I don't feel passion for my boyfriend anymore?

[helpha]

Weve been together for about a year and recently I don't want to kiss him, he remarks how little we have sex, and I get annoyed at tiny things that he does for no reason. Some days it's like this and other days I'm in love and perfectly happy. He's my first REAL longterm relationship and lately we are in a dry spot, where our work schedules are compeletely off and Ill get off too late to want to have sex. He's also sort of let himself go and let me see the real him - every time I see him he's in his bathrobe before bed, sometimes forgets to brush his teeth, eats Arbys and completely stopped working out (he was very buff this summer).

I don't want to feel this way and I don't know how to fix it. When he cuddles with me, he clings to me in a weird way that isn't manly, he NEVER really looks me in the eyes and is TRULY serious and passionate with me, so I end up feeling disconnected from him. I still enjoy seeing him, want to tell him everything, miss him, etc, but I'm sick of feeling NO PASSION around him. But I do love him and he loves me very much.

My last relationship was also abusive and intensely passionate/clingy in a romantic way, so a healthy longterm relationship is something that I'm very new to.

[BigPunny]

I responded to your other questions, but I feel like I should add to those other responses with this: if you don't like the 'real him', then there's no amount of trying that will change that.

Living with someone and seeing them for who they ACTUALLY are is miles apart from dating, courting, etc.

People only show us the parts of them they WANT us to see, but when you begin living together or seeing each other on a daily, the real 'them' comes out and sometimes that picture is downright disturbing.

To play off of my other posts - you take the good with the bad. If you love and trust him, then let him wear his robe. If you love how he makes you feel most of the time, then don't worry too much about him forgetting to brush his teeth. No one is perfect. We are all flawed.

You use the words "NO PASSION", but what do you really expect? Do you expect that your knees will be weak every time you see him? Will there be a fire burning inside of you every time you smell his clothes? Will there be a need for him every time he speaks?

No, no, no, and no. That's not a constant and the passion will change. From all that I've read you likely are dwelling on your fantasy of a relationship, which causes you to question your OWN love based on the fact that when you two are together, you aren't feeling what you felt the first time and for for the first year together.

But nothing is ever unicorns and rainbows all the time. Roses have thorns. Every beauty also has its ugliness, depending on your perspective. Don't rush yourself, don't dwell too much, and focus on whether you love, trust, and respect this man - not whether you feel fire burning in your loins the moment he graces you with his presence.

I really hope this helps. Good luck to you both!

Oh, and again, if you really are just not 'in it' anymore, there's no shame in that. Don't force yourself to love someone if you really just aren't into it. You should still feel SOMETHING for him, but you aren't ALWAYS going to be head over heels, burning with passion. . . that's the point I'm trying to make. But at the end of the day, you have to do what you feel is best for you.

[Krillanr]

Don't mind me if I'm not readin this right, but it sounds like you would prefer the excitement of dating new guys to settling down and loving one.

He seems comfortable around ya, he should try to look decent though. But after ya live together for a while most people do relax a fair bit with each other.

It becomes more about living for one another rather than trying to impress one another.

[TheWorldEndsWithYou]

You can love someone very much but if the feeling or spark isn't there or lost; maybe it's time to reassess your relationship

[tony72722]

Time to end it OP. Boyfriend is acting beta

[front2back]

Says the biggest beta on here! XD

[tony72722]

Come at me bro

[ArtDent]

Welp, time to move on to the next one.

[orphan]

that sucks.