How Trying to Understand Women's Feelings About Men Made Me Angry and Anxious

[ADFSDF1996]

This is my second myTake and before I type what I have to say, let me ask you to keep your opinions civilized, don't be rude and don't troll please. If you plan on insulting me, don't bother sharing your opinion. No I am not trying to get people to feel sorry for me. I do accept constructive criticism and polite disagreements though. Keep in mind that the reason why I think I got anxious, frustrated and angry is because of my OCD (Obsessive compulsive disorder). You'll notice I am a very emotional man. Most of the opinions on my first mytake where civilized and I appreciate that.

So what I want say is how I got extreme anger, frustration and anxiety for a week last month. One of the reasons why I created a GirlsAskGuys account is to try understand women more. A day before I created a account here, I was reading random articles about how women view men. They all said that women weren't visual and that they only care about personality, social status and occasionally economic status. I felt terrified and disappointed. I always thought women felt the same about us men. I decided to check other sources.

I checked Yahoo answers, I looked at questions people asked as to whether or not women looked at us men like we look at women. The answers further disturbed me, the women said that the only physical traits women like in men are tall, muscular, strong jawline, nice smile, nice eyes and nice hair. To me that looked like women only care about how well a man takes care of himself and how much protection he can give women.

I also got the impression that women don't really find the faces or body structure/form of men attractive. I thought perhaps women look at men like us straight men look at other men, which in my opinion is disappointing because obviously I don't find men attractive. So I started to feel angry, because to me I felt that in order to feel love you have find the person "sexy". To me I assumed women only found us a little bit aesthetically appealing.

I was desperate for clarification, then I remembered that I was planning on making a Girlsaskguys account. So I thought there has to be better answers there. I made my account a month ago and here I am asking questions. My first question involves whether or not women find men attractive as in sexual attraction, aesthetically and emotionally(if women can have the same romantic feelings us guys can have for women).

Sure enough I got some helpful answers from women saying that sure they find us attractive. The thing is though, what exactly does attractive mean to women. So I asked about the women about it, they said the same exact things the women on yahoo answers said. I asked them what they think about a man's face. They said they do find a man's face attractive. Then I remembered that there different kinds of attraction, I didn't want to annoy the people that gave opinions so I decided to wait and reword a new similar question, but I already used both question slots so I had to wait to be able to ask another question.

I decided to look on other webpages where people also give opinions, and I made another shocking discovery that enraged me. The question was asking which gender is more aesthetically appealing, most of the women who claimed to be straight said they find the woman's body more aesthetically appealing while they found the man's body more sexually appealing.

That really confused and angered me because in order for me to find a woman physically attractive, I have to find her attractive in all aspects. So yes that revelation really made me as angry as a tiger. I actually cried a lot and spent a few hours in my room on my bed until I decided to relax in my living room to see if my anger would stop.

I sat on the couch in my living room, my mom approached me and asked me"why are you so gloomy?" I told her that I was alright, I was just tired. After calming down, I went to my room. I could barely walk up my stairs and turn the doorknob to my room because my anger had weakened me. Once inside my bedroom I decided to continue reading more about how women fall in love.

Now what I wanted to know is if women are visual. So I looked at what other people said and noticed that there is no definite answer. Some people including women say that yes women are visual when it comes to checking out men. While other people say no they aren't as visual as men. They only care about a man's personality, social and economic status. So that wasn't very helpful.

So once I closed my current questions on Girlsaskguys, I asked 2 similar ones to see how women view men. In both, women said that they find men attractive for various reasons. Thankfully the next question was a featured question that got a lot of answers. Most of the women said that yes women are visual and some said that they do find men sexy, the same way men find women sexy. So that finally stopped my anger, anxiety and frustration, what a relief.

While I don't feel so angry, frustrated and anxious anymore, I still wonder if women actually look at the faces of certain men they like, the same way us guys look at the faces of women we like. To me if a woman has a nice face, nice personality, nice clothing style and if she is in at least decent shape, I will consider dating her only if she feels the same about me. I just hope women are capable of having romantic feelings for men in every aspect, I don't know if men and women will ever be able to understand each other.

For those of you thinking "What is wrong with this guy?" Who are you to judge? I use to visit a psychologist from 8th grade in middle school till my senior year in high school because my OCD use to be bad. Now it's not as bad and my mood is better. I am just trying to enjoy life.

[Anonymous]

Here are some other things about women you should know:

1. Women are very easily influence by the media on what is attractive. If the media says guy's with pot bellies and going bald were sex symbol many women would now start chasing guys like these.

2. Women need other girls to tell them what is attractive. Someone mention something about girl's approval. If a girl in a collective group likes you then other girls will like you. If she doesn't find you attractive then all the other girls would be indifferent to you just because she does.

3. Woman want what the can't have. If a man gets a girlfriend he gets a sharp rise in attention because women like to compete with one another rand show they are desirable by getting a guy to cheat on his girlfriend.

[ManOnFire]

Good points, a lot of that is true.

[mistixs]

Women do value men's appearances. And most women wouldn't date a guy who they found ugly.

The difference is that many men can get a boner from some random hot woman on the street who they don't know, whereas most women won't get a ladyboner from that. Most women need to know the guy better first; then they can get a ladyboner by seeing him look sexually appealing.

In essence, the visual is often a vital component for many women, just like for men. However, for men, this component is often the only component necessary, whereas most women need more than just the visual.

[ADFSDF1996]

That makes sense, but I am actually talking about "sexual arousal". Even though I am straight, I don't get sexually aroused just by seeing a random hot woman in the street. In fact even though I do have a high libido, only certain things (fetishes) can get me instantly sexually aroused.

[mistixs]

If you don't get aroused just by seeing a random hot woman, then maybe the way women see men isn't so different from the way you see women.

[ADFSDF1996]

Every person is different, some guys might get aroused instantly by seeing a hot woman. Some women even claim to instantly get arousef by seeing the man they think is hot. One woman even to told me that if she will even have the urge to do naughty things to the man.

[ADFSDF1996]

*One woman even told me that she will have the urge to do naughty things the man.

Sorry for the typos.

[mistixs]

Yup! Everybody's different!

If it makes you feel better, I did a poll asking the lowest number on the hotness scale you could fall in love with:
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2003974-what-s-the-lowest-number-on-a-hotness-scale-of-1-10-you-could-see
and women chose higher numbers than men. Which means, that women, more than men, will only fall in love with people they consider more attractive physically.
Of course it's a totally unscientific poll lol

[anonman32]

wow i am genuinely offended by the fact that you think a visual factor is the only thing necessary for a guy to be attracted to a woman. did you know that getting a boner does not always mean that you want sex? you have no control over getting a boner whatsoever. i dont know how it is for other men but the visual factor for me is not enough!

[mistixs]

@anonman32 I said "many" men, not all. The success of porn and playboy mags support my views on this

[anonman32]

you cannot compare porn and playboy magazines with attraction towards a real woman. thats not even remotely the same thing.

[mistixs]

@anonman32 op said that we were talking about "sexual arousal"

[anonman32]

you can't compare sexual arousal from porn with the real thing either. the real thing has emotional involvement.

[ADFSDF1996]

@anonman32 Yes, in real life most of us straight guys need both physical and emotional attraction to even consider dating a woman.

[mistixs]

Of course I am referring to sexual arousal and fap material. Most women need physical and mental attraction even for fapping material, most men don't

[ADFSDF1996]

could the reason why you need physical emotional attraction for sexual arousal be because of women naturally having lower testosterone and more estrogen?

[mistixs]

maybe

[ADFSDF1996]

That's the only logical explanation I can think of.

[mistixs]

it might also be because men are stronger than women, so it's more important that a woman get to know a man first before diving into things.

research shows that lesbians are more easily aroused by visuals than straight women, and part of that might be bc there's less of a difference in strength there. a woman can more easily defend herself against another woman if she gets attacked

[ADFSDF1996]

I don't know about that, it's interesting though.

[FashionQueen86]

First off, I want to apologize if I misunderstood what you were trying to convey, but here are my thoughts as a woman.

If you were to pull up an image of a man's and woman's bodies, I would have to admit, the woman's body is very appealing. It's the curves, the softness, beauty. If I'm talking about a man's body, I kind of imagine myself wanting to lay over him and have his arms around me, becuase a man's body reminds of me of strength and a sense of saftey if that makes sense, kind of like Superman, or other superhero characters. I know when I was in art class, we had to draw naked models, and I noticed that even women agreed that the naked female models were more entertaining to draw whereas the men's were a little more complicated.

As far as your visual question goes, I would think I'd be lying if I said a man's appearance didn't matter. It does, but I'd put myself in a deep hole if I depended on that as the MOST important aspect of a relationship. I do prefer if a man took care of himself, such as watching his weight, not smoking, doing drugs, drinking etc, because let me tell you, it is NO fun at all worrying about a loved one's health. It's a totally different thing if he was in an accident or has some type of disorder, but I mean the laziness and hardships it would bring to the household is what I don't support.

What concerns me more is why do you care so much what a woman thinks, especially to the point that it made you this depressed and angry? You are obviously much more than the opinions of women, and you are certainly not defined or limited to that. Men are very desirable. In fact, I speak to teenage girls on a daily basis and that is ALL they think about. If they get a boyfriend, nothing else matters, not even their best friends or the people that have been there for them first.

If you bump into a woman that genuinely loves you for you, that's all that matters whether you have the looks or not. And you should want a woman to love you more than that becuase as you age, I'm sure looks will fade. I admire marriages where couples have been together for 60 to 80s, where in their day they were full of youth, but right at the end they are dry skin and bones and gray, yet they still together.

Did that answer your question? If not, let me know.

[ADFSDF1996]

That's a very good explanation, however when you said women think that the "female models are entertaining to draw while the male models are more complicated, what does that mean. One more thing, since you said that the female body is very appealing, are men's bodies less appealing? You said that a Man's body reminds you of strength, is it that women don't find men's bodies appealing but like what men can do with their bodies?

[FashionQueen86]

The female models were easier to draw. They were simple whereas the guys were a little bulkier, had more muscle tone. Even if the woman was chubby, she was still easier to draw, like around the waist areas just required drawing simple curves, like a lazy "S". For a man's body, it's like his obliques are a little more defined, so, it's not as simple as an "S".

Women do find men's bodies appealing. I can only speak for myself, but based on what I've seen, women do drool.

[ADFSDF1996]

Women do "drool" for men? Why do people say women aren't visual though? Is it actually a myth?

[FashionQueen86]

You have to understand that men and women are different. Women may not make a big hype about how gorgeous a man looks, compared to a man who may whistle or shout at a girl, or even go as far as to inappropriately grab her butt, or do other things that make it obvious and noticeable that he's attracted to her. Women are a little more quiet about it, but that does not mean they aren't visual. They may flirt or hang around you a lot as a sign, which I notice a lot of teenagers do.

My take on it is that while women can be visual, they also really look for personality. For example, for me, It's VERY important if a man is willing to listen to me and not shut me up, or control me, or if he cares about my goals and dreams. I like a man who treats other people right. I love a man who can talk for hours and not be bored of me. If a man is not a nice guy, then his looks, or my visual preferences will no longer matter.

[ADFSDF1996]

Now I understand. The reason why I was angry was because I actually thought women didn't find men attractive all, I thought women looked at guys in the same perspective that us straight men look at men. So I thought men were being deceived, that's why I was angry. That was two months ago though, so now I feel better.

[FashionQueen86]

No, I think it's very untrue that women look at guys the same as straight guys look at guys, unless they are lesbian, or asexual.

[ADFSDF1996]

Exactly, thanks for sharing an opinion.

[the_rake]

this is actually a very good analysis of the situation, perhaps you would be interested in reading a few of my takes.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a26307-so-what-if-guys-only-care-about-looks

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a25912-when-focussing-on-the-internal-attributes-of-a-man-is-not-a-good-thing

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a25868-women-their-own-attraction-conundrum

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a24374-the-rake-s-dating-philosophy

The truth is that attraction is subjective - it's always different what one person finds attractive to another, just like how one person's food preferences are going to be different to somebody else. I think that there is just more 'universality' of desires among heterosexual men - who generally tend to prefer feminine features, narrow waist, voluptuous curves and a symmetrical/aesthetic face - than heterosexual women. The latter are often split between women who like men for aesthetic reasons, women connected for emotional reasons, women connected for economic reasons and women who are just attracted to somebody with a positive, confident outlook. Women also tend to be more gender fluid in so far that you find more girls willing to experiment sexually with people of their own gender. In fact, many 'heterosexual' women actually watch more lesbian pornography than men do. This is verified by a lot of pornographic search web data.

But at the end of the day there's no use getting frustrated (and I can definitely empathise with your qualms, believe me). That's because as long as attraction is subjective, there will always be SOMEBODY out there who finds you attractive, regardless of what qualities you have. Compare that situation to one where attraction was OBJECTIVE and you did not meet the criteria of objective attraction. In that situation, NOBODY would find you attractive. This situation would be a lot, lot worse.

So the answer to all this is, just do you to your greatest potential. It's better and easier to find somebody that finds you being you in the best possible way attractive than to find somebody who you're always having to fake it to impress.

[ADFSDF1996]

Thank you

[vonasaurus]

to start, physical attraction is an important part of any relationship. i would never date someone i didn't consider attractive, though that word is highly subjective and means something different for every person. but looks are only part of the puzzle.

"but von, what do you consider attractive?"

in terms of appearance, i'm a sucker for light-coloured eyes and dark hair. personality-wise, i wanted an intellectual equal who i can share my passions and big ideas with; i prefer a guy who's never been married, doesn't have kids or smoke, and prefers quiet nights at home to going out.

that said, i was willing to compromise on certain things. my boyfriend smokes like a chimney, but he checks all the other boxes. :)

to some, "attractive" is the captain of the football team; to others, it's the captain of the chess team, the band geek, the yearbook editor, all of the above, or none of them. but i speak only for myself~ you'll have to ask the other millions of straight women out there for their opinions.

[Anonymous]

i tottally get it...

but here is the thing... you read things "online" and that's where you went wrong... i used to do the same
i was just curious about the minds of men and women... thats all. it wasn't about WHAt they were thinking or doing it was more about WHY they thought and acted that way... and even though i didn't finish your whole MyTake (sorry) i get how you feel

and later on i found out its actually mostly not true (what i read about men at least) online..

my advice?
go to books written by Drs and psychologists stay clear from Cosmo and YAhoo answers and all that stuff
honestly, from the stuff i read in books written by actual psychologists and professionals... i fell in love with men lol just from reading the right stuff
i often saw them as cold, heartless and just plain monsters... but then when i read more about how they think and what they feel and their "deep downs" i kinda understood things better, learned how to deal with it better and found out men are just mushy little sweethearts under a layer of haarrrddd steel... haha

so yea... i get how you feel, just read the right sources
and drop all the politically correct ***** go for the real, scientifically based, neutral stuff
even if it sounds old fashioned or just weird...

in my opinion at least
good luck

[ADFSDF1996]

Thank you.

[FlutteringFeelings]

Okay i' am going to answer your question since no one seems to be doing that at this moment. I can't speak for everyone but maybe some might agree but i find a male attractive by the way he carries himself. I observe the way he walks and i observe the way he talks, his laughter, the sound of his voice, his lips , and his posture. I observe every little thing about him and i sit there and daydream.. I ponder and wonder if this is someone i actually like? If he's attractive of course ill look but its not going to be a big of a deal unless i am attracted to them because of personality wise. That's when personality steps in and then the feelings (emotions) comes in to play. Their personality is it what i see myself handling in the long run? I choose personality over looks big time so I can find someone really attractive but if there's a lack of conversation that is interesting.. no mutual feelings then ill automatically choose someone else. So basically yes, on the observing of the face women actually does the same. But we are made differently for a reason and i don't believe it'll ever get to a point when we understand the opposite sex fully without any confusions. Not every answer to your confusion is on the internet i hope you know that right? But i went through something similar when i was confused with the way males would act so i researched answer but it came to my mind that not everything we seek we will end up finding online. Bumped into GAG on the web and so far its been working good for me. It all depends on how you ask the question... Make a brief question and a short description also provide each person to give their experience on the time they were getting someone and fantasized when they were near.

[Agnes1987]

But he is asking if men are beautiful or good looking, just like women. I think they are. It seem is straight women who seem confused at whether men are good looking or not. As gender I Mean.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Well the problem you had was relying on the internet to get your facts. Because the truth of the matter is that women are humans and aren't defined by their gender, so their opinions and feelings towards men will reflect who they are as an individual.

Some women wan't the ideal man with the strong jawline and muscular body.

Some women love skinny, nerdy guys.

Some women don't care about looks PERIOD and personality alone.

Some women will fuck anything that buys them an expensive purse.

But in my experience, women (most of us) value looks and personality equally. It's human nature to desire a partner that you find at least moderately attractive, and it's common sense that you would want to find that person to have an appealing personality, otherwise, the likelihood of your relationship being successful would be minuscule.

[ADFSDF1996]

I think what bothers me is not knowing how exactly women find men attractive. I just don't see anything attractive in a man, I just wonder if the way us straight men find women attractive is the same way straight women find men attractive. Maybe it's just because I am straight that I am incapable of finding men attractive. I can tell if a man is "good looking" but that's about it, now if straight women only look at men like us straight men look at other men, then I can't really say women actually like us for our looks.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Well again, that depends on the woman. For me I'm attracted to face first, if you don't have an attractive face then your body means little to me. Then body wise I like average or fit. Some women, and I know them personally, like chubby and thick guys with nice faces, and I know others who don't like looks at all.

There are definitely general things that a large group of women may like (one thing women commonly like is height for example) but it won't apply to every woman. Racking your brain with what we could possibly all universally like is a fruitless venture.

[ADFSDF1996]

True, I know certain women like a man's face, but when a woman likes a man's face, do you think it's the same way us guys find a woman's face attractive?

[RJGraveyTrain]

I think we're different and we see things differently. A man, at least from what I understand, as I cannot speak for them all, see things in a more intimate light, whereas women see things in a more aesthetic-but-emotionally-based light. A man can see a woman and become aroused by her, but a woman is less likely to have the same reaction even to an attractive man. That's not guaranteed for either gender though, I'm generalizing here.

[ADFSDF1996]

So there are women that only look at men like straight man sees another man?

[RJGraveyTrain]

I couldn't tell you, I can only speak for myself and I don't certainly look at men "the way a straight man sees men." I see men from a feminine perspective because I'm a female.

[ADFSDF1996]

I don't get aroused just by looking at a woman, I don't even get aroused by seeing her in a bikini. I don't know how it is for a woman, but for us guys we can be sexually attracted to a woman and not be sexually aroused. Sexual attraction and sexual arousal are not the same. Aesthetic appeal (clothing style, body/facial structure) emotional attraction (romantic feelings and personality), and sexual attraction are what determines if I am attracted to a woman.

[NanaXXXX]

I've read through the entire text, but - to be honest - I might seem to fail to see the problem here. Evaluating everything you've said: Women do look at men the same way that straight men look at women.

The thing is just: It depends on each person. You look differently at people that are your "type" than you look at people that generally are not in your personal, subjective preference.

I think you're overthinking the whole situation a bit.

[Blink101]

Honestly, I'm struggling to understand what you mean. Are you asking about sexual attraction, romantic attraction or physical attraction? These things are typically related but not necessarily the same thing. There are people of both genders who can experience romantic or physical attraction without sexual attraction. There are also those of both genders who can experience sexual attraction without romantic or physical attraction. Heck, there are some people who can't experience sexual attraction unless they already have a romantic attraction to the other person irregardless of gender... I think that last one is called "demisexual." Perhaps the problem is the answers you've been given are framed too narrowly and people aren't giving you a broader understanding of attraction and/or sexuality.

[ADFSDF1996]

I'm referring to all three attractions.

[ManOnFire]

Women are actually more visual than they really admit. And what you read about women thinking other women are sexy is something I've talked about here before myself. I think they say/think that to seem like they're above wanting men physically like men do vice versa, so they have a veiled attitude where they will choose to be visual with other women before they show being visual with men.

Women most certainly have sexual feelings and see visual appeal in men, but try to pretend that "there's more to it for us" than there really is, so that they can seem like they're above a nature that they view as more carnal and lustful in men and not themselves.

[ADFSDF1996]

Interesting, well said. That is a very good explanation.

[davidpossey]

lol wtf women do find men physically attractive and they are not blind they know a good looking guy when they see one but if they had an option of picking guy a who is very good looking but he is your average nice guy he is just a normal joe or guy b who is not so good looking or not even tall and jacked but he is an alpha guy he is very confident, fun, isn't afraid to take risks, other hot women want him etc they will go for guy b now if there was guy c with the looks of guy a and the personality of guy b they would go for c

[RainbowFanGirl]

Women do find men attractive. If they didn't then we would have a crisis in our hands.

The thing that biologically separates us from men in most cases is that we tend to get attached to men that have an appealing personality rather than looks alone. We tend to focus more on this aspect.

To me, I think men tend to get attached mostly to physical features, rather than other things such as personality, which is why they end up in this state. While this can apply to both genders, I think just focusing on visuals can cause problems down the line.

[bones90]

this really isn't true at all, once you get older you might understand why. Men and women rate the importance of personality about the same, most people wants a nice person who is also at least reasonably intelligent, and thats not hard to find. So then finding someone with such a personality and also looks attractive is the more difficult part for men. While women want someone who has a nice personality and is physically attractive, they also want someone with social status, and wealth. The phenomenon is called hypergamy, women are more selective and demand more from men than the opposite, which is why marriage rates and birthrates are dropping at large. Many men are also less likely to do chivalrous things for women these days due to the fact that most women act entitled to it.

[lilac_flowers]

Dude you talk like my grandma.

"How are you grandma?"

"Ohhh my child, when I got up to brush my teeth 2 weeks ago and ate breakfast, remember that sausage you bought me for the hollidays? Yes that, well that one was really good, but then I felt something click and that was that day your cousin was coming over.."

...3 hours later...

"And then 4 days ago just when I was about to go to the doctor I went back because I ate and they told me not to, so I had to call them and..."

Grandma? :O

[ADFSDF1996]

I do t understand what you are saying.

[ADFSDF1996]

*don't

[lilac_flowers]

I am teasing you for writing too broadly and giving us each point of your research as it happened.

[ADFSDF1996]

Oh, I see😂.

[LaVilaine]

Hate to break it to you, honey, but you're never going to get one consistent answer. Women are individuals. They like different things. There will never be a consensus.

I think that's what your real problem is: you're viewing women as a homogeneous class with identical likes, dislikes, goals and fears instead of as individuals with diverse likes, dislikes, goals and fears.

[yololoyo]

From experience gals will enjoy your presence as long as you can activate their emotions that is good and bad ones so there's no need for you to try to figure them out in wich case is a massive waste of time
Enjoy

[ADFSDF1996]

Do women even look at us like we look at them?

[yololoyo]

It's irrelevant

[ADFSDF1996]

So I guess they don't. I think the reason why I am single is because I am too shy to approach women and I will find it a turn off if the woman only likes me for my personality and nothing else.

[somebodysaycheese]

If women didn't find men attractive... then we would have died out long ago. Keep in mind their are trolls online so never take them to serious.

[ADFSDF1996]

Is it the same kind of attraction as to when us straight men find a woman beautiful? Or do women only look at us guys like us straight guys look at other men? I think the reason why I wonder all this about women is because I don't find men attractive at all. I just don't see anything "beautiful" about a man. Women on the other hand, I find very attractive. Almost every woman I see is beautiful, not only that but even straight women admit that they find women more attractive than men.

[somebodysaycheese]

I think what men have a super hard time understanding is we aren't men and we dont think or see things exactly like them. No our attraction isn't the same in some respect. Its different but we are attracted to a man either physically, emotionally or sexually. Sometimes its all of them together, sometimes just two , sometimes one. Our attraction is more compartmental. Like a man will find a woman he thinks is physically attractive sexually attractive. For a woman (or me) just because im physically attracted to you doesn't mean im sexually attracted to you.

[ADFSDF1996]

I agree, I doubt men and women will ever be able to understand each other. If a man finds a woman attractive because of her face, do you think it's the same when a woman finds a man attractive because of his face? What is your definition of being physically attracted to someone?

[somebodysaycheese]

physically attractive is finding him hot, cute beautiful.

[ADFSDF1996]

Interesting, but I wonder if it's the same way as to when is guys find a woman physically attractive. As I said about a woman finding a man's face attractive, I wonder if it's the same way as to when a man finds a woman's face attractive.

[somebodysaycheese]

I don't know, im not a guy so i really couldnt tell you. But the face is the most important part for most women. Soo,, if that helps you measure anything

[ADFSDF1996]

It sort of helps, in what way is a man's face attractive? Physically/romantically (hot) or aesthetically (piece of art). keep in mind that by definition a person can be sexually attracted to someone and not feel sexually aroused.

[somebodysaycheese]

if he has a really nice face its sexually appealing.

[ADFSDF1996]

Now that makes sense. Thanks for your opinion👍.

[Anonymous]

It's pretty pointless asking people what they are like or how or what they would choose because they generally don't know themselves and most wouldn't tell the truth if they did.

Even testing them won't give accurate results unless the test is designed and conducted very very carefully.

[BubbleBoy69]

A man finds out what works by looking at other men and seeing what method works in actual dating scene.

A man who goes online or ask his female friends for advice on how to attract women is a fool. Hence, why i often shake my head when guys post up female only response questions asking girls if they like guys who (insert here), what do girls like etc.

[Opinion Owner]

@BubbleBoy69

You speak truth. The way to find out about women is to watch what they do and ignore what they say about it. The talk is like a magician's misdirection when he is about to do a trick.

That and to make no untried assumptions. Most men overthink and overestimate women. Women aren't simple but what makes them look impossibly complex is usually that the guy has made a bad assumption without realizing it.

[Azara]

physical attraction personality attraction can I trust him not to rape me.

If all f those things are yes then we're good to go. Economics has zero role in my attraction.

[ADFSDF1996]

The only thing that I still don't understand is physical attraction. When a woman calls a man sexy/hot (he has a attractive face) does it really mean the same as to when a man calls a woman sexy/hot?

[Arthurred]

To be honest every girl is different, and they may say something and do something else like if they say that won't date a guy under 6ft but end up dating a 5ft9 guy because he made her laugh and charmed her with a great smile. It's our job as men to approach women and if she says No then there is always a girl who says YES. Girls don't always make sense but you just got to roll with the punches because the one's who weren't interested aren't going to matter, what matters are the ones who are.

[Sincerely73]

As a woman who has had depression anxiety and I've in my life, I really feel you would benefit from going to a psychiatrist and getting some medication. I take zoloft myself and it covers all those and more. And counseling might help as well. Also, look up Dr. Hegstrom on YouTube. Don't go looking for random answers online because everyone has a different opinion. Also, look up the 5 love language's on Google helped me a lot. As well as personality test. One thing I'd like to understand better is how you want to be seen and loved by women? You said, like men do women. Define what that means to you. Don't feel bad most men and women don't understand each other or sometimes even ourselves. Men and women are so different in our views our bodies our hormones, experiences, and more and the more I've learned from the right sources the more I understand. Hope this encourages you and helps!

[ADFSDF1996]

I just wish that when I get a girlfriend, she will love me in the same way I love her. I'll be honest with you, I've become skeptical that women can actually have romantic feelings for men. I think the only love women feel is motherly love for their children. I just don't see how a woman can find a man physically and visually attractive. I think every man is unattractive. Now a woman on the other hand, I can appreciate her beauty, even a lot of straight women say they get turned on by other women. Also when I use to visit a psychiatrist, he gave me Zoloft. What I feel right now is anxiety.

[aliceinwonderland69]

The truth is women care about all of these things. I don't understand why this made you angry tho.

[ADFSDF1996]

The thought that women look at us guys like us straight guys look at other guys is what really angered me. In other words I felt that women didn't really appreciate the physical appearance of men like us guys appreciate the physical appearance of women.

[ADFSDF1996]

If women actually care for all those things, then that's a relief, because I wouldn't date a woman if she only finds me "attractive" for my personality, social and economic status.

[aliceinwonderland69]

Why not? Surely that's a good thing. Youd rather she only dated u for ur looks.

[the_rake]

'Youd rather she only dated u for ur looks.'

Or at the least be attracted to guys in a similar way men are to women. Think about it: good personality qualities are something you can find in someone of the same gender, sometimes even a dog (animals just don't have verbal intelligence like we do, or the same perception of time and space, etc.). So the women that call themselves 'heterosexual' are not really 'heterosexual' so much as gender fluid and it means that their preferences are highly irrational, being attracted to qualities that are fleeting and incredibly variable. Especially if a woman turns round and says something like, "ok I want a guy with a nice personality but he must also have nice shoes, but I don't care about anything else extrinsic". At this point the variables become chaotically out of control and makes the dating game 100 times harder for most men.

[ADFSDF1996]

I'd rather she be attracted to both my looks and personality just like I would be attracted to her looks and personality.

[ADFSDF1996]

Even if a woman thinks I'm "physically attractive", I still don't know if she means it the same way I as a guy mean it when I think a woman is physically attractive. I get the feeling if a woman finds a certain man "attractive" she only means he is attractive in a artistic manner, not in the same way us guys look at women. Another example, if a woman thinks a man has a "sexy" or "beautiful" face I don't know if she means it in the same way I would mean it if I find a certain woman's face sexy/beautiful. The thought that women are incapable of finding a man appealing in the same way us guys find certain women appealing is the main reason why I got angry and frustrated. By the way, a man can be sexually attracted to a woman and not be sexually aroused. I am skeptical that it's the same vice versa, I am skeptical that it's the same vice verse. I often think women don't even find men sexually sexually attractive.

[Agnes1987]

@the_rake yeah, exactly if women only like men for they higiene and clothes, like, women have the exact same thing and usually dress better and are more clean, so why you ain’t go for a woman? Haha

[Agnes1987]

I gonna give some advice that can hurt you a little bit. Go to Reddit. Get into a lesbian section, a see what lesbian say about women’s appearance. You will see women were visual a love women’s appearance. I’ve never heard a straight women talk about men the way lesbian talk about women.

I don’t know why straight women struggle finding Beauty in the gender they supposedly are attracted to. But is exclusive of straight women. Lesbian don’t have that attitude nor gay men. Only let me tell you something. Men are beautiful, don’t ever think something different. If women can’t see that is their problem. But is there is nothing wrong with men’s looks. Is more like straight women are confused somehow. Hahaha

[Agnes1987]

"women are visual and love women's appearance"