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Are you shocked when someone much older/younger than you rejects you because of your age? (Page 2)
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I've only had it happen to me once.
I didn't get rejected per se, but a 21-something year old referred to me as an "old man she wouldn't date" a while ago.
It's my first!
I'm the kind of person who still gets ID checked when buying alcohol (most recently last week), so I welcomed being considered an "old man" in some capacity for the first time.
Lmao yea my ID gets checked anytime i enter a casino haha
It used to bother me, and I have been rejected by some older women before because they didn't like the idea of a younger guy, but as I've had more experience with women over the years I still know there are enough cougars out there who would date someone my age.
Lol true
No. Surprised. But not shocked. As a young shop boy I had several older women take an interest in me, and in no way objected.
I will say that the size of an acceptable gap grows with age. A 30 year old chasing a 20 year old seems a bit dubious. A 60 year old dating a 50 year old, less so.
However, when I get approached by a much younger woman, I mainly assume she is a gold digger.
Hardly changes for me. Since i started dating at at 15, I've always only wanted to date someone 0-2 years older. It took me to turn like 22 to even go up 1 year extra
I don't know. No I wouldn't be I guess? I don't go after women who are much older or younger than me. A bit younger sure, but no kids please ewww.
I've rejected girls/women for being too young/old. More often too old, since I don't hang out in places with little girls hahaha
Yea i stay rejecting the age gap
In numbers, please? What is "to old/young" for you? My perfect age range is a 16-8 years gap.
@roland77 Well, my perfect age range is difficult to say. I'm 36, and I'd say my perfect age range is maybe 26-30, but perfect is often not realistic, and it's important to be open to expanding as the case may be. I would probably date someone as old or even a few years older than me. I would also probably date someone in her early 20s. I might even date a 19 or 18 (hey, they're adults) but probably not because we're at such a different point in life and maturity level. And definitely not if they looked young because ewwww
Another factor that affects my age range is that at my age, most of the good ones are taken. The ones who aren't, were, and now have kids. So, I need to be open to dating younger women. (I usually date women my own age within a small number of years).
@roland77 I have no interest in dating someone with kids again for the following reasons (that I previously posted on a different question)
I definitely want kids one day, but I won't date a woman who already has kids. I tried that once, and it was magical and awesome, and we all fell in love and had a happy family. Over that almost-year relationship the boy was from 0 to 1, and the girl from 2 to 3. Man, I loved those kids and they loved me. I was an excellent father and I know they're better for having had me in their lives. I found out that I will be an excellent father.
Hah. When I first went to meet them I was so nervous.. "if her kids don't like me I'm so done!" and I made an extra effort to be lovable and oh man did they ever love me, and I them.
So what's the problem?
- They're not my kids.
- They're gone as quick as a breakup.
- I'll never see them again.
- No matter how much of the better father I was, I still have no claim to them.
- Life revolved around raising the kids and that got in the way of developing a relationship (though we had a good relationship, but it would have been better if we could focus on us instead of them).
- I'll never be the most important person in her world. The kids will always come first, as would be expected of a good mother (which she was).
- I inherit the ex, and god knows how he treats my kids.. not my kids.. and the drama he was.
Okay, 6-10 is okay with me: 36/2+6=24 as I have heard (and feel, too) is okay.
@roland77 In the teenage years, it was half your age plus 7. In adulthood, we're all consenting adults. In theory. I wouldn't want to date a woman who looks or acts really young, regardless of age
Okay, I can go with that. To young is to bad. My girlfriend has a 14 years gap to me.
I was 23 when I had a man in his 40s with white hair and wrinkles hand over his number to me. Its even worse than when an ugly young guy approaches you. I'm like Why would you even think that I would be attracted to or see a future with someone like you?
Media likes to overblow it about how women like older guys so they assume that young women like old uncles too.
😂😂😂
Whether they are older, younger, too ugly, or otherwise don't appeal to you, how you react should be about the same. If he is not a pest, you should let the guy down as easy as you can with whatever reason or white lie you can think of that makes sense.
I do that but im annoyed because many can't take no for an answer and challenge it
My experience is it never happens to me more than twice, and then they give up. Maybe I'm more tolerant or maybe some men are more persistent and, if so, perhaps being rude is what it takes.
I don't ever ask people out. And j certainly wouldn't ask out a milf. So I don't know if I can answer this without going into the hypothetical.
I feel a comfortable age difference is around 5 years older or lower. Anything more is getting a bit stretched.
Its a hypothetical question
But in my case, very unrealistic.
It might be helpful if you wear a sign or name tag that tells people how you feel, then these older or younger people will stop flirting with you. Bit until then, you can't expect them to know your feelings since they can't read your mind and they don't know you.
I've told people and they like to challenge it
Well yes, and no, maybe more no than yes, maybe not. I respect that some in search of partner have certain criteria for who they want and that is fine. Also, i don't think that people really understand until they put a few years down that it is not the number but the person themselves who are sting young acting carefree and enjoying every bit of life they can and look much younger and healthy for doing so
Well the age plays a part for me
Yes, as expect for most of us, don't you think that if age was not apparent at sight, for instance it doesn't look like dating dad, this would be a consideration?
I've talked yo two guys whos age i didn't ask til it was too late. I left them once i found out their age
Cool, so you are telling me that i have not a snowballs chance in hell with you right?
Sadly thats what im telling you
😢😢😢
I feel older u know, all my batch is getting married but Im still standing for a good future to me and being coach for relationships goal to someone 😂... Super funny I think, but I like the way I'm now, and I'm not shocked if someone rejects due to ages. It's normal, I don't feel offended, just accept it, each person have their own perception.
True
Actually 28 is young tho😂😂
Some younger girls reject me for being much older but many dont. Usually immature ones do but thats ok because im not really into immature young girls... thats just too much to handle. I prefer the most mature for their age younger ones. Ie. If a girls like ewww you have a career vs wow you could support a family if we got serious.
For me its the fact that i tell them no thanks and they choose to challenge it. Like learn to accept my respectful ass no
Lol that has nothing to do with age. That has to do with the vast majority of girls say no but mean yes. Ie if we keep asking eventually they say yes and become our girlfriends. For example my first girlfriend i had to ask her like 50 times to be my girlfriend! And then we were in a relationship for 9 years. So good thing i didn't accept her no as a no. So girls like that are teaching men not to accept no as an answer.
No those men are prob the same ones who’ll rape you because they assumed No meant yes. Some people should learn to accept no. If we say no, move on and if we want you later on, feel free to reject us back
Ok sounds great in theory. People do what works, not what sounds nice. Not accepting no works. So maybe if you get girls to say what they mean and mean what they say it will change more than trying to convince men to do things they know are opposite to successful dating strategy. Just an idea.
im not shocked but im also not looking so when im nice or respectful i always get the i have a boy friend line lol. not sure what that has to do with me just being a nice guy but some women are just overly paranoid. lol.
Lmao maybe they been through what i have
maybe but it is hard being nice when they are expecting grand pa to be sending them love letter and a condom XD
I've never really asked any one MUCH older. My attempted dating range usually encompassed my age plus 7 years until at present, I have changed it from plus or minus 10 years. Although, let's be real. I've given up several years ago and haven't bothered to do anything at all in that world.
Then you should just read a t-shirt or a something like that warning the old fellas. But that may attract them even more. Some guys like a challenge.
Good luck!
Lmao yea most have accepted it as a challenge when i tellem
Well men like to hunt. That urge does not go away. I was seriously thinking about leaving the technology consulting business to go into matchmaking. One of the things that discouraged me, was the expectation that American men have for meeting women. I kept meeting guys who thought they could be 50 years old and date a 19 year old. It was so discouraging! And the thing is, these guys were getting scammed by online scammers. One would have thought I could make a good buck by introducing them to women who were actually interested in them.
Nope!
I literally had one guy lecture me that there has to be a service out there where he could shop via catalog for a wife.
After that, I was done.
shocked? no but i may be upset if i dont think it makes any difference and the other person is only acting upon percieved social norms rather than her own actual feelings about me
Its not about social norms for me. Its about knowing that i dont want someone under/over 3 years of age
struggling to see where you mentioned that in the question but its fine to have a personal preference whatever that is
Age is but a number but I hear ya.
I dont go after girls under 20.
Its awkward. Id prefer 25 and up to be honest. 18 just doesn't feel right at all.
Yea 18 is too young
No it is normal for human to look for people that have a similar age it is just biology but than i myself want to grew old with my Partner and dont want to leave her alone or have an other lose like this
I agree
I was more shocked to be proposed by twelve year old guy crushing good on me. he's my brother's friend for heaven's sake! so embarrassing.
Lmao thats happened so much to me 😂
Awwww!
It's not that deep. I'm not really into people much older or younger, but just respectfully decline if I'm not with it.
I do respectfully decline.
Im talkin bout the ones who keep coming back cause they can't handle No
⁉️🤔 No I wouldn't be shocked... I can Understand their opinion... but I think they don't look past the details... they are not considering the importance of any spiritual or emotional connection that could join two humans.. regardless of any details..