Girls should not change the way they look or dress just for guys!

[Anonymous]

It seems like a ton of guys these days are always telling a girl she has to work out more or wear makeup or just change their look just so they can date them. And I say fuck that. Some guys are looking like potatoes and we have to change ourselves for them? Girls usually never ever tell a guy they have to change to date them. Every guy I've asked out or even just talked to has told me that if I grow bigger boobs then I can date them or if I cut my hair get a bigger ass. Get a smaller ass. really anything. It seems I can just never be good enough for a guy. I've posted questions on here asking for approval before and It seems ill just never be good enough. there's nothing I can do. Im always told im average or below average sometimes if Im lucky then slightly above average and I say FUCK THAT. If you dont want me for who I am then you dont deserve me and girls you should never feel like you should change. I've gone from this (girl on right kinda obviously)

to this in just 3 months. Because I was trying to change myself for a guy. I just wanted to be prettier. And as much as I still changed myself. Im still ugly to some people for example someone in my other question from awhile ago said "Damn yea you are pretty ugly. I mean holy" and this was even after i had spent hours trying to change my look to make myself prettier and what not.

I've even gone through depression that I only got after I found this site. I was always curious about what others thought of my appearance so I asked a question on "how do I look" and found out im ugly to a lot of people. I've also gained an eating disorder after discovering this site. I mean hell I cried myseld to sleep every night for a few months. And I just give up with all this crap. I have an amazing personality once you get to know me so if your too quick to judge by my appearance then its really your loss.

And if a guy is going to like me then they should like me for my personality and that should overpower if im not that attractive to them. Besides If us girls were just never good enough for guys and never changed for them then they just wouldn't be able to get a girl and they would be alone and thats their problem. I know this isn't the case for all guys and some guys dont want or need a girl to change. And these are the good guys. The respectful ones. And until I personally meet one of those guys who wants me for ME then im going to remain single. Girls dont need guys to make them happy. Besides id much rather be single then guys nagging at me to change the way I dress ie dress more revealing or change myself for them. Thats really just too much pressure and Id rather be alone then have to deal with that. Now im done with my rant and just had to get that off my chest. (guys dont take this as offensive im not speaking for all guys mainly just my past boyfriends or guys I've known)

[talias288]

Listen, sweetie, most people would find me extremely vain. Stop thinking you're unattractive. That's your biggest problem. Most normal males, and even most girls would agree that, you're terribly *cute.* You remind me of the girl in Frozen. Gorgeous thick, healthy long hair. Adorable freckles. What's not to like?

The real problem is your self esteem (seriously, you actually believed you were ugly?). You probably put off a vibe that you'd do whatever it takes to please a guy, even change your looks, and some narcissist guys picked up on it, and took advantage of you. A lot of guys are horrible, and like to bring down or control attractive women to boost their ego, kind of like raping gives them power. Hopefully this post is a change to a new thinking. Just be sure it doesn't make you project yet another negative defensive vibe, which will turn off nice guys.

You probably need some new friends, a new crowd, or stop hanging in places you're usually at, where you find such douchbag jerks. Stop expecting nice guys to approach--cause it will rarely, if ever, happen. Casually strike up a conversation in the library with that quiet, brooding guy who caught your eye.

[Anonymous]

www.pmslweb.com/.../...t-flow-through-you-meme.jpg
Ahem,
1. Girls usually never ever tell a guy they have to change to date them.
2. I've even gone through depression that I only got after I found this site.
AND
I've also gained an eating disorder after discovering this site. I mean hell I cried myseld to sleep every night for a few months.
3. Besides If us girls were just never good enough for guys and never changed for them then they just wouldn't be able to get a girl and they would be alone and thats their problem.
What me thinks: recent breakup, grieving, feels not good enough for guy, insecure about looks.
What me suggests: See a shrink, eat some ice cream, take a nap, go love yourself.
Write another Take on amazing recovery and why gals definitely don't need guys.

[Notorisch_Arschloch]

You're a rare example of a girl who looks good either way you look above. The guys are probably faux players still on the begging shit from the early 2000s. Fuck em. I mean, no, don't fuck them... But, you know... Fuck em.

BUT. Most girls need to lose about 40 pounds, stop dying their hair rainbow colors, stop with the shitty cheap tats (my right sleeve was 7 grand, and it ain't done yet... Your $50 Japanese symbol on your wrist and $100 butterfly lezzing with a fairy on your title are retarded) and for FUCK's sake stop being loud, brash, saying "hurr, I'm a sarcastic bitch, you can't handle this" like it's a desirable trait.

Young lady, I'm afraid you're falling victim to what many young, plenty attractive and not fat women are falling victim to. MOST women are just broken, they hate you because the men they want want you, and the men who are average? Who should be able to get an average girl, which should be a DAMN sight better than what the average girl is? There's nothing but fatties and women with other men's kids for them. And they get called bitter... As if women being awful isn't a good reason to be.

You're fine. Just don't get fat, don't slut, and don't get knocked up before you're married. That's a far cry short of what should be minimum standard (I didn't say anything about being pleasant, intelligent, sexually adventurous or physically initiative) but that alone puts you head and shoulders above the trash out there.

No dye, mani-pedi, just don't be awful, and you're in the top 1%, because most women are broken.

[Spirit_Is_Free]

I like that take - A number of thoughts strike me, you say you are not talking about all men but I think someone should apologise for the idiots who made you want to write this take. You are right to be proud of your personality and expect guys to like you for who you are but I remember your question yesterday where I said I was surprised by the answers to your other questions as you seemed very pretty in the photos that you provided,
I am glad you have moved beyond looking for affirmation from other people. Really the only person you should want to impress is yourself whether with looks or personality. In the grand scheme of things if you are happy with yourself in looks or personality then great and excuse the french but F*** anybody who wants to do you down. It is quite clear who the ugly person in that scenario is and it is not you.
If you and ONLY YOU feel like a bit of a change then try it, it is your life and ONLY YOU should have control of it.
I firmly believe we all have self esteem issues just some are better at hiding it than others and there is room is everybody's life for a bit more self assurance not cockiness but a true self confidence.
I am pleased by most of your rationale throughout the take maybe just remind you not to take what other people think to heart so much. If you love yourself it doesn't matter what some others think, learn to listen to people who are constructive/positive influence on your life rather than negative.
One day I am sure you will meet a guy who will realise how beautiful you are on the outside as well as the inside. Good luck.

[fuqthegovt]

You look fine to me, even the first pick so "naturally ugly that needs covered up" isn't your problem. Giving too much of a crap about what others think of you is if anything. To me you look better than average, people just tend to be mean, especially in high school. It's silly to try to make everyone think you are hot, that just isn't going to happen with anyone, especially of it's a larger school with a graduating class of 500 or more. Best just to ignore them since you are not going to make everyone drool since different guys find different things attractive (long hair for me, a butt that isn't too big or small is nice but isn't the first thing I notice, same with boobs). It's not like you weigh 200 lbs with a face that looks like a bulldog (that practically everyone finds universally unattractive). While I'm not going to lie about thinking the bottom 2 pics make you look a goddess compared to the first (and most guys will probably agree) if it is too much effort (had an ex that took 1-2 hours to "put on her face", I think mirrors sparked her OCD) then don't do it.

[fuqthegovt]

And as far as personality overpowering unattractiveness sad to say doesn't happen much in the real world. Most guys (girls to) will toss you in the friend zone if they are not physically attracted to you even if you have the personality of Mother Theresa. I'm guilty of that myself on plenty of occasions and happens to me still, so goes both ways.

[Berethor]

Don't delude yourself, most guys like girls for their looks more then for their personality, and those who say that they not are very likely lying. There is a thing that you can change with no problem, so why are you making such big real out of it? I mean what the problem to change freaking clothes? but there are things that are hard to change and it's may not worth it. Anyway you are not ugly, you blonde with blue eyes and thin, I don't see why you have such a hard time to find a guy who like you the way you are.

tvtropes.org/.../MenAreStrongWomenArePretty

[mghowmasculinist]

I don't think its as simple as guys liking girls for their looks more than for their personality. I think in the early stages guys place more emphasis on looks due to some infatuation but in time they may start to look more at the underlying personality.

How many posts do you see from girls here where a guy starts losing interest after a while. I think that's when the infatuation stage wears thin and the guy starts looking more into the personality. I've also met really attractive women but started to look deeper into their personality after a while and then lost interest.

Looks is important initially but personality is very important once the honeymoon stages fade.

[Berethor]

Some guys are losing interest after quite short time no matter what, it's a sigh of a womanizer personality. For most guys, a girl's looks come first, a personality second, if they care about the girl's personality at all. If a guy don't like a girl's look/body, he would not even hit on her in the first place.

[Flatmanlewis]

Ok. Sit down and read this girl. Serious talk here. First, you are a babe. Period. Don’t let insecurities cloud that. Pretty skin. Gorgeous eyes. Nice lips and hair. Freckles - those are beyond sexy.

Second, there is a LOT of attractiveness in just owning who you are. What I mean is if you’re super athletic girl? Own it. Are you a geeky girl? Own it. Are you a book worm? Own it. Want to wear denim & t-shirts all the time? Wear nice ones and own it. Want to dress in heels and a fitted dress all the time? Do it. Light make up. No make up. False lashes and Russian red lipstick? Just own it. Be whomever you want to be to the fullest. That kind of ownership of who you are is confident and NOTHING is more attractive than confidence.

Next, DO NOT let the opinions of some immature guys even weigh in on your self image. I know that’s way easier said than done because hurtful words, well, they hurt. We all carry them because we’ve all been hurt.

[Flatmanlewis]

Somebody told me this and it literally changed the game for me. Rejection sucks. If a girl passes on you it’s easy to internalize that rejection and wonder why you weren’t “good enough” and fill yourself with negative self criticism. Pretend we’re on a reality show in which we’re the “bachelor/ette” They parade 100 guys/gals on set and you HAVE to weed out 50. We could both do that. I may cut girls 1-50 based on simple criteria but it’s what happens. Even if all 100 are very attractive I can simply think to myself “I don’t really like face piercings, or tattoos, or maybe I prefer short/tall girls; hourglass or pear shape; natural or lots of makeup; red heads or brunettes. Maybe a girl likes a man in a suit or in motorcycle leathers, or with facial hair. Either way we can screen out people for seemingly simple reasons without meaning anything is wrong with those people. The laws of attraction weigh in there. Simple as that.

Next show we weed out another 25 and maybe once you talk to them, or see how they behave, or just get a gut feeling you can weed out more. Episodes 3-9 you finally get to really spend time with those left and as you get to know people you get to recognize that you are less compatible than you thought. Finally, after weeding out 99 you find “the one”. Its a simple analogy but it helped me.

I realized that if I met somebody who didn’t find me attractive to them the key point was “... TO THEM...”. It wasn’t ME it was THEM. I had met 1 of the 99, and was that much closer to the 1 I was to meet. Getting that I was simply not the type they liked made me embrace the image I felt was my own. By being as much of myself as I could be made me stand out that much more for the one I was meant to meet. It paid off and I eventually met my dream girl whom I married.

You have beauty, now just develop the respect for yourself to not try and be what others want. Be what YOU want and then wait for the kind of quality man who sees that in you and loves it.

[Kko123]

Hun... I don't know who called you ugly, but I personally think you are gorgeous!! Anyone who tells you that you aren't pretty enough (which is complete bullshit by the way) isn't worth the effort. I'm glad you came to that realization. And you WILL meet that wonderful man who accepts you exactly the way you are, and who loves you because are all around beautiful (internally and externally)! Just continue to hold tight and stand your ground.

I have noticed that there are a lot of arrogant jerks on GAG, so I wouldn't take anything anyone said negatively about your appearance to personally. Some people just need to put others down to make themselves feel good. Those people are shitheads, and that's it.

I'll say it one more time so it sticks. You are ABSOLUTELY STUNNING!!! Keep your head up and don't change a thing!!

[oldanddecrepid]

You have the right attitude... people who judge you tend to have flaws themselves, so don't ever listen to someone suggesting that your ugly, because another guy will find you attractive.

I can tell you one thing, if I was your age, I would have found you quite attractive... the freckles are awesome, and you have nice facial features. I would put you in the above average category.

in regards to past boyfriends and guys you have known... chalk it up to them setting their standards way to high, and most likely they aren't worthy of you in the first place.

I would not take it to heart that you have found the right guy that thinks you are awesome all over, you just have not met him yet!

[ovixs90]

Thats sad your a good looking don't worry I like the way you look. I think either you are in a bad company of guys or somethings is not right with who you communicate. Maybe guys in America are this way I don't think many guys in Europe would tell you to make plastic surgery for boobs. It sad to see that for some idiot guys you think this way that all guys are bad. i think change your friends by the way you should care less about people opinion on your looks online they can even say on the most beautiful people pictures they are ugly.

[Stallion76]

There is also a lot of women who try to tell men how to change to attract them. I think it starts with you, and if you can't be happy with yourself, then people are always going to try to tell you how to better yourself.
Women all the time tell me how to dress, to attract them, but who says I want to attract them. I have yet to meet a woman who is going to be what or who I want her to be, so I can only extend to her the same courtesy, by being nobody but who I want to be.

[BarbaraP]

Nice take. First of all I think you should not let a bunch of people over the internet influence the opinion you have of yourself. I'm sorry about what you've been through but honestly you're all but ugly. Actually I'd say you're gorgeous, so I don't know what everyone was thinking.

[KibblesBits]

Some people have different personalities, you're allowed to be you. Me personally I want a girl who thinks like me. I want to do whatever I can to make myself look a way that turns my girlfriend on and would love to be with a girl who feels the same way. Doing this would make me happy and I hope to find someone who feels the same way.

But that doesn't mean you can't be you, everybody's different, go find your match, not my match.

[Baconburger]

You should feel comfortable with who you are, and if they tell you to change then they aren't the one.

At the same time, remember that this goes both ways so you shouldn't be expecting guys to dress like Express models or have a body of a professional athlete as well.

[mike5150]

Don't change or do anything you don't want for someone else. The sad part is when you change for the wrong reason you can become depressed. The way you feel often projects, so this guy you changed for may suddenly think something is up if you seem miserable. It's a real damned if you do damned if you don't.

[BoopPeenParty]

Seems like? Fuck that you're under 18, you don't know anything. Any social interaction you've had is just you growing as a person and they don't mean anything. When you're 20 and you go "this guy was an asshole to me when we were 17", that holds no relevance to anything.

[AD240pCharlie]

My standards are already way too high anyway. I promised myself when I was 14 that I would never settle for a girl less than Cat Valentine, and the problem with that is that all real girls are less than Cat Valentine. So I'm happy being on my own. I'd rather be a lone wolf (since I like that anyway) than lower my standards just for the sake of finding a partner.

[PatriceONeal]

I have to call bullshit. Women don't listen to mens preferences nor do they care to find out what they are... nor do they have to. How many men want women to wear wigs and hair weave? How about those ugly 2 inch long talons on the ends of your fingers? When men say stop dressing slutty, women always listen to men right? 🙃

[Paul09]

You look perfect natural, and beautiful in first picture. Real men love natural, healthy women. Little boys don't know shit, yet, or ever. So do not change your appearance for these dumb boys. Be yourself, look yourself. I hope you find a man, not a immature boy.

[DarkHumorRUs]

Why not?
Did you know that for a lot of us guys, the way we look and the way we act is simply to try to get some girl to like us, because we want to know what love is?

What's wrong with girls doing the same thing?

[John6517]

I agree that girls should not need to change their looks for a guy, but the do all the time. There was a time that most girls put their hair up at night and have curls. Now so many wear it straight and long.

[hxcp1]

you're a plain jane but lucky for you, you're skinny and have the magic axe wound in between your legs. Your life is going to be 10000x better with 10000x more suitors than your subhuman male equivalent