Why can't I handle my boyfriend calling other girls cute?

[alyxandrianicole]

Me and my boyfriend have been together a year and some months... but I still get hurt when he calls other girls cute, even one's on TV. Just now he said this about a girl on a TV show "I'd do her." And I swear it just felt like my adrenaline kicked in so much and I shut the TV off like a psycho and am pouting and hating myself. I HATE to be like this, but it' just how I always react. I don't want to be "that girl"... but things like this really make me out to be "her" :(

What can I do to stop caring about stupid situation like this?

[emmablunt1993]

I have felt like this too in the past, but luckily I have a really lovely boyfriend who thankfully doesn't make remarks like that, and he claims he doesn't even feel attracted to other women anymore, he can see when someone is good-looking, but that doesn't mean he's attracted or drawn to them.Basically, he's more like a woman than a man in the way he thinks.But I know this is very rare and one day I will probably date a guy who is the opposite of my current boyfriend.

All relationships are different, and different ways work for different people, I know the majority of couples are NOT like my boyfriend and I, but that's fine because everyone is different.

In my opinion, I don't think it is acceptable for your boyfriend to be saying this to you, it is not something you need to hear, is it?I mean, all guys are different and most guys claim that they don't lose any interest in the opposite gender despite having a perfectly attractive girlfriend, but that's just generally how men are, apparently.You should speak to him and tell him that if he wants to talk in that manner about other women, he should show some respect for you and not talk to you about it, talk with his mates about it.

I think it is incredibly rude that he said, ''I'd do her,'' about a lady on television.Yeah, it's a celebrity, but making that crude remark is a lot different from, ''She's pretty,'' right?You don't want to know whether he would 'do' a different woman given the chance, whether it's an actual person you know of, or a celebrity.

Don't let any answers make you think you are in the wrong, if your boyfriend doesn't realize what he is doing is quite disrespectful and hurtful to your feelings, then play him at his own game, I've done this with previous boyfriends, it's funny how they think they can leer and gawk all they want, but when the table's are turned they go all wild and jealous.Well, some do anyway.

Good luck :)

[aliciaxx]

I used to be just like this. It really is an ugly and hurtful thing for both you and your boyfriend. How I got out of it was by just being single until I came to terms with the fact that yes, my boyfriend will watch p*rn, will check girls out, and will think they are attractive.

My sister has been with her now-husband since she was 17. She is 26. He will always tease about seeing hot girls on the side of the road, and sometimes go way overboard with joking about 'doing her friends' and beeping at 12 year old, ect. Just really nerve-racking things. My sister handles it because she knows that he's doing it mostly to try to annoy her, and I'm sure her coolness to it all makes him like her more, because she isn't jealous. She knows if given the chance he wouldn't, because he has been propositioned before.

Overall guys just will always think other girls are attractive, even the gay guys. Girls are just pretty in general and I can even admit to checking out really pretty girls, and I'm completely straight.

[Anonymous]

To be honest girl, if you're getting like that, then it's more of an obsession that a relationship with him. Sometimes it's hard to see that, but maybe it'd be good to take a little time away from him. I know that sounds a little bizarre, but when jealousy likes this takes place it's not really healthy. For you or him. I actually respect when a guy can be like "wow she's hot" while I'm around. It makes me trust him even more knowing that he's being open but is still with me. Looks aren't everything when it comes to being in a relationship, it's more about a deeper connection. etc.

[katylaura]

it's normal to be a bit jealous, especially when he's referring to girls you two actually know. but you've got to be rational about it - he's with you. if he wanted to be with the other girls he would be. you don't mention that you've got any reason not to trust him to be faithful, so it does sound like you've got nothing to worry about. there must be guys out there who you think are attractive? it's the same thing, innocent and natural. if it's really bothering you, maybe you should tell him that while you understand he's going to find other girls cute, you don't like him pointing them out because it makes you feel jealous. he'll understand. and if not, just point out every hot guy you see to him - he'll soon get why you don't like it

[MOZZY10]

As you get older you'll be able to control your emotions, no need to be jealous as long as you have self belief & confidence in yourself. He might be doing this to irritate you though & make you feel like your not good enough for him, which keeps him on top in the relationship . . .

[pr3ttybr0wn]

flip the script and start commenting on how cute other guys are. he'll get it then

[smokahontas]

Honestly if its a girl on t.v, its reallt nothing to be jealous or feel bad about. He is with you and if he has been with you for a year, he loves you. My boyfriend is 'in love' with Anna Sophia Rob, he has pictures of her and watches all her movies but at the same time I know he can never get with her and I always just joke around with it and laugh about it, I never get jealous or mad :) But calling other girls cute out in public is something I would be upset about, thet would honestly make me a little jealous no lie.

[C0Y0TE859]

I agree with the other answer that said he's with you at the end of the day..it's normal to be jealous, sometimes you just can't help who you are. Just tell him to stop making comments like that. But they are harmless. I do the same thing and so does my girlfriend lol it's just a comment..nothing else. I'm sure he likes you the way you are. Don't worry about being "that" girl he comment's about. Obviously he liked YOU enough to date you so don't sweat it ;)

[Anonymous]

i can totally relate with you on this. my boyfriend always tells me that I should get "her" legs or "her" eyes...and it bothers me and makes me feel that he doesn't love me for who I am. he flirts a lot with this one girl that he goes to camp with but she lives like 2 hours away. and deep down if you know that he loves you, just try to ignore it. I've tried talking to my boyfriend about it and that seemed to make things die down a little bit when it came to comparing me to other girls. its a natural thing to be jealous and to flirt but if its wayy over the top then there might be some problems. just try to talk to him about it, and go from there. if he doesn't tone it down a little bit then just ignore it when it happens. if he sees a reaction from you he's only going to want to do it more...

[danndan6]

jealousy, anger and anxiety issues are highly influenced by attention. I say this having overcome numerous mental health issues which included self esteem, anxiety, jealousy and anger. when our attention control is developed we naturally reduce these negative feelings daily because we can more easily shift our attention at will and not feel as much of a pull in the other direction. mindfulness meditation is a great way of doing this. not the answer you want to hear? suite yourself

[NerdInDenial]

It's okay to be jealous, but at the end of the day, he's with you. Stop worrying about these "fake" girls and enjoy the time you are with him.

[Anonymous]

well imo that was an assy thing to say "I'd do her" rme I don't think that's cute or funny and obviously neither do you. it sounds like your guy doesn't bother to be even alittle thoughtful of your feelings maybe he likes seeing you this way and getting a rise out of you or maybe he just doesn't care enough about your feelings to act like he's got some sense.

just sayin' :\

good luck!

[justlilly]

It isn't nice of him to say girls are cute if it bothers you and it is disrespectful of him to say he would have sex with anyone to you

[Anonymous]

there are billions of females out there. do you think he's only attacted to one out of billions of girls? lol, don't be so naive. of course he gets turned on by other females. deal with it. by the way, it will get worse (since you get older/less attractive).

[paticake]

Let him know to keep it to himself that you are bothered by it and how it makes you feel. How would he like it if you pointed out every guy and said id do him or he's fine yum. Not cool

[Anonymous]

Start making little comments back and see how he likes it, he really shouldn't be being so disrespectful, I'd never accept this from my boyfriend and he knows that. Let him know how you feel.

[Alpha93]

Its normal to be a little jealous but you are blowing it way out of proportion

[Jager66]

because your insecure

[Phoenix52]

It's just GUY TALK. Get over it.