Imagine your crush is antisocial. He or she is not much of a good conversationist, thinks days like Valentines are bullshit and marriage is overrated, pessimistic nature, hostile and impulsive (feel free to add on conditions, I'm tired and short on imaginationš)...
How do you make them yours?
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Thank you all for your mindblowing opinions!
About my friend's crush, I talked to him an hour ago when I LUCKILY bumped into him w his...
Girlfriend. Well he seems to treat her like trash, I told him about my friend. He labelled me as "good friend" and his girlfriend followed me on Insta. Anyway, so that's all😃
I have learned that the best way to deal with someone like that is to be as aggressive with them, as they are with you. There is a guy I work with whom I call "Homicide Rob." Rob is the kind of unpleasant that people write psych textbooks about. He and I get along swimmingly. The reason we get along is that one day I had unknowingly moved a cart of packages (we work at a shipping company) in the way of where he needed to drive. He drives up to the cart, and flips his shit on me because of where I put the cart. I told him "so quit [complaining] at me and move it."
Now Rob knows my first name, smiles joyfully when he sees me, and asks when I'm working again.
You read that correctly; I became friends with an antisocial prick by telling him to get bent.
Maybe you were able to succeed coz he lacked confidence and kind of 'gave in' to being your friend coz he felt threatened. Normally people who are innately anti-social don't get threatened so easily and trying to act all agressive with them will draw them away further. Just what I feel though.
By somewhat relating to them and convincing them that they aren't being what they are outta some overhyped teen shit or a wannabe nature with flawed logics 😄. That being done, actually making them see the brighter side and still enjoy the pessimism while slowly fading it away; convincing them to be a realist. And no lol, it isn't always so that an antisocial person is always a pessimist, I have been a person who's in between selective and anti social (more inclined to anti social) but my pessimism didn't last too long. Reality matters more 😄.
Damn, your crush sounds like me! Minus the hostile part: I'm just a meanass, lol
So speaking as an antisocial, the best way to win him over is find a common interest or hatred.
Trust me, if you can bring up a topic that interests them or they're passionate about, they will open up! And it will give you a chance to talk and get them to relax and show their true self. At least that's the best way my friends or past crushes got through me: we shared common interests: classes, fitness, games, hobbies, etc, and as we spoke more, I slowly opened up more to them... just be patient. It's not going to happen overnight.
Also antisocial people are wary to let others in, and easily disappointed. So they might be... overwhelming at times (just being honest to help you out).
I'm a little asocial too, I'm not mean ā just hostile maybe. And by the way this is my friend's problem. She's very shy to ask this question here. Me? well I don't give a F about what people would think of me
You don't. They have no desire to be involved with you in that way. And if they do especially with somebody that you're talkin about, sounds like he's the type of person that would just pump and dump and just leave. And then you really want to wish you didn't be so stupid. He's not interested in conversating with you. You didn't like Valentine's Day and I kind of stand up because Dad is not a good holiday to be celebrating. He doesn't want to get married, and it's very clear that the Hostile and impulsive behavior is another way of saying I don't like you. There is a reason why a person is antisocial. They hate having to socialize with people. And such people also includes you. It's just sounds like to me you just trying to change him, and you really need to stop. If you already talked to him and he has shot you down once , take it as a lesson to not bother him again. You can never make somebody yours if they did not or what he wanted to be yours.
And it takes a long time for me to even want to bother. I also consider valentines stupid and uncalled for and pretty much the same as he feels
Being a natural pessimist does that to you. But I can say when we do open up you are a shining star in our eyes. We will let you know right off the back
If we fight you. we probably don't feel the same as you do and we trying to let you know as nice in our mean ways as possible,
Im an anti social person (people say this) because i find most people boring, jealous, insecure and hypocrat. But the very few times I see people who are free and confident and even make a genuine attempt to be friends I feel high about that person. But when they call us for parties involving their other friends. i didn't like that.
by the way , ANTI - social , means you deliberately behave in a manner causing distress , harm or nuisance to others , you a referring to an A-social ( and cynical ) person. I am a bit asocial and on the cynical side and admit that , but more selectively social. However , truly hostile and impulsive people are best well avoided !! You will not be able to win them over , and a really negative person will drag you down with them... avoid !!
Not being a pompous twat either , to be fair everyone refers to asocial as anti-social. The reason I clearly know the difference is from helping enforce Anti Social Behaviour Orders , and sticking breachers before the next available court hearing. Your friend needs to drop this guy , he does actually sound anti , as well as a-social , bad news for her !!
his mom was my mom's friend, she'd even showed him to some therapist but she said that he's normal, he's bad childhood experience (his dad's dead š) so I think I'm a little empathetic to ignore when he blocked me on Instagram šš
You canāt win them over. Anti social people generally have some sort of personality disorder or mental illness. They often will become very clingy towards you and turn very manipulative after a while. And eventually, youāll become tired of their negativity towards everything. Itās not worth it and Iām speaking from personal experience.
study psychology, be very patient and understanding, lots of eye contact, slow speech, light touch. be there for them. they eventually will come out of their shells. Not demanding, but leading.
Just like them. See where it goes. Some are simply unfit to date. Don't get caught up in that. And girls really just like a challenge. It's the lost puppy dog rescue syndrome. Don't be THAT girl.
It won't matter to me if a girl is anti-social, nobody gets a perfect 10 in life and if she many qualities then she is the best girl for me on this planet
i know the heart just wants someone right now. that's no biggie, if they somewhat fit the bill, you can ignore what your head says... but if your head can clearly see that this won't work, fuck it. don't let your heart dictate you into this bullshit. it happened to me before as well. it's not good.
it's my friend's problem not mine. I clearly deal w no bullcrap. I know love is fucking retarded. But you can't change someone's nature and neither can you change feelings. Not all of us have good self control on emotions.
this is the answer. it's not your life, it's hers. let her make her decisions. this won't fuck up her life. she'll fall and she'll stand back up. that's how it goes. as a friend you're the one helping her back up. you can't stop her from falling.
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