Men, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. So, what are you suppose to do? (Page 2)
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I read that guys question too. I had the same reaction.
He's going out with a girl for a year and he should be able to complement her without getting his head bitten off. I think she was a bitch.
Although I am one of those girls that get mad for small things at times (not at least offering to do the dishes after I cook once in a while) or not so small ( my husband forgetting our anniversary every year) sometimes crying and yelling are understandable and I won't apologize to him for flipping out when he's not being thoughtful ever. Now that being said some girls are ridiculous and expect men to read minds and are never satisfied. They're girls (teens and young women) most of the times. It's when they're not sure of what they want.
Maybe that girl didn't like him enough. Because the only time I've been weirded out by a guy being extra sweet is when I didn't have strong feelings for him. Even then I wasn't a bitch like she was.
It's all true. Women will never change the way they treat men though so it's pointless even trying, especially when many of them enjoy man-bashing. Instead I just stopped worrying about being labelled an asshole or a creep. Two men can do the exact same thing, approach a woman in the exact same way, and one will be considered creepy while the other is sexy. It all depends on whether she's attracted to him or not. If I'm not actually being an asshole or a creep by politely approaching a woman, and she judges me as a creep, and I'll never see her again, and I'll find another girl who does like me eventually because it's just a numbers game, why would I care about her opinion? I don't remember any of the girls who rejected me, and they probably don't remember me, and if they do I don't care.
You're damned if you, damned if you don't well the simple thing is to be yourself and not apologize for it because for one you shouldn't have to so why should you, second, you take the punches when and if they come, and just keep on going. If a women isn't going to appreciate your efforts or anything that you do for her, leave her, you don't need her and she apparently doesn't need you so why stay? You can't please everyone and not everyone is worth pleasing.
Just keep dinging and eventually you'll find a diamond among the coal.
But not all women are like this obviously, some defiantly are, some even flaunt that fact around proudly but not all women are like that, you shouldn't act like they are either.
You are supposed to understand it's a game. And not just any game, it's a rigged game. You can choose not to play, but if you play... you will be constantly tested. Don't know if girls have a name for the testing they do, but guys call it shit testing. They find out something to go mad about and then see how you react when she yells at you for nothing. I do not ever invoke violence, but 'taking it like a man' and just sucking it in isn't really what she is looking for either.
Have you heard about the girl who was happy on what she had? Me neither, because it's as mythological as unicorns. I have noticed that even women who seem to have everything going on for them, still do their hardest to find something that is wrong and focus on that.
Guys you can make her happy (about something), but you can never make her completely happy (about everything). She isn't a man who thinks that happiness is sex, food and sleep.
Feminism has slowly but finally bitten women in the ass in the worst kinds of ways... I really hate to say this (It saddens me actually) but look what is happening in Europe especially Germany under Chancellor Angela Merkel... Instead of looking at situations in a logical and reasonable way they are over emotional and think their actions are righteous for allowing thousands of savages (mostly military age males) into their beloved homeland. And what happens? Look at New Years Eve in Cologne! Angry mobs of immigrant maggots go on a raping spree and assault hundreds of women! And why weren't these women protected by their men? My question of the day.
I think because the society as a whole is/was peaceful and there was previously no need for the males to be constantly protecting the females, the issue lies with the influx of immigrants who's ideals and attitudes are at odds with the existing attitudes and ideals.
As far as I can tell Western societies developed to the point where women could walk about by themselves or in groups, wearing whatever pleased them, without the fear of assault/rape so there was no need for male protection.
@Jibaku Yeah... they might want to stop and rethink that now... A man's true importance is only truly realized by Women in states of chaos!
@MimTcgraw yea I agree.
Those countries are having issues with immigrants violating others, boys, girls, men, women, straight, gay,,, getting beaten, shot, raped, abused, assaulted,,,
I agree that something needs to be done, at no point should the people you invite into your home be allowed to get away with such behaviors.
Men and Women are like Yin and Yang, Men and Women are Human, We're all fucking Human.
@Jibaku You said it!
Very good take. Makes me want to double check my emotions and just learn to have patients and understand what the male intention really was and before I jump the gun.
Thanks
The accuracy of your take makes me feel like shit. I can't even count how many times that happened to me.
Personaly i think women do this hypocrite bullshit as an excuse to get rid of you, even if they cared about you once.
We men are a disposable bunch. And whats worse, women are also disposable for many men/have been for a long time.
This reminds me a lot of Freud's book "Group psychology and the analysis of the ego" which i really recommend (preferably a reduced version, considering how huge it is, haha)
Insane people don't realize their own insanity.
Many women are about having their emotional needs meet. That's why there is little logic to the behavior. What is "right" now will be "wrong" 5 minutes later, because the emotions will be different. It's me me me and how other people makes them feel. Some people just can't see beyond their own emotions.
Luckily not all women are emotionally controlled, some have abilities for rational thinking, like yourself.
Awesome perspective
The second I read the title, I knew exactly what sparked this take.
The replies on that question really baffled me and continue to do so. Some women are truly insane and the expectations that girl had as well as her attitude should not be tolerated.
I sure hope that poor bloke picked up what's left of his dignity and dumped that selfish cow.
Us guys OVERTHINK EVERYTHING. Especially girls and dating. We go round and round in circles and look for solutions when the best (and hardest!) thing to do is to STOP analysing and give yourself "permission" to do something no matter whether you get the girl or not, whether she likes you or not, whether your friends think it's cool... Hard, I know!
Very good post. I'm as puzzled as you, therefore I don't even approach women. I think most of them have become so used to getting all the attention that they take everything for granted. For example: you tell them they're beautiful, and they say "I already knew that. Do you think I am insecure about how I look and need your opinion on the subject?", which sounds extremely rude to me, not to mention illogical. The ones that don't behave like this are very hard to spot, so yeah, in the end, I'm single. End of rant.
What is a guy to do? What he knows is right. Because this can't win situation is the woman's problem and of her creation. Even if it all falls apart, he can emerge from it with the knowledge that he did nothing wrong, she's nuts, and he's better off without someone who's nuts.
bam you said it
Wow. You women think a lot. Don't you? Us guys just say what we mean. And then we just chill. I'm just imagining how difficult it must be for you all. You scream your guts out, and then you expect us to apologize for screaming your guts out. Phew, this is why its nice being guy. Out of sight, out mind. But its never like that with girls.
The difference is open honest communication vs trite platitudes. An honest compliment, a truly concerned question, etc. is rarely taken wrong. Also there's this feeling from some women that guys should be able to "read them" that guys, if they paid attention that they would get where she is coming from. This later is certainly unfair, but the dynamic exists non the less.
Men have to pretty much do what they believe is right and ignore what she says at the time. (Assuming you're a couple)
And this is why self described nice guys crash and burn. They try to follow the instructions. They'd have been on the phone apologizing for complimenting her and then getting yelled at for that too.
What am I supposed to do? Simple. Be my normal laid back, nonchalant self and show that your trivial fits dont merit a reaction, then in due time, after a few deep breaths or when you're out of breath, we can go back to the natural order of peace and chillness.
This is only true for certain types of men. If it were all men, the worlds population would be drastically less than it is. Men approach women all the time without being creepy, men do a compliment their girls and tell her how he feels all the time without being weird or clingy or annoying or creepy.
And men that never approach women, can't tell her how he's feeling and can't communicate like a normal adult... well, they'll get left behind.
Yeah, women they don't find attractive (both physically or characteristically) are easier for men to approach for most men. Then you have your psychopaths and sociopaths or your players that are used to burying any emotional feelings if they have any and go through a routine just to get laid and/or have a fake relationship... just to get laid. Back then if these psychopaths weren't Ganges Kahn, a king or a general, the rest of the tribe or another man would've found him out a long time ago and killed the freak, now a days you can't just do that... so you have a historically disproportionate number of psychos that females mistake for alphas because of their confident demeanor, these are the guys you are speaking of.
@UtopianLobotomy so a guy either has no self confidence or he's a psycho? Lol... Ok.. No.
Some guys are scared to approach women, and some manage to push that aside and do his thing. And of course less attractive is easier, just like it is for women with less attractive men, but that doesn't mean the only men who can do it are psychos. There are plenty of men who are normal, non psychotic, decent people and also have self confidence.
Lol something makes me believe you're a guy with a woman's profile :D
But cool take. :)
I'm not a guy, not sure what gives the impression that I would be but either way I am in fact a girl.
Totally agree! I mean obviously not every woman is a raving lunatic and not every woman is gonna give a man a bad time; like not every guy is a player or only interested in models, but that doesn't mean that men will want to take the random chance dip into the dating pool just to have a bogus rape charge thrown at them because they didn't want to go clothes shopping with their woman for the 5th time that week!
in my opinion things go much smoother if you give up on trying to help and make her happy and just listen to the complaints, rants, and confusing rage. You would assume when someone tells you their problems they want assistance or guidance, but trust me, don't.