Has anyone ever made your jaw drop? Why?

[Anonymous]

Has anyone ever made your jaw drop before? What made it happen and what were you thinking?

This one guy dropped his jaw around me about three times now. He did this when we really didn't know each other.

I just made eye contact with him and he did that. The first time we held eye contact for a really long time and his jaw dropped open all the way.

The other times I just looked in his direction and he dropped his jaw instantly and broke eye contact quickly.

What should I make of this behavior? No other guy has done that around me.

[godfatherfan]

once. I came around the corner at a job I had. I saw her at the counter of one of the secretary's. OMG. I just stopped in my tracks and literally my mouth was open. I had such a huge crush on her. I found a way to say hello to her and i would go and talk to her when I could. I was married so I was unable to even try to do anything. She was SO far out of my league it is not like there was a chance something could have happened though. But I even wrote out this long letter saying I was a secret admirer er and how amazingly beautiful she was etc... I put it in her mailbox at work. then I went and got it back out. I did that like a dozen times before eventually just tossing it out. I finally got myself to snap out of it. but holly god was she gorgeous. just honestly physically perfect in every way. she had green eyes, sandy blonde long hair, just the perfect size breasts, an ass that was perfect. she was the perfect height for me, around 5'8 give. amazing.

[godfatherfan]

Italians call it 'the thunderbolt'

[Asker]

interesting! do you think it is something that likely happens when a guy finds a girl really attractive then?

the guy in question has done that but hasn't shown additional signs of interest though. He has a habit of smiling randomly when we talk but that's about it. Just wondering if I could take it as an indicator of attraction, but I know he isn't actually interested in me.

[godfatherfan]

It definitely means he finds you attractive. And guys are pretty good at hiding the other stuff from women if we feel we need to. If he doesn't think you would be receptive to him opening up to you he won't risk it. Like I said, with (melissa) I still remember her name, if I had not been married I still would never have done anything about it. She was SO unbelievably beautiful and so very much out of my league there is no way she was going to go out with me. It is more likely she would have simply laughed at me had I asked her out. So no guy is going to risk that. Then you picture her at the bar later with her friends and they are all laughing at you. no way.
Are you interested in the guy? You may have seen my advice in other posts. Write all your contact info on a piece of paper. fold it up. walk up to him, hand him the paper. look him in the eyes and say "I hope I hear from you.." and walk away. it works, I have had a few ladies thank me.

[Asker]

I was interested in him, but he did not give me anything in return. He just basically wouldn't reciprocate when I tried to get closer.

He would be fine with small talk and that stuff, but if I would try to spend time with him or go out of my way to get to know him he doesn't reciprocate much. Those are clear signs of lack of interest in my opinion!

I also feel I have made my interest obvious in him, so he has no reason to fear rejection. I told him I would like to spend time with him and he never took that anywhere. I don't know how I can be more obvious than that, especially because I am a shy girl.

[Asker]

Because he isn't interested, there really isn't any alternative for why this could happen?

I just find the concept of a jaw drop to be really interesting and I'm curious why it could happen

[Neurath]

It's called the deer in headlights expression and I used to activate it on a girl all the time when I was younger.

It usually happens when a Shy person is unexpectedly caught by the emotional turmoil of seeing someone attractive. Their nervous system goes haywire and it's like they are caught between screaming/running away. Shy people tend to glance and look away quickly so if you catch them off guard their mind goes blank and they lose the ability to process anything at all. It's like they are in a trance.

Locking eyes with them while they are in such a state is extremely powerful. The most important thing if you like them/want them though is to not tease them about it. Act like it hasn't happened. It is a strong indication of a person being touched at a very deep emotional level by another person, for better or worse.

[Asker]

Do you feel that him doing that would make him prefer to avoid eye contact with me?

He's gotten better but he still avoids eye contact a little when we talk. He seems to have a hard time maintaining proper eye contact with me. He smiles though when he does this so I don't think it's like he doesn't want to talk to me.

I have definitely noticed he stares in a trance like state sometimes. It's only happened twice but it's pretty distinctive I think. And not typical

[Neurath]

Maintaining eye contact when you talk is a different sphere of interaction. That's his interpersonal skills that are coming to the fore and is a different beast to tame for a shy person.

The trances and deer in headlights will only occur when he is surprised by you.

Just keep helping him become comfortable and eventually things will get easier for him.

[Asker]

Hmm okay. He's not a shy guy exactly though. He doesn't act this way with other people. He seems pretty comfortable talking to other people- he will make eye contact and smile and laugh and all that.

I just think he talks to me differently. Why do you think that is the case?

[Neurath]

You must be beautiful or very popular. He is definitely taking on the submissive role to your dominant stance. It can be for many reasons but I suspect it is down to your beauty or physical attributes. He isn't sure of himself around you which is manifesting as shyness.

[Asker]

I'm not dominant at all! I'm quite shy! I've acted incredibly shy around him out of nervousness

[Neurath]

Ah I see...basically what is happening is this:

You're shy which is rubbing off on him so he's acting shy. He isn't sure whether you appreciate him being shy or whether you prefer him being his usual self so he is going at your pace to keep you comfortable. In effect he is mirroring you which is a dark art of seduction technique (not that he's doing it on purpose, his mirror sounds natural not pre-planned due to the deer in the headlights previously seen).

So in effect you're both nervous around each other and he's unsure of what is going on and you're unsure of what is going on. So eventually someone will make a stronger move, his natural confidence will resurface and it should be plain sailing from there on in.

[Neurath]

It sounds like the deer in the headlights is because if you're usually shy he was shocked to see you looking at him. Of course I am going by what little we've discussed here and nothing I have witnessed between you two...

[Asker]

Interesting. I don't get why me looking at him is so shocking to him though. Because every time this happened we were about to talk. I just looked at him and said hi! And the first time he initiated a conversation

[Asker]

The weird thing is I have tried making stronger moves, like suggesting we hang out. I've also tried messaging him online to get to know him better. But he doesn't reciprocate really. So I don't think he does that deer in headlights thing because he thinks I'm pretty

[Neurath]

I can't be specific because 'DitH' is due to surprise, panic, anxiety, attraction - basically anything with high sympathetic nervous system arousal. It is a spectral analysis I am doing without witnessing the phenomenon :)

What did/does he say when you ask to hang out?

Texting/Internet chatting should be a last resort. One of my female friends texts her boyfriend all day and then when we all meet up they have nothing to say to each other. It's sad really.

[Asker]

He smiled and said definitely but didn't go anywhere else with it. I only tried chatting because I wasn't seeing him much in person.

He completely ignored my first message for a month. I tried again because I actually had to ask him something and he brought it up and said he didn't see it and was sorry for not getting back to me. He talked to me for a bit but he didn't keep it going really

[Neurath]

Are you only interested in this guy? Are you sure he is right for you? How old is he?

[Asker]

He's 22. He's the only guy I'm interested in right now. I'm not sure he's perfect for me but he has a lot of qualities in common with me, which I like

[Neurath]

I don't think he's keen right now...you could keep working on him though. Really as a shy girl you should have a guy working to get you not you working to get them. Still, it's an equal world and you should always go for what you want.

My concern is that he might not no how to tell you he's not interested so he 'puts up with stuff'. I can obviously be wrong but its the way his actions are coming across to me. Usually a man will make time to talk to a woman if he wants her. Even if it is only brief messages. His actions sound like a man not sure what to do in this situation...

Maybe bite the bullet and ask him straight up if he wants/likes you?

[Asker]

Yeah I honestly don't think he's interested either. Otherwise he would have made time for me. I think he's just trying to be nice.

I was thinking that maybe he could have found me to be cute but isn't actually interested in a relationship with me? I don't know if that's even possible.

I basically asked this question to make myself feel better. I interpreted his deer in headlights as him being attracted to me and I wanted to see if I was right, or just crazy.

I know he's not interested, but I will feel better if he was at least attracted to me. Then I won't feel as stupid if that makes sense

[Neurath]

You're not stupid. You're not the one trying to avoid the issue and bury their head in the sand. I can't comment on the beauty part obviously, and it's not bad to be a little crazy. A lot of fun can be had

[Asker]

Thanks. I just feel dumb for letting something so little make me think he liked me if that makes sense.

It's also really hard for me to put myself out there so it's especially hard when I get rejected

[Neurath]

You're not being rejected, we're rejecting him. You're free now, enjoy it :)

[Asker]

Lol that's an interesting take on it. I don't get how I'm rejecting him because I'm the one showing interest and he is the one not reciprocating haha

[Neurath]

Because some people like to be pursued and to waste other people's time but we aren't playing that game any more. You're withdrawing your affection. So you are rejecting him. Trust the logic, it works.

[Asker]

Thank you! I'll try thinking of it that way. Makes me feel a lot better about myself

[chinkgirly]

Ummmm... I personally think that's kind of weird... But anyway, in my mind yes, I've seen hot guys that made my jaw drop. But I wouldn't want anyone to see me like that. I mean, if you see any person with their mouth open... they look kinda dumb... no offense :/

[lumos]

Yes, but not because of physical attraction. More because of a special talent. My jaw always drops when I watch good magicians. :D
Anyway, just take it as a compliment.

[Anonymous]

Yep. I was set up on a blind date in high school. This was when some girls were developed and others still in the process. Anyways the girl I was introduced to had the biggest breasts I'd even seen that close. When I saw her my jaw dropped. She actually got very upset and our date didn't go well.

That's the only time I can think that has happened to me.

[willshere]

Almost every girl that ever took her shirt off in front of me

[GoldCobra]

Yeah it happens from time to time. Happened today this morning when I saw this one girl