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A few days ago, I gathered up all my courage and dared myself to talk to the guy I have a crush on. We go to the same gym and have made eye contact a lot.
He sometimes wears these interesting-looking pair of Nike shoes that I think look really cool, so I asked myself: why not say so? I’m tired of waiting for him to come to me and always wondering, so why not be the first to make a move and find out? So I did. I waited until he was alone and I just walked up to him and caught his attention. The way he smiled and said “hey” when I did…. I swear, I almost died right then and there.
Just a short and sweet conversation that maybe lasted a minute or two and which I ended by smiling and saying they looked really cool.
I was on cloud nine for the rest of the night and the whole weekend, replaying the memory in my head over and over and feeling so giddy and proud of myself for taking the chance. If he had been shy about talking to me before, he would be more comfortable now that I had broken the ice. I fantasized about what it would be like when we finally saw each other again. I imagined how he would walk up to me at some point and ask for my name and we’d talk and flirt for a long time until finally he would ask for my number and something would actually begin.
What happened in reality? I showed up and I waited, excited for my fantasy to come true. Then, he showed up. I moved from exercise to exercise, still waiting. Watching as he and his friends did their usual workout, oblivious to the pathetic girl from last week who kept on looking in his direction, still waiting and becoming more and more disappointed as the night went on. There were so many opportunities for him to come over. But he just… didn’t.
It makes me feel sad and foolish. I keep telling myself not to take it personally. And why am I letting some guy I don’t even know have such a powerful hold on my mood and my self-esteem? It doesn’t make any sense, and yet I feel like an idiot.
He sometimes wears these interesting-looking pair of Nike shoes that I think look really cool, so I asked myself: why not say so? I’m tired of waiting for him to come to me and always wondering, so why not be the first to make a move and find out? So I did. I waited until he was alone and I just walked up to him and caught his attention. The way he smiled and said “hey” when I did…. I swear, I almost died right then and there.
Just a short and sweet conversation that maybe lasted a minute or two and which I ended by smiling and saying they looked really cool.
I was on cloud nine for the rest of the night and the whole weekend, replaying the memory in my head over and over and feeling so giddy and proud of myself for taking the chance. If he had been shy about talking to me before, he would be more comfortable now that I had broken the ice. I fantasized about what it would be like when we finally saw each other again. I imagined how he would walk up to me at some point and ask for my name and we’d talk and flirt for a long time until finally he would ask for my number and something would actually begin.
What happened in reality? I showed up and I waited, excited for my fantasy to come true. Then, he showed up. I moved from exercise to exercise, still waiting. Watching as he and his friends did their usual workout, oblivious to the pathetic girl from last week who kept on looking in his direction, still waiting and becoming more and more disappointed as the night went on. There were so many opportunities for him to come over. But he just… didn’t.
It makes me feel sad and foolish. I keep telling myself not to take it personally. And why am I letting some guy I don’t even know have such a powerful hold on my mood and my self-esteem? It doesn’t make any sense, and yet I feel like an idiot.
