Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
Shy Guys And The Shy Complex (Page 2)
Ask to an AI Persona
Advisor Smith
With years of experience guiding individuals in their education and career paths, I'm here to...
Athletic Chloe
Whether you need tips on improving your game, insights on fitness and nutrition, or just want to...
Fashionista Amy
I'm here to inspire and guide you with a touch of latest trends or advice on personal style.💅👒
Cinematic Lily
With my rich background and passion for the arts, I share insights on films, TV shows, and...
Travel Buddy
I'm your go-to travel companion, passionate about exploring new destinations and experiencing...
Gamer Bella
With my passion and experience in hobbies and leisure activities, I'm here to offer personalized...
James The Foodie
From savoring Italian classics to discovering the bold flavors of Japanese cuisine, I explore...
Love Doctor Brad
Welcome to the heart of understanding and transformation. I am your guide on this journey to...
Click "Show More" for your mentions
Most Helpful Opinion(mho) Rate.
Learn more
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
118Opinion
Take the proverbial bull by the horns and ask a guy out. But that's just not for me. And I understand how hard it must be on a guy to get the guts to ask a chick out. I can only imagine. Which is why I thought I'd help 'shy' and insecure guys out with some tips. Thanks for your feedback.
Jon364 - I agree with you completely on every remark you made. I do think it is much, much easier for two people to be friends first and then having the feelings develop mutually. I think then it doesn't matter who makes the first move. But in a social situation, where neither party knows one another personally, I believe that it is the guy's responsibility to initiate asking the girl out. Plain and simple. And it is unfortunate there is a stigma for girls, because I know that some would...
Eidahl - You're 18. You needn't be a workaholic. You should be focusing on your happiness right now, you're young! You've got your entire life ahead of you to slave away at your job. Don't do that to yourself right now. Don't hide behind a job as a guise to stop yourself from finding love. You'll regret it. You can message me anytime, I'd be glad to help you out as best I can. You're quite welcome for the article. I'm glad you're taking it to heart.
Ikarus - You're an asshole. Honestly. I said I initiated contact, not that I just up and asked them out. Girls always initiate by showing interest - eye contact, smiling...then they usualyl leave it up to the guy. I still believe that is the guy's duty to do the rest, and that's my opinion. I don't have to justify it, it's just how I feel about that matter. I would appreciate if you understood and respected that. I'm not the least bit retarded, I'm probably 100x smarter than you are...
Wow you make no sense, you've initiated contact with all your exes yet you're writing an article about how its a mans job to take the first step? yeah, you're right, I wasted my time responding... you're retarded and nothing can change that. OH, but you're mildly attractive (and I emphasize the mild part) so I guess its okay, that'll definitely get you somewhere :)
Finally I had the time to read this article and well... I hoped for more. This is a pretty one sided view and it doesn't really go deeper. You scratch the point that's really important (social skills) and you fail at focusing around this aspect.
I honestly appreciate the effort you've put up in writing this but I just don't think that you hit the nail on the head.
And in todays society a lot of things have changed but I'm not going into any more details in a comment section ;)
Lockjawx27 - I'm not being a hypocrite whatsoever. I'm not a guy. I don't have to do anything. You can do as you wish, don't ask a girl out, but I can guarantee you won't get anywhere. Maybe 1 in a million girls will actually ASK a guy out first. So don't hold your breath. And it's fine you think I'm a bitch because I know I am one. I'm entitled to my own opinion and this is it.
Ikarus - I don't know what vendetta you may harbor against me. But you have my completely wrong here. And I am SINGLE. So what? I'm 20. I'm young. I'm pretty. I've got plenty of time. I'm not in any hurry. And for your information, not like it's any of your business, with my exes I have initiated contact every time, usually indirectly, but still I have nonetheless. I count initiating contact and making the first move as appearing approachable and being flirty. And also, I am kind of...
Without a jacket all while not breaking into a cold shiver.
so originally I saw your profile and thought you were kinda cute and thought to myself id probably go up and strike up a conversation at a library or something but that was until I read your response to johnnyhustle "because I don't need to, if they want me, they can ask" could you be any more self absorbed? if a guy said that, girls would say he's a cocky a$$hole but if women say it, its okay because its "the social norm."
Even known she existed. and that's ALL it took, from there I did the rest. granted if a girl were to just go up to a guy and ask him out yes, that would be weird but the same would be weird if a guy went up to a girl and asked her out without first breaking the ice. please don't use an exaggeration in support of a social norm.
"Girls, 99% of the time want the guy to initiate conversation and contact and do it while exuding confidence," you might as well just want us to take a hike in antartica
Require you to put some effort in as well. just like you said and I quote:
"there are no rewards without taking risks." well freaking BINGO sweetheart, but this applies to women as well. oh but what's that you say?
"There is a stigma that if a girl asks a guy out first she appears desperate or weird." according to who? the ONLY girl I've ever fallen in love with, was one who indirectly made the first move by going through a friend to introduce us, otherwise I probably wouldn't have
Do all the work, regardless of what the social norm is. sure a man should have confidence to go up and say hi but just like in the animal kingdom, if the gazelle is too fast the cheetah's going to say f*ck this chase, it ain't worth it.
dating and relationships are a two way street. and if you expect to ever be happy in your life, you, along with all the other narrow minded women who thought this article was the definitive text on "how it is and should be" need to realize, it MAY just actually
I read this article and enjoyed about 40% of it. I appreciate the fact that you're trying to help the so called "shy guy complex" and that's an admirable thing to do but the errors in your logic seriously p*ssed me off. first of all, your profile says you're a sweet and sensitive girl WRONG. the whole gist of your article is just as killfest400 said "we get it too bad." oh, I also noted you were single, I wonder why?
Hay...this was a good article. I'm sorta shy... but even more shy when a really good looking girls comes by. The paragraph about going up to random people and just saying "hi" really does help or trying to go out of your zone to talk to people even if it is all bushleaf talk helps. Thanks, this article helps.
Darkknight1x - You completely contradict yourself. You said that we, as women, since we're no longer perceived as weak and inferior to men, should make the first move - in order to gain protection, love and help raising a family with a man? I don't need a man to do any of those things. I can protect myself, love myself and kids. All without a man. So who's to say I need to ask a guy out in the first place? If you want to be with me, you make the first move. That's all there is to it.
MoonUrbanite - You know what's even funnier? The fact that you think you know me. But you don't. I'm going to be a Pharmacist so I can afford everything I deserve, I don't need a guy for that. And for the record, I have a certain type that I like. Who doesn't? Whatever gave you the impression that I require a silver spoon? I'm not a high-maintenance bitch.
Killfest400 - That's not my intent at all that you gather that from this article. I'm trying to exude empathy, not an "I don't give a f***' attitude. I'm trying to help shy guys out here, telling them what they need to do. I'm not going to grab the bull by its horns and ask shy guys out. They'd probably run away or stutter. Hence, why I have these tips.
Than having a trophy wife. The only thing that would come as a result of leaving such a woman is more money in my wallet.
If a girl approaches me, do I think she's desperate or weird? No, and most guys agree with me (this site has plenty of those questions, just search for them). For that matter, I'm still dating her two years later.
This isn't an article of "helpful points that hit the nail on the head". It's just a repetition of "too bad, so sad, it's how it should be".
I'd say I have to completely agree with WeaponZero on this matter. Yeah, I should be willing to make the first move. I should be willing to continue putting out effort. If I can't do any of that, then I have a problem that needs fixing.
However, if the girl refuses to do anything, then I'm not going to just "deal with it". I'm not going to "suck it up" because gender roles tell me to. I'm going to find a better woman. To stay with someone with these opinions on the matter is nothing more
What are you saying now then? isn't your comment personal? I was commenting on the nature of the article. constructive criticism. it makes sense because I'm looking beyond the social skills. I'm giving you my interpretation of what I read. whether it is you intention is irrelevant to my interpretation of plain words. you can't ask an introvert to change into an extrovert. accept them as shy romantically. you obviously got my point about inner beauty then.