Trigger warning, I talk about depression, suicide and my father beating me.
I have had a pretty messed up family and childhood. As a young girl, her father is her most important role model. For young boys, their father is their example. A father show's his daughter how a woman should be treated and what a real man acts like. A father show's his son what a real man does and how he should properly act. If a girl sleeps around, she must have daddy issues. Daddy issues mean that our father emotionally/physically/mentally scarred us, whether it was by beaing left, being beaten, being called names every day, manipulated or worse. Daddy issues are not where a girl is mad at her dad for not getting her the phone she wanted. 
People joke about daddy issues, especially if a person distrusts other people/men. A father is a role model for his son/daughter. Having daddy issues lead to many negative things, depression, suicidal tendencies, trust issues, being frightened when men raise their voice/hand or evem simply picking men who don't treat them right. A girl is supposed to look up to their father, see how he should treat women. That's why women sometimes enjoy when a man reminds them of their father.
My father was my role model for most of my life, even though I loved my mother dearly. I always missed my mom, made things for her and called her if I had a nightmare. My father raised me once I was 4 until a month before I turned 16. He provided good schools, clothes, food and shelter for me. I was grateful and I appreciated it all, I told him and his wife that at least twice a week.
As some of you may well know, I was neglected and abused. My father first started out by simply taking away all my priveleges for very small reasons. If I didn't do the dishes his way then he'd take my phone, I can't watch tv and he'd remove all the books I have from my room and I can't read. Then he started on insulting me. He'd call me a little bitch, fucking annoying, etc. This all started when I was 14 and it was sparce at first but got worse. I am passionate about writing and I want to travel the world after college so I can write as I travel and take photos everywhere I go. I love to learn and meet new people, but my father told me that it was stupid, my writing was shit and my dreams were idiotic.
As someone who was already depressed enough, that didn't help too much. My friends Hope and Hailey were the only people I had that supported me to keep going and didn't let my sadness get them down too. They stuck with me when I wasn't even acting myself.
They knew what my father has said and done, but only part of it. Instead of taking me to the doctor or a therapist when he found out I was suicidal, he took me to his garage, handed me his knife and told me to slit my wrists. He left and locked me in there and I said something I never said to his face before, with tears streaming down my face. "Fuck you Dad." I threw the knife down and cried while he came back in screaming at me, for giving him his first official "Fuck you" from me.
I was always a good kid. I always got passing grades, As and Bs (sometimes a C or 2) and I didn't hang out with the 'wrong crowd'. My friends were lame and nice like me, and I'd rarely get a chance he let me leave the house to hang out with him. He'd tell me I had to leave the house more but then he wouldn't let me go whenever I asked. He told me I needed more friends but then he would take away the computer and my phone and never even let me go to any birthday parties or bonfires. Because of him I was a very sheltered child.
My friends will talk about whatever is going on in their life and I'm just sitting there like "Yea I don't know, I've never done ____". I used to get bullied severely as a kid and my dad even knew, but he didn't do anything. He told me to hit them but I am a sweet person and once again, I was a goody-goody. I was bullied from kindergarten up until tenth grade. It had a major impact on my self worth, making me think I had none.
My father never helped with that later on either. He teased me for my acne, for eating a lot (I love to eat) and for being fat (I weighed 95 pounds because of him and I was 15.) and he'd tease me for reading a lot or staying in my room a lot. I never wanted to leave my room because of him. I ended up eating less, not purposefully starving myself but I was just never hungry. I also had bad acne because I was so stressed and the more stressed he made me, the worse my anxiety and acne got. He would hear me crying and then yell at me to stop crying, which only made me cry harder.
Since I was a kid he'd tell me bad stories about my mom, tell me "If you go live with your mother, I'm not helping you pay for college, a car, a house or anything." And that was when I was only 10 or so.
A girls relationship with her father is important. It isn't funny when someone jokes about a ho hoing around because of daddy issues. I'm a virign with only 2 irl boyfriends to my name. They both lasted a little more/less than 6 months because of my father. I even found an online boyfriend whom I loved more than anything, my first true love. I had to keep him a secret because my dad would beat me, and he helped me throughout the depression due to my father. I would sit in my room on my bed and pretend I'm doing my homework-naturally it was already done- and I'd text my boyfriend so I don't cry.
He was my 15-16 year old love, the one I will remember once I'm married with children. Well the last night I was with my father, he grabbed and twisted my arm, flipped me on my belly and just started beating my back and my bottom with his [leather] belt. He caused multiple welts along my lower back and bottom, and severe bruising on my bottom and thigh. He even used the metal part and caused a few cuts to bleed. Once he finished yelling and beating me, he draggedd me by my hair into his bedroom an threw me to the floor, causing to scrape up the top of my foot and a cut on my ankle. Then he proceeded to yell at me calling me a disgrace, an ungrateful cunt, a stupid bitch, a fucking twat. He called me a carpet muncher (because I am not straight). His wife said "I'm afriad to leave for work cause I don't know if I'll end up getting a call that he's arrested while your dead body is on the floor."
I didn't care at this point. I gave up. I just stood there, having the yells and threats go in one ear and out the other, looking down so I could pretend I wasn't rolling my eyes mentally and on the verge of tears.
My mother taught me to be strong while my father manipulated and lied to me all my life. My father was the most important part of my life for a long time. I never wish harm upon anyone (except rapists and murderers) and I never hated anyone as strongly as I hate my father. I should not have to think of my father as simply a sperm donor.
Daddy issues caused me to just want attention from anyone, gave me depression, anxiety, a fucking eating disorder, suicidal tendencies and mental/physical scarring that will never go away. Having daddy issues isn't something to fucking joke around about or laugh at. Nobody should have fucking daddy issues. Whether he beats you or left when you were 2 or you never even met him. Daddy issues are not fucking something to want.
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