If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best!

[Anonymous]

This summer is finally coming to an end. However, this summer was really special for me because I learned something very important: DON'T CHANGE YOURSELF FOR ANYBODY!

This summer everything changed. I did something I'd never thought that I'd ever do: I became pretty. My whole entire life I've been "the ugly friend". By that I mean that I was always unattractive, yet I had attractive friends. While my friends were tall, skinny, had perfect hair, and were super mature, I was the complete opposite. I'm short, I was chubby, my hair was a constant mess, and I was an immature tomboy. While my friends were wearing crop tops, I was in t-shirts. While they were getting their nails done, I was playing video games with my guy friends.

This summer I met a guy. He was attractive, athletic, intelligent, and very popular. At that's when I completely changed. I wanted to impress this guy so much that I changed my entire look. I changed my whole wardrobe and even bought some skirts, I dyed my hair purple and got a cute hairstyle, I started painting my nails, I started wearing jewelery more, and I started wearing makeup. I even lost a lot of weight from pedaling my bike all around town to meet up with my friends. For a while I did get attention from some guys. My crush started flirting with me, a few other guys asked me for my number, some guy asked me out sevral times, and some other guy randomly kissed me.

I thought things were going great. After a few weeks I started reverting back to my old self. I switched my skirts for my old skinny jeans, my crop tops for t-shirts, and my purple hair to my old brown hair. My crush hasn't talked to me since, and the other guys stopped texting and calling me and instead tried flirting with my best friend. I didn't understand why they suddenly didn't like me. I was the same me, but now I just wasn't "pretty" anymore. It hurt at first, but then I realized that they didn't deserve me. I was a good person, a good friend, and I was pretty damn beautiful on the inside. Not only that, I liked my old self. I liked wearing my skinny jeans and t-shirts, and my messy hair, and playing football and video games with the guys. I liked being the real me, even if other people told me that I was unattractive.

So if they only liked me for my looks, then they weren't worth changing for. Don't ever change your appearance or personality for someone else, because someone who truly values you will love you as you are. I had to learn that the hard way. I just hope the rest of you don't have to.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I don't completely agree with this: to tell yourself to NEVER change is to limit yourself and prevent personal growth. There's nothing wrong with wanting to work on your physical attractiveness, because contrary to popular belief, it isn't completely shallow to want to be with somebody who cares about their appearance. On the other hand, if people ONLY care about your looks and nothing else, I get it. But on the same note once again, it isn't a crime to want to be attracted to a potential partner. What's wrong is trying to forcibly change someone to fit your preferences.

Like I said, there's nothing wrong with change; sometimes changing things about yourself is more to your benefit than anybody. There's a saying that goes: "Being yourself doesn't help if you're an asshole." I'm not calling you an asshole of course, but working out and experimenting with your style is completely healthy and more to your benefit than some guy - mind you, you should always do this for YOU and not some boy at school, but it still benefited you because A: you got healthier (I assume) and B: you discovered that your style is tomboyish and that you're not into crop tops and skirts and never will be - you experimented and you learned.

I'm not telling you to change yourself for other people, but change and personal growth isn't to be mixed up with not being true to yourself. Sometimes, change is better than the person we find ourselves refusing to change.

[abzence]

I guess I would agree with many things but not the "because someone who truly values you will love you as you are."

That is a romantic idea.
It's also saying that I should be able to behave in any way I like, dress in dirty clothes and other people should just accept that, and like and love me for it. It's an excuse not to acknowledge your own flaws and never improve as a person.

It's also the idea that a person in its appearance and behavior somehow is static and there's somewhere a "true" or "correct" self. This usually comes from not wanting to step out of ones comfort zone. Where what is within the comfort zone is considered the "true" self and what is beyond that zone is considered something else.

I think we should welcome change and try to evolve as a person. What I think is important isn't that we are changing or for what person or what reason. The important thing is whether we are changing into something better or worse, something constructive instead of destructive.

[Anonymous]

It depends on your experience, if you change to something that you aren't you aren't gonna be happy and you will just change back. As for those guys too by the way that was because u changed back not cause they think ur ugly I would say it's more a case of u stopped trying and caring what you look like and nobody wants to be involved with people like that, if u look a mess when u go out what are u like in private? Even worse? See what I mean it gives a bad perception. You have to change in life evolve and grow, I made some huge changes in myself a few years back, I was a fat guy with few friends. I went to the gym, I train 2 a day and I lost tons of weight and I went from that fat guy to that guy at school is by quite a margin the most muscular and leanest, I get more attention, I got more confidence and I am a better version of myself because I was willing to change to improve. So I changed from being fat, low self esteem guy to someone who is pretty lean and big and have loads of friends because I have confidence to talk to more people

[pinkbubble]

I like your take , last week i plucked my eyebrows and dyed my hair to impress my boyfriend , he liked my hair but he said that i dont look cute anymore after plucking my eyebrows ( he prefered them thick ) then i realized he liked me as me , i did not have to change , while i thought i should so he will like me more , but i shouldn't change anything cuz he loves me for me ; it was a good experience and i think no one worth changing for him or her cuz someone who loves you doesn't care about ur look ^^

[takumii]

"DON'T CHANGE YOURSELF FOR ANYBODY!"

Why don't you start shitting in your underwear once again, since you were born like that , why change?

One always strives to be perfect, it's a perfectly normal human quality, we want to be at our bests. And one has to change oneself to get better, and if someone refuses to change themselves, then it means they think they are perfect. Which results in ego.
For some people, some people mean the world to them. My parents mean the world to me, and I am ready to change some of my things if they don't like it. That's how love works.. understanding, not retaliation. Humility, not ego.

[ThisDudeHere]

I couldn't have said it any better.

[longjohndan]

I see girls say this crap from time to time. It's usually used as an excuse for them acting like dumbasses and then expecting the guy to just deal with it. In this case, I don't know. On one hand I think to myself, have a little pride, take care of yourself. On the other hand, if your leading a good lifestyle, healthy and you are happy with where you're at... maybe you're right.

[myTake Owner]

I see what you're saying 100%. I've seen girls use quotes like this as an excuse to do a lot of dumb shit. I sort of interpreted it differently.

[Octavius]

"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best!"

Sorry but most people I have ever heard this from were very self centered narcissistic shallow people who say it to make everyone put up with their awful behavior. It comes off as nothing more than being overly entitled.

In most cases they aren't dumping the person because of their worst they're dumping them because even their best is mediocre.

[VampireEmpress]

the title is misleading. I thought that's what it meant too, but she says she changed her whole look for a guy, and he didn't like it.

[Octavius]

@VampireEmpress Yes, those guys are jerks but that doesn't change how horribly flawed of a statement that is.

chopperpapa.com/.../

[Anonymous]

For those of you who don't know this is the full quote:
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...41cb93a8d0.jpg

If you're going to quote Marilyn Monroe at least use the full quote, because it's no reason for anyone to have to put up with a self-entitled asshole.

"If I can't accept you at your worst, then maybe you should stop being so horrible"

[myTake Owner]

Wow. That's the full quote, which I've already read, but it's not even by Marilyn Monroe. People just slap her name and her picture on quotes and then it becomes popular. This whole take isn't about being a self-entitled asshole, I'ts about accepting yourself as you truly are and not feeling the need to become someone that you're not for someone else.

[Opinion Owner]

I read your take, you should have gone with something like "Don't change yourself for anyone" not about people not accepting you at your worst and yes Marilyn Monroe did say it.

[myTake Owner]

No she didn't but I see where you're coming from with the title thing.

[Opinion Owner]

Feel free to look it up or say who made it then.
www.goodreads.com/.../8630-i-m-selfish-impatient-and-a-little-insecure-i-make-mistakes

[myTake Owner]

Read this: thoughtcatalog.com/.../

[Anonymous]

Normal people care about looks. Some care only about looks. Ones you'd actually want to date care about looks and personality.

It's not noble to not care about your partners appearance. It's shallow in a different way.

You should want a guy who admires your mind, enjoys your company and finds you hot. All three.

[Stacyzee]

The message of this couldn't be more true.
Never change yourself to make others happy.
You're living a lie if you do.
You're not being yourself.
And you're making yourself unhappy in the process for other people's joy.

[Unit1]

If that is what makes someone happy - sure go for it

It makes me happy too! I will never change. I will stay true to myself because that's all I have left.

[John_Doesnt]

Then I guess I'm destined to be alone because everyone has told me I need to change myself if I want friends.

[OpenWine]

Good topic for girls, also the reason I try to show personality when hanging out with people, some already start hating me lol