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62Opinion
I understand and yeah, it kind of sucks, but this is just the direction our society is going in. In other words, yes, approaching women is sexual harassment. At least in the area I live (left coast, US) this has been made abundantly clear. If you want to approach a woman that you don't already know, then use an online dating site or app. Or move to the south. The women still appreciate flirty comments down there, but there are no promises as to how long that will last.
@jp612612 this is why I'm thankful I don't live in the States. Approaching women is sexual harassment. You have an absolute racist and xenophobe for President. Just being there or looking at a girl might land me in prison! Or, happier, deported! I'm best served staying in my own country.
It is in 2018 and beyond. If you sneeze in her general direction that's rape. If you hold the door open for her you may as well run a train on her cause it's the same. And the worst, and I mean the worst thing you could do is say "hi". Don't even go there. You're looking at 25 years in a federal penitentiary. Go gay while you still can.
I have a lot of approach anxiety to begin with.
But i dont give a fuck about sexual harrasment.
No chick ever accused me of that.
I have been turned down and called creepy before, and i dont mind that anymore.
Lol, op that kuraj idiot blocked me. I don't know how that happened. I thought my reply was posted.
Ask him to google the meaning of approaching. Or pick up a dictionary.
Is he "driven by his dick" when he approaches people every day?
Like his mom, dad or siblings 😂😂😂
Lol. Only just saw this, sorry man. The amount of shit he twisted for his little snowflake agenda is hilarious. I was being tolerant enough to listen and respond to his bullshit but he then blocked me as well so I just removed his opinion altogether 😂
No problem. People like him want to change the meaning of words now.
You can't change the dictionary just because you feel differently about certain words.
If people like that had their way, no one would be talking to anyone.
Cute story.
BUT
The truth is that is your hero had been unattractive and acted exactly the same way, he would have been met with, at best, "polite" coldness and, at worst, anger mockery and cries of sexual harassment. An attractive guy could have walked over and licked her face while grabbing her tit and would still get a better reaction.
Exaggerations aside, I understand what you're saying and I agree that there's a level of truth to it.
do some people seriously consider approaching women as sexual harassment? dumbest thing I've ever heard
Some people want to see the world burn...
Stupid af I know, but unfortunately it's real. Take the historical creature known as the SJW whale feminazi for example.
@notaken Like Bane LOL
I dislike people even going near me, like getting on the bus is awful hate been around people.
So if a guy approched me i would class it is a harassment not sexaul but harassment cause i don't want no guy approching me.
And i feel like some others will think like this also.
You honestly just sound like a mess dude.
@Wammu and you sound like another person to dislike.
oh nooo , an edgy teen dislikes me, whatever shall I do?
@Wammu i dunno that's up to you i don't care.
Go back to watching Tokyo-Ghoul, kiddo.
@Wammu who would dare watch that crap the anime sucks.
Oh ho trying to approach people today, well I live in New York and most people here a dicks and don't give shit about you and move on with their days so trying to break that wall to introduce yourself and get something out of it is damn near impossible
Respect for doing it. Already a lot stronger than most guys. I know what you mean. I used to approach whoever my friends told me to and it resulted in a lot of embarrassing times. Nowadays I'd only approach a girl if she was attractive and we made eye contact.
It's a hassle for both parties involved. Also cringe-inducing. Is it a woman's job to make a guy feel more like a man and reduce his social anxiety? No, especially if she's doing shopping or studying in her own space. No on'es paying her to be Minnie Mouse to put on smiles for every person that tells her she's the girl of their dreams. Ideally, it would be great if both parties left feeling happy, but she doesn't owe the guy anything, so what should he expect if things don't go his way?
I think you're wrong on this. Your view is incredibly common to have, but to me it looks like there is a balance that's healthy:
Men treat women with extra respect, courtesy (open doors, extend a helping hand more often, show respect in speech, be more delicate, etc) and take on more responsibility in terms of paying for things, while women are then expected to reciprocate by way of making men more comfortable, making him feel more like a man, smiling, taking care of feminine chores, etc.
If you want to argue the way you do here, then you have to by extension also argue that guys should not take on their masculine responsibilities. I don't think most people want to live in a society that discards this social contract between men and women.
@cykasenpai That healthy balance you speak of is very traditional and stereotypical, but the world is getting more progressive, in which guys and girls don't have to be expected to have any responsibilities to play antiquated roles. Today, it's cool if women propose first, or if a guy stays home to take care of the child. No one can say transgenders are less of a woman or man for who they want to be. It would be nice if people treated each other with equal respect because being genuine is one the best compliments you can pay them. But if you are doing it because it's expected of you, then what is so sincere about that?
Doesn't look antiquated to me. People talk about how equal our relationships are and etc but it looks to me like in reality, things don't follow that social idea at all. Basically, the difference between now and before is that you are allowed to act however you want, but the biological differences are the same underneath. So you're right in that people act in ways that are less traditional, but the cost of that is less functional relationships.
@cykasenpai Less functional is to be determined. People in same sex relationships seem pretty happy. And homosexuality isn't a new concept either
Sky-high divorce rates and socially inept kids from too much daycare and too little time spent with parents are pretty disfunctional conditions.
It's not that simple.
It's either your her type & she'll make the move,... or your an automatic creeper & keep the hell away from her.
You can be confident all that you want to be,... you are either going to be her type or not. If not, you are just a creeper/weirdo. If you are now just her friend, your chances are fucked.
I think what you're saying is somewhat true, however you're not automatically going to either be her type or not. It's a spectrum. She might find some guys to be the most attractive guys on earth, she mind find some to be ok - but still doable and she might find some who are too unattractive for her. There's always going to be some wiggle room in there.
Well clearly you've had much better chances than I have. I know I have met & experienced some terrible examples. All the more reason why I just quit talking to women. I have plenty of confidence but on that same level through my experience, I just know I have been through some bullshit. Which is why I just thought,..."Fuck'em".
Fair enough, I respect that. I feel the same way a lot of the time.
I ( never ) approach women period, they approach me. And I've never been single either. Honestly men , women do the selecting and men either confirm her acquaint or reject the notion. If your not getting a bite on you hook , check the bait. Dont choose to approach , choose to keep or not.
You're not a 20-year old though. Things flip on their head when guys enter 30+ but til then, women are in much higher demand on average.
No , but im married to a 21 year old. Trust me , it's all true. This is one paradigm that's never changed since the dawn of mankind.
Which paradigm? That older men are attractive to younger women. On that we can agree.
Nevertheless, your specific scenario of success despite never approaching women won't work for 95% of men, so it's kind of naive to broadcast it as a solution to the general case.
@cykasenpai Either way, anyone can sit back and wait around for whoever chooses them, that's all well and good, but not every woman is going to approach a man, in fact it's quite rare - most women will simply show signs that they're interested and hope you'll approach them. I'd rather go after what I want and who I choose, not just accept whoever has chosen me first.
You say that, but then a bunch of women challenge you in the comments.
This may have been fine 10 years ago. Maybe women were more bothered by it then, maybe they weren't, but what was definitely different was the consequences and perception that came with it. Once upon a time when finding someone you like and approaching them you might stumble, but you got back up and stayed on track. Nowadays it's a minefield full of punji sticks.
Yeah. You'll also get insecure girls asking questions on here complaining how guys never approach them as someone else pointed out. I'm interested in the logic behind why some would consider it to be sexual harassment.
Well it's not logical. It's about their feelings. If they feel uncomfortable toward you then there's plenty of women that will consider that your responsibility to stop them from feeling that way. So if you want reasons then I'd say it's because of attitudes toward men as having hyper-agency, attitudes of women toward themselves as having hypo-agency and then their overactive theory of mind... if you ask me.
When street canvassers approach me I feel harrassed and I can understand women feeling harrassed if they r not interested in the advance. .
However I kno they r just trying to make a living, and guys are just trying to make a girlfriend. So I am never upset or pushy about it and I take rejections with a smile and laugh at the failures. But I'm not gonna walk around like a scared little bitch. because approaching girls works for me and dating apps are usually a much bigger waste of time
Actually being called out like a stalker or sexually harassing is the reason why don't approach women..
No thank you..
I am in a happy relationship with my right hand.. 🖐️😊😊
Same
If you don't want to get in a car accident, don't drive.
If you don't want a sexual harassment claim from a female, men, don't have anything to do with any female.
Agreed. As long as you're not pushy or get all butt-hurt with rejection, it really shouldn't be an issue. Like you said, the key word is RESPECT, regardless of gender.
If you gouo to someone and compliment them on things they can control (like a shirt for instance) it's fine. Literally nobody's stopping anyone from approaching women, that's never been banned. Just don't be a jackanape and don't fucking follow us.
You can't stop me
In the literal sense. No. But if I spot anyone trying anything they're going to be obliterated
I was never seen following that girl down the hallways cos it was late in afternoon and most people in college had left lol
I always thought some women are exageratting. Yes, you can say "hi" to a girl and strike a conversation. Harassment starts when she says or shows she is not interested.
This woman thinks saying hello is sexual harassment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdPblCjiQNo
@Lloyd1985 Laughed so hard at this video lol
@Lloyd1985 she is crazy.
I’ve seen this way too much. If you have a boyfriend, we don’t know, if you think complimenting you is harassment, I suggest not dressing nicely or taking care of yourself because you don’t appreaciate us noticing it. Now if you do go up to a woman and say you’re sexy and start touching her up then that’s harrasment and he needs to seek help with that.
For us ugly guys, there is NO DIFFERENCE between catcalling and approaching. Saying "hello" is considering catcalling in our cases.
I'm not interested in what people might 'think' something is though dude, I'm interested in the facts. If you say hello and they act hostile towards you because they find you 'ugly', they're the one with the issues, not you.
You shouldn't have to write this, it's common sense
I know. It's common sense to us, unfortunately not to many others. You can have a look through the comments left here to see that.
Their opinions don't matter because anyone with a functioning brain knows they're wrong.
Their opinion definitely does matter when they're going around accusing someone of sexual harassment, people don't ignore it then, so I'm not going to ignore it now.
@Rangers sorry, but common sense is uncommon in today's world.