Girls, if your boyfriend lost a fight, got his ass kicked, how would you react? would you lose attraction

[IHateBeingaMan]

for him? would it cause you to lose attraction for him? because if he lost a fight, wouldn't that imply that if he is unable to defend himself, how is he gonna be able to defend and protect you? I was at a Bar this year and saw a fight occur outside between a girls boyfriend and another guy, and the girls boyfriend lost the fight, and the girl ended up dumping him, I saw, witnessed it.

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+1 y

After all shouldn't fighting prove a guy is masculine, he has balls since fighting involves testosterone

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+1 y

because sometimes I feel like instigating a fight with a girls boyfriend out of jealousy and anger, especially if he is a talkative, loud-mouth, confident, leader, high-status type of guy, jock-type of guy, if only I was physically strong enough and invincible, basically it would be like revenge of the nice guys, revenge of the nerd, geek guys who never get laid

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+1 y

c'mon, you girls expect guys to be strong, tough, be your "rock", lead you all the damn time, take charge, take control

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+1 y

Often times I feel like going Saiyan angry

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+1 y

I get so jealous and angry when I see young teen and 20 something couples out there it makes me feel like physically assaulting the girls boyfriend

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+1 y

I just hate the way it is, hate the way things are that are beyond our control

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+1 y

I know I can't change this but I wish I can at least make an impact and mark on it, scar on it, hate, despise loathe gender roles with a huge raging passion, get sick and tired of how life, society, expects us guys to be so damn strong all the time, we get criticized for showing any form of weakness

[Warren]

Women don't like men who fight nearly as much as you seem to think they do. :p No girl that I've ever dated has enjoyed violence, that's for sure. Hell, my last girlfriend and I were out on a walk and she happened to laugh at something I said and some nearby kids mimicked her laugh. I looked over to see who it was and she --knowing I was armed and apparently thinking I was going to go over there and say something-- grabbed my arm and said "Don't."

I made some joke about how I wouldn't have gone over to 'em because you can't double tap 5 people with 7 rounds, but as she didn't see the humor in it I had to explain that I was just looking. Her concern wasn't that I wouldn't stand up for her "honor," but that I would. This mentality is in line with that of most women. If a woman wants you to hurt yourself or others in an attempt to stick up for her, to fight her battles, then she's not worth your time and she'll just get you into trouble. Trouble of the sort you really don't want to find yourself in.

[thatguy67]

I'd love to see you pull a gun on someone just for mimicking your date's laugh

[OpenClose]

I don't think I know a woman who would suddenly lose attraction if her boyfriend lost. There are very few women who actually give THAT much of a sh*t how physically competent he is. If she DOES hold him to that high and violent of a standard, she should probably take a few hits herself, and have nobody there to help HER. THEN let's see her judge him.

Most of the girls I know would rush to their boyfriend's aid, swarming him with kisses and a blanket or something. Women get the instinct to nurture something in the same way men get the instinct to protect. A wounded man is an opportunity, not a disappointment.

[OpenClose]

@Update: You know what also takes balls? The holocaust. Murder. Rape.

And you know what else? Taking a life challenge head-on. Saying I love you. Taking responsibilty for your mistakes.

Be careful what you assign to your "balls". People will try to make you do anything by saying you must do it to be a "real man". In south London, a girl won't consider a guy manly enough for her Unless he has stabbed someone to prove his "ability as a protector."

Don't listen to that dribble.

[IHateBeingaMan]

wow, a woman like that in London is like that?

[OpenClose]

Here's a link

@2nd Update:

That is not "revenge of the nice guys" that is "assimilation of a former nice-guy". Only hollywood films "redeem" a "pathetic virginal nice guy" by having him beat up a foe and f*** a nameless chick.

A man who kills a murderer is no less of a murderer himself.

[OpenClose]

Okay..I feel you dude about male gender roles and whatnot, but every time you update this question it sends a message to EVERYONE and it gets annoying.

[Anonymous]

If he started the fight, especially without any valid reason, whether he wins or loses I might break up with him. I don't like guys who recklessly endanger themselves. It's stupid, risky, and could endanger me as well.

If he was defending himself, that's different. I'd feel scared for him, angry at the guy beating him, and do my best to take care of my boyfriend. I think I would call the cops, and try to get people to help break it up or something. I just wouldn't want him hurt. No, it doesn't affect my attraction or love for him. The other guy's a psycho idiot, and no one can defend themselves from everything/everyone.

[Prof_Don]

I don't get why this was thumbed down *shrugs*

[MrAtticusLebowski]

i don't get it either, seems like a reasonable response.

[lachrymaImplant]

this answer must have been rated down by macho a**holes

[IHateBeingaMan]

yeah well you girls want the alpha male after all

[dunfriendme]

No. That is not how women measure worth of a guys manhood and power.

That is how men measure each other.

This is the same situation, where you see women dressing up and comparing themselves to other women, while ignoring what men think. When in reality no guy wants you to be anorexic, or wear 3 layers of paint on your face.

Don't presume women think about men, the way men think about men.

[dunfriendme]

To the update: Yes and no considering one basic claim: Women are attracted to power.

Yes, because it is a realistic and pragmatic display of "badassery", being able to protect your girl. Don't make a mistake, that IS attractive.

But as much as male strength is attractive, among humans, this is not the most important form of power. The most important form is intelligence. So fighting randomly, or fighting without reason makes you stupid, therefore weak, no matter how strong you are physically.

[OpenClose]

Yes, thank you! So much of our gender expectations are imposed on each other more than the other gender.

[Meedo]

Best answer right here ! extremely intelligent as well.

[IHateBeingaMan]

yeah well sometimes I feel like fighting to release my anger and frustration on how unfair life is

[dunfriendme]

Then find a good and a healthy outlet. Join a martial arts club. I recommend MMA, or kickboxing. You'll blow off some steam and you they'll definitely beat all that anger crap out of you. ;)

[IHateBeingaMan]

I hit the punching bag at the gym

[dunfriendme]

(imagine this in a Bruce Lee accent) -> Bags don't punch back...

Trust me, if you have anger and frustration in you, nothing can replace sparring. There is something special about human contact in this manner. I've seen those guys shake like twigs when they step in the ring or get angry as hell, yet show so much honor and respect by the end of it, it's obvious they've experienced something only fighters can understand. Bag is good, but I stand by what I said before. ^^

[IHateBeingaMan]

yeah I agree with that, hitting a human being would feel better

[dunfriendme]

It's not about sadism. It's about competition and interaction with another human being.

[dunfriendme]

To the update: Yes. Is there a problem with that?

[IHateBeingaMan]

well I hate the way it is

[dunfriendme]

You hate gender roles? You hate the effort girls expect of you? Or you hate their lack?

Don't be so vague, write your thoughts more clearly.

[dunfriendme]

Gender roles have nothing to do with societies expectations of you, those are mostly gender stereotypes, not gender roles. Gender roles only relate to your duty and behavior as a man towards your loved ones.

[AlexiaK]

My boyfriend has lost a fight pretty badly to my ex in front of me. At the end he was begging for mercy, and during the whole fight he had no chance, beacuse my ex is a black belt in karate. I have to confess that my attraction to my boyfriend is now much less strong. I just didn't expect hin to be so powerless and to be like that at the end. I feel guilty about that, but I can't help it!

[Becky_931]

Girl that just happened to my boyfriend with my ex

[Amiapowerlessman]

For being so powerless you should have sent him a video of your ex grabbing that 🍑 I mean what’s your boyfriend gonna do your ex already mailed him

[Amiapowerlessman]

@Becky_931 you shoulda walked off with you ex and left that powerless man on the ground

[Anonymous]

Most sober people start fights if they're confident they can win or they're confident the guy will just walk away, thus making them look good. In any case they are still in high school mentally and I don't know if many grown women find that attractive.

Either way, it's a form of bullying and it's pretty cowardly actually. By all means beat some douche bag up in self-defense but don't go around picking fights. I've seen a lot of instances where the loudest talker was the weakest fighter...he puts up a front and it backfires when he messes with the guys who keep quiet because they don't have to prove they can fight.

[front2back]

Lose or win, he was fighting in the first place. He was so insecure about his damn manhood and ego that he has to prove himself to others by fighting. Instead of being a man and solving his issues by talking them out and giving a firm handshake, he had no self-control and tried to hit a guy instead. Even if the guy was talking sh*t, a real man wouldn't care. People talk sh*t to see if you are weak enough to give in and try to fight him.

If it was self-defense, as in the guy came after him, this is a different story.

[Tycho]

Depends how the fight arose and who provoked it. If it was over something stupid and petty, probably. If it was out of defense, I'd probably comfort him. Although fighting in any given situation doesn't solve anything. So, I would be upset, but probably get over it. It's nothing to break up over if it wasn't his fault, whether he "won" or not. That's not really important.

[IHateBeingaMan]

women want the alpha male

[SweetTeaGirl]

If my boyfriend got his ass whooped, I wouldn't think of leaving him. I would get my slab of meat or whatever and patch him up. I'd probably make some pretty horrible cooing noises and cradle his head in my lap... It would be like a super cheesy scene from a movie.

[SweetTeaGirl]

I'm not gonna deny that being around my boyfriend makes me feel really safe, but I know he isn't invincible. But girls like to feel like we can take care of our boys. We like to feel needed, too.

[IHateBeingaMan]

yeah well its generally expected that guys are expected to be the "rock" in the relationship

[SweetTeaGirl]

I think you have really skewed ideas of a relationship. Both people have to give and both get to take in all areas. Personally, I hate it when guys are over-protective. Women are people, we can take care of ourselves. A bar fight isn't going to prove who is good boyfriend material. Have you ever even had a girlfriend who like... stayed with you? You're kinda sexist...

[IHateBeingaMan]

no I asked this question because I'm bitter and angry, frustrated on how I was dealt with the card for it being the guys role to do the initiating

[SweetTeaGirl]

You just changed what you were talking about. Guys being the "rock" vs. guys initiating. It's two separate matters. As far as the societal norm that guys have to initiate something, if a girl likes you enough, she won't wait for you to initiate unless she's shy, in which case that's not really about you being a guy and her being a girl. And the internet tells girls that guys like it when we make the first move, so the norm is changing.

[IHateBeingaMan]

true but it's still very rare for a girl to initiate contact, start a conversation or approach a guy first, progress things forward

[SweetTeaGirl]

That is difficult in today's culture, but it's because of the oppression of women in the past. In a hundred years or so we should be okay. For now, just try to find a girl that you can really connect to and communicate with and then you'll have less of the classic male burden on you.

[IHateBeingaMan]

I just hate it when girls always make the argument "guys are hunters, the guy is the hunter"

[SweetTeaGirl]

I have never know a girl to make that "argument." What kind of girls are you trying to get with? My best friend told me that she wishes she'd asked her boyfriend out instead of the other way around, and me and my boyfriend's relationship is exactly equal. What is a "hunter" anyways?

[IHateBeingaMan]

well they use that excuse to say as to why they would never approach a guy or ask him out first

[UnderDriven]

Any man can lose a fight if his opponent is superior at that moment in time. The more important issue is who started the fight, why it started, and whether it was avoidable...

"Learn more ways to preserve rather than destroy. Avoid rather than check. Check rather than hurt. Hurt rather than maim. Maim rather than kill. For all life is precious nor can any be replaced." --Master Kan, from the TV series "Kung Fu"

[Musicforlife1022]

If it were me, I wouldn't care if we won or lost a fight I would just want him to be OK, and not hurt. For some girls it's different though. Some girls think that if their boyfriend loses a fight then he's a dumbass and can't do anything. But in my personal opinion I wouldn't worry about who won or lost the fight I would worry about whether or not he got hurt. Hope this helped :)

[eveline]

Depends on the individual most girls would dump a guy because of the mind set you mention. Other would dump the guy because they got in the fight and even if their lover would have won they would of still dump them; because some women honestly do hate / fear violence .

[Electric_Dreams]

If she dumped him simply because he lost a fight, then what a bloody... Its that word I don't like to use. Anyway then again there could be more to the story like he had cheated and was fighting the other guy cos he let the cat outta the bag, or that he was abusive to her but then she saw him having to actually fight for once and saw him get beat and realized how pathetic he was. It's all speculation though isn't it...

[sissyskank]

Well one of my ex bfs got his ass whooped and I was trying to shout at the guy and his girlfriend gave me a beating and my ex dumped me for butting in! You can't win but I would always stick up for my bf

[IHateBeingaMan]

how were you shouting at the guy? why does a girl stick up for her guy? when its the guy that is supposed to take on the protective role?

[sissyskank]

I was shouting and squealing to get off my boyfriend and was pulling at him that's when his girl dragged me by my hair and pulled me about

[IHateBeingaMan]

why did you stick up for him? isn't the guy supposed to be the sticker upper?

[sissyskank]

He was getting hit and I know he can't fight so I tried to stop it that's what I thought was what a girlfriend does

[IHateBeingaMan]

No girls expect guys to lead all the damn fuckin' time!

[angrychick]

With that type of sh*tty attitude, how can you even WONDER why the girl prefers them over you? Fix that. Please don't take offense to this, it's constructive criticism.

[IHateBeingaMan]

yeah well I hate how us guys are always expected to do the approaching, asking out, leading, so I just want to show the world, life and society how pissed I am for being how unfair it is

[angrychick]

life is unfair. its unfair that I have a small ass and t*ts so I have to be smart to make myself somewhat attractive, when dumb girls can walk around not even knowing how to add 7+3 but get all the damn attention. there's no point in moping about it bud, its a waste of time. I've done it too. maybe you'll find the right one for you, who doesn't expect those things. not everyone's the same. I'm living proof of a female who doesn't expect those things. I approached my man. its all just personality type

[IHateBeingaMan]

well god bless you

[COCOCHANEL]

no I would be thrilled. my biggest fantasy is to nurse my boyfriend back to health when he's beaten up and helpless. oh how I long for the chance.

[BobbyD]

then you'd salvage his organs and sell them, ya weirdo

[COCOCHANEL]

um no

[IHateBeingaMan]

Lol girls expect guys to take care of them not vice-versa

[COCOCHANEL]

i don't expect that of guys. I don't have the "i want to be protected" wish.

[lachrymaImplant]

@Question Asker

guys just want to be dominant. we know we want to be heroes. if girls expect us to protect them actually we should thank them for making our dreams come true. that is why guys keep trying to unleash things that can scare girls.

[musicbrain5]

Honestly, that's a stupid reason to break up with someone. I wouldn't dump my guy because he got into a fight.

[musicbrain5]

It doesn't really matter to me whether or not he is a good fighter, or if he has the balls to fight or whatever. I don't NEED him to defend me, especially since I have many years of martial arts training under my belt (no pun intended... okay maybe, lol). If anything, I think we can protect each other.

[IHateBeingaMan]

you sure? because women expect men to protect and provide for them

[musicbrain5]

Pretty sure I can protect, defend, and take care of myself, yeah. I don't understand why girls are so dependent on guys providing for them etc (um, just get a sugar daddy or something then, idk), just like I don't understand why so many guys feel the need to white knight every girl they encounter.

[IHateBeingaMan]

I think its more the girls that want it that way than the guys do

[musicbrain5]

Maybe some but certainly not all.

[IHateBeingaMan]

well too many girls expect and want the guy to wear the pants in the relationship, be the dominant one, lead it

[musicbrain5]

That's because the lot of them are generally immature and they want everyone to lead them along like a dog, not just in relationships either but in all aspects of life.

[IHateBeingaMan]

that's what makes me mad about a lot of women, well those type of women

[musicbrain5]

If you have such strong urges to fight, why not take martial arts classes like Judo (I do Judo and it's great for channeling those urges), or MMA, or even just boxing or wrestling? It's not worth it to risk an assault charge.

[IHateBeingaMan]

yeah maybe I should

[imuimu]

really depends on why he started that fight - if it was to protect his girlfriend, no, I'll like him even more. If for any other stupid reasons, it says he has a weak self control and bad physic, neither of which is good.

[IHateBeingaMan]

what if he lost the fight trying to protect his girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Haha, reading the responses, I don't know if my words had any effect on a girl after I beat up her douche bag boyfriend. He tried to fight me in some road rage thing and when he sitting on the ground coming to, I went up to his truck where she was sitting and told her "You should brush up on your self-defense and protect your bitch of a boyfriend. I could be having my way with you right now."

[Anonymous]

It would depend what the fight was about and if it was his fault or not. If it was justified I would nurse his wounds and would show him that I would be by his side.

[IHateBeingaMan]

lol isn't the guy supposed to take care of the girl and not vice-versa?

[Opinion Owner]

In my book they are both supposed to take care of one another, that is why they are a couple (grouped together).

[IHateBeingaMan]

well that's what many people argue, they say the guy is supposed to be the "rock" in the relationship

[angrychick]

For me, it only depends on his attitude. If my man was acting like he was some tough badass who can wreck anybody, and then lost, I'd be unattracted (but I wouldn't be with that kind of guy anyway). Probably would wait for his wounds to heal before I hurt his sh*t ego even more by dumping him immediately lol. But if it were my current man, didn't act cocky, and did lose a fight, I would be by his side and tend to his damages, and try to help him feel the least amount of embarrassment.

[IHateBeingaMan]

why? isn't the guy supposed to take care of the girl and not vice-versa?

[angrychick]

yea but no matter how tough and willing to protect, doesn't mean you're going to WIN. there's always someone bigger and tougher than the rest, somewhere out there. my point is, if my boyfriend was NOT a douche bag going around starting fights, but only got into a physical altercation for a VALID reason like protection attempt, or the guy provoked him several times, then I would stand by my man's side and take care of him no matter what. IF my boyfriend was the one who provoked it, AND then lost,

[angrychick]

then that's another story. lol

[IHateBeingaMan]

still some guys hate how life and society expects them to toughen it up all the time by being assertive that they just have to pound somebody to let all that anger out

[angrychick]

ok

[IHateBeingaMan]

yeah that gets annoying

[angrychick]

ok.

[Anonymous]

Man you're still on this? I asked this question link 2 months ago. I don't think you're going to be convinced otherwise that a girl probably wouldn't leave a guy if he lost a fight

I

[Opinion Owner]

You win some you lose some. I bet if I put you up against ten different guys youd at least lose to one guy

[xzinax2]

if he started the fight,no matter the outcome-dump him.

[lachrymaImplant]

if he attacked a guy who had raped you?

[xzinax2]

same. jail exists for a reason,even if it fails,hitting is just another crime

[Tycho]

Wow.

[bonniebrooks]

No, sometimes they win sometimes loose a true lady will always admire the man she loves whether he wins a fight or not, its what's in the heart and mind that matters not the muscle, that was only in prehistoric times we looked for that.

[lachrymaImplant]

very true

[IHateBeingaMan]

yeah but women in today still expect men to be dominant, alpha, leader in today's society, and yet that was during prehistoric times

[lachrymaImplant]

@Question Asker

or in a different form, men want to be dominant. and expect women to be less dominant. whenever a man finds a woman who is more helpful and stronger than him, he feels intimidated. especially if she can't be lectured due to her smartness and assertiveness. this dominant woman is a type of woman whom every man doesn't want to be with... even if she is kind.

...because men themselves are the only humans who can't live without leadership/domination at least on one person.

[lachrymaImplant]

tons of women actually have good heart to heal and take care about their men even if they know they are weaker. and I don't know why mass medias hate to reveal this.

[Anonymous]

Only a bitch would do that. Girls don't like guys who fight at all, so for him to get into a bar fight was trashy. It sounds cliche but a guy who is mature enough to talk through things instead of fighting is hot. But if it was out of self defense that he got into the fight and he lost, the girl would care for him and be mad at the other guy who attacked her boyfriend.

[IHateBeingaMan]

how? aren't men supposed to be dominant?