Should my (strict) mom reconsider and allow me to wear more makeup? She tells me it's going to age my face but I dont look my age?

[Rebel-Angel]

[SnowedIn]

LOL I love this question.

First, for context, I'm a dad of four: three boys (20, 18, and 14) and an 11-year-old daughter. So I come to this question with that in mind.

Should your mom reconsider? Yes, I think she should. I believe that makeup (like clothes) isn't a hill for parents to die on or even a battle to be fought. I think teenagers need to experiment and learn and try and fail and succeed and everything in between. I also think intent matters, right? Like, if a teen wants makeup to go hang at 7-11 and pick up guys, that's prob not the best course of action. But a teen who wants makeup because, well, that's what girls/women do? Hell yeah. Let them. :)

In the case of my daughter, she's allowed to wear makeup if she wants. She could care less. She knows she can if she wants (and she has to pay for it herself) but right now she's more concerned with scents. And baggy jeans. smh.

All that said, I suspect that your mom may not budge. But it's always worth trying. If you do, have the conversations thoughtfully, rationally, unemotionally, and without "you" statements or acrimonious accusations. Try to convince her that this is something you want to try for you and it's not connected with reputation or boys or sex or "bad" stuff. And that you'll start a skin care regimen so it doesn't age your face (not sure I'm buying that argument by the way...) But, in the end, it may not work. And like I said that as a parent I believe that makeup (or clothes or hair) isn't a hill for parents to die on, I recommend that while you may want to have this discussion with her that you don't let it be a hill for YOU to die on either. :)

One final idea. You don't mention "dad" so if there isn't, please forgive me. But, one idea might be to talk to dad. Preface your comments by stating VERY clearly that you are NOT trying to undermine mom's authority or get dad to say "yes" when mom said "no" but merely that here's what you think (X, Y, and Z) and would he be willing to plead your case with mom. That's worked effectively for all four of my kids both through mom to me and through me to mom. In the end, she and I are always in agreement with a final decision but we can be swayed to change our minds.

Best wishes with this.

[Rebel-Angel]

My dad is present in my life but if I try to talk to him about it, I'll get yelled at and interrupted for "trying to go behind her back" and get make-up anyways. My mom's sisters were allowed make-up at 12 but my mom didn't wear it until 16, so she holds that against me.

[SnowedIn]

This really does suck. I can't understand because I was never a teen girl told I couldn't wear makeup but I do understand as a dad and just that, in general, it sucks. It reeks of "not fair" and (in my mind) doesn't make sense. It's also bizarre to me that parents pick arbitrary ages for things. Like, "you can date when you're 15" or makeup at 16. I genuinely don't get it.

My advice is to keep the peace. Your frustration is legit and your want for makeup is very legit. I just wouldn't let this be a cause for strife in your house.

And, keep periodically asking. Politely. Nicely. But keep the pressure on. My daughter is an expert in that and it works! :)

Again, sorry about this.

[Nuthouse]

Yes what doesn’t she let you wear

[Rebel-Angel]

pretty much all make-up products except mascara and lip glosses/oils

[Nuthouse]

Oh well yeah she should

[riverrat3]

i bet you look nice without, most ladies do