my lesser ones.
2 years later and I was a different person.
I was someone who I liked seeing in the mirror. My confidence was up and I didn’t hide anymore. Being attractive on the outside helped me feel comfortable with who I was on the inside. I started making new friends, and when my relationship ended and I started dating again, new possibilities opened up that I would never have even considered “in my league” before.
The real moment of truth came when a promotional opportunity opened up again. I repeated the same interview again, but this time things were quite different. Before it was a very brief interview where the basic questions were asked, lasting no more than 20 min. This time it was laughs and banter mixed in with the odd relevant question here and there, and on top of lasting upwards of an hour, the big boss was unable to maintain eye contact.
2 weeks later I was pulled in and offered the promotion.
I know I deserved the job. I deserved it 2 and a half years earlier when I was unattractive and a big part of me resents the fact that it took me changing nearly everything about myself physically in order to be noticed and for my good work to finally be recognized.
But that is the world we live in.
Beauty is the name of the game and you have to pay to play.
The good news, however, is anyone can play. Sure some people start out with an advantage, and you may never be Ryan Reynolds or Blake Lively but you can be beautiful/handsome no matter your current state, through knowledge, money and a LOT of hard work.
Is it right or fair?
Absolutely not, I am not saying it is.
And at the end of the day, if you are fine with who you are, that is fantastic! Good for you! But I was not. And instead of sitting around and being sad or angry at the world for the things I wasn’t blessed with, I forced myself to stop being lazy and...