What makes good men undateable or boring?

[Anonymous]

this goes out to all the girls that are hot and know it. it really seems like you really can't help but fall for the bad boy trap. so what's the matter with the decent guys that always want to actually be with you, yet you reject? if were boring then what makes us boring? because if you knew at all who we were, you probably discover we love having fun and messing around to. but in a more put together fashion. why does a good man rarely ever end up dating a really beautiful woman?

[Kamilah]

Cuz 95% of girls nowadays are superficial & have no respect 4 themselves ! I totally understand where you're coming from but believe me not all hot girls are like that. I (and plenty of guys) consider myself 2 be a very attractive/sexy/beautiful girl but I also happen 2 have a brain, I am a determined person who doesn't fall 4 peer pressure ! That's what happen 2 girls nowadays 4 some reason they're total air heads & think that the more the go round the better their rap sheet will look. They also do it because of peer pressure & to be "cool"; which is total bull sh*t because I've been round guys all my life(d*** heads, nice guys, bad boys,etc) & they have all said horrible things bout all the sluts they slept with once they were through with them ! I personally rejected so many guys because they were all ass holes & were only interested in my looks that you have no idea, I still do & I'm a Junior in College lol (some guys just never grow up) honestly it bothered me a lot some times so I just ignored all of them & actually dated your average guy. I've never based a relationship because of looks (of course I gotta like the guy)but I'll say that's bout 40% the rest 60% based on solid things. All I can say is that,yes its true thatmost beautiful women are freaking cocky,air heads & superficial bitches but that's not true for all of us. There are some of us who actually don't think we're better than anyone else because of the way we look & have a brain & make decisions 4 ourselves :)

[Prof_Don]

You're cool girl in my book. 8-)

[Kamilah]

hahahhah thanks :)

[Anonymous]

Beautiful looks to you is confidence and power to a woman. You'd consider a gorgeous woman at the top of the dating scale. The best you can get and all men want it if they can get it. Women feel the same about confidence and power. So while you may meet a great, good girl who wants to be with you, you'll still pass her up if you're not attracted. The beautiful girls catch your attention. And while a girl may meet a great, good guy who wants to be with her, she'll pass him up if she's not attracted. The confident guys catch her attention. Basically, you're looking at it from the perspective in which you get a girl you're really attracted to, and the girl just picks the safe choice. If you want girls to do that, then I suggest you try going against your basic instincts of attraction and see how that goes. Try to not want beautiful women and go for average ones. Seem boring? BINGO!

[Asker]

well I know I'm confident, just not cocky. my job requires me to approach people and talk to them. I have great eye contact, speak confidently and such, but still I don't see many girls that seem all too interested in general. I'm at least semi above average looking lol so idk

[whoblitzell]

The issue here is women say they want a "confident" man. What they really mean is a man with a lot of friends that is outgoing and has social VALUE. In other words a man that dominates other men and is respected by other people.

The man's opinion of himself and his own abilities, lack of doubt in what he does and strength of moral character aren't considered by most women.

[Robertcw]

@whoblitzell That's deep and insightful.

[xochanelxo15]

i go for the guys who are wiling to prove tht they like me and are willing to do whatever it takes.the guys tht are shy/scared/scared/etc. I make sure they know their only gonna be in the friend zone.i go to the guys who end up breaking my heart > player type..i want a MAN. definition: someone that can support their girl(protect&provide).i don't speak for all girls, but its nice to know someone is going to be there for you and taking risks in your relationship.if you don't do that day one..its over !we(I) want the the good guys to step it up, so then I can acually have a reason to ditch my bad boys.its annoying; just be yourself, i(we) won't bite ;] ..if your descent looking with a great personality, and not getting any of the "hot" girls you want..its because you never showed your willing to take risk and prove to us your gonna be our #1 !

[mmike0]

when you say provide are you referring to financially? If so, why not be independent? Also what do you mean "taking risk?" talking risk with your heart at stake at does not sound logical? Lastly do you do any us this "proving" to guys?

[xochanelxo15]

well most guys I know they wanna be able to povide and protect.but this is more marriage or long distanace relationship..if she needs help or something financially.NOTHING LIKE A GOLD DIGGER ! I shouldn't of said provide...thats I think for later in life.i am independent...but its good knowing if something were to go wrong you have someone by your side to help you.trust me most woman are independent, even if their not they will show it.not life threatening risk ...! example: just doing something

[xochanelxo15]

idk if your still and school..but if a guy is making fun of your girlfriend or making her feel uncomfortable..if she can't do it ..you should step in and handle it.yes I do prove to guys that I'm worth it.depends on the guy though,if I liked him for awhile..i'll make sure I'm with him by doing whatever I can.its not that easy,but I have patience to strive for something I want.i can tell that I'm confusing you so just forget everything I had said.

[Jager66]

ya lets perpetuate unhealthy gender role stereotypes! why don't you go clean the bathroom and make some babies, then bring me my dinner.

[willytheg]

Too may answers that totally miss the point. There's very little black and white in life, just shades of gray. Look at it this way, when you were 8 years old, what did you want to be when you grew up? I doubt if it was an insurance salesman or a middle manager. You wanted to be some sort of cool duds who rode off into the sunset like Shane, Rick, in Casablanca, Bogie is anything, young Marlon Brando. Most of the women I know and most of the men are complex creatures who desire a nice place to live with the bills paid and a steady mate when they wake up. By mid afternoon, they are attracted to the class clown, by the time it's dark and they have loosened up, they want James Dean,the bass player in the band who shoots dope has a couple of bad habits that are easily overlooked at midnight and are far outweighed by his unkempt, tough aura (that he carefully cultivates because he knows it doubles the chances of getting laid).

Cultivate a wild side that doesn't conflict with the parts of your good boy persona that are worth holding onto. There are definitely women that are only attracted to you if you have some tats from prison and smacks her around every now and then. Especially if they had a dysfunctional home life that was similar to that. Complexity is more of an issue. A diet of white bread only isn't fun. Neither is a diet of french fries, They are both good at times

[Texan83]

Lot of women date assholes and they marry a good man. There are tons and tons of things to talk about here.

Girls want a guy that is unavailable has no time for them. Why? because girls are attracted to guys that put THEMSELVES first that is a Alpha male trait and one that you need to learn. Even if you are a nice guy don't go out of your way to hang out or see a girl. If you have other things to do DO THOSE the girl can wait.

Remember girls love to chase after guys. You have to make them work for your attention and time too. Don't just give her all your love and time without her putting in effort to earn it. You need to not focus on what to do to get girls you should focus more on what you should do to yourself to attract girls.

[Asker]

that's just what I don't get though. how are us good men marriage material, yet not dateable? it doesn't make sense. why doesn't a woman actually look straight away for a good man, date, then they're together and when the time comes, then settle down and get married, why not just find the right guy off the get go, stay commited, then marry? marryable lol yet at the same time, undateable? doesn't click in my brain. how could you NOT be dateable?

[Texan83]

You need to learn the rules of creating attraction. Right now you sound way too available. Girls don't want a guy that is ready to have a relationship with them from day one. They want a guy that they have to work for to give them their time. Girls don't know if a guy is a good man from looking at them. They are attracted to looks/personality/character make your life all about you and girls would want to be in them. Be passionate about your life not passionate about pleasing a woman.

[Imsodone101]

Good advice bro.

[jasminekaur]

hey... it's not like that. Look me and my girls like a guy if he's smart and good looking. The guy who is mature, intelligent and mysterious! A deadly killer. We don't fall for bad boys. But let me tell you, if you have a great personality, good dressing sense, manners like a gentlemen and at least average good looks, girls find you likeable and want to date you. That's how it is with us girls.

[maoriheart]

lol I've always considered a deadly killer a bad boy

[Asker]

^^lol I know right?

[alwaysyoungatheart]

because you guys arnt bold, fun I don't mean (take advantage of us) I don't like that player concept either but if I could find a good man that has a interesting personality too that's the best gold wonderful five star nothing wrong with it but you all are too nervous around us unplayful, queit usually shy :P turn off stuff whimpy bone up make a move be a man

[Asker]

i'd like to see you try and pursue someone that you have feelings for that you have no clue whether they actually care about you or not. its not that we're wimpy we just are humble and scared of losing something we know is great but something that you might not see in us. the funny thing is. all the "bold guys with great personalities" they all walk and talk the same to me. they all say and do the "in" things, all the "in" words and phrases and dress the "in" way. a shy guy will just be himself.

[mmike0]

I actually agree with the QA. One of my favorite quotes states" Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results

[alwaysyoungatheart]

we want adventure with you guys and fun its faggish to make all the fuc*king moves now days sey anything you want but I want my man to be a man so there it is if your not getting the girls attention probably because your a shy quiet humble.. ..boaring person... we don't like unsure insecure guys BIG TURN OFF DONT WANT EXCUSES I don't care what all you all wanna suger coat your personalitys guys already act boaring and quiet and distant enough why don't you just set there we'll tell you how 2 do everyhing

[Cyhhgg]

Cool. Meanwhile, I want a woman who knows how to read, spell and properly put sentences together. ;)

[Icedice]

I'm in the same boat man, in my case girls are intimidated and scared to approach me because of my looks...they think if your a good looking dude then you either taken or your a douch. A buddy of mine is average looking and pulls tail left and right, his secret...his naturally funny with confidence spewing all over, this guy can walk into a room full of chicks and make them laugh, leaving with all their numbers. So my conclusion that I made by observing him, is that you have to present your self with humor and confidence, keep the girl guessing if your into her or just teasing that will drive her insane to the point that she will need a constant dose of you to satisfy her desire...easier said and done I know.

[Asker]

much easier said then done lol. I have a friend like that too. I even heard one girl say that she thought he was ugly! haha, but he has girls begging to hang out with him, its kinda crazy.

i feel I'm a confident person, just more laid back and quiet. I have no trouble making people laugh or in holding a conversation, but I'm just not loud or like I don't say things to just say them. I think about my actions I guess.

[Icedice]

I'm exactly like that, I'm quiet and keep it to my self, I'll strike up a convo and joke around but I never go of the hook and start doing crazy sh*t just to be the center of attention...the friend I know does exact opposite this guy does some stupid but funny acts that crack everyone around him, even passing by stranger start laughing at his stuff, a natural alpha that dude...I have to much dignity and self value to pull the same stunts...you either have it or you dont

[Asker]

yeah exactly. or at least that's what most people feel an "alpha" is. I think a lot of people have it wrong personally.

i just don't see how having that dignity and valuing yourself can have such a negative outcome. I try to portray myself as a good example and I have morals and such, but it has the opposite effect of what I thought it would apparently. frustrating. like I thought that would be more attractive to girls than any careless loudmouth lol

[Icedice]

Girls want the guy to be an emotional roller-coaster ride, that they can go on over and over...for us nice guys, we're a fairy go-around to them, and who wants to go on that?

[Asker]

ohh I know, but still. I say it shouldn't be that way lol. if a girl wants to find herself a healthy relationship, she's gonna have to find a guy that, plain and simple, isn't an "emotional rollercoaster ride!" if a guy loves a girl, they wouldn't put them through extra drama/trouble/(whatever else it could be) like that anyway.

its just a stupid, superficial... I don't even know what it even is! ha ha but it sucks. so many girls pursue guys do anything but truly love them... they manipulate

[goodlittlechurchgirl]

Well in my opinion it's not that your boring it's just that we assume we know what you're going to be like whereas the bad boy is out of the ordinary and does things that are unusual. Personally I usually go for the good guys because the bad boys are just cocky assholes.

[darkknight1x]

What kind of things do they do that's out of the ordinary and unusual?

[Jager66]

whats really annoying is that most men are fun, confidant, with great personalities. we just lack confidence when approaching women so the women don't give us a chance and miss out. then they complain that no confident men approach them.

seriously women really need to wise up a bit, men of this generation have embraced your equality but you offer none in return, instead we get told to man up etc.. why is it acceptable to say that? its no different than telling a woman to go make babies.

[girloncue]

they're neediness to be in a relationship. it's a huge turn off.

the way they move SO SLOW...most girls would like to be kissed on the first date.

they are already in the friendzone because of their slow movement by the time they ask, usually.

[Asker]

how is putting off a kiss a bad thing? I suppose you want sex sometime in the first week then? what if the guy wants to wait or put off kissing and more intimate things until he actually has a chance to feel something real for you? and I'm pretty sure the neediness you're referring to is just loniness, wouldn't you feel lonely if you literally had no idea why the opposite sex won't seem to date you? we don't have girls approaching us and complimenting us everyday like girls get from guys.

[darkknight1x]

I don't understand why the neediness is a turnoff. They just really want to be loved because they know that its the best thing in the world.

[Cyhhgg]

@darkknight1x Do you even know what the word, "neediness" means?

Probably not. Because it definitely doesn't mean what you think it means. If it did, then you'd really know what neediness is and why its a huge fucking no-no.

[ingo11]

I don't want a bad guy. I want a guy who I can laugh with, have fun with, and actually TALK to. About things I feel strongly about, debating issues etc. I wanna be able to run around barefoot in town with them and not feel restrained or over-protected.

Girls just wanna have fun ;)

[Jager66]

thats all fine and well, the problem is everyone woman wants it from the exact same 1 man who they were told since child hood they were all entitled to get.

[cyrus7]

sadly, that's how it works and as stupid as ot is... its true...

which is why I say forget about women, because as soon as you don't care about them, they start running to u