Do you guys think this is rude of me or is it justified?

[Martymart]

There’s this cute girl that I can tell has a crush on me and I like her too. The thing is, she’s shy, quiet and sort of introverted so any interaction we have had has been because of me. I speak first, I always give her a hug and we have nice conversation. We laugh and joke when I initiate any conversation but, It gets tiresome being the only one to speak first and spark a conversation or flirting. I get that she is shy and quiet and that could be the reason she never does anything without me doing it first but since she likes me too, shouldn’t she be willing to sort of break out of that and be the first to spark something between us when we see one another instead of waiting for me to do it all the time? So today when I saw her, I didn’t speak. I didn’t give her a hug or anything and I know she has noticed. What made it even crazier is we kept bumping into each other today more than we have any other day and neither of us said anything. I just knew this would get her to speak first, still nothing. She looked at me each time we bumped into each other and just looked down and kept walking. The last time I ran into her today she still didn’t speak and it bothered me because this was the about the fifth time we had see one another. So, I shook my head while looking at her as we walked pass each other. I know it may seem mean but it’s not right that I’m the only one putting in some kind of effort.

[ManOnFire]

So I understand where you're coming from. Been there before too. If you're always doing the speaking first, you do get to a point where it's like "Why can't you show the same thing once in a while?"

One thing I will say that might've been a mistake is by completely ignoring her when you wanted to see if she would speak first. I think the thing to have done was still give her a hello in passing but hold back on the hugging and jumping into a conversation. By completely ignoring her it appears as if you are angry with her about something she's not aware of. But if you had just kept it at a light hello or a wave in passing to see what she would do, that might make her think a little bit, and not cause the situation to become entirely broken.

But I still totally understand your frustration, and truthfully? She's pretty much telling you where her maturity and ability to communicate is if she can't put a foot forward and offer the same effort that you've been giving.

[smne35]

Dude this is where you need to show maturity and stop with the kid hands, ok you know she's shy, have you ever bothered to ask her why she never initiate the conversation, she could be going through shifting personal at home try to be more understanding because to me it seems that she really needs a good grief someone she can take comfort in so cut out the I always start this or that and be more understanding, you can't read her thoughts true but don't misread her actions, in sure she was hit by you silence it's time to grow up and be more understanding and so what if she don't start a conversation give her time be patience and ask her is everything is ok and don't treat her as you did ever again ok

[Martymart]

I mean I hear you but even if I am just being impatient and immature, we have been crushing on each other for about a month. How long does it take for someone to realize they can find comfort in someone and trust them? Now, granted, I don’t know her past and I don’t know everything about her present. It’s only been a month. She’s told me some things and I have told her some things but we haven’t gotten deep and personal. So the time it takes for her to warm up and be comfortable depends greatly on her experiences but how am I suppose to feel? Just ignore what I feel completely and only recognize and be compassionate about what she could be feeling?

[Martymart]

I do know she has a son but she never mentions this child’s father.