I can't say I'm immune to the unrelenting desire to approach a hot girl in a bar when I've had too many, with the simple: "Hey, there," thinking this will magically make her fall into bed with me. On a side note, I think why guys keep doing this, is because sometimes it works. But back to my main focus, this guy.....
The guy that gets a palm in the face before getting two words in. I used to think..man, or woman rather, if you didn't want to get hit on, why the hell did you dress like an Eastern European hooker and sit at a bar. That was until I had my taste of the other side.
As a Ph.D. student, I often do a lot of my homework, grading, and research in a bar, alone. I don't know why, I just do, okay. Anyways, the only times anyone ever really notices me is when a drunk girl stumbles my way and asks all kinds of obnoxious questions: "Are you on Tinder, I'd totally swipe right," seriously, women have pick up lines now- talk about equality. When this first happened, I was amused, and it was nice to have girls approach me without having to do any work. But then it started happening... a lot. Like a lot, a lot. And, at that point it just started getting to the point, of leave me the hell alone unless you have something interesting to say.
Yeah, that's as close as I could get to "guy studying in bar," apparently it's not that common.
Now, I know what you are thinking: count your blessings dude, most guys would kill to have that attention. Just go to Starbucks to do your homework if you don't want the attention, etc. etc. And, yeah I get you. But here's the thing, I don't want to go to Starbucks. I like the loud music, crappy food, sports tv, and cheap beer I can get at the bar, and I can do what I want - so there!
My point is, as much as these hot girls you are approaching may appear to you as "asking for it," in reality they may not be looking for male attention - seriously! Or at least male attention from just any male, it starts to become more tedious than anything else, and you can start to get rude which may be very unlike your (her) personality normally.
The over-arching goal of this MyTake though, is to point out to you fellas how to approach a girl in a bar, which is taken from my experience on how I wish girls would approach me.
1. Don't use a pick up line.
2. You can buy her a drink but don't expect it to do any miracles for you. She's entitled to leave the conversation.
3. If your plastered and she's not, I wouldn't even bother. if you need a little buzz to build up courage, that's fine, but make sure you can still articulate like a freaking adult.
4. Before you approach, try to catch her eye. There is a a balance here, a thin line between staring like a creeper and catching her eye to see if she'd like you to come over. Now, that doesn't mean don't come over just because she didn't think you were attractive, you may still have a shot, but I'd try catching her eye first.
5. Be direct, tell her you think she looks nice. No, if done right, this is not a pick up line. If she rejects you at this point, sorry she's just not into you, move on.
6. Honestly, you can void all the other advice if you just remember one thing- confidence. A lot of these girls annoy me because they are stumbling all over themselves, don't really have anything to say, and are generally wasting my time. So if you are going to walk up to a girl, have a normal conversation, seriously do not worry about gimmicks or tricks, just talk to her like you would talk to any girl anywhere.
Hope this helps, maybe not, who knows.
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