Happily married, full of lust

[Anonymous]

I am happily married, about to celebrate my 3rd anniversary actually. I am SO in love with my husband and could not ask for anything more. Not trying to be that girl, but I honestly don't think another man could ever treat me any better and the sex is phenomenal. Like best of my life hands down. I would never want to be with anyone else ever.

And yet I catch myself lusting after other men. Anywhere from his friends to strangers on the streets. I literally fantasize about being with other men daily. If I see an attractive guy I automatically make sure I look good and hide my left hand (wedding ring). When they talk to me I keep it going as long as possible and then when they make their interest obvious I flash my wedding ring in their face and apologize for giving them the wrong opinion. And then I walk away feeling acomplished. But to make it worse, I always tell my husband about it (omitting certain details of course)

I would NEVER cheat and I know this because I almost did once and right before anything happened I told him everything and walked away. That's when I figured out I just have this compulsive obsession with positive male attention.

I almost hate myself for it. It makes me feel dirty and like a horrible person. I constantly trying to change that part of me but just catch myself doing it again next chance I get. I have literally the perfect husband. I could NEVER ask for anyone better and wouldn't want to be with anyone else. But I want other men to want me. I fantasize about being with other men but could never go through with it. I go as far as bragging about my great qualities to his friends just so they will tell us both that I am the perfect girl (they all have). At his work Christmas party (at a hotel) I got up in the middle of the night to smoke and ran into one of his co workers and we ended up having a few more drinks together. I caught myself hoping he'd try to kiss me and imagined taking him to bed and when he leaned in for a kiss I slapped him.

I guess I'm just posting this because I have to vent to someone. I don't believe in confession, and though I pray about it constantly (yes, I am a Christian and yes, I realize it's adultry along with other sins) I need human feedback on this. There is no one I can go to IRL. I need help, I am a horrible person and I know it. I'm not afraid of backlash so don't be scared to hurt my feelings.

[Hal2002]

When you can lie to yourself like that, you have life by the balls because you live in a rose colored world of you own making.

Your in love, happy, some is giving you everything you desire and having the best sex of your life. But you lust after every good looking man you see, every hubby's friends and family are not off limits. You hide your ring when flirting with other men, and try to make an encounter last as long as possible.

Seems like the seven year itch has struck after only three, with you. You are the woman in the joke, about having found the so called perfect husband but still wants more.

I really feel sorry for your poor husband, because the one time he fails at anything, that will be all the excuse you will need to cheat on him.

I was once told by a woman that she wanted four animals in her life, a jaguar in the driveway, a mink on her back, a tiger in her bed and a jackass to pay for it all. You lusting after ever attractive man you see, says he is not the tiger in your bed. He is certainly not a car or a coat, so that leave only the role of jackass that is paying for your good time.

[DaddyRollingStone]

Brutal reply. I like it.

[Poppykate]

You have a problem that will ruin your marriage. SEEK THERAPY! If you want to add spice to your married life- role play!. Dress up, meet in a bar, and pretend you and your husband are strangers! And he needs to attract your attention. Have sex with him with masks on.

[JohnBhoy94]

I know what's going to happen:

At some point your current husband will bore you... you'll want more than he can offer... so instead of breaking it off completely, you'll go find one of these other men who can "satisfy your needs". You'll continue to be with your husband because you love attention and want to continue having it.

You'll keep cheating at every occasion you and your husband have a falling out, or you're bored... until he catches you and throws you to the gutter like an old, rancid towel...

I really, really hope he dumps your ass ASAP... no guy deserves a wench like you.

[LostSouledGirl]

You're not a horrible person, we all have our negative sides. But you only feel good when you receive positive, or excessive attention from other males, which might lead to a lot of problems later on. This time you held yourself back, but next time you never know what happens. Try to indulge in good activities, find interesting things to do and spend time with YOURSELF, find out what you're missing in your life that is leading you to commit such acts. I mean, try to be fair, would you like it if your husband did the same? No, I don't think so. So, just try to fill in the blanks in your life or your personality, so you won't have to need anyone's attention. Good luck and God bless :)

[genuinlysensitive]

There is a difference between appreciating other people who are attractive, and acting on it.

"At his work Christmas party (at a hotel) I got up in the middle of the night to smoke and ran into one of his co workers and we ended up having a few more drinks together. I caught myself hoping he'd try to kiss me and imagined taking him to bed"

" If I see an attractive guy I automatically make sure I look good and hide my left hand (wedding ring). When they talk to me I keep it going as long as possible"

The way I see it there are 2 possible causes:

1. You really really really don't love your husband and want to simply sleep around with as many other men as you can, without thinking about it.

2. As you said it, possibly some kind of OCD or other kind of anxiety. Have you tried talking to a therapist about this?

[noneoftheabove]

I think some people have been a bit harsh towards the take owner. However, i want to turn this on its head, how would you feel if your husband was exactly the same but lusted after all these women?

if im honest id say something is missing from your marriage Or you're missing the freedom being single brought.. id say its a phase and itll pass.

[DessieDoo]

The need to feel wanted or desired by other men while being married and/or in a relationship is normal. However, I think you're getting way too close to acting upon your urges. Go seek professional help. A councillor of some sort who cannot speak of your conversations with anyone else. Confide in them and lay everything on the table.

[ThinkingHead]

There is nothing wrong with longing to be desired. It doesn't mean that you act on urges, but the urge is real. You cannot deny it. If I see a pretty girl at a stoplight, I'll smile to let her know I noticed her. I don't know if she's married or not... it could be you! But it doesn't mean that I'm going to mount you and father your children. Now the late night kiss, that urge was fueled by the drinks, I would guess...

[SavageNick87]

I believe it. I think its just how human beings are. Out of the girls I see Id say 40% have a boyfriend. If ur in a relationship u wanna be free and when ur single u wanna be in love. Im good with being single cuz I know I dont like being tied down to 1 person

[red324]

Don't waste a guys time like that... That pisses me off when I'm chatting up the cute girl at academy for 10 minutes only for her to say oh I have a boyfriend afterwards. Really? Like I'm randomly talking to you out of know where cause I have no life? You just look stupid when you do that. Tell your husband to divorce you while you're at it. He will be better off in the long run.

[Anonymous]

All people are insecure and especially men when it comes to asking women out, some guys hide it and just act like they don't have to ask girls out, they like to play hard to get to and lead girls on to get the girls to ask them out. It takes a lot of courage for a man to ask a girl out because of fear of rejection. The guys who ask you out that have been led on are really sensitive emotionally are looking for a good relationship. If you lees them on like that you are hurting an individual who is looking for someone to have a relationship with, if you hurt them, it's less likely these guys will be willing to face their fear and run from that which hurts them.

[Watermelonoma]

yeah this isn't right. One day, you're flirtations will cause you to mess up on a day when you are quite weak. All it takes is one little fight with your husband, and you'll probably be all over some other guy. You're a liability man...

[genuinlysensitive]

Yea I've known women like that, then its always justified because of what their man did...

[jacquesvol]

They're often justified to complain: www.huffingtonpost.com/.../...-scoo_b_6857996.html

[Watermelonoma]

@jacquesvol

that was an interesting read =) thanks Jacq

[irishkev]

well, thats not really fair on your husband. imagine if he was doing the same or thinkin the same as you are. i admit i often think and play along also but i could never bring myself to cheat. and u should go to IRL :) visit cork lol

[Bonnie12I27I12]

you want to be wanted. you should see a therapist because i promise you that this issue will be the thing that ends your marriage

[aadigeog]

It is okay to fantasize but trying to woo other men is just too much for a married woman. I would suggest you stop this behavior or else you might lose your loving and caring husband one day.

[DaddyRollingStone]

Basically OP is a tease and will eventually have an affair on her husband. Maybe if you're lucky your story will be posted to huffington post.

[RainbowPoop]

When you fantasize about other men, try thinking about how great your thing was with your husband. That usually works for my uncle

[The_Lone_Ranger]

Communicate with husband on you needs. It is his job to to satisfy those needs. It is hard to want other men if yours is doing his job well.

[jacquesvol]

You're not a horrible person. You're feeling insecure and you want affirmation about your desirability as a woman. Would you perhaps feel those dreaded thirties near?

[therussianconcussion]

jesus christ i hope i never marry a female like you.
but good luck

[abundantlyrich]

Why did you even get married? because of society and religion?

[nicnat9]

We are still animals, really. Society tells us one partner is all we are allowed to have when our primal instincts are to look for a mate and multiply. Try as we might, looking elsewhere is in our DNA.