For example, on the bus or in a train station. Maybe in the library, or a cafe/restaurant?
If you found a stranger attractive, would you make a move? Or would you just move on without acting on the attraction?
If you found a stranger attractive, would you make a move, or would you just move on without acting on the attraction?
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
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This is a really good question. A totally random stranger? Not a good idea. Not safe. Plus, usually good guys are taken by someone in their own circle. So there's probably sth wrong that he is left alone so that he needs to be open to or pursue total strangers. Because guys aren't usually too picky when it comes to girls. So I doubt he is still out there just because he couldn't find the girl of his dreams close to home. There are exceptions though. And of course a lot of things could be cultural. Bars for example in SoCal seem to be a valid place to find even life partners, let alone casual relationships. In some cultures the more serious the location, the more serious the potential relationship, like a library. And just FYI, I have always felt sorry for the guy who would hit and miss because I know rejection sucks. That's one reason why I felt annoyed by unwanted attention. It was never an ego boost. But once there was this guy at a work event from a foreign branch of the company. He was really hot. AND he was in to me. AND he said something, which I totally did not get because I was sooo nervous and I didn't even dream someone so hot would be in to ME. But I realized it later when the event was soon over and we were on our way home and regret hit me hard in the face. It still does every time I remember. I had zero self-esteem back then, and although I tried for relationships, I never thought anyone would ever see anything in me. I'm quite attractive as I found out much much later. And I figured out much later quite by chance why I might have been his type. I wish he had made a more clear move as apparently I responded positively to him. But maybe he had confidence or self-esteem issues too. I would have so said yes to anything, absolutely ANYTHING he would have suggested.
I'm so surprised that so many people wouldn't act on it! Mainly due to the fact that it's a stranger. I get asked out mainly by strangers on planes or in cafes, or sometimes walking around a mall. Maybe that's just my personal experience also due to the fact that I don't really know many guys. All the dates I've been on were men who came up to me in public. I even initiated the flirting with my current boyfriend when he sat next to me on a train.
99.9% of the time no, at least as of this moment. I would move on. Honestly I feel like the last thing someone needs is for me to hit on them when they're going on about their day.
Good luck hitting on someone on a bus. The way your being jostled you're more likely to punch them.
A train station? The absolute most romantic place to try out my worst pick up lines.
The Library? That's a sanctuary! This girl tried to hit on me in a Barnes & Nobles once, and I'll be honest I wasn't with it. (I was nice of course, we actually talked for like 20-30 min and she asked all of my faves and I gave her a list of recommendations. She was cool and Im obviously joking ^^^ I was just not in a good place/it was my birthday)
Cafe is the same as library
I don't think I've ever gone to a restaurant alone, so the prospect of me just walking up to someone elses table while everybody is looking at me is about the biggest dumbass thing I could do
Anyways in all seriousness, no. My aim in striking up a conversation with someone usually has no ulterior motive other than "I like you, let's be friends." I don't think I really lack the confidence, just the urge to make a move. I'm not looking for a relationship, so why would I? You know? I honestly feel my life is full enough most of the time anyways, so I don't think I'm missing out on much
I usually assume they're taken or busy if we are somewhere like a store or somewhere else. I actually am less likely to greet someone or say anything to them the more attractive they are. You can't embarrass yourself if you never put yourself in a position to be embarassed.
Depending on the proximity I end up near the person I may try a short smile or say excuse me as I move out of the way.
I guess my answer to your question is 'No' I have the opposite reaction to hot people. I find every excuse to not interact with them. Like they're a higher being.
I'm always finding stranger's attractive I never act on it because I don't like approaching women in their busy lives coming off as some type of creep saying excuse me I like your looks. You understand where I'm coming from. That's not my style to approach strangers. When I was a kid my older sister and older cousin would always complain about these guys approaching them they Would call them creeps and pigs. So I guess they brain washed me into believing let the woman have her own space and don't pursue them or I come off as some type of a creep. So I always backed off so I can be a respectful kind of a guy
100 % I would make a move , but I would always leave an " out " in case I were misreading the circumstance , never let what may be opportunity pass you by , you have just one crack at this. Met a delightful Asian lady on a plane one time and it went on to be an important relationship.
You want to be just stuck with the people you " know : in the physical? No Thankyou , always take a chance , and make your intention clear.
Just to take the revenge of my fear from past years, I would make a move no matter what is the outcome of it. If she is being positive, that's great that I have succeeded at it; if she is being receptive, it's also good, too. At least, I have tried my best. Either way, it's a win-win.
If the place isn't designed for casual chats with strangers, I wouldn't make a move. First off, I am very afraid of being seen as a creep. Second, I would want to have something to talk about, perhaps if she has a t-shirt with a band I like, or something.
I found a stranger attractive and did make a move... Monday will be our 2 year anniversary of dating. I actually had a boyfriend at the time, but there was just something about him. We instantly became best friends and talked every day; I was getting boyfriend advice from him (didn't realize he wanted to be my bf). We started dating a little over a month later and I have never been happier.
I usually do not talk to attractive guys, I find it hard to talk to a male I find immediately attractive. I have no problem talking to girls but as soon as I see a hot guy I can’t do it lmao. So unless the situation calls for it I’m not going to do it. Or unless he talks to me first
I’m shocked so many men would prefer to stay to themselves. Has things changed or have men always been to themselves? I figured men typically approach a woman they find attractive. That’s why beautiful women are never single. But yes, as a woman I would not make the first move.
Here’s the thing what I think and her perception are two different things. I could think she was this beautiful girl and would be really curious as to who she is like as a person. But when I approach her perception of me is probably creepy already cause I cold approached her because I have no affiliation or connection with her no mutual friends, not from a class, not from work. Secondly she is gonna judge you based on appearance.
They probably fear the woman might think they are creeps or desperate or not like being approached at places not expected. I know how to talk to a woman without being weird, because I'm not and I have respect and not some thirst caveman ha.
But despite that, I feel like a weirdo talking up a woman at say a grocery store who happens to shop next to me. Even if I'd simply ask a question about a food item or whatever. I just never know how women take cold approaches. I think it's obvious or should be like for dudes to not approach women at night or out on the street is not a good idea. Gyms are funny because women want to work out and get bothered or dudes leering at them. But I think perhaps guys can over think. For some reason I feel weird talking up a girl at a place not expected like I said. I don't feel that way if it's a bar because even though girls may not like the guys who approach them at bars, it's a place where people go to, to socialize. Whereas, a book store or typical shops are where people go to shop for things. So you don't see other dudes chatting up women at such stores, so it makes you wonder how you will be perceived in doing so. I think guys, I know I can over think though. As my buddy had me ask a waitress out before, whom I didn't really talk with much. I asked her out and gave he my number. Unfortunately she was with someone, but nothing bad came from it. I know she wasn't making it up because she texted me back soon after and she didn't need to do that. Just never texting would've been the sign she's not interested or with someone, but she made a point to let me know and apparently it made her day or flattered. Isn't it nice stroking people's egos when you don't get anything from it? ha (sarcasm).
It really depends on the circumstances in which I met her. Not every setting is appropriate to approach a woman. For example if I met her on the street and she looked like she was in a rush, or I was also in a rush, that is definitely not a good setting. The setting matters more than anything you can think of although some people will deny that.
I would never approach someone on public transport or in a restaurant. There is a very small chance that I might strike a casual conversation with someone in a lounging area of a hotel, university or a library. But I wouldn't do it because of their physical appearance, I would base my interest on the way they dress.
most my life I'd respond to it as stress... fight/flight/freeze. I did all of them in any attempt to escape the feelings of attraction. It's that internal voice that says I'm not good enough and there is something wrong with her if she shows interest. What a messed up programming I had. That lasted through 40ish.
Now, I'd engage, how far I go depends how I feel at that time.
This rarely happens IRL. I got asked out years ago at a bookstore. Many guys at my gym look but dont approach. I wish they would though. I don't mind that I'm sweaty n working out, come sat hi!!
A girl gave me her card after a 9 hour transatlantic flight, where we chatted for a few hours, but I never was approached or approached another person who I never spoke to in a cafe or restaurant. Maybe back in my mid to late teens, but not after then.
It'd have to be someone so beautiful that the thought of not meeting someone so stunning again would prompt me to make a move. Otherwise I just generally enjoy attractive women I encounter and maybe flirt a bit.
@videmon Your telling me the majority of guys do not find any attractive women on the bus, train, library or cafe on a daily basis that they do not approach?
Depends if a lady makes a move on me. I would take the time to get to know them. Chat with them first. In my personal case most women find me nutty but nice. And generally ends up becoming a friend and never more than that.
Never see any attractive strangers round my way , but being honest , not looking either , single dad and working FT and for self too , so just busy with day. I do not like strangers bothering me , so I take the view that a woman does NOT want yet another random guy bugging her... I would leave her well alone and move on , most women find male attention irritating , and it is invasive , unwanted and inappropriate.
If I see a guy staring at me, I sometimes pop out a breast or, if I am wearing little shorts, move them to the side a little so he can catch a glimpse of my sniz.
If she isn't wearing a ring and seems to be alone I will make a move. I have been rejected so many times that I have zero fear of it. To me the hits matter, not the strike outs.
I just look at attractive strangers. If I do occasionally talk to one, it would be way too awkward to try and hit on her out in public. I just imagine her laughing about it with her dopey friends later.
move on for few reasons 1 im taken already 2 she probably has like 20 other guys adoring her every day im not gonna be 21 st 3 Because of reason 2 and 1 its pointless to approach because of many reasons ( i keep em to myself )
I wouldn't act on it. Would feel too creepy, so I wouldn't bother her and would stay quiet. This in turn is also why I'll likely never have a girlfriend in my lifespan.
I’m might. Depends on how see responding. If she ask nervous or afraid. I’ll leave her alone. She definitely not enjoying my company. If she responds well and ask interested I would definitely pursue her if I’m single.
Depends on the location. A bar or restaurant i might. Out in the street no, on public transport definitely not. Somwhere where they work also definitely not.
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Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 y
+1 y
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