It comes naturally...it seems like a flirt with guys and girls even though 99.9% of the time I am not attracted or interested in them.
I don't really flirt...but when someone walks by...I make sure I notice them...Glance head to toe at thier outfit... or uglyness or sexyness...or ew lol
*And if they look at me I smile...(Because it makes things less creepy more friendly)
*When they talk to me I stare into deep eyecontact...and play with my hair...(because its always in my face but I don't want to cut bangs)
*When they talk...I laugh...(to make thing less tense)
*I always joke around and somehow tease them (only if nice enough) and touch them (only if clean)
*I give out my cell # like crazy because I enjoy texting when I am bored... (to guys or girls...you never know when you get extremly bored and need someone new to talk to)
*I compliment everyone on thier alluring qualities. (For Ex. If you are fat and have pretty eyes..I say "You have really pretty eyes")
*I am always interested in meeting new people. (The ones that are cool enough become my friends...the lame ones end up never being talked to after 1 convo.)
*If you are freaky minded and we have a freaky convo...I definitely will throw some (funny)
punch lines on you...(jokingly) some people take it serious...but some who are cool don't care.
Honestly if I think you are my "Type" I would be the not only nice but sexy too ;D
I am a natural flirt...I don't even notice how f*ck up I seem...
Supposedly sometimes friends unconsciously show flirting signals to their friends or people they're close to. If someone mirrors your body language, it means you and the other person have a strong connection/rapport or they feel comfortable with you. Also, if you're talking to someone, and they turn their whole body to face you and lean in closer, they're really listening to what you're saying-not necessarily flirting with you.
I once read in some magazine "if you're really nervous about flirting with someone you like a lot, flirt with someone you don't like to get practice" basically. (Which I find odd. Pretend to like someone, just for your own benefit?! Seriously?! What about that other person? What about the other person's feelings?)
Personally, I don't know why people do that. I don't think I've ever/or rarely flirted with someone consciously. I think it's a bit strange to purposely show flirting signals to someone you like-I'd think that would feel fake in a way-to act like someone you aren't just for the sake of flirting. Or if you show too many signals, that person would not be attracted if you come on too strongly.
No. It's never harmless. One person in the interaction nearly always wants more than the other, even if it's just sex.
However, I'm one of those over-friendly girls who gets taken for flirting ALL THE TIME, and "just sex" is a dude's response more often than not. Wonder why sweet, friendly, genuinely nice girls hide? This.
EXACTLY.
I give eye contact to everyone and smile, especially if they give the same to me. I feel it’s common courtesy. Some guys take it as an invitation to approach which is okay, but all the guys who have ever approached me turned out to be jerks. Also, a lot of guys take my sweetness, etc for being na?ve. Textbook and aggressive lines -eg, you’re beautiful, pretty eyes, calling me a pet name immediately, are unimpressive and guys who use them insult me when I reject them, regardless of how nicely...
I do it. I can sense insincerity even in texts. Sometimes I play along with it just to see what happens, but when I call them on it the response is invariably some variation on they don’t know what I’m talking about. This behavior goes for some male friends also. Suffice it to say that the only guys I hang out with voluntarily on the regular, are gay. I’m still real friendly because that’s just who I am, but it’s guarded and not genuine. I can approach guys because I'm that extroverted, but...
recent interactions make me never want to approach another man again. I struck up a convo with a male classmate because we're in 2 classes together I like making new friends. He harps on having sex with me every time we talk. I told him I'm not interested to no avail. Since I get this response quite a lot instead of just friendly behavior, my inclination to approach is decreasing. "Friendzone" vs "jerk" behavior be damned, if a girl like me wants in your pants, she will tell you.
Sh*t... those guys are total assholes. They see you as prey, nothing else. I've seen guys ask for sex in that manner, it's unbelievable, the girl doesn't even talk back cause she's so apalled.
It's a good thing that you're an expansive person, but approaching guys for friendship will never be completely safe, because of how our male brains are wired. Not trying to justify the obnoxious behavior of the dude you mentioned, but I must say if a girl approached me and acted "over-friendly" like...
you described, I'd probably think something's up. First thing I'd do is check if she's like that with other guys, if yes, then OK we're just friends.
In any case, sounds like you're having it tough. You sound pretty level-headed, that's cool. Let me ask one more thing, how do you act towards someone you're actually interested? You're friendly and extroverted by default, so is he able to tell it's something more? I sometimes have trouble knowing the difference.
I know not all guys are like those dudes, but it's what I experience 90% or so of the time. When I'm actually interested, I give a great deal of sustained eye contact, like the staring kind but less freaky, with a little smile. I'm affectionate but I don't touch people except for girl- and gay-boy friends, so if I voluntarily touch a guy a lot that's real big. I give compliments to him in general, but a lot about appearance. There's likely more, but it's been awhile since I've wanted to do this.
I guess I should add I do all those things together, and assuming we're already friends. I do give a lot of eye contact to people in general, but when I like a guy romantically I do it a lot more, and those other things in addition to that. Oh. I always try to be around him. I don't wait for him to initiate contact. I don't make references to other girls & especially not other guys. I pick on him in a clearly affectionate way. If I get a good response I'll say something, if he hasn't already.
So for you friendship is a requirement instead of a turn-off huh. I keep hearing how you should avoid becoming her friend at all costs, because it's the most heinous and undesirable thing in the world and it blows any chances you might have with the girl. Good to hear that's not always the case.
I'm getting off topic, sorry to keep you like this. Thanks for the insights, I really appreciate it.
Yeah it's a requirement. I can't understand the "friendzone" nonsense. I can find sexual chemistry anywhere, but a real mutual connection is a million times better. And you haven't kept me at all. Feel free to ask me any other questions you have, or even if you just want to chat about whatever. If my opinions, preferences, experiences, or dare I say advice help even one other person, then it is quite the opposite of a bother. Life is hard enough. We should share our information, not play games.
Sounds good, darlin'. I'll keep a lookout. :)
Yes, there's nothing wrong with human interaction. You never know, you could make someone's day.
As for the related question of people who only flirt with people they're not interested in. Maybe they feel they have nothing to lose? Or they're just too shy around people they're actually interested in.
Not at all, I only flirt with somebody if I do like them, not for a relationship necessarily but I can be for other things like sex. But I do flirt with girls that I like. I am shocked to see how many gamer girls there are here and then they say women don't like games. Biggest load of crap right here.
Opinion
26Opinion
Omg this is sad... I see girls on this site asking "is he into me or just leading me on?", who always complain about being confused and fooled... and yet looking at these answers they have no problem playing guys like a fiddle!
If you want honesty you have to set the example, is what I say.
I flirt with my guy friends, and they flirt back. But we both know it's harmless and just for fun/make time go by faster, especially at work! :D There's a mutual.. dis-interest.
Now, if it's a guy I rarely know, and I get the sense that he might be into me, but I am not, I will not flirt as this would be just leading him on. It really depends on who you're with :) But I voted A because I hang out quite a bit with my guy friends.
at least you are honest especially since you take the guys feelings into consideration if they don't get that you are not actually interested in them
I don't think I do, and I don't try to, but others think I do. I think it's more that, as I get to know a guy, I become more open and I guess friendlier so, to them, it comes off as flirting. I don't intentionally do it, nor do I intend for it to send the message that I'm into them, but it has caused some problems in the past.
Yeah I get what you mean. It's a trust thing, I guess. You show more of yourself -- which is attractive I might add. He gets to know you better, likes you more and more, you feed him more of yourself...ahhh it's a vicious cycle, the poor guy will fall for you. Just one of those things you can't control unless you know exactly what you're doing. I don't blame you.
How is opening up attractive?
At update: I think some people flirt only with the people they don't like because they're hoping to make the ones they do like jealous. That's my theory, at least.
Well by opening up you sort of invite the other person into your world. And when you get a glimpse of someone's hopes/fears/troubles it generates empathy (unless she's a total b*tch ofc). You get to appreciate someone else's humanity, and feel less alone. Friendship also works like this, I think.
And yeah your theory is definitely valid. Would be kind of a petty thing to do, however. Our petty little games...
No never, but I'm not a natural flirt. I'm pretty serious and just like to smile and laugh when I like somebody.
And I totally understand people who flirt with those they're not interested in! It's easier for me to act flirty, when I don't like a guy but I know that he likes me. Less pressure in case you screw up, cause you know that whatever you do, you'll get positive feedback from the guy.
No I'm not saying that I do it, but I understand the mindset behind it. Like I can be more friendly to guys when there's no pressure since I'm not interested in them.
I'd say though if a girl is acting flirty to you, you have some kind of chance, since I'd never flirt with a guy I find disgusting! Just react in a chill way, try to make her laugh, and don't act super eager or sketchy.
Oh I see. Well I try to remain optimistic but a lot of girls who flirt will run for the hills if you make a move. In my experience at least... and also from seeing other guys get turned down when all the signs were there. The results of this poll are not encouraging either. So I don't really know what to think right now.
Yes I do. -With the guys I like as friends, with the guys I find incredibly funny and with the guys I like as more than just friends. If I hate a guy I won't flirt...I'll barely speak to them, much less flirt with them.
And answering your other question;
It's because those people don't feel comfortable around the person they truly like. They feel self-conscious, and perhaps not good enough. They also fear of what the other person might say in return or if they'd think they're not a good or smooth enough of a flirt.They flirt with people they don't actually like because of all the opposite reasons.
Because it's fun.
And when I flirt with someone I don't like as more than a friend, they know it. . .
(guys aren't as stupid as they pretend to be sometimes)
Yep...well it's the same for us. :P
What annoys me is the fact that anything can be excused as friendly behaviour. Really, nowadays if a girl grabs your cock, don't get any ideas -- it means you're buddies. As if guys are always to blame (and sometimes ridiculed) for their wishful thinking, no matter the extent of women's innuendo. So I'd prefer if people would say what they mean and mean what they say. I know it won't happen though...
I know what you mean...the sad truth is the world doesn't work that way.
People who do flirt, but playfully and with no ulterior motive and no romantic intent really can choose people with whom to flirt so that that other person won't get any ideas. --it's not so difficult to read people in terms of their personalities. So when I flirt just for laughs I know who I'll flirt with. It's certainly not going to be the serious brooding guy in the corner. It's going to be a jokester I know and love.
Someone I know isn't going to take it seriously. That's why I don't flirt with people I don't know.
On the other hand, people who seem to flirt with everyone and then pretend like they didn't (aka, girls that don't know what they want / guys who are trying to be players but just SUCK at it) are a different story. They seem to think they can get something out of it, like respect or 'liking' which is moronic and misguided. . .
You just have to know who you're dealing with.
Btw, there IS a difference when flirting with someone I like and someone I like as a friend.
When I flirt with someone I truly like there is a lot more eye contact involved. After I say something our eyes are still locked on each others' for a couple of seconds...so we know we're not just playing around.
I understand. That's reasonable enough. So you'll agree that it's irresponsible to make your first contact with someone a flirt if you're not interested?
I agree that you must know who you're dealing with. Although some people just don't care and want attention from anyone who is willing to provide it.
Yes, I do agree to an extent...but you really don't know if you're interested until you get to know the person.
It's a vicious circle! xD
I usually flirt with guys I'm not interested in. It's because it's easier for me to just say whatever I want, do whatever I want, etc. I can laugh and joke around freely because I care very little about what they think. And the attention of a cute guy can drive you forward, you know?
I know, it doesn't seem sane to do it, but... I just do it. I actually get totally freaked when I really like a guy. I act very inconsistently--I flirt, laugh, etc. and then I run away from him because it feels too real. I stress over what I just said to him, did, etc. It's too much to deal with. That's why flirting with strangers can be stupid and easy.
It depends on how you define your terms. I flirt only with people I like. Or are attracted to. But not necessarily those that I want a relationship with. y'know what I'm saying?
And flirt as in banter friendly insults. Touching shoulders compliments. Well then I flirt with every one of my friends that happen to be girls. (Which is I guess all but 3 people so make of that what you will)
So I guess I can say I flirt with all girls that I like even only as friends. But if you mean flirt with purpose? I don't even recall doing that with my girl.
Flirting is often like arguing it's a sport. There's really no way to win. And people sometimes get the wrong message
I don't and in my opinion, people shouldn't do it. Because then if the guy/girl takes it seriously, then the person who flirted starts complaining that the guy/girl won't leave them alone. Its like if you are playing with rats and one of them bites you and then you complain when you get rabies, its just stupid, but then again, that's just my opinion.
No, I don't like misunderstandings and I don't want to be responsible for someone's feelings. Natural flirt my ass >>
Geez, flirting is supposed to be a fun and carefree social act, not a definite declaration of love. See, this is why people should flirt more.
I'm pretty sure that regardless of whether or not there's flirting involved, if the person can't distinguish between playful teasing and showing genuine romantic interest, then any sign of general kindness would be seen as "a chance" in the eyes of someone with a crush.
Of course! Life would be so boring if no one did!
I will never lie and say I love that person, or that I'm interested in a relationship. But I will have fun if they find me attractive and I feel the same!
Of course, if I'm in a serious relationship (aka I think I might be in love), I automatically tone it down. To be honest, I don't really feel like flirting if I'm in love. And even if I wasn't in a actual relationship... I don't do it in front of boys that will be hurt.
There are rules to being good at it, and ways to make it fun for both people... If you do it wrong they could be lead to believe your flirting is actually interest. And the repercussions are many.
Yes. In certain situations, you really can't take flirting seriously. For example, you know you're never going to see the person again, or you're at work and flirting a little with a customer. In all other situations, I try not to do that because I might have to fend him off at another point.
but why would you flirt with a guy you aren't attracted to? strange...
Nope, If I don't find you interesting to talk to or attractive then no I won't flirt back. I don't want to send out signals that I don't truly mean.
lol your welcome
Lol at the update. For some reason I'm just more comfortable talking/flirting with guys I'm not attracted to. I guess it's because I get really shy and unsure of myself when I'm around a crush and end up talking to his friend (who I hold zero attraction for) more--with the hope of getting some info on my crush...you know, when I'm not too busy getting flustered thinking about him.
I do the same thing. It is because I know nothing else is going to happen. So if I get rejected It don't bother me. It would hurt me more if I did it to someone I am attracted too.
Usually I make sure he doesn't like me, but if he unfortunately does I would probably let him down easy or (depending on the guy) I might see where things go and go on at least one date.
I don't mind flirting with some girls I'm not interested in, but I will back off if they show some indicators of interest.
Other girls I am into - I might flirt with them for a bit, then get nervous and go shy. I'll be HOT for them one day, then cold another. Just depends on how I'm feeling.
Im exactly the same way. A part of me wants the dude to know I'm clearly interested, and then after a while I punk out and start running when things go smoothly because "now it's really obvious I like him." It's like your brain shuts off when you really like someone.
I think people should separate light, one time flirting, with heavy and repeated flirting.
Light, polite and short flirting is OK and make both people feel good. Leading someone on with heavy and repeated flirting while you have no interest in that person is inappropriate and hurtful.
even before I voted, I already knew that girls are very more likely to flirt with people, reciprocate, engage in conversation and flirting, those results do not surprise me, which is what I really hate about girls, and what I hate even more is that taken girls are more likely to do that than single girls
looks like someone got suckered ha ha tough luck buddy
yeah, you bitches have the upper hand
I'm interested in everyone, but I don't flirt with them.
What am I doing wrong!?
No. I just don't feel like it. I can't bring myself to flirt unless I'm interested. If I do I'd feel sort of stupid and uncomfortable.
Though I was being nice to one guy and I'm afraid he had mistaken it for flirting. When I realized this, I quickly backed away to make sure he doesn't get the wrong idea. So I might have done it once... in a way...? =/
erm... not all the guys... If I REALLY don't like him I won't flirt AT ALL...
But if he's a close friend or something and we're just kidding around sureee why not ;P
I will 'shy-flirt' with a guy I really do like usually.. so there's a difference in the types of flirting.
never heavy flirting where it definitely showing I am interested...just innocent flirting like if to help me do something I'll bat my eyelashes , hug them, ask please with the innocent look and cute face...but I always tel;l them what I good friend they are, and how I would never wanna change that
yea but i tell them i never wanna be anything else but friends, and they say they understand that
1) usually not but sometimes I do if ill never see them again and its just fun! but mayb some guys would get my flirting confused with friends (cu honestly to me there's not much difference in the way I act xcept ill try to like touch and b near the guy but ill act playful a lot with my guy friends)
2) I hav no idea that's just kinda weird
No, lol. I barely even flirt with people I AM interested in. It just isn't something that comes easily to me. Flirting is one of those social activities that I usually find awkward and uncomfortable. I guess I flirted with my boyfriend and still do, but only because he was one of those special cases where it wasn't weird to do so. I think I was more weirded out by the fact that I WASN'T weirded out by it.
I flirt without meaning to. If someone flirts with me I just do it back without even thinking.. I am a really physical person, I like to hug and touch and so on and I do that with everybody who I feel comfortable with, friends or more. So it sometimes leads to mix ups with guys thinking I like them... I am working on it (:
some of my guy friends.
and recently my ex boyfriend who still has feelings for me even though he broke up with me 3 months ago. (he aso went out with 3 other girls but broke up with them after a week cause of me) but I'm currently in an awesome relationship.
i'm conflicted
no, it makes you sound like a horrible bitch. sorry
i understand that actually. that's another reason why I'm conflicted. ik it's not right to be feeling this way, but I miss him even though he hurt me. but when we were together we really loved each other.
idk what to do is what I'm saying.
No, cause that would just be leading him on. I know how that feels & it sucks. I'm friendly/polite with everyone but I only go the extra step (flirting) when I like them.
Nope,coz I don't want people to assume that I like them etc even if I don't but I just love to smile at them as a sign of respect but still they think I'm seducing them which is really weird on my part...
I voted, yes, but I have a VERY important disclaimer:
I do...but mainly on the internet because I don't give a f***, & nobody takes internet flirting seriously.
In real life...no I'm not a flirt. I'm not interested in other girls...so why flirt IN REAL LIFE when I could be taken seriously & mislead somebody?
Being friendly can very easily be interpreted as flirting. I am very friendly to people I am comfortable around. Sometimes that might be people who like me and I don't have an interest in them. Its just the way I am. I'm not trying to lead them on or anything.
What for? To make them feel good or something? NO. I am not good at it but will at least try to flirt with a girl I like. Girls only do that because guys will always give them attention. Girls always get more atttention than guys do. Flirting with someone you don't like is just plain asinine.
lol sometimes, and its pretty straight forward. it's good practice, its fun, and its an ego boost if he flirts back (for him too). and if he doesn't - its easily shrugged off ... because it was random and meant nothing ;D
Well, I voted yes because sometimes I will, but its not always on purpose! If I am comfortable around a guy I tend to be more open and outgoing. For SOME reason this gets translated as flirting. Like quick remarks and stuff like that. I never intentionally flirt with a guy I'm not interested in.
Yeah, if the guy isn't interested in me, because it is only for fun or good for your ego when you need some attention. But we can't always know what the others think, so when you flirt with someone you're not interested in, you always take a risk to hurt this person.
Flirting is fun. Helps break the ice. You have to be able to have relationships with people of both sexes. As long as there is no romantic undertone it should be fine.
I would but not with intent. I flirt with guys all the time. Guys I know and are in relationships. We do it for FUN nothing serious. It's simple banter and never crosses the line.
If it's a guy I'm interested in then I would flirt with intent.
If they are innocent, could possibly become attracted to me, get the wrong idea then no.
If they're sluts, think highley of themselves, are flirtatious themselves then yes, I'll string them along and play them at thier own game
As much as I wish I could say that I don't, I sometimes do. Although it depends on my mood. If I'm in a bitter mood, beat it! But if I'm in a good mood, everyone's game...I'll even get a little flirtatious with other women...it's just my nature!
No, I don't think there is a point in that. The guy would think I am interested and keep bugging me.Even tough when they flirt and I don't, they think I am playing hard to get...so I think guys see what they want.
I don't flirt with people I'm not interested in only because I don't want to get their hopes up if they wanted to go out with me. Also because I'm in a relationship, so flirting at all does not happen :)
I flirt if the girl does it first and knowing she just wants to be friend, mainly because it's fun to have some laugh without worrying about anything, and it's good practice as well.
Yes I do flirt with people I'm not interested in! Mainly because it's fun, and I get a sense of power because I can control whether they like me or not (I'm not actually a bitch) And yet when I really like someone I get really shy, and just don't have the same amount of confidence to flirt as I do with a guy that I'm not interested in.
i say no cause if I don't like him, it's a waste of my time.
Sometimes when I'm in the mood. Just for fun... even though sometimes I might regret it, there are certain people that you shouldn't even look with your eye sight. So gotta be careful with who you flirt with.
NEVER. That's playng with peoples feelings. Just because celebrities play cute in TV, it doesn't mean that people should take habbits like leading other on and leaving them only empty hope.
Sometimes, a little. Mostly silly giggling, hair tossing, stuff I'd facepalm at if I saw another girl doing it... Believe it or not, usually it's only if I think they're flirting with me a little and I don't want them to feel rejected/unattractive. It's usually random people I'm not likely to see again/often, I wouldn't do it with someone I was going to see all the time.
Yeah, not always on purpose. I flirt with people I like and people I don't. Personally I kind of do it because it's fun to flirt and it feels good to have someone flirt back. :)
Yes. People treat you better when they are interested in you. It also makes the conversation more interesting.
Well it depends on how aggressively you're flirting. If I like your outfit I will comment on it. Some people consider that flirting. I call it being nice. If you do something sexy or provocative, I will call you out on it. "Wow, you look beautiful standing with the sunset behind you'" I will also brush the hair out of your face if its bothering me. I call all of that innocent flirting.
of courseeeee! its always nice to get treated to a few free drinks, food, admission etc :) and the attention is always fun too...
no? lol, I'm just being honest!..maybe its wrong, but you only live once! :)
i just like to go against the norms I guess :\ no but, its good to do the right thing though and I agree with you on that
hahahah good song, I'm not a gold digger though silly I just like a few free drinks to get me a little buzzed :) I mean who doesnt?
watch out whore alert!
you go girl! ;D men are too easy
hahaha whore alert? don't hate. and yes, some are nice, or maybe they're just rich and giving? lol but either wayyy
there sure are some bitter little boys on this site
ouch OK then
nope, I don't want to lead anybody on or tease them
I love your response.
Yes, I always do! But it's just because I'm flirty by nature. I flirt with everyone, half the time I don't even realize I'm doing it till I think about it afterwards.
sometimes, because if they flirt back it makes me feel like I have opportunities to be in a relationship if I wanted
yup... its good practice lol, as long as the other person knows (and its like a playfull thing).
nd to answer your other question, som guys do that cause theyre not nervous around girls theyre not attracted, and it builds confidence.
Flirting harmless and fun, I flirt with people I'm not seriously interested in
I have a bad habit of flirting too much with everyone
Original question: Agree with lala-193
Related question: No
Yeah! I can't help it, but when I actually like the person I can't I get to shy!
Well I just found out yesterday that two of my guy friends like me. And my one friend said and I quote "you seem to have the flirt meter set a liiiittle higher for him, but I don't know if you even notice". So I guess I do. But I don't like either one of them, and I kinda feel bad like I've been leading him on. But he always initiates it, but I never thought he actually liked me, in my defense:/
i have a limit to how much I flirt with a girl I'm not interested in.. just for fun hehe
Why of course! Have to keep in practice in case I'm reincarnated.
I flirt with people I like but I wouldn't ever do anything with. Some are all talk so I talk back.
No, what would be the point of that?
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