Flirting but 'just friends'?

[Anonymous]

i asked a chick out, got an 'i just don't see us being more than friends right now' line and at first wanted to go no contact but I decided to just man up and stay her friend because she's actually pretty cool to hang with and thinking maybe there's some crazy chance to turn it around. we started hanging out again, sometimes alone sometimes with friends, it got comfortable again quick, like I never even happend no awkwardness.

the last few times weve hung out she's started to become more flirty; good eye contact, we tease each other, she thinks I'm hilarious, were both physical (she touches my arms often), she often puts her body very close to mine and we have fun together. she also is the one texting me to hang out (I don't text her to hang out, I let her) and we do like twice a week or so. all that flirting is good an all but shell also mention if a guy looks cute or shell talk about this guy she wants to hook up with but not date at least.

i figured the increased flirting might be a good sign because I started caring less about trying to get her but she still talks about other dudes. its messing with me because on one hand I really like this girl and we get along really well (aqurious and sag lol) and the increased flirting is confusing but on the other I hate being good friends with this girl and being around her hoping things will change. anyone have some insight here? flirting and eagerly wants to hang out but talks about other guys sometimes?

[Anonymous]

I have plenty of guy mates.. one in particular that I hang out with a lot.. even thou I am dating someone else, and he has a girlfriend. I would have never considered dating him before but if I had the chance again and both of us were single I would! We've become a lot closer and I kno how special and amazing he is to me and in general. however at this moment in time I kno he is very happy with his girlfriend, and I don't kno unlike the girl in your story whether he ever felt the same.

he never told me as such, and I never gave him the lets just be friends line.. but he was very flirty until he met his new girlfriend.

so althou slightly different, it is possible this girl could have feelings for you and see you different to what she did before. However I think don't push physically because a good friendship shouldn't be ruined. Speak to her! girls are good talkers... they don't mind talking about anything.. unlike you guys!

the fact she talks about other guys isn't a biggy in my eyes... as a friend this is normal and also girls sometimes use this as a technique to flirt or see your reaction... play on it! if she mentions a guy is fit... say yerrr but not as fit as me.. or say he won't be treat you like I do... she might think its a bit cheesy but cute.. it will also tell her in a hinted way that you still feel something for her.

hope this helps x

[Asker]

very insightful thank you for a female's opinion! I don't know if id ever want to really bring it up again right now becuase that could turn awkward in a way and I figured if she changes her mind she can speak up this time. il keep what you said in mind and just go with the flow I think

[Anonymous]

Sigh. It's at a point where you REALLY man up. Just kiss her and see what happens. Either she likes it or she starts telling you she wasn't flirting, blah blah.

NOTE: Friends DO look each other in the eye, they DO tend to be touchy-feely, and they DO tease each other. There's a chance your feelings for this girl are clouding your judgement. Just thought I'd let you know. :-)

[cutebubble]

i have a dude (guy friend) who talks about girls he would hook up with WHILE I'M IN HIS BED. How bad is that? Some people are like that, mayb they are horny or polyamorous. Makes me want to throw up. I think she still thinks of you as a friend

[neberle]

sometime when the moment is right take both her hands if she holds them with her own mustle then she is not interested if she lets them drop into your support she is. If she is interested just sway a little bit and let the conversation lul off as you get a little closer. She will know what is coming and if she doesn't stop you then man up and kiss her. If she does stop you it can be blown off like nothing cause it was a "moment" and there are no words to attach to it.

[Gregs]

Why is your idea of manning up is to stay friends with her? My idea of manning up is to move on on my own, anyway, read a couple of stories in my profile about "lets just be friends" and "how to know you are in the friends zone" then get back to me

[Asker]

freshmen year at college, figured id keep a few decently chill buddies around you kno

[Asker]

the LJBF article was pretty eye opening, its hard to believe that's their thought process but I wouldn't put it past girls, knowing their need for constant ego boosting. how have you handled this situation? just no contact her or just make excuses not to hang out? the occasional get together to smoke some free bud is sweet but I don't know if it out weighs the wasting of my time, friendship, and sanity

[Gregs]

I would do is stay friends with her and date all her hot friends, going out somewhere and having a girl next to you is great for picking up other girls because it shows women that you are "safe", take her to a coffee shop and when you see a cute girl you like say "excuse me" and go have a chat, you will notice how much easier it is to open a girl when you have a girl sitting at your table

[Asker]

yea that's another good option. should I start responding to flirting more coldly or just keep gaming for practice?

[Gregs]

practice your gaming on other girls, I doubt you need any more practice in being a nice guy friend trying to hook up with a girl, but you probably need practice in cold approaching other women

[Anonymous]

She likes the attention maybe she will change her mind if the emotinal attraction increases and she realizes she actually likes you in that way... or she could be stringing you along, she likes the attention and flirting etc...

[Asker]

yea I'm afraid of getting strung along because thatd be messed up thing to do as a friend, id have to drop her if she was pulling that

[Anonymous]

If she was really into you she would not have rejected you. She is playing you, she likes the attention and flirting etc...

[Asker]

albeit I did ask her the first time after only a month, I'm confident you are right I've been ego feeding and now must figure out how I want to handle this 'friend' of mine

[Stevie]

Question, are there any guys in the picture that you think she might also be interested in?