An Honest Look at What I've Learned About Women (It May Surprise You)

An Honest Look at What I've Learned About Women (It May Surprise You)

If there is anything that this past month has afforded me, it has been the opportunity to reflect. That is, to reflect upon recent events and their consequences as well as my own emotions. From the dichotomy between what I *thought* I believed about women and what I have actually experienced from them, the results have been surprising to say in the least. Truly eye-opening.

#1) Appearances Can be Deceptive

An Honest Look at What I've Learned About Women (It May Surprise You)

If you had approached me about this topic a few months ago, my answer would have been predictable: appearances mean everything. You can deduce a plethora of information about women from the type of clothing that they wear to the way they talk. Hasty generalizations! But my recent experiences in the workplace have been interesting to say in the least. I have learned that in reality, there is very little you can deduce about a woman from such trivial factors. For example, I would have thought that the seemingly innocent young Christian girl who rides horses would have been wholesome, selfless, and loving. Well, we all saw how that worked out for me. I likewise would have thought that the goth girl with piercings, tattoos, and dark makeup would have been the stereotypical liberal feminist atheist. That was until I discovered her praying in the break room and learned that she was actually very innocent, wholesome, and genuine despite her unorthodox appearance. The big intimidating lesbian with the short hair whom I was almost certain would be mean and unpleasant? She was one of the nicest and most caring of my coworkers.

I learned that after a while, I was wrong

Appearances can be deceptive, and avoiding hasty generalizations is not just a gutless act of political correctness but an actual necessity because not everyone is the same. More significantly however, I learned that this is especially the case as it pertains to female emotions. I learned that just because a woman appears happy, content, and innocent, it does not mean that she is truly any of those things. The woman who dragged my name through the mud, she appeared innocent, happy, and sweet. She even flirted with me and engaged in conversation. I thought we had something good going. But she turned out to be very deceptive, cunning, and dishonest. Likewise, many of the women whom I was initially averse to actually ended up being very nice, friendly, and genuine.

Thus, appearances can be deceptive, and you cannot judge a woman until you get to know her. The fact that women are so proficient at hiding their true colors makes it that much more important.

#2) With Age Comes Maturity

An Honest Look at What I've Learned About Women (It May Surprise You)

I have always had a thing for older women. But never before had I understood it as well as I do now. I have learned that age truly does play an important part in how mature a person is, and that depending upon the stage in life, a few years truly can entail a world of differences. Pursuing a 17 year old was a bad idea, simply put, up there with disco and Reaganomics. Three years may not sound very significant in the long run, but when hormones, emotions, and maturity are involved, then it might as well have just been a hundred years. Females are very complex creatures, even when they seem happy, content, and simple. More often than not, there is an emotional train wreck of estrogen and tears behind that cute, smiling young girl. Refer to my previous point about women being so adept at hiding their emotions and appearances being deceptive.

Never again will I pursue a younger woman

Older women, like all older people I assume, have had more time to mature and outgrow the baggage of their youth. From the age of 24 to 30, I think women are the most approachable, sincere, and down to Earth. Never has an older woman looked down upon me or dragged my name through the mud the way a younger one has. Moreover, older women have a more realistic view of the world and what they truly want out of life. They have learned to derive happiness not externally but from themselves within. This is in stark contrast to younger women who need attention from other people in order to feel "wanted" and/or "validated." I believe that attention to younger women is akin to what sex is to younger men. Both have the power to drive them to make faulty choices.

From this moment on, I will stick only to older women.

#3) Virginity is Not the Only Thing that Counts

An Honest Look at What I've Learned About Women (It May Surprise You)

I have always been rigid about this. Virginity is an absolute must in a woman. No hymen no diamond. A woman's sexual past informs us of her present and future. While the latter statement may be true, I have learned that virginity is not the only thing that counts, and that you cannot entirely judge a woman based off of her sexual past alone. People make mistakes and engage in stupid and immoral decisions. But they also learn, and grow as individuals. And thus, while I will never agree with the feminist notion that men are somehow obligated to accept slutty women after they have finished having their fun, I also do not believe that you should automatically dismiss a woman either just because she has a past or made some stupid, slutty decisions in her life.

Learning is a part of being a human.

Because many of these women are good people. From former prostitutes, strippers, and sex workers to basic sluts and single mothers, sometimes the greatest people in life are the disenfranchised. Take my supervisor the head cashier for example. She is the rocker type whom I know is sexually liberal, and probably a lesbian in the closet who is afraid to come out. And yet, she was the one who hugged me when I was on the verge of crying at work, and consoled me when no one else was there. When she talks to me, she actually talks to me like an equal, like another person, opposed to a subordinate or someone inferior like so many women have to me in my life before. For that reason alone, she is one of the friends I truly love in life even if I know we will never be together.

An Honest Look at What I've Learned About Women (It May Surprise You)

The same goes for single mothers, women whom we would traditionally consider less appealing because they carry baggage and the like. And granted, while no man should allow himself to be taken advantage of, not all single mothers are bad people either. Many of them are some of the nicest and most genuine women I have ever met. Perhaps the struggles they face with motherhood, being alone, and the sorrow of it all has caused them to be more humble and appreciative of the little things. Never will they consider themselves "better" than someone else, which is more than most of us can say about ourselves. I wish I had the Christian humility of a single mother.

Thus, I guess what I am trying to say is this: do not automatically dismiss a woman just because she is disenfranchised, not a virgin, or made some stupid sexual decisions in life. Granted, you should be careful and not just settle for any ex-slut who decides that she is done with Chad Thundercock. But you should not outrightly dismiss all women with a past either. Because if you do, then you are hurting no one but yourself. You are depriving yourself of many sincerely good women who would make incredibly loving partners, if only you can learn to forgive and focus on the future.

#4) What Matters Most is Surprising

An Honest Look at What I've Learned About Women (It May Surprise You)

Finally, the main thing I learned about women and my own particular tastes in them is that in the end, what matters most is very surprising. What I thought I wanted out of a woman is vastly different from what I actually want out of a woman after garnering a little bit of experience. This revelation has been astounding. I learned that what matters most to me in a woman is not that she is a virgin or the perfect traditional girl, but that she actually speaks to me as an equal and as a person.

Not being dismissed as inferior or unworthy is the most important thing to me. That she actually views me as an equal and respects me as a person is priceless.

At the end of the day, I learned that most of the things I thought I wanted out of a woman were trivial at best. In reality, I could care less about whether or not she is a virgin or can prepare an amazing, five course dinner and give me a lap dance. I learned that when I meet a woman whom I truly "click" with, that is, one who actually believes in me and respects me as a person the way my mother does, few things matter after that. I am drawn to women who speak to me as an equal, ones who do not think that they are somehow "better" than me or that I have to prove myself to them.

Is this why so many amazingly attractive, 10/10 women settle for overweight losers in the end? Because they actually respect them and treat them as people and not objects?

I would rather be with an ex-prostitute who has slept with thousands of men but at least speaks to me as a person and regards me as an equal than I would a "pure" woman who has never even masturbated but always speaks condescendingly toward me and views herself as superior. When my supervisor for example hugs me and says that I can come to her at any time, my thoughts are not "eww gross, this is a lesbian/she is dirty and unclean" but that "wow, she actually cares!"

An Honest Look at What I've Learned About Women (It May Surprise You)

In the end, all I want from a woman is to be loved. I do not care if she is a slut or a single mother.

An Honest Look at What I've Learned About Women (It May Surprise You)
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Most Helpful Guy

  • goaded
    This is obviously a huge improvement on your earlier takes, well done.

    It occurs to me that if you think it is wrong to dismiss people as inferior or unworthy, perhaps you should stop referring to people as sluts (even better, stop thinking of people that way).

    Don't suggest they are more deceptive than men, like this:

    "... you cannot judge a woman until you get to know her. The fact that women are so proficient at hiding their true colors makes it that much more important."

    Nobody can or should judge anyone else without getting to know them. Bear in mind that you, as a strong, young, older male, got your feelings hurt by a woman who was deceptive. If you were the deceptive one, she could have ended up beaten, raped or even killed. Which one of you has more reason to be excessively careful meeting someone new?

    Also, what is this?

    "... this is a lesbian/she is dirty and unclean".

    Firstly, I don't think you know for sure she's a lesbian (you haven't had time to get to know her well enough), and even is she was that wouldn't make her "dirty and unclean"; it's got nothing to do with you. That you ever thought that about another person is worrying.

    Still, it has been good to see the progress you're making.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Relentless_Hippie
    I think you're a nice person. But you focus way too much on women and I don't think it's healthy. I counted and about 14 of your takes were either about women or was about a topic involving women. And that's just from what I could tell by the titles alone. You need to stop placing such high value and importance on women just because they're women and focus on yourself. If you meet your dream girl then great, but women are no better and no worse than men. You're focused on them too much and it's not good for you.
    Is this still revelant?
    • yeah women are just women. they are like men. They have vaginas. He put pussy on pedestal!

    • @8hardinches Well, I wouldn't have phrased it that way but yes. Anytime anyone does that about anything they're setting themselves up to be severely disappointed and heartbroken.

    • wrong about one thing, women are certainly worse than men overall. Men are the superior gender.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Blonde401
    I think you've grown a lot in the last couple of months and I'm glad to see it. I think life becomes much cleaner and more enjoyable when you stop finding ways to hate or dislike or put down others. We are all human beings, we all make mistakes, we all have different ideas about how to live life and where we're going. Just be kind to people and get to know someone before you judge them and life is so much better, I promise.
  • acka72
    I've had the same experience the other way around as well. I like that you can view women as more than a Campbell' Tuna can.

    Best of luck finding your love. I have no doubt that You will find the right woman.
  • joemm
    I've learned over the years that women want a guy who takes care of himself. This is why I eat right, exercise and stay away from intoxicants. I even started using one of those penis health cremes every day. This creme improves my skin texture and hygiene down there. It even helps with function. Check it out.
  • Unit1
    With the exception for age (as for me, age is just a number, I only look for her personalities, not age stereotypes (= any person can be good, young or old, age doesn't matter to me)) I do agree with everything you said. Your research was well done and I could follow with every detail you said there.

    Actually every point you made can be applicable for guys too! We can learn from it together.

    Good read!
  • Brokenheartedx
    U can spend ur life looking for love and it might never happen.. be realistic what u never had will u miss? No.. I'm exactly the same as you I have never been loved or felt loved by a man in my life... at first I was upset when I realised I was just unloveable but now I accept it.. I'm used to it..

    it's hard to see yourself in the light why it's you that no one cares about.. but as long as u kno u have so much love to give to someone else and they aren't for sharing theirs then you will always be the winner... they lose out on what you had to give them.. I've just given up completely focusing on other things.. maybe do it yourself.. go travelling see the world do stuff rather than mope.. you can mope on a nice beach surrounded in exotic beauties that will kno doubt dig ur accent... that's what you should do.. on ur travels you may find love
    • FatherJack

      You are NOT " unlovable " , please don't think like that !! Your posts on here prove you are quite the reverse !!

    • No I really am.. and since I realised it I'm better for it- I don't search for it nomore. I think men can sense when someone is vulnerable and been abused all her life they take advantage pretending they like me when they don't.. if I take myself out the equation no one can hurt me. I've had enough of men treating me bad I don't blame them more myself for allowing it.. but because I'm so vulnerable I fall into a pattern when it comes to men. I allow them to treat me like rubbish and they only love the parts that they can get away with they don't or won't ever love me.

    • goaded

      I don't know you.

      I can't say you are loved, because of that, but I think you might well have more life than someone who is tied to a fixed location, and there has to be someone out there for you!

      Give up at 3.5billion No's, not before!

    • Show All
  • RedHood7
    @JRICHARDS1996 this is like, the 5th MyTake of your that I've read, and I agree 100%. I relate a lot to your worldview.
  • Other_Tommy_Wiseau
    Do you also want me to tell you that water is wet, Santa isn't real and the world wasn't actually going to end in 2012?
  • MagiAlphaOne
    Men should be aware of the ramifications of promiscuous behavior. Consider these points...

    - If she has a history of being with other Men, she needs to be tested for STDs and STIs.
    - According to the CDC, young people aged 15 to 24 years acquire half of all new STDs and 1 in 4 sexually active adolescent females have an STD.
    - Sexually active adolescents aged 15 to 19 years and young adults aged 20 to 24 years are at higher risk of acquiring STD’s.
    - According to The National Survey of Family Growth (CDC), women with 0-1 partners were the LEAST likely to divorce.
    - The more promiscuous a woman is, the more likely she is to divorce.
  • Softshock
    "In the end, all I want from a woman is to be loved. I do not care if she is a slut or a single mother."
    Such a bizarre ending. Perhaps you should reexamine your idea of slut.
  • ToruMatsuda
    No 1. was obvious, you really shouldn't judge people on how they look
    • Luvme66

      but its basic human tendency to do... we can't help it even if know this lines

  • Callieeee
    That's good😊

  • Luci92
    Very interesting to read, I enjoyed this :)
  • Barrabus_the_Free
    Swing and a miss.
  • 19MK34
    You've learned nothing boyo.
  • relaxrelax
    yes and no
  • lazermazer
    Good take
  • Anonymous
    one of the best takes i've read on this site. agree with most stuff. i've been deceived by a super cunning, manipulative, innocent looking one as well. these are the worst... .
  • Anonymous
    Older woman 25 to 30. Under all the wishfulness still lies a misogynistic cunt.
  • Anonymous
    I think 1, 3 and 4 will stick. And glad to see you've learned them.

    2? You're just generalizing. Sure your mom is great and that 17 year old was an insecure, dangerous flake. -maybe- she will improve with age. But my guess? She will be pretty flakey at 30. And your mom was probably pretty mature at 18.

    Experience matures people. Character has a lot to do with it. Age... Is only weakly correlated with maturity.
  • Anonymous
    disgusting take.
  • Anonymous
    Great mytake but, I would just say that #2 is not always true. I dealt with two women, close to their thirties, that had the maturity of teenagers.
    • 19magic

      thank you, maturity is something gleamed from past experiences, not by the total number of years since you've been conceived.

  • Anonymous
    i've seen your takes and in my honest opinion... one day you will realize that women are no longer worth it. my 2 cents
  • Anonymous
    Virginity is one of the things that I look for when it comes to date. A non virgin girl can never be my girlfriend. I may sleep with her but never date her. I prefer to hook up only with non virgins but I date only virgins

    I did say Virginity is ONE of the THINGS I look for when it comes to DATE.
    • Anonymous

      Why would anyone downvote this? Why do you hate my standards, girls? Cause you don't fit in them? Lol

    • U only bang virgins so they don't realise what a shyte ride you are.. ur getting on a bit Virgins will be in low stock n the gigs up for u.. u will be known as the man with the small willy

    • Anonymous

      @Brokenheartedx Girl I only band non virgins. I only date virgins. Your shead couldn't understand my comment. And who are you to judge me who I date and who I bang? I am sure if I judge you for something that is not my business you will lash out

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    What matters most to women:
    Social Status

    Women and maturity is brought about not by learning to better themselves but by less people willing to put up with their shit.
    • gukikip

      What do you nean by social status? Being respected by people?

    • Anonymous

      @gukikip Popularity. How many people like you. Social connections. i. e. Friends with powerful people who can do favors for you.

  • Anonymous
    Amazing myTake!

    Very well thought-through and just well written in general. I find myself agreeing with basically everything. You point about pursuing 'older' women (24-30 isn't exactly old, but I know what you mean by it) is quite compelling. I already have had some bad experiences with girls who simply didn't have a clue what they want.