Women can't be cool!

[Anonymous]

My theory on this is that there is possibly some truth to it. The cool energy that men give off comes from the fact that we males deep down know we are expendable and you ladies aren't. That relaxed chill vibe, that charm, that risk taking some men have is a masculine force.

Now I know people are gonna say but but but what about that lady from Aliens. No, just no. She ACTS and LOOKS like a dude which is why she did seem interesting.

Even then she doesn't have that raw masculine coolness like the Rock.

Men by nature are creatures of the cool and masculine. (Male power)

Women are creatures of reproduction and sex. (Female power)

[ObscuredBeyond]

Coolness is a broad concept. But there is a point to it: the path to it for a woman is usually different than the path a man takes. Women who try to hard to act like men, only to fail, are an embarrassment for men and women alike.

For a woman, it's finding that balance between being self-sufficient and witty enough to not be completely helpless; yet still kind, sweet, and humble enough to let the man take the lead when he is able. Such, that she can be the hero in a scene when no one else can; but doesn't believe she has to "prove" herself by way of stealing thunder from anyone else.

This is evident in film, even recently. Alita works; because she has it all. And yet, she has it all for reasons that are completely justified all throughout the film. Yet, the male leads still have what they have. Both their talents and their limitations have perfectly fair explanations that make sense.

Captain Marvel doesn't work... because she doesn't have it all. She has a zero-sum Mary Sue mindset. Everything is simply given to her; but she doesn't truly earn it. She never grows as a character, other than to obtain a larger set of arbitrary abilities. She's never humble, never sweet, and is way too proud to ever take a backseat to anyone.

When put in the field with Nick Fury, who is a bit more experienced with things and would know more about what to tell her regarding what to do next, all his training, experience, and Sam Jackson coolness is suddenly arbitrarily nerfed; because the writers couldn't figure out how to make her look more awesome without making Sam Jackson suck.

That, and the stupid twist with the badly-CGI'd cat thing. Thus, the Russos had to come up with the most arbitrary cop-outs to keep the Mary Sue Brigade from destroying their Endgame film.

This is why Alita was able to win over fans that weren't won over to Captain Marvel. Women can be well-written; but you have to write her differently than you would a man. And still make both behave somewhat believably.

I don't so much mind a woman that has some glory to her; but I can't stand when it feels like she only has it because she stole it from a man, and is merely robing herself in his outfit. It feels disingenuous, and is born of a mindset all to common a plague in today's world: the fallacy of zero-sum economics.

Here's how that translates:

1. A male figure is cool.
2. Crybabies whine that it's not "fair," because women don't have the same level of cool on some arbitrary pie graph.
3. The pie graph becomes their god.
4. Women need their "turn," because men have held the mantle for thousands of years. Waaaaaah!
5. SJWs are too uncreative to make a woman that is cool by reasonable feminine standards; and insist only the masculine form is valid. Any film or book or anything that proves them wrong "doesn't count," because they say so (and because they weren't the ones who came up with it, hence, another reason it "doesn't count.")
6. Poof! We get some "new" thing - that is almost 100% identical to something we already have; except a woman is wearing a man's clothing and a man's swagger of "cool." And looking totally disingenuous while doing so. But hey! The lead got a last-minute gender-swap; so that makes everything "better," and therefore, it's a "totally original" work! Never mind it all plays out like absolutely awful fanfiction of the original work! THE PIE GRAPH, DAMMIT! These never-grown-up mental toddlers insist that they're making it "equal," and therefore, "fair," and that makes them "virtuous," so nothing else they say or do matters.

Such immaturity and lack of nuance regarding why gender matters is stemmed in the fatherlessness epidemic of our times. Without a dad at home in far too many families (or a sub-par stepdad figure being the closest a kid gets,) the mom usually has to do the work of both - and is strained to the limit on account of it. So kids don't know up from down.

[dantetheexplorer]

You're certainly entitled to your "theory".
That's your prerogative and no one can take that away from you.

I, however, beg to differ:

Jeon Ji Hyun as Otonashi Saya in Blood: The Last Vampire:

Nanao as Kijima Matoko:

Liu Yifei as Mulan:

Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow:

Kate Beckinsale as Selene:

[dantetheexplorer]

* Kijima Matako

[ObscuredBeyond]

All examples of coolness in women done right. Glad you left Tank Girl and Captain Marvel off the list. Because they are wannabes.

[dantetheexplorer]

@ObscuredBeyond I was thinking of putting Hit-Girl.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Almost forgot about Hit-Girl. Then again, I never got into Kick-Ass, so the cast never meant anything to me.

[Staiby]

"That relaxed chill vibe, that charm, that risk taking some men have is a masculine force" wtf. why is a relaxed-chill vibe, charm and risk taking considered masculine? does the relaxed-chill vibe and charm come directly out of the dick and balls? risk taking? the brain is responsible for decision making, not the dick and balls. and women have brains. why does risk taking belong to men?

Women are creatures of sex and reproduction... and men aren't creatures of sex and reproduction? Men friggin love sex. Stereotypes say that men are the horniest gender and I bet that's accurate. Men are fertile 24/7 until the day they die. Women are fertile for a few days of the month until their 40s. Why are men not the creatures of sex and reproduction.

In other words, what is wrong with you?

[MilkiiStrawberriis]

Men actually take more risks than women. It's psychologically proven that in a situation of stress, they'd take the more dangerous option if desperate whereas women try to find the risks even then.

The relaxed, chill vibe isn't exclusively men but there's a reason for this. Women are more emotionally driven than men are. This isn't to say that they hold more emotions than men, but women are proved to have more emotion-based decisions. Men tend to take it upon themselves to deal with. Women are also more social because they seek out help more times than men do.

Men are creatures of sex, not reproduction. But please don't put those stereotypes that men are really horny all the time. It's not about being fertile, it's about your sex drive. Men take more risks to achieve something than women do, so men who rape are taking the risk of having sex without consent. Men aren't the creatures of reproduction because they can't reproduce, women can.

[Staiby]

@MilkiiStrawberriis

Well women aren't received well when they express the same emotion and the same amount of emotion as a man, who is received well. www.huffingtonpost.com.au/.../people-reward-angry-men-but-punish-angry-women-study-suggests_n_561fb57be4b050c6c4a47743

I didn't put out that stereotype that men are really horny all the time. I said that men are the horniest gender I was clear about it being a stereotype. But yes I did say I'm willing to bet that it's accurate. quick google search: A 2001 review found that, on average, men have a higher desire for sex than women. So I win my bet.

Men CAN reproduce. What are you talking about? In fact there's really no limit to the amount of children a man can father www.theguardian.com/.../sperm-donor-man-who-fathered-200-children

Men are fertile 24/7 until the day they die. Women are fertile for approximately 1600 days in their life times if she beings menstruating at 13 and enters menopause at 45. Men are far more fertile than women so why are men not creatures of reproduction?

[MilkiiStrawberriis]

@Staiby
Sorry for the late reply, i completely forgot about this site for a while lol.

Yes, they aren't, but that's because the more expressive and emotionally attached you are (in actions), the more confusing you can get. Men aren't that emotionally attached when it comes to decision making, and psychologically proved that they are less expressive, but not lacking. So I still stand by this.

By reproducing, I meant making the babies through pregnancy but it can go both ways. Like women have reproductive organs that can make children, not men.

[Staiby]

@MilkiiStrawberriis

Just because it's something men are more inclined to do, doesn't make it "masculine". it's a trait. is "jealous" masculine or feminine? is "quiet" masculine or feminine?

and what are talking about? a penis and testicles ARE reproductive organs. They, with the vagina, make a baby.

[MilkiiStrawberriis]

I never said it was masculine, I said it was more male than female.

[RDStrong]

"the brain is responsible for decision making, not the dick and balls." Human behaviour is heavily dicated by hormonal balance of the individual. They're essentially the keys that unlock certain behaviours. Testosterone for instance is linked to dominance, aggressiveness, and risk-taking behaviour.

[Staiby]

@RDStrong also hair loss...

[Anonymous]

Okay so you are simply extremely ignorant and dumb. c: If you think females was created for reproduction only then you are a douchebag and I hope you’ll never get a girl because you don’t deserve one a single bit.

But yeah what you’re saying is that since I’m a girl, all I’m dreaming of is to get in bed and have a ton of children. YEAH that’s the only thing that’s in my head! Absolutely. And all you males are cool. Wow soooo cool. Especially guys like you. Wow. Ignorant dumbass if you seriously think this then think again because you’re a jerk. I hope this question is a troll cause otherwise you need help.

[ThisIsMyOpinion]

I think it is a troll take. Still this is going to be fun to watch.

[Staiby]

@ThisIsMyOpinion it's hard to know. people can easily say this stuff and mean it

[Nadim171]

@Anonymous I 100% agree!

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

It's true that some men possess a certain masculine charisma and presence which women can't replicate.

But then, I can't imagine most women would want to imitate men's version of 'cool'.

There's some truly bad-ass women out there (hell, there are women who spend their life hunting down and killing ISIS members, let's see Dwayne Johnson one-up that lol).

Thing is, the popular media for the most part has no idea how to produce "cool" warrior-type female characters. They get hung up on the "anything you can do, I can do better" aspect, which kinda just reinforces how much cooler their comparative male leads are (The Ghostbusters reboot succeeded in making Bill Murray seem cool again...).

Hollywood writers in general seem to struggle with writing cool female characters. Some of the independent filmmakers and fiction novelists fare much better in this regard.

Personally I find some of the coolest female characters to be the more "femme fatale" types who use their feminine sexuality and presence to get what they want, rather than try to compete with the boys.

And of course, the story itself can create an expectation of who is "cool" and who isn't. In Breaking Bad, Walter White goes from bumbling, submissive nobody to fearless criminal kingpin. The viewer in turn finds this transformation "cool" while also growing in eventual disgust at the character's developing amorality. That contradiction makes the character more interesting than if they casted Dwayne Johnson and said "just do the Dwayne Johnson badass shtick".

Walter's wife Skyler, meanwhile, was near-universally despised, even though she was just caught in the reaction to her husband's criminal actions. But the story portrayed her as a nag and a drain on her husband's newfound virility. So it's taken as implicit that no matter how "badass" she tries to be like her husband (setting up a money laundering front and crushing it), she will never have that effortless "cool".

The Sopranos was similar in this regard: a 'complicated' and dangerous but inherently chill/ confident/ alpha male lead (Tony Soprano) overshadows his increasingly-distant wife, only for the audience to eventually turn against him because of his increasing sociopathy.

It seems like that symbolic male "coolness" is often linked implicitly with 'danger'. These men are cool because they can face dangerous situations, and actually come out MORE composed and confident and undeterred (Walter White: "I am not IN danger, I AM the danger").

This speaks to the modern male, the majority of whom lead average, comfortable, dangerless lives. But we men still seek that danger on a primal level. We want to go slay a lion out on the savannah but most won't give up their comfortable modern lifestyle to do so.

So we play out symbolic analogues, living vicariously through the Dwayne Johnsons and Walter Whites portrayed in the media as fearless badasses.

Women don't really share this desire to seek out and overcome danger, since in evolution terms they were the home-carers and child-bearers-- much of the "danger" was outsourced to the men (although women would still defend the nest from attackers if required).

But they are nonetheless attracted to those male sex icons who encompass that masculine ability to face danger and laugh in its face.

[tenukitanuki]

Literally almost every single horror movie features a badass female protagonist that overcomes an insane murdering force that's torn through everyone else.

You are the lowest rent Christopher Hitchens I've seen and we're not even in a fucking bar, mang. The archetype of deadly cool women mostly comes from Scythian (amazons), Slavic, and Nordic communities; Artemis down to Kali-- I'm sure if you tried you could find more. Please don't give them a reason to write another fucking book about a god damn chinese female pirate or something. Just accept that shit has always been wild and some Arya Stark type of bitch makes it through just like that one crazy dude in the stories.

And like a horror film, or even Stark, they must go through Hell itself just like men are tested in a crucible of anguish. Want to hear my theory about people that have clearly never gone through some shit? They're always yelping for attention but never much to add, they just want the conversation... like they're baiting

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

I see that you may not like the way this lady looks. She's not pretty and feminine as you would like all women should be. Well, in the movie, it shows a realistic possibility as if in real situations. Women who work among men, they have to be aware of men's sexual desire. To protect themselves, being sexy is risky. As well as for their jobs.

Personally, I work with lots of men. Sometimes it's only me as a woman when I had to be a part of my team in a remote place. It's my responsibility to behave well, not dressing too revealing, not to smile flirty to all men around me because it could be a cause of unfairness and so on. Some men are more emotional than you think. I am aware of those too.

However, most of the time, it's men who tell me I am cool and calm. I think it depends on how hormones play in our bodies. I never have my blood checked, I'm interested that maybe I have the testoterone level higher than some men. The way our brains process things differ too.

In short, we all are different. Every individual has a unique character. I recommend this documentary to you:

The Secrets of Sexes

https://youtu.be/TxSkJya07FI

It explains why some men are masculine, some are not; why some women are feminine, some are not. (Quite old but very useful)

Hope you enjoy it. 😊

[CubsterShura]

Damn someone's got badly rejected by the cool girl 😂 dude stop, you will never reach the level of coolness that plenty of women got out there. Heck, you will never get to the level of coolness that some female historical women had, or even the level of coolness that some of my own female best friends got. 🤷

Lemme bomb down the truth. Cool women exist. The media never portrays the female lead or the sexy woman as cool because that's not what YOU GUYS are looking for. It's because they portray an image that will get the most audience. If men don't prefer the 'cool' traits in a woman, it's ok, ain't nobody forcing you to like it. But don't just come up and say women ain't cool because of friggin' Cardio B!! The heck 🤦🤦🤦

[CubsterShura]

Also, let's talk about how women are the creatures of sex when men literally get turned on by a fucking mannequin and can't think beyond spreading their seeds.

[Милашка]

Sluts are like that too. They always think of banging new guys

[CubsterShura]

@Милашка and your point is?

[Милашка]

You know what it is. Being addicted to sex makes one boring and lame

[CubsterShura]

@Милашка and what does that have to do with anything I said, again?

[Милашка]

you judge sexual addiction. So do you judge sluts too?

[CubsterShura]

@Милашка girl you're definitely sleep deprived you don't know what you're talking about. Turn off your phone and have a good sleep. Goodnight.

[Милашка]

Sluts are gross. You know it. You only slutshame the male gender

[CubsterShura]

@Милашка you just be a fake account.

[CubsterShura]

Must*

[R_Cakes91]

The guy in the first pic looks like a sissy douche bag. Just because a woman has a short haircut doesn’t make her any less woman. This myTake is so lame.

Women are not for reproduction and sex. We live longer because we don’t do dumb shit.

by the way the Rock isn’t cool because he’s masculine, he’s cool because he’s a great actor, funny, and a genuinely nice person.

Men are cool in their own way, women are cool in their own way that isn't relates to sex and reproduction. My roommate drives the Mars rover and is a collaborator for the next mission to Mars. She’s a badass. Way cooler than any guy I know

I have a feeling that this opinion comes from someone who doesn’t respect the opposite sex very much or has some issues with women.

[Vviinnyy]

Thank u

[SSam23]

Well said and normally I would've said something similar to myself but for me at his point it was just too ridiculous to feed energy off to someone who's already made up their mind…which means they are more likely to be closed minded and stubborn.. which then leads to not being able to open the mind and be capable of learning differ things from a differ perspective and that leads you to be dumb in conclusion :)

[SSam23]

Not you as in you by the way, I meant you as in the asker

[MajesticTwelve]

I think the problem is that now if they want a girl to look "cool" they depict her with a bunch of male qualities, but shocker, we aren't men, and that comes off as disingenuous. I don't want to be a man. I think guys have a super hard life, and society treats them as disposable people and that's entirely unfair to them.
The coolest a girl can be these days is to actually be a girl. There's nothing wrong with it! Be a partner to your man, take care of him, support him through thick and thin, and he'll do the same for you. Then you'll be a cool couple!

TL;DR, Don't look to Hollywood to tell you what's cool.

[CheerfulGirl]

You are very wrong

[Chthou95]

Well said Majestic. You don't have to act like a man to be cool.

[ThisGuyDucks]

@CheerfulGirl No, she's right and we love her.

Get your jealous ass out of here.

[ret04]

Coolness is a lens through which men define what is admirable about other men. Femininity in a lot of ways, is the antithesis of coolness. Docile, nurturing, sweet, cute, weak, vain, submissive, catty, etc.

Of course, men appreciate women for their femininity, as it is something that runs complimentary to a man’s “coolness”. Women trying to be cool, is like women trying to be like men, and it’s mostly a fail. Because women are different, they aren’t naturally cool by the metric that men set, and that’s okay. Most men would much prefer a woman be super feminine, than to try to be cool anyway. Some guys think they would like both, but it rarely works out that way.

Fret not ladies, being feminine is better than being cool anyway. Don’t compare yourself to men, just revel the fact that you possess qualities that have far greater hypnotic power over most men than “coolness” would ever have.

[Bella9191]

I think the reason you don’t see enough cool women is because men like you don’t actually want to see it, you want to see women as reproductive and sex. There are many many pictures of cool women. But you picked the sex one. And there are many many pictures of uncool men. And yet you picked cool ones.
You want to believe this narrative, and perhaps a lot of men do too. Which is why that narrative is played out in mainstream media. But that doesn’t mean women can’t be cool, it’s because maybe it’s not as popular. Did you think of that perspective?

[hahahmm]

It’s not that guy’s are expendable. It’s that many men have a depth of courage that very few women do. The average guy has way more courage than the average woman but women are good at faking stuff. Psychologists say this causes them lots of stress. Stress which causes their bodies to produce more testosterone and make them look more mannish. Add on the huge amount of booze & processed foods that modern women consume and it’s not surprising that they don’t have the tiny waist that was normal without a corset as recently as the 1960s

[R_Cakes91]

What you are saying makes NO sense at all. Being courageous has NOTHING to do with gender.

[Swiss_Tengu]

"Coolness" is a form of charisma, which comes from looks (health, fitness, facialfeatures, hair, clothes), expression (posture, facial expression, language, mood), capability (strength, dexterity, intelligence, motivation, endurance, etc.) and ones willingness to take risks.
One factor that makes men so "cool" is their percieved "self confidence", another is their actual "competence". Both can be observed as factors when it comes to fights over "dominance".

Women can have the same traits and expressions as men, but they rarely do, for another multitude of biological and sociological reasons. We do associate these things more with men, so naturally the same goes for coolness, but that doesn't make them men exclusive. But it explains why the survivor and amazon archetypes of female characters like Riply are "cooler" than a barbie lookalike.

[lightbulb27]

interesting, you are onto something there... I did think some women were cool, but not in that word, like a teacher, wonder woman, and the above alien ass kicker. but it's more of a "hot cool":) dudes are cool. Maybe this is more about vantage point of male/female. Like do females see it the same as us studs do... ahemmm..

[Gedaria]

This is one thing I have a problem with. Equality for women im 100% behind them , they should be able to do anything the guys do. But this macho stuff seems to me demeans women. Like the lass from alien. She was in a position where she was the last and had to fight for survival , isn't that what women have been doing since EVE. Where I have problem is where women are sexualised go getters, like the JOLIE films tomb raider , I find that character non sensical , for starts the way she dressed as if to show off her sexuality. Also a female James BOND. How could that work. The fight scenes would be comical and the sex scenes , would she be lesbian or pick up guys. Just doesn't sit right …...

[Shamalien]

Depends what you define as cool, because there are different kinds of cool. If you're talking gun over the shoulder during the apocalypse style cool, then yeah, more men will fit that, but there are definitely very cool women out there. Girls who longboard, surf, snowboard, really riding any kind of board is considered cool in my opinion XD a girl who knows how to drive like a badass, that is pretty cool, lot's of really cool female musicians out there, etc.

To say as an absolute statement 'women can't be cool' is definitely incorrect.

[foriWish]

All I will say to this ignorance is 'acting' and 'looking' like a dude is just phrases that were created through the time of sexism and gender roles. So you're a traditionalist. How boring can one be! 😂

[SSam23]

Idc about your opinion it means nothing to me it's like a waste of time for you to try to get this out there and we aren't just those 2. I also don't care about the opinions of this who agree with you. You don't phase me ha! This is petty and quite silly frankly. I'm just going to even act as if I didn't see this garbage, in my mind it's been deleted!

[SSam23]

Those*

[Cruizer]

Haha. Like I don't agree with OP and I think it's a stupid post. However I can't believe you put the time into responding to it 😂. Especially with this garbage.

[SSam23]

@Cruizer yeah, watch me not respond after this💁‍♀️I can really care less I’ve said all that I had to haha

[Cruizer]

I can't believe how fired up you are. He must have really rustled your jimmies.

[Porcelaine]

What? Ask everyone what a cool person is and they will all give you a different answer to that. We all see coolness in our own way just like beauty. So I guess this is your opinion. I think women can be cool. What you described as ''cool'' is very hollywood and overused haha. So many guys try to adapt it, it's no longer cool.

[Anonymous]

I have a feeling you really dislike woman and their opinions. Just looking back at a lot of your questions, a lot of them are about teenage girls, and what the life of a teenage girl would be like. And oddly there's a few questions about supposed pedophiles in there too? I'm not sure but you seem to have some weird fascination or something..

[Shutupman]

I’d say a cool guy often times also is attractive/sexy they are linked. Someone that is unattractive won’t be considered cool either. Same goes for women though I agree most women don’t have the cool vibe women like the black widow (scarlet Johansson) is sexy but also cool.

[SteveSmith1985]

I know a whole bunch of girls who are cool as hell. The chick from aliens isn't all that cool she's just masculine.

I think your problem is your definition of cool is basically just the masculine stereotype of tough.

Some of your views are quite messed up. Not just this post, but in general.

[gumbydafish]

I love how in the comments she tries to dis everyone, saying that she could car less what we think, and yet SHE posted the question SO THAT she could know our opinions. On top of that she replies "yeah, watch me not respond after this. I can really care less I've said all that I had to haha." *Cough* Petty, actually cares a lot, easily angered, and such improper use of grammar it makes cringe. *Cough*