Why are guys inconsistent in general?

[Anonymous]

They blow the hot and cold. One day so emotionally close and then the next day you never hear from him.

I'm talking about serious relationships by the way.

Please explain it to me & what should girls do? Should we just ignore and accept it?

[zeitgeist057]

I had the worst year of my life with a woman I was more in love with than any other before. I left for 3 months to Brazil and when I came back she wasn't there the same emotionally. I mean she was but she wasn't. I'm telling you this to start because I want you to know as a guy I felt SO very emotionally close to her but I was away from her so she thought I was distant and she got distant and it broke my heart. I held her in my heart every day I thought of her. So anyway not all guys are the same but just because he's not all over you may not mean he doesn't care.

[Asker]

I'm sorry for you but yeah we girls think when you guys are distant that you are off and it hurts us so much!

[brianccc]

Um definitely don't ignore it, I mean to deserve consistency. If it is a serious relationship tell him to be consistent. Smetimes as a guy it is a little hrd to be romantic at like 2 in the afternoon, bit if you can change the mood make him feel that way, it's not always his job you gotta carry some of the slack!

[Asker]

You are absolutely right! :)

[brianccc]

Hmmm best answer? I could use the xp...

[YobootyStank]

i think the guy is just plan not interested in you otherwise he would have put in much more effort into showing how he cares, his affection, liking you, talking to you etc. he could also be playing hard to get and guys who play games really aren't worth your time because that's really immature. but seriously just ignore those type of guys and don't stress it, don't make someone a priority if they only make you an option. don't accept that kind of behavior, find someone worth your time

[TinyThuy]

When guys tend to play hot and cold with a girl, in my opinion. He is unsure of the situation at the moment.. In your comments below.. Give him space and when you guys talking on the phone again, talk to him about him but don't push it if he strays away from the topic. He will open up to you when he feels the time is right for him.

[Asker]

Thanks :)

[TinyThuy]

I mean talk to him about it* Confront him about him being hot & cold with you. Long distance relationships can be very difficult to maintain. But if you two are willing to communicate and understand where ya'll stand together. I'm sure you'll be fine. :) Don't think too much.

[Asker]

Thinking too much...that's my problem.. :( Thanks girl :))

[dinosgorawr16]

i think that's just the 'guy gene' lol guys are just not as emotionally fit as girls :D

[Asker]

true yet frustrating to the girl!

[AverageJoe90]

Don’t expect to be lovey dovey 24/7 it would drive people insane. There are times when the other half is having a bad day so support is what they need rather than flirting. Just remember as much as we would like to be happy all day everyday people have their bad ones as well.

Relationships come with good and bad times, remember this well!

[Asker]

What kind of "support" do you expect? I love what you say but let me understand it more please :)

[AverageJoe90]

Hmmm , not sure I can explain it any better but I will try. Everyone has bad days yes? When you get back from work you just want to be alone and chill the hell out. Support would be understanding this and letting him/her have their chill time.

[Asker]

It means keep silent and away when you guys aren't in the love mood?

[AverageJoe90]

no no no, don’t misunderstand me. There are times when a man isn’t feeling %100 or in the industry we call it a ‘Grump’ and his or her mind maybe elsewhere ‘cussing their boss for being an ass for firing them’. Everyone can’t be on form every day, we are only human.

[Asker]

So when you're in such mood. What should I do to you?

[AverageJoe90]

Just be understanding, don’t get angry it makes the situation worse and end up saying things you don’t mean. Don’t get me wrong if he’s like it for more than like a day then have a chat and ask what’s up. Nothing can be that bad unless it’s a family grievance.

[Asker]

Thanks so much :))) you've really helped!

[AverageJoe90]

No worries, hope I helped. good luck! x

[Anonymous]

Because men are not emotional all the time. One day I might feel emotional and tell a woman things and the next day I don't need to be emotional because I already got that out of my system the day before and she already knows how I feel.

[Asker]

Exactly! sure we know & you know but women need to feel the connection all the time. Women are emotional. When a guy is distant it's not that we're insecure or we think he's cheating BUT we miss him and miss the love connection. What should a girl do in such situation? just ignore & you'll come back?

[Opinion Owner]

I think you are being too needy. If a man shares his emotions with you and is extra loving one day he feels even closer to you the next day even if he doesn't act the same as the day before. With men emotions are personal secrets we only share occasionally. If you demand your man constantly show his affection it will become fake.

[Asker]

Thanks for the explanation. So, you're saying if he doesn't show emotions or anything I just ignore & say nthn?

[Opinion Owner]

Don't just say nothing if you want to talk to him but don't take it badly if he doesn't talk as much as you think he should all the time. Men don't communicate in the same way women do.

[Asker]

Thanks :))

[adam_5567]

My pleasure to help :) A lot of guys are players now a days. I don't think you should accept it because not every guy is like that. I don't think you just ignore it either because some guys do deserve to get bitched out. I think the only thing you can do is to not give up and keep searching for the guy that won't leave you, no matter what.

[Asker]

You got me wrong here. It's serious and we're so much in love. But guys tend to be hot then cold at times. Get busy then come close then busy then...we girls can multi-task. While doing our job we can still text and call and say nice things. Weird really and very frustrating to the girl..

[adam_5567]

Maybe he's just stressed out. You two should take the weekend to do something fun and relaxing together. That would be a great time to talk things out and for you to figure out if there's anything bothering him.

[Asker]

We're 2 continents away :) yea, he's stressed out probably..

[adam_5567]

Well that makes more since lol