Why won't he make it official?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing this guy for quite sometime and we're basically boyfriend and girlfriend. He got really jealous when this guy was hitting on me on facebook. Then when I ask him about officially being with me he says "I don't know if I can handle a girlfriend." I don't understand. Nothing would be any different then it is now just by putting a label on it.

[Atomizer]

"basically boyfriend and girlfriend" is not the same thing as boyfriend and girlfriend.

putting the label on it is important because it means you two have discussed the subject and reached a mutual agreement. right now, you have not reached a mutual agreement with him about the status of your relationship. you two want different things.

"why?" questions generally make you feel like a helpless victim. rephrase the question with a "what" or "how", and focus on yourself.

"How can I respond to a guy who doesn't want to officially commit?"

"What are my options in this situation?"

Rephrasing the question will help you clear your thoughts, and will point towards a path of action you can take rather than sitting on your hands.

[MaxPrime]

lol ouch he wants a double standard on you...not cool. He needs to know that he can't treat you like this because it's simply not right. Let him know that you will not stick to this standard of his and you are not going to brush every guy off just for him if he isn't able to commit to you. BE HONEST AND SINCERE WITH HIM...not bitchy and whiney. Sit down with him and give him a serious talk about this.

[tuhiffuhney]

well, it seems he doesn't want to be "tied down".

he wants to be with you yet he ALSO wants to have that freedom he longs for.

it's kind of a selfish thing. he wants to do his own thing while you're sitting

on the side waiting on him hand and foot, but you can't do anything else with any

other guy because he'll get mad. if you don't want that then my suggestion would

be to find someone who won't be afraid to call you his girlfriend, but if you want

to stay with him that's completely fine too. just do whatever makes you happier.

if he was worth it, he'd think about you and your happiness before himself.

:)

[green08]

he wants to do whatever he wants but doesn't like it if you did the same thing...not cool...guys like that never change and won't make a commitment to you but want you to be committed to them...for some reason that makes them feel better

[Paigeheart]

He's ovisouly scared of commitment.give him some space for awhile.let him approach you next time you see him.good luck :)

[Lavawar]

Officially being a girlfriend? you mean being monogamous? Tell him you want that and if he doesn't then tell him you're not going to be one of many. Tell him since he's not your boyfriend there should be no reason for him to be jealous. That's just tough! you will look elsewhere.