Things Guys Should Know About Girls

There have been many questions browsing through here, from guys asking something along the lines of "What should us guys know about you girls?" The confused male species is getting worse, they are reduced to begging under an anonymous name online to get answers on how to score!!

Here is a list which I have created, on things guys should know about girls.

1. Don’t ever lie to us; we always find out.
2. We don’t enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
3. Don’t say you understand when you don’t. Again, we will find out.
4. Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!
5. You don’t have PMS; don’t act like you know what it’s like.
6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.
7. If you talk about having a big dick; we know you don’t.
8. Size does matter, but only to hoes, not girls that want relationships. Girls that want relationships actually care about the guy the dick is attached to.
9. We don’t like it when you act like Mr. Big.
10. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys not us.
11. No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe. Agree with us.
12. It’s good to be sensitive, sometimes. Not all the time. Then you seem gay.
13. Another surefire way to get off the hook? Apologize, even if you didn't do anything.
14. Spice it up; dinner and a movie won’t always cut it.
15. We are self-conscious by nature; we can’t help it.
16. We are drama queens. We thrive on rumours and live to gossip.
17. Fashion police do exist, like BAM!
18. Don’t ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it. Asking makes you sound like that's all you want.
19. We usually DO NOT care about monster trucks, car systems, paintball, or anything else you and your friends talk about.
20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.
21. We don’t shave our legs everyday so get over it.
22. Don’t make bets about us. It's not cool.
23. Shave; no matter how cool you think your goatte or beard or mustache looks, we hate it. It makes for a horrible rash on our faces after you kiss us.
24. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it is not. It's kind of gross, especially if you laugh about it. Yes, it's natural, but not hilarious.
25. Don’t compare our breasts with Pamela Anderson’s; hers are fake, just remember that. If you do, chances are, ours are the only ones you will be seeing for a long time.
26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets. If you hit us, consider yourself as someone that will not have children... ever.
27. We always want to hear we are beautiful, even though we know that crying and makeup running down our faces and baggy sweatpants and a huge sweater isn't hot. We are flattered that you will lie to make us feel better when we feel shitty.
28. We will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell us we aren’t. We fight back because we crave the compliments.
29. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why the hell can’t you piss in the toilet and not on it.
30. Most importantly: we are always right; so don’t forget it. On the other hand, if you are wrong, we will never let you forget it.
31. We will always try to relate to your friends for their approval. Just the same you offer to take us to the mall to get along with our friends.
32. If we have a boyfriend, leave us the hell alone. Leading us on and flirting with us can and sometimes will, ruin the relationship we are currently in and you'll probably never score with us.
33. If at first a girl doesn't like you, BE HER BEST FRIEND! Who do you think she's going to run to when the star football player doesn't take her to that dumb movie? Think about it.
34. Yes, we are moody when we are on our periods. How would you feel if your spermies died and were bleeding out your dick.
35. Think before you speak. If you have second thoughts on something you want to say, SHUT UP!
36. Never, ever, EVER, joke about her being pregnant, even if you used a condom and she's on the pill. There's still a chance.
37. We are truthful with you. Please be truthful with us.
38. Chicks before dicks. If we have to go see a different movie because our friend is on her first date, don't complain. If your guy wanted to go to a bar to pick up, you would help him.
39. We will try to act tough to impress you. If we screw up, it's usually cute. So hold us and tell us we are cute.
40. Tell her how you're feeling, don't hold in those emotions. We are masters at feelings. We invented feelings.
Things Guys Should Know About Girls
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Most Helpful Girl

  • toulouse
    - We are masters at feelings. We invented feelings.- what does that mean

    - We are truthful with truthful with us. - you want him to lie to you& you live for gossip

    -We will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell us we aren’t. - not everyone is fat

    - We are always right; so don’t forget it - that's a lie

    -We thrive on rumours and live to gossip - i.e. you love to lie

    -Don’t ever lie to us; - uhh helo you asked him to

    -We flattered that you lie to make us feel better- that's the main point
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • OfficialyDJ
    Hot_princess7 I love this.... so true. - 3 months ago

    jbowy4 This article is so funny! AND SO TRUE!! hint hint guys. - 3 months ago

    lovestinks207 Y is everyone ragging on this... I agree with most of itt :) nothing bad to dsay everyone has their own opinions I guess - 3 months ago

    Purplepolkadot I relate to this article and agree with almost everything you said, so kudos! I should show this to my guy... - 10 days ago

    These 4 are going to be very lonely once they break up with their bf's
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • txcos20
    hahaha this is so true! 16*I don't like drama, 19*i could care less about car systems, but I like trucks, and paintballing, and other things too for the most part, 23*i like some hair on a guy, 24*I only think its disgusting when it smells ha ha ( I usually laugh hysterically), 34*that had me rofl so badly that I gigle-snorted ha ha great article tho!
  • useranonymous
    I don't know any women over the age of maybe 15 (girls rather) that live by many if any of these rules or "truths." I feel like these are 40 ways to stay single for the rest of your life - or 40 ways to find a submissive man with too many insecurities.

    One last thing - although I would love to go through and make comments on every single number like some basically did - women are far worse at getting it in the toilet bowl it seems.
  • GoodManDave
    23 I've had compliments on my goatee from men AND women. The older ones (who usually hire me for shows) actually get angry when I've shaved it. As long as it's clean and I don't look like an unkempt Yeti, it's not been a deal breaker, and when it is, then I get to be as shallow about something with my girlfriend.

    33 - then we become the person that allows her to hurt us when she comes to us being hurt by her jerk boyfriend. Trying friendship has NEVER worked.

  • Brando
    The points about bodily functions I agree with though. I don't like burps, farts and all that even when I'm around my friends.

    So I'm not trying to flame you, but this is just another "Women vs. Men" thing. Which makes me think that its a joke, so none of this matters :)
  • Brando
    #37 is really not true. Self righteousness by believing you are close to perfection just highlights the flaw that much more. Men lie, women lie, the end. Ask a question and if its not the answer you want to hear, will you get p*ssy? Most likely. If you always want to hear a guy saying your beautiful, but what if he has suggestions? What if he has an opinion? He's not a dog, and he can easily tell you to take your PMS somewhere else because you're annoying. There's no shortage of women..
  • Brando
    Not sure if this is meant to be close to serious or slightly humorous but here goes my $0.02

    #13 is absolutely no, for me. If its something petty? Then I won't even argue about it to begin with. If its serious, then I AM standing my ground. I have no problem sleeping on the couch (guys go camping anyway, its like that except inside). To me, "ignorance breeds ignorance". If she's wrong, she's wrong. Grow up and accept that you're not a queen.
  • Subotai
    No one is more clueless about girls than girls. Guys a woman can never give you dating advice. The fact that the presumably female author put down 33 is proof of womens utter cluelessness about why the hell they do what they do in love sex and romance
  • KERMlT
    Women claim to want honesty but they really want you to tell white lies.

    She asks me "Do you like my new haircut?"

    I reply "No. It makes you look like a little boy from the back."

    Just don't ask questions to honest guys in which you might not like a truthful reply.
  • darkprincess
    Ok, enough with the slamming.

    I should have noted this before I posted this.

    This is an email I received and thought it was funny, and thought I would share with you guys.

    If all you guys have to say is negative, then I won't share my funny email posts with you. Plain and simple.
  • Collegeruger
    This makes it seem as if the guy is always in the wrong and needs to be taimed like a dog. and some of the points contradict each other. ex never lie we'll find out and lie to say you are beutiful when ur dressed in comfy cloths.

    plus every girl is different and enjoys different things so this is just a list I'm sorry to say about what you want guys to know.
  • Irrelevance
    "37. We are truthful with you. Please be truthful with us. "- Jesus Christ. This is a testimony to how bad this list is. Don't tell me you've never said "maybe" to a date from a guy you weren't interested in at all.

    Has to be a joke. Really really has to be a joke because a girl can't be this wrong about girls unknowningly.
  • JaYce_Luff
    Hmm..actually..i do care about their interest..(sports, games, bikes/cars)...i mean I'm dating one who loves all these...if you don't care at all then you shouldn't be dating guys..

    and its good for guys to be sensitive with doesn't make them makes them human..just like us females...

    and I like facial hair..

    yeah most of these are wrong...but some made valid points such as #21 but that's because I'm sensitive #31, I would like his bff to like me..#32 faithful..and #36
  • Killfest400
    11 13 16 27 28 30 39 are signs of immaturity

    12 & 40 contradict

    17 33 are just wrong

    32 would be true if women didn't cheat

    5 is true, but PMS is not a catch-all excuse for being a bitch

    While 19 may be true, the same applies to us and your gossip

    The rest of the list seemed OK.
  • Honest_Kayla
    OKAY! So I thought this is hilarious and obviously it is supposed to be a joke. Kinda makes fun of girls themselves right. Geeze all of you slamming her and you guys completely missed the point. Hahaha some of these things are so true, ecpecially No. 29. but others' show how ridiculous both sexes can be.
  • Jinmetsu_Rasetsu

    What the heck are you trying to do? I agree with Killfest400 and Kanye. Hell, I probably agree with more than half of the male responses.

    I totally disagree with #40. I believe in emotional self control. If you can't control your emotions, you are psychotic in my book...
  • darkknight1x
    ...A girl acting tough is not impressive to me at all. Its just as bad as a shy girl.

    These kinds of articles are usually ridiculous. The best advice would be the cliche thing like "just be yourself". And to remember that "there are many fish in the sea."

    The end.

  • darkknight1x
    ...If you don't care about a lot of the things that we talk to our friends about then maybe you should be with a woman. No, not all women hate beards and mustaches. A lot of them would say if it looks good on them then they should keep it. And no not all women always think they are fat. NO Women are not always right. Your being conceited. If a guy is going to be a "best friend" to a girl then he's going to be trapped in the friend zone or be considered as gay. To be continued...
  • darkknight1x
    ...Us being very sensitive doesn't make us seem gay. (Most likely crying a lot might make us seem that way.) We have a short temper & can't handle criticisms from our girlfriends because we take it very personally. So of course we seem very sensitive around you. Why should a guy apologize if he didn't do anything?! He should stand his ground and say no. He should apologize if he wants sex. Fashion police exist? WTF? What do they look like & how come I've never gotten a ticket? To be continued...
  • darkknight1x
    If we lie about something you will not always find out. There are a lot of women who enjoy talking dirty just as much as we like listening. (Most of them are pornstars.) I'm sorry but I will never tell my girl that she's the prettiest if she isn't. Just because I find a certain woman more good looking doesn't mean that I don't love my GF. Doing something sweet isn't always going to get us off the hook like if we cheat on you. And no my Ex is not a hoe. I won't agree with that. 2 B continued...
  • MoTeBi88
    Its obviously just for fun, don't take it too seriously guys...

    "34. Yes, we are moody when we are on our periods. How would you feel if your spermies died and were bleeding out your d***."

    Hahaha true though... and spermies! =P Hahaa
  • setcheck67
    I will never NEVER let a woman think she is right when she is wrong. Ignorance breeds ignorance and that woman can go breed with some other idiot that believes her, but NOT me. I'm a person of truth and I'm not going to believe lies.
  • Prisca
    Sorry girl, but I think this is too annoying to read. LOL. Forgive me. I think you're not yet a grown woman ;) and yes so please don't use the word WE because I believe that many girls at your age are not like what this article said, including me :)
  • CanvasOnCanvas
    What's with all the criticism? I don't think the list was meant to be entirely serious. It's actually really funny. Especially number 34. Yes I would be sad if my spermies died and bled out of my d***. We all would.
  • TheCoolioGirl
    My o my, this is...this is...just wrong, lol. This may apply to some girls but def not most. I know maybe one or two girls who act like half of this list.
  • sunwolf94
    Aww, teenage love. So romantic, so incredible, so fake and stupid. Just like this e-mail/article.

    Look, this is fake and stupid. I hope nobody thinks this is true. I hate e-mails like this. It ruins the actual ideal of real love.
  • AvihooI
    41. Don't ever listen to a girl who think she knows everything about her species - she's most likely wrong, cheesy, intellectually challenged and will most likely lead you nowhere.
  • darkprincess
    Kay the only part I myself, me, actually wrote is the veeerrrrry first paragraph.

    Everything else was the email.

    If you want my actual point of view, let me know!
  • MrNameless
    "37. We are truthful with you. Please be truthful with us. "

    LOL What a joke...

    No offense.. But this list seems to be like those things passed around MySpace bulletins from preteens.
  • missalice0306
    10) If that system in your car really is as cool as you say it is, I'll be impressed too.

    16) You want to run away from girls like this.

    23) Kind of unfair after saying we don't shave our legs everyday.

    28) If a girl constantly complains that she's fat when she's not, by all means put her in her place.

    33) This unfortunately puts most guys in the 'friend zone.' She'll probably just find another jerk to date.

  • Bleep
    I don't agree with 33, being the backup for when a girl is at her lowest just to try and get with her is just that...low.
  • foreveryoung2010
    I'm pretty sure this is all a joke...or at least I keep telling myself that.

    I prefer guys who have flaws..its cute

    not perfect Ken dolls :P
  • nom1394
    I think I can simplify this a bit :

    don't lie; don't cheat; don't tell us you love us if you don't

    and wear deoderant... it helps ;) x
  • Exquisite
    Sorry, but if you're looking for a guy that meets all of these requirements, you will be definitely be one lonely girl.
  • Purplepolkadot
    I relate to this article and agree with almost everything you said, so kudos! I should show this to my guy...
  • Jennifaye1983
    I would like to know why the hell you guys can't p*ss in the toilet bowl? I mean come on! It's not that hard to aim ait something way bigger than what your holding... :o) haha. Seriously though, what's the point in having a toilet inside the house if your just gonna p*ss on the floor 5 inches from the target? Someone explain this to me. Or do I need to add a bullseye to my toilet?
  • Kayne
    Sorry, but you may want to rethink this article unless it was meant as either

    A. A huge joke

    B. You titled it wrong. "40 Things About Pre-Teens"
  • derrick112
    I disagree with #32. I've got a lot of girls to leave their boyfriend XD
  • jbowy4
    This article is so funny! AND SO TRUE!! hint hint guys.
  • BlackSuperman
    Damn! This almost a how-to for guys on dealing with women.... spermies? LMFAO! In any case, liked the article...
  • stealy
    This list is terrible and false. this is a way for a girl to leave you-fast.

    some girls have MUCH better lists than this! You should use this list as a paper towel if you spill your coffee and need to clean it up.
  • CestLolaVie
    You claimed YOU created that list in the paragraph before the list itself.
  • darkprincess
    Ok this was honestly an email I got. So tell me I'm immature, but it's not my work.
  • Kayne
    No need to claim it was an e-mail. People are just critiquing your work
  • Gregs
    This is a list guys should know about "immature little girls"
  • Dolan
    People like OP are the reason I only consider dating 1/50 women. People like OP are also the people who caused many of the women stereotypes to be created.
  • sqenixs
    This list just further solidifies my belief of how girls my age are way too immature for me.
  • Tokana
    What the heck is this? Only a weak, spineless, beta-male would agree with this.
  • shf84
    Some of this stuff is only true of sissy girly girls. My sister can pull a transmission.
  • lovestinks207
    Y is everyone ragging on this... I agree with most of itt :) nothing bad to dsay everyone has their own opinions I guess
  • allicansayisthis
    I'm glad not all women live by these rules. Get away from me at all times, you!