I have a good guy but I don't feel spark anymore?

[Anonymous]

Last year I moved into the guest room and slept there from November until February. In January I told him that I did not feel like this was working out but he wouldn't let me go. He tried very hard to do everything to keep me and said he would not stop trying until I left. He is very nice, loves me very much but I feel like the only time he comes around (meaning the only time he touches me) is when he wants sex. We can go days without any sort of affection and when I ask him for his attention his excuse is usually "I just want to relax" or "I am tired". We have been together for 8 years (living together for 6) and he is a great guy but I just don't have romantic feelings for him anymore. Sex is dreadful and I just don't want him to touch me anymore since I know that its only because he wants sex.

He really is good to me and he takes care of me but sometimes I look at him and I just hate him because he would not let me go. We met when we were really young (I was 20) and I feel like I have not had a chance to live on my own since I moved right in with him from my parent's house. Am I being stupid? Should I just get over myself? Is it normal to feel this way? I wish I could be happy with him, everyone loves him and say that we are exactly alike and I am pretty sure I will not find a guy as good as him but how can I make myself feel "it" again? Actually I don't know that I have ever had this overwhelming feeling of being in love... is that normal?

I have this nagging feeling of wanting to leave. Its all I can think about this week but I am afraid that I will be making a mistake.

[Anonymous]

the dynamic of every relationship changes over time, and this should be expected. no, you're not wrong for feeling like you want to leave - if you feel dissatisfied, it's only natural that you would feel that way. what's more important is that when you both get into ruts of boredom or feeling alone (partners can feel alone even in the best relationships), that you communicate that. there's no reason to feel guilty because you're both responsible for the direction that the relationship is going in. you may feel like you lost yourself by going directly from under your parents' wings to his, but it was your choice. you CHOSE to make a life with this guy, and based on the amount of years you've been together, I'd say he's not just in it for the sex. if you need more physical affection, say so. it's okay to try and get objective views from others, but if it's the relationship that you want to fix, you need to turn to your partner so that you can rebuild emotional intimacy. if not, you may start seeking it in others and end up cheating and hurting him worse...

[BirdofParadise]

It sounds to me you are only with him because everyone else thinks he is right for you... but if you don't feel that way you are just lying to yourself and him by sticking with him. If you don't want to be him, leave him. You deserve to be with someone you are over the moon for, and he deserves someone who feels as strongly for him, as he does for them.

[enlightenment]

won't let you leave? Please explain...because he can't make you stay.

[sachin007]

If you think the problem is such diversed...then you must talk over it and sort out!

Situation is critical,decision made once for leaving...might not bring you back if wrong...

Thnx