This was too long for a question, so I made this a mytake.
Here's a small list of what I've learned...
1. Men and women are different, and our differences are not a matter of inferiority or superiority, but rather serve as a great complement to one another.
2. Women need emotional affection. I as a man have made the mistake of responding to emotional situations with logic when she needed an emotional response at the time. Holding her without trying to grab her ass goes a long way. Helping her around the house goes a long way. Emotional affection in the form of physical gestures and emotionally rich conversations is something that is required to make a woman happy in the long term.
3. Women do not think like men. Men think that if a woman rejects sex in marriage, it's because she doesn't find him physically appealing. They start to mope and complain. Sex becomes more of an accommodation rather than a desire from her end if things become bad enough. If you want to get a woman horny, then stop thinking like a man. You need to make her feel like she's the most important woman in the world. You need to show her how loved and adored she is. You need to hold her hand, listen to her stories, and actually connect with her. You need to take her on dates. If she's not putting out, there's most likely a need that's not receiving emotionally. If she rejects you, then don't be weak by becoming insecure. Take charge like a man and find out where she's wounded emotionally. She has different needs than you.
4. Women are attracted to men that can hold their own. If she's being a brat or not acting right, the most attractive thing you can do is to stand your ground in a respectful and loving way. The moment you let her rattle you and you lose your temper is the moment that she realizes that you don't have control over yourself. How can you lead if every difficult situation you're faced with takes control of you rather than you taking control of it? The ideal end solution is when she feels almost a sense of embarrassment takes it upon herself to fix how she's coming across. You don't need to shame her or demand. Just be firm, respectful, and loving.
5. Quality women really commit to men who are selfless. There's a fine line between a push-over and a truly selfless person. As a Christian man, I try to emulate the character of Jesus Christ in every difficult situation I face. If you're not of faith, then that's entirely fine. This is just something that I live my life by. This includes selflessness and unconditional love. I always put her ahead of myself, and she does the same. It creates a beautiful dynamic.
6. Remain loyal even when she messes up. I love my girl even when she makes mistakes. I try my best to refrain from judgement. I don't point fingers. I just try and help. My sole focus is helping her to become the best person that she can be. Mistakes serve as great learning tools and create an opportunity for a man to really shine and be the hero. Resentment never accomplishes anything positive. The time a girl needs you the most is when she made a mistake. Show her that you love her for her and exclude the mistake from who she is as a person. Her mistakes should never define her.
7. What I've noticed is that when someone isn't meeting your needs, and you go above and beyond to meet theirs, then they'll most likely respond by fulfilling your needs to an even higher degree. We all have in a sense gas tanks in a relationship. The more that you fill their tank up, the more they can give you.
8. Quality women will stay loyal to men who consistently show that they can lead while looking out for their best interest. You don't just earn a woman's loyalty by barking orders and thinking you're the alpha. A good leader will always use their team to their best advantages. There are plenty of things that my girl does better than me. My ego is never really threatened if she takes lead on a particular task that she's better at. The key is to be the coordinator and take lead on who does what. The man needs to be able to guide the relationship in a direction in which both of your needs are met. It will get to a point where she will willingly submit to you. It's not a discussion. It just tends to happen.
9. If you do not meet a woman's needs here, she could very well cheat on you or start fantasizing about other men. Don't operate from a stand point of fear, but understand that the reality is that over half of spouses in America cheat at some point or another. A lot of women fantasize about other men when they don't feel loved. The best way to combat against the desires that modern culture perpetuates onto us so hard is to do your very best to fulfill her needs. She of course needs to reciprocate. I could make an entire list of what a man needs in a relationship too. A consistent effort to fulfilling your partners needs will almost always keep them loyal to you. Don't put your spouse in a position where she may be tempted to commit sin.
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I could go on and on but I'd particularly like to hear from the older and wiser people on the website. I'd be interested to hear what experiences you've faced and how they've shaped your views on this topic.
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