More Help for Guys Navigating the Games Girls Play

[pavlove]

I think one thing that bonds all guys together is that we had seeing a girl play a guy like a well strung violin. It makes us sad for our gender when this occurs and it is for this reason I think we need as more takes about Girl's Games. Now, this comes with the caveat of not getting paranoid, becaues that can happen. But, at the same time, if you're totally ignorant you will inevitably get played...

"Buy Into What I'm Hinting At" Game

When a guy is trying to corrupt your mind he's not very subtle about it. He'll just keep talking and talking until he feels you're convinced possibly pulling back only to corrupt other girls at the same time. With a girl, she'll often hint at something and hope that you form the conclusion she wants you to. This is a bit more complex so I'll give an example.

Him: The way you were looking at him at that party! You looked like a slut! What's wrong with you??

Her: You're just jealous!

Him: Of what???!

Her: .....

Here, if it were reversed if a guy wanted a girl to think she was just being insecure he'd say "you're just being insecure" but here a lot of girls will take it a step further than a lot of guys. See, in that pause, a guy can think a million million things and will 9 out 10 times land on the most painful. What is he jealous of? Jealous as in protective of her? Maybe. But let's think of something more hurtful...what if he is jealous...of the other guy because he clearly has something that the guy doesn't and the guy looks even more stupid by asking what he should be jealous of. In this way, a girl often baits you into revealing to her your own worst fears by leaving things open ended through hinting and never outright saying...creating a panic.

Counter: Once you start guessing at what she meant at something you've already lost. Never guess anything when it comes to dating and honestly if this game is being constantly played just leave because you can't force a girl to grow up.

"Magical Bubble" Game

Girls are often both horribly insecure and fiercely confident at the same time. This is because they develop a protective bubble of either thirsty guys, good friends, and protective family members who tell her "it's not her fault" and talk crap about the guy even if it's extremely clear that she's being the jerk in the situation. If you get past this bubble, and it can be done, she's often not sure about anything especially her self worth, but if you don't then no matter she will have friends who will take her side even if she were to cheat on you. A real guy friend will tell you the truth to make you more of a man, but I don't see this very often among even the best of female friends.

Counter: Just be polite. Don't try to be their close friends and certainly don't make enemies. The ideal isn't for them to love you but for them to feel neutrally towards you in a slightly positive way. The goal is to avoid drama at all costs. The Magical Bubble is a thing that's just there. You respect the bubble and don't try to tamper with it. Make sure you have your alone time with just the two fo you as that will create a bubble to protect you from them should they ever try to attack you through telling her that you're not right for her.

"Every Girl has a Bad Side"

[ThisDudeHere]

If refusing to play/ navigate through women's games means I'll stay alone for longer until I find someone that doesn't play then so be it. I don't need bullshit in my life.

[pavlove]

good man

[shortandsweet24]

And, is there any help for girls who need to navigate some of the games that quite a few men play? :(

[pavlove]

that's a good one! I'll get to writing!

[shortandsweet24]

Thank you. I appreciate it. If you need any examples or info, I just got out of a situation with a true honest to goodness player. He is so good. I believed every word he said. :P

[questonin]

what game do we play?

[shortandsweet24]

@questonin Not all guys. Just the select few that are talented at it. And, there are a few games that those men enjoy.

[Dipsy]

What kind of games?

[CancerianMan81]

some men don't care to play games especially in a relationship

[CancerianMan81]

when a woman starts playing games I push her far away from me

[CancerianMan81]

cause it shows that she don't care about me or the relationship at all

[CancerianMan81]

and it also shows that she value's herself more than anybody else

[shortandsweet24]

@CancerianMan81 Those are the guys I would like to meet. :P

[shortandsweet24]

@CancerianMan81 You have a good point. Those women are awful but, I can asssure you there are some of us who want honesty and simplicity as much as some guys. :)

[CancerianMan81]

well i know that and me personally i can't stand a woman that is shallow

[CancerianMan81]

that tells me she thinks very little of anything to me you have got to have substance

[CancerianMan81]

solidarity itself is the backbone of the relationship

[CancerianMan81]

and by the way I'm one of those guys

[shortandsweet24]

@CancerianMan81 Well, then, it's nice to meet you. And, trust me. Those girls make me uncomfortable and annoyed. They need to open up their minds and their hearts a little bit...

[CancerianMan81]

I totally agree

[benthurber]

@shortandsweet24 Just figure out what your weaknesses are and be on guard for those who prey off of them. The hardest part to accept about being played is not that they were "good at it," it's that you were easy.

[shortandsweet24]

@benthurber I know. That's why I am currently kicking myself for believing the guy I was just with. He knew that I was looking for a nice guy and he played that role perfectly. :(

[benthurber]

Not saying you definitely are or aren't, but consider the possibility that you may not be subconsciously looking for a nice guy. You might instead be looking to continue a pattern that can reach back into childhood.

I thought my ex was the most perfect woman in the world for me... "She's just got a few problems, is all..."

After the devastation settled and I really searched what was going on with me, I figured out that's exactly what I did. Now I'm being more objective instead of chasing whatever feels good or comfortable. Suddenly, I'm noticing some girls that I would have ignored because "they just weren't right."

You know what's funny? Those girls who "just weren't right" are some of the kindest, sweetest, and gentlest persons I've ever met. And I need that in my life. (Bonus: they're also pretty darn good looking when you get right down to it.) :)

I'm finding myself increasingly attracted to them, so I'm going to give them my attention until I find a good one to wife up. :)

[shortandsweet24]

@benthurber I am studying psychology, myself. So, I know the theory of wanting to find a guy, but choosing the wrong one as an unconscious negative.

Though, I honestly do want to find a good man who treats me well. I just tend to want to find the good in people so much that I sometimes overlook flaws. And, I cared for him. So, I ignored the small negative details because I thought that he did care about me.

I admit that I was wrong... :(

[benthurber]

You may have made a mistake, but you don't get to call yourself "wrong" when the other person played you. He was wrong.

But if you don't learn from that, only then you can start to beat yourself up a little.

[shortandsweet24]

@benthurber I have learned from it. But, killing the attraction to someone is harder than losing respect for them is... :(

[benthurber]

Just picture him wearing an extra-floofy pink tutu every time he creeps back in. Orchestrate a ballet (complete with gaudy makeup) for him if it's persistent. Laugh yourself silly over the absurdity and it'll help the time pass.

Laughter does a lot and this won't go away overnight. I'm sure you can explain how what I'm suggesting works, but it does. Apply it.

[shortandsweet24]

@benthurber That's actually perfect since he manages a ballet co. Hahaha! 😋

Thank you. I appreciate your help. Thank you. :)

[benthurber]

Oh, geeze! As a ballroom dancer for seven years and counting, I'm pretty aware of the dance community. You will never meet anyone as good at selling fantasy as someone successful in the 'business' of dance. And their tactics are almost the same as any player.

[shortandsweet24]

@benthurber Yes. He's a successful manager and producer in his field. Well, he does quite alright for himself. Not a top of the line show but, it draws a crowd.

I found myself learning to counter his moves but, in the end if the relationship, I still found myself outdone. He was too good. :P

[utopianromance]

Too many words. I've heard it all before, if aerosmith didn't ruin the word "Jaded" and if the word "anguish" didn't sound so god dambed desperate they would describe me to a T, and I feel because everyone should know apathy is just a front - I have involunterily given up trying to understand life in general, its too fucking complicated. It shouldn't be this complicated, at first glance I dont understand how something like an intimate relationship with an attracrive desirable suitable member of the opposite sex has become such an arduous task such a convoluded esoteric such a mess dumbed down and complicated sumultaneously, a drive that is so instinctual, beautiful, and necessary for most young poeple to be healthy emotionally, physically, and spiritually... yet... we have these rivers of shit to wade through... these games and the pychos that ruin it for everyone... the law and our social systems are backwards and corrupted.

I give up

[ObscuredBeyond]

Then there's the mischievous, malicious Double Agent Girl. The Double Agent Girl is the most dangerous type there is. She'll walk right up and pretend to be your friend, but collaborate with your enemies the second she thinks you don't notice. She'll pretend to care. But in the end, she's as much to be loathed as the redhead from "The Mask" who sells out Jim Carey near the end.

What motivates girls to be double agents like this? When they set out to destroy men like that, when it is of no benefit to themselves?

[Mishae]

Another crock of crap from Pavlov.. The fact is that every guy thinks with their penis or think about their penis. Girls who appear to be playing a game are actually women who know what the guys game is all about.. We refuse to be manipulated so our defense, is to manipulate the guy.. Pavlov's advice to guys is relevant but only when the guy first attempts to con the female or manipulate her into the bedroom and is halted by her manipulation of him. Girls want companionship, girls want someone to talk to to share feelings to be comfortable with being vulnerable. When guys come across as manipulative assholes we inherently know what to do.. Don't complain about our defense. As I said before it is how to cope with the walking penis

[Nuqood]

Ladies and gentlemen, the protective bubble ^.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Not all girls are like this.
Yes we do the hinting game but it isn't to reveal their fears or anything (not in my case at least)
It's really only cause we ( I ) don't want to seem stupid by telling him or we ( I ) want to avoid confrontation.

The bubble is sort of true.
It depends on the girl.

[pavlove]

you're right... i just like to be a little extra because i think it's better guys don't put girls on a pedestal of angelhood. but yeah at the end of the day everything depends on the person girl or boy

[M_A_X]

So what you're saying is, you're taking your insecurity out on us by not being honest and straightforward. It sounds like none of these women that you describe need to have any relationships

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

@M_A_X No that is not it at all. We feel it is important to say something but we aren't sure how to say it.

[CancerianMan81]

it ain't nothing to be scared about

[M_A_X]

I have aspergers syndrome. There's no way that you have more problems knowing what to say than I do lol

[CancerianMan81]

@M_A_X bull in my opinion it's progress and the experience for what you go through and to be honest you don't know what I've been through

[CancerianMan81]

and i'm not saying that you haven't been through a lot more than what I've been through I'm just saying that I've been through a lot and it's made me a lot more stronger so you can put that in your pipe and smoke it

[M_A_X]

@CancerianMan81 That's like telling a paraplegic that you're worse at walking than he is, or telling a blind man you have worse eyesight

[CancerianMan81]

@M_A_X your perception is not accurate on me buddy

[CancerianMan81]

cause your reading me the wrong way

[CancerianMan81]

besides that i've made mistakes and i own up to them and that doesn't make any better than anybody and it sure in the hell doesn't make me any less than anybody either and i won't stand here and put up with somebody that's having a power struggle with themselves because they don't want to accept themselves and i'll tell you right now you ain't going to use my mistakes against me cause i can see right through your deception

[CancerianMan81]

by the way i would watch what i would say cause your dealing with an Empath

[M_A_X]

@CancerianMan81 Maybe you annoy people because you post shit in like, 4 different posts instead of thinking of what you want to say?

[CancerianMan81]

@M_A_X I already know what to say and I don't have to beat around the bush about it and if you got a problem with me you might as well tell me to my face which won't do you any good cause I don't give a shit what you think of me and as far as fitting in I don't give a shit I "fit In" anywhere it ain't a popularity contest to me anyway you either accept me for who I AM or don't accept me at all.

[CancerianMan81]

this is my life and it's time to live it the way I want to

[CancerianMan81]

do me and yourself a favor just let it go cause the more you push me the more i'm just going to keep being the same ole person that I am

[bostonceltics1991]

Hey, I have a mind game for you too, girls who love mind games! It's called, "Fuck this shit, I'm out."

I have no time for this chasing BS. It's not exhilarating, it's annoying as hell. I'll take a girl who's up front and honest any day.

[admles]

Exactly. Want to play games? Play them with someone else.

[bizry8]

I'm honestly surprised straight people even manage to get along. All you guys do is play and hurt each other. Its amazing the human race has survived this long.

disclaimer: my perspective is from a gay guy with many female friends, take it for what its worth.

[lonerider]

I really loved this myTake as I love most of them. I had a request @pavlove.
Could you write a mytake about finding out when a girl is stringing you along with no intention to date you? And how to deal with such a girl?

[pavlove]

definitely! great idea as it extremely common more than most of guys think about it happening.

[lonerider]

And yes.. Like this girl will act nicely to you. She will never backtalk or insult you or mention other guys. What obvious signs you can see are flaking and not initiating texts. Other than that most of the signals are green.

[Anonymous]

Seriously i don't know any girl like that. I am not saying those girls don't exist, they do but you made it seem like every girl is like that when in fact an ity bity minority is like that. And when girls hint at things it's because they are told guys don't like women who are bold or demanding which is what girls think they sound like if they tell guys that they want something straight up.

[WeeGeeTheSecond]

I think you need to stop living on a rock.

[CoolSky01]

of course you dont why would anyone admit to having a flaw it doesn't make sense , however girls do that , i know that girls attempt sabotaging their friends relationships most of the times , shit some girl told me to my face how she made her best friend break up becasue she didn't like the guy and she was proud of it, guys dont , even if my friend is dating a bitchy slut its his problem not iam gonna support him , also girls hint a lot , more often than they'd like to admit , no one wants to be read like an open book but girls take it to the next level and no one even knows what they want !!! she'd treat a guy like he's the best , then a moment later she's already talking to another , or give mixed signs or who knows what , it happens and girls are like that , we have to deal it and admitting it doesn't make it easier it just makes it a fact

[supernerd99]

when you talk to them like that they go rampant on you cause you indirectly say that the date similar people to what they are... which is true. even good women do some games. but very innocent/mild ones.

[DarkHumorRUs]

You sure every girl pulls this shit? This sounds like what trashy bitches do.

[pavlove]

not every but any could potentially be the one... i think girls do a pretty good job alerting each other when we play games but we don't do it enough among men even though they tend to be the more clever ones

[supernerd99]

there are two level of "games" in my opinion. a healthy and a pathological one. the healthy one women OUGHT to play them its meant by nature and secures their well being. i've met not one good woman though that tested me with pathological tests. so my question about you gagger writers is, what kind of people are you dating?

[pavlove]

the majority of the populace?

[supernerd99]

no dude. the few girls you and your buddies have been with dont constitute the majoity of the populace.

[pavlove]

lol you trying to insult me based on absolutely no factual knowledge at all is just one way you show you have no idea what you're talking about

[supernerd99]

you can't be 23 but 13. (now i'm trying to insult you). you can't seriously think that a few examples represent the whole of humanity. YOU are the one who doesn't know what he is talking about. it takes some ignorance to make broad generalisations based on interpretations of some personal experiences.

[TayTay21]

You've been messing around with some really entitled little bitches LOL

[CoolSky01]

not really this applies to all girls i've met so he's not wrong ya know...

[TayTay21]

@CoolSky01 LOL yeah, cause you've met all girls. Grow up.

[CoolSky01]

Grow up? i've met more girls than you'll ever meet , from different backgrounds, places and races , and its always the same , iam already a grown up i see a fact and i acknowledge it i dont try denying it like you are doing , i think you are the one who needs to grow up

[TayTay21]

@CoolSky01 LOL you sound like so childish right now..."I've met more girls than you!" LOL, again, grow up.

Just because you don't understand girls and don't care to treat them as the individuals we are doesn't mean you need to invent some bullshit theory to explain away your misapprehension. What's "fact" in your twisted view of girls would look like a dysfunction in a therapist's office.

[CoolSky01]

i do treat them as individuals but they still share all of these traits , it is a fact just becasue you dont like it doesn't it make silly or childlish it just means you need to grow up and see the world around you , girls respond well to lying and acting , hence why players get all the girls , girls are always supported even when they do wrong and they hint quite a lot , they would never admit to liking a guy unless they're already in a realtionship with him , which is fine really guys do the same , but if i like a girl iam going to make sure she realizes that , i dont play games if i like a girl i will try to get her its as simple as that , also guys dont ruin their friends realtionships , we could care less what he's dating

[KawaiiPie67]

Oh, so she's immature, but he's not for being manipulative with trying to make her feel and think in certain ways?

[Anonymous]

Why do they do that make you jealous on purpose then when they hurt you enough, you walk away.

[Anonymous]

I dont care because i can play my own games. To get into any girl of my ages' pants just tell them you love them. Ha, it works every time.

[glamgamergal]

My fave part
Every gurl has a bad side

[ihatethiswebsite]

More like just leave and go on to the next girl.

[CBryan]

When a girl goes bad, I walk the other way...