Writing a note to a crush at work?

Question

Okay, so to make this as simple as possible
There is this girl at work that I have developed a bit of a crush on.
Originally, I had no interest in her, but after a while I started to notice some of her quirks and I have slowly developed a small crush on her.
During the early months she approached me a couple of times in passing in ways that came off as slightly flirting (or at least being nice). I usually responded to them politely, but never took them anywhere.
Months later I started to develop an interest in her, and so I decided to try my best to talk with her (I am very introverted). We spoke a few times, and often say Good morning to each other.. etc. Though honestly, I have no clue if she has any interest in me.

I have decided I want to take it a little bit further, and do something sweet for her.
She has some plush toys on her desk, and I decided I would buy her one..
but along with that write her a little note
Something that isn't creepy, or too aggressive
but also something that isn't too passive

Something that would make it clear I am interested in her
but also taking into consideration we don't know each other that way.. and haven't spoken that much...

So I am trying to figure out how to write this note
I would really love to surprise her, and do something to make her day a little better! :)

zeitgeist057 · Accepted Answer

My opinion is if you make it weird or a big deal it will be a big deal. If you make it light and nonchalant, it can be that too.

I don't know much about her plush toys, but they could be something specific like the old beanie babies:

or they could follow another theme like maybe it's her favorite anime or show like Pokemon?

If you think it could be something more specific like this, I would ask about them first. Actually, I would probably ask about them anyway. It may seem a bit obvious, but one of the best ways to show interest in someone is to literally show interest in what they are interested in.
You like music? What kind? What do you like about that genre?
What are these plush toys on your desk? They're cute! How did you start collecting them? Sorry, not to assume, do you collect them? What do you think the next one you get will be? (get her that one!)

You really seem to want to write a note, and I guess that's okay, but it could be better to just give her the new toy with a nonchalant comment like "I saw this online the other day, and I remembered you said you wanted your next plush toy to be an octopus, so I got it for you." or you could do something kind of cute and cheesy like get her one and create a "cheesy pick up line" like:

"I saw this and it reminded me of you. It's just so... foxy 😅 "

or a plush taco:

Good luck and I think just play it cool, don't make a big deal out of it.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

Do NOT buy her a gift. That is too much, too soon. And don't send her a note; that is a coward's way out and it will get no respect from her. If the ultimate goal is to get a date with her, then that will mean dating, spending time together, talking face-to-face. So get over it, now.

Ask her - in person - if she would like to join you for lunch one day. If you are too shy for that, organize a small group from work to go out to happy hour after work one Friday afternoon and ask her to join the group. That will give you a social opportunity to talk to her without feeling too much pressure.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Hmm. I don't know. Could go either way.
This is either a bit creepy, or a bit sweet.

Stuffed animals are typically for further along in the relationship. It's a token of love or something. (Unless it's a kid, baby.)

You can write a short note. But you're going into potential stalker territory here.
You're wanting to do it this way because you're super shy, right? It might work. Or it might be seen as way too much.

Get to know her more first. That'd be my guess. But who knows. If this girl brings stuffed animals to work she's not exactly a tough career woman. She's still got one foot in childhood. She might be sweet and naive too, and appreciate the sentiment.

I won't help craft a note since makeupmodel91 is working on that with you. She seems to know the right wording for you two.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

I'm the type to think it's not a good idea to try to date coworkers... The don't mix business with pleasure or don't shit where you eat... But I feel if you're going to show interest you should do it more personally than a note...

SecretsofKB · Answer

Okay, so I'd suggest asking her about her plush toys first. That would be a great way to get her talking to you about something she enjoys! Make sure you listen and show interest though lol

Take note of what she says and use that to get a toy she would like. And keep the note light and fun. Biggest thing you want is to just open up a conversation between you two.

It should progress naturally from there if you two have something that could work.

Medicalbug · Answer

To be really honest, I think this is creepy and invasive since you don't know each other very well, and (let me stress this clearly) THIS IS AT YOUR WORKPLACE.
Someone else mentioned that this is more like something you'd do once you're in a relationship and I agree. I would suggest talking to her more frequently and testing out the waters first - is she lingering around and eager to talk? Do you have a lot in common? If you are on a level where you are practically chatting every day and even on social media together, then you would probably know if she "might" like you. If you sense yes, just ask her out for coffee first. Casually, and see what happens, but keep it nonchalant and leave that casual way out.
The problem with a work relationship is the fact that you can't really avoid the person if things go south. And even worse - they can't avoid you, even though they might feel mortified and really wish you hadn't done that. You absolutely don't want to be leaving stuffed animals and love notes on an unsuspecting colleague's desk, who, from your own description, isn't even a real friend, but just an acquaintance. So this is a hard no for me. Just don't.

MakeUpModel91 · Answer

I think it is a really sweet gesture. A note and a gift is such a great way of showing her that not only you care but you are thoughtful enough to have noticed she likes plushys. I have grown in to a hopeless romantic. I mean I would totally love this gesture. As for the note I would say something along the lines of I see this plushy and thought of you. I Wanted to brighten your day as you brighten mine maybe we could get together some time? You say there may have been signs of flirting but she could just have been polite. The worst that can happen is she doesn't feel the same. If you don't try you will never know. Good luck I wish you the best 😊

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

You need to find out WHY she has the plushies? Maybe they were from lots of ex’s in which would be good. But they may all come from one boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend, in which case, all you would do, is succeed in reminding hey of a guy you don’t want her thinking of him, lastly (and worse of all for her) what if they represent deceased relatives? Or they belonged to a deceased brother or sister, or best friend… all I’m saying is make sure you know why she collects them. You wouldn’t want to upset her more by buying her something like that. But all you have to do is show an interest in her, and her stuff, next time you are by her desk, complement the plushies!

charlean · Answer

Honestly just go straight in with a note saying “Want to grab coffee sometime? - (Asker’s name)”
don’t beat around the bush, cause you want her to see you as a potential partner, not a friend.

I’d avoid the plush toy thing tho (until later if it works out) otherwise she might feel bad or awkward if she wants to say no but you got her a gift, even if it is cheap.

PolkaDotShorties · Answer

I think you should just go for it and ask her out for coffee. Then if that goes well, ask her out to dinner. The stuff you’re doing is okay, as long as you’re not going overboard and edging on creeping her out, but I wouldn’t continue doing it

wallflower_fantasy · Answer

That’s sweet of you. For me personally I would love that because you took the time to write a letter. Keep it short and sweet.

gracekkim · Answer

A single rose🌹Gestures of courtesy and courtship mean a lot to a woman.

Apulu_3 · Answer

Something short and meaningful will work.

ushagomez · Answer

Talk, don’t write.

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