Inspired by LittleSally's spear counterpart take to this, I figured what's good for the gander is good for the goose.
If some of you gals are wondering why so many "shy" guys exist that are reluctant to actually make a move, there's probably a girl in his past that did one fo the following things to him:
1. Basic Bitches
Gals that lack any sort of unique personality or respect for others, or original thoughts of any kind. They are copies of a copy of a copy in almost everything they do. There is some overlap with others I list below, but you know one of these when you see one. They become predictable, boring, and are often very judgmental toward their men. They are such loathsome creatures, that even Paris Hilton looks good compared to them.
Expect a never-ending vicious cycle with these types. They act the way they do, because of their narcissism, at first. But it turns off guys who want more than a one night stand from them. So they assume all men just want that, and use that to justify continuing their antisocial behavior.
No way, am I changing! Me? Change! Why? I can't even! Now go fetch me some pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks!
- Every basic bitch ever.
2. Psychotic Manipulators
You know these types. And they have overlap with some of the other categories I list below. But the key thing with them, is they go a step further. These women use their charm to get what they want, but are some of the most cold-hearted sociopaths on the planet.
They are the stuff of Investigation Discovery shows. Is she really just being cranky, or should you check the arsenic levels in your apple juice?
Is she really "just talking" to the other guy, or are they plotting to beat in your skull with a steel baseball bat and then cut up your remains with a chainsaw?
He should've known / she was evil / from the first glance; / 'cause she took all of his money!
She drowned his puppy! / She...fed him cyanide / and then tossed him in the trash / and then made off with his cash! / Yes she did!
And then burned down his house, / that slimy little louse, oh! / But what she don't understand / is
I'll lob at grenade at her!...
- "Serial Bomber, Part 3", a parody of "Grenade" by Bruno Mars
3. Miss Eyes-Glued-to-the-Phone
Girls who refuse to look up from their phones long enough to engage in the simplest of polite discourse. To refuse to so much as wave and acknowledge men when they say "hello" or "good day" to you is incredibly rude. Especially when you're waiting by the time clock at work with them and care more about your Yahoo OMG or your TMZ gossip updates than you do about the guy that wants to know if you even have a soul.
Learn some manners already! I've heard you talk to others, I know you're not mute!!!
4. The Serial Fake Friend
Girls who pretend to be a friend to a man who is going through some problems - until he asks for a way to reach her in case he needs real help.
Then, she creepshames him and spreads rumors about him behind his back, tries to get him fired from work / kicked out of school / in trouble with the law.
Simply because he wanted her to back up her words with action.
Expect her to do this to every new guy she uses. She wreaks almost as much havoc in others' lives as a serial killer, just without the funeral and court costs.
5. The Segregation Enforcer
Gals who string you along and stuff you in the closet, trying to control whom you can meet that they already know, and who your other friends can be.
Dare to befriend one of their friends, or dare to be friends with this one other individual they don't like, and there WILL be consequences!!! To hell with this! These gals can take their control and vendettas and shove up either hole.
6. Psycho Feminazis
They who think any dude whose opinions on literally any subject aren't to-the-left-of-Trotsky, must be "pro-rape" - and will form mobs to harass him. SJW women who are like hungry wolves looking for easy prey, and can't admit that to themselves.
7. Flakezoids
Gals who act eager to do anything - until you actually attempt to make arrangements. Then, it's always excuses. Especially if they flake out at the last minute.
Who make promises, then creepshame you if you hold them to their word. Or if you keep your own to them.
Let your yes be yes, and your no be no, or you will be condemned... - Matt. 5:37
8. Dead Fish Couch Potatoes
Gals who never touch base, and make him do all the work. Either you're interested, or you're not. Make up your mind, ladies! If you make men act like slaves, they will eventually get tired of it.
9. XP Panhandlers
Gals who are only interested in the guy when she's down 50 points in the latest PvP tournament of her preferred Facebook game. You've met her. She will also whine to you about how "bullied" she is by other players in various fan groups. Yet, every single group she joins, she tries to dictate to others how they are to play their game, scolding them if they go off HER specific sets of rails - even if they have better ideas!
When this bossy, self-important usurper phony queen gets dethroned, it's everyone else's fault for being "such a meanie." And unless you want her to come down hard on you, then you'd better believe every word she says!
It will soon extend beyond the game, and into how you live your life. She'll claim you're important in her life - but will grow distant if you stop doing things by her exact dictates. And if you try to meet her parents, she declares you the enemy. Has a lot of overlap with the Segregation Enforcer.
She likes to prey on the lonely, and pretends to be their friend willing to lend a hand. But her friendship comes with a routine fee that roughly amounts to...your soul. She may use game XP and companionship as hooks, rather than the promise of sex. But she is just as much a predator to be avoided. Her heart is one of ice.
One telltale sign: Will she ever admit anything is her fault, or that she's sorry? Will she ever say anything nice about her own family? If the answer is no, run away fast.
10. Miss I-Don't-Have-to-Respect-You-in-Public
Will be dating you outright, but acts like she has a problem with others knowing it. Has a lot of overlap with the Segregation Enforcer.
These gals take the guy to the grocery store, and then call him "entourage" when it's time to bag groceries. That's like the guy calling his chick "ho" in the same set of circumstances, insulting the partner in front of cashiers.
11. Miss Multiple-Choice-Life-Narrative
Gals who keep changing their story on everything, but especially on whether or not they are on birth control. They like to keep the guy guessing about things no man should ever have to wildly guess. And laugh about matters that aren't funny.
If she claims to be pregnant, then jokes about having "forgot" and gotten in a hot tub with friends, this woman just might also be a Psycho Manipulator.
Better get out of there, before she cheats just so you can both get HIV!
12. The Extortionist
Miss Do-As-I-Say,-Or-I-Will-Give-You-Family-Strife
She will whine about her life. But will keep you on a leash. If, however, you should ever call her out, she'll spread lies about you - even to your own mother!
Especially frustrating when all you have to do is show your paystub, to prove she's lying!
Like the XP Panhandler, she is never wrong and never sorry. If your family confronts her about lying to them, she'll rail about the emotional toll it takes on her to know you! Except, she's the bitch who INITIATED the relationship!
Guys owe it to themselves - and the world - to kick these sociopaths to the curb.
13. Miss Being-Yourself-is-Okay-For-Others-Just-Not-For-You
Gals who preach "be loved for who you are," then always make the guy feel inadequate unless he changes in very specific ways for her. And is then never satisfied.
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There are plenty of men out there who would love to settle down. But with all these toxic women running amok, whom can you trust anymore?
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