And my body dysmorphia kicks in again...

[Alyssa_11]

In this day and age it seems very common practice for people to have surgery and procedures done to their face and body. As well as Facetune and edit their photos on social media to look a certain way. And suddenly everyone on the internet is drop dead gorgeous.

And then it’s easy for a young girl like me to look in the mirror on a bad day and think I’m so ugly. My nose is big. Why do I have a spot here. I have too much fat around my hips. And so on.

Suddenly these thoughts become worse as I’m exposed to more perfectly edited photos and videos on social media. But I can’t help it they’re everywhere.

Even when I know it’s edited, it still affects me. It doesn’t help either when I’m single and there’s no man in my life who loves every inch of me (physically I guess).

Having said that, I’m not one for procedures and I don’t see myself getting anything done to my appearance. I have a lot of pride in being natural.

It’s an odd one, really. And it’s something I’ve been struggling with more recently as the weather gets nicer and we’re wearing less clothes and leaving the house more.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Tell me about it, online dating or websites did this to me... like UGH. Everyone else looks absolutely amazing, its ridiculous. Where did all these super models who can't find a date come from?

FYI, my Profile pic has been edited with facetune2 but only slightly, as I did dress up that night for a date and did make-up and my hair. One could say I did a real world tune up.

I don't want it to be so different that when I meet in person, they don't recognize me, has to be pretty close. I actually wear glasses but I don't use them in my pictures, cause I think I look better without them. Well at least to see far away, don't need them for up close.

[Alyssa_11]

But since everyone’s photos are edited and unedited photo looks weird now! That’s the issue

[Aerissa_Jade]

Yes, exactly that is what I saw. People can edit soo much that they don't even look like the same person.

Either way don't worry about it, I started not caring myself. Even the day I posted a totally unedited "How do I look" pic, everyone said I look great. A lot of people are tired of this crap and like it when people go back to unedited.

[Alyssa_11]

Thanks!

[Daniela1982]

Celebs as they are when they wake up in the morning. Being Fake is the new next big thing.

Britney Spears

Katy Perry

Natalie Portman

Taylor Swift

Lady Gaga

[Alyssa_11]

Damn thanks for that. They look human!

[turnpost]

To be honest the girls look better natural.

[turnpost]

They could smile a little more lol

[skytatoe]

That's really common. You could just jump on the bandwagon and post edited images of yourself, or actually take them, then when you see others, you look at your own and think 'heh I'm hot asf too'. And join the delusional club LOL

Nobody is gonna like 100% of you physically or personality wise. I don't think that's possible, I mean most people can't do that for themselves, how could they do it for you? That's some disney movie idealised version of love. What you want is as close as you can get to that, but anyone who is saying 100%, either doesn't know something about you, or is lying.

In the society I live in people tend to value looks really highly. It's unfortunate and kinda shallow but it is what it is. So whenever I've commented about something in my appearance I wanna change or dislike (could be clothes, could be style, or anything...) people tend to try to say comforting things. Which is nice, but they miss the point, I only say that shit out loud because its so trivial. Really does not affect me, looks is only 5% of what I have to offer, I'm so much more than my shell even if I do look good.
I really believe that's the case for everyone. Looks are gonna fade anyways. What you have to offer is your personality and soul. And that's what will make you a hundred times prettier and more attractive than your soulless insta pics lol.
So basically, you just need to look acceptably ok and have your inner beauty radiate out for anyone to really like you. And if you are very ugly (by our social standards), then it's harder, but even then whats inside can overpower that.

People do judge appearance at first sight. So if your first sight is unsightly, sometimes in extreme cases surgery is an option to be considered, will make life significantly easier. Otherwise, why bother. I worked as a summer job in a medical insurance company you wouldn't believe the amount of insurance claims for infections after these procedures. You don't want that trust me. Stay you, stay pretty inside more than out.

[theothersider]

well, at least you are a head of the game in knowing that it is all smoke and mirrors. Most boy and girls don't figure that out until way to late in the game. I mean there have been quite a few studies done now tht have shown that social media gives young people depression and anxiety due exactly to the reasons listed. As women tho we are conditioned to place a lot of emphasis and value on how we look and how we think we are precived to look.

A lot of people think I exude self confidence and while it is no untrue I to had to trooper threw my teens and 20s all which did not leave me with out my insecurities. Like my profile picture is 100% my face no filters at all... BUT it is one of 4 that I took and it is the best of those 4. I am not saying I look bad but I did choose the one with the best lighting and showed as few of my flaws as possible. I also spend a lot of money on facials and professional skin treatments and spa days. I am also not gonna lie when things start sagging and drooping i am probably going to start nipping and tucking things. It is one of the darker sides of being female chasing the imaginary goddess in the mirror.

[Alyssa_11]

Very well said!

[TheMajesticKing777]

I see guys ten times more attractive then me and I'm single as well but I don't care because eventually I will die and none of this will matter anymore, if someone is into me just and only cause they like how I look, then I wouldn't want to waste my time with such a person anyways, I feel like self esteem is much better than being insecure, you can live a happy life even if you are ugly and single, it's why I more focused on what's really important in this twisted world, money, money is number one, it shouldn't be this way but it is, even schools care more about money than education, there's places of worship that use the words of God simply to make money, since I'm not too stressed about being single ill focus on making money and I'll make good choices with it, if God has love planned for me then there's no option here but I feel like I have a purpose and I think it involves money more than love, I just let God guide me and so far he has changed my life for the better, if it was by my own decisions, I would still be hooked to drugs and who knows where else I'd be, you are thinking too much about what you don't have and aren't thinking of what you have, if God has someone for you then he does, stressing about how you look is the least of your problems, there's really no point, mostly after giving yourself a perspective based on social media, it's very unaccurate and misleading, how you look will be a 10/10 to someone, perfection doesn't exist

[Alyssa_11]

You’re very right. Thanks.

[True_Sage]

Well if you don't have looks and can't build muscle get money. Otherwise women don't care and will look down on you. 80% women chase 20% of men. Women their own worst enemy, and man's worst enemy too.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Actually I feel like women have started chasing me more when they figured out that I'm saving my virginity for the right girl, I found it kinds weird cause girls weren't really interested in me before so I don't know why, maybe it's the confidence or something, so confidence plays a big part I believe, cause I'm not all that but I still manage to attract girls, money will just bring people seeking for your money, when I'm successful no one is gonna know it tbh

[True_Sage]

Oh that's another way. You must be living in a more religious area. I'm in a big city and it's a totally different game. Women look down on virgins here more or less. But if you're in a more religious conservative area that's maybe a good call I guess. Just not my world

[True_Sage]

And yeah confidence plays a big role good point. Confidence is a signal of success or potential success fulness

[TheMajesticKing777]

I live in one of the worst cities to be a virgin, I live in miami 😂

[True_Sage]

Ahaha. Ah man. Well respect you're sticking to your values man. That's not easy. Respect.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Thanks bro, it's not but at some point I know it's gonna be worth it 💯

[True_Sage]

Yea it probably will be. I probably got too greedy traded off a couple quiet nice girls for ones more fun and exciting just a little hotter but in the end it was maybe a bad call as they didn't have much values and a little too selfish. But get older and learn I guess.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Yep from the third perspective that's definitely a mistake, those girls gave you a chance and you traded them for something "better" I feel like it's all just catching up with you know, after all karma is a bitch, had experience with it myself

[True_Sage]

Yea. At least i told them afterwards they should been treated better and i made the wromg choice So all I can do is apologize and move on lol.

[TheMajesticKing777]

The importance is that you right your wrongs and you did

[True_Sage]

Thanks man. I'll do better next time. I just never had any good examples growing up. Hard lessons:)

[TheMajesticKing777]

It be like that sometimes

[Anonymous]

do you have any idea how many of those women who you think are perfect looking actually aren't. christ i could make a huge list of physical flaws alone that a lot of women have that get altered. do you really think those women wake up out of bed looking like that? or do you think they'll show what they actually look like when they're on the toilet seat shitting and wiping their ass or taking a piss or head bent over the toilet bowl puking their brains out and vomit coming out of their mouths or when they have huge hunks of snot coming out of their nostrils? or what they look like without makeup how many puss filled zits they have on their cheeks chin nose forehead and every other part of their face. and lets not get started on their hair and body. first fake eyelashes hair extensions botox on their lips lip injections contact colors lenses fake fingernail extensions garter belts in some cases to give a curvier figure tons of makeup on their puss filled zit face like bozo the clown padded push up bras or no bras just titty implants with surgical scars under their boobies some cases liposuction on their stomachs and guts ass implants tight shirts tight pants/jeans/yoga pants and don't even get me started on the victorias secret models christ with their yellow teeth bad breath smelling like a damn ash tray skinny as hell ribs sticking out nasty bitchy attitude yuck

[MrOracle]

Get the hell off of social media - it's toxic, and you know that it's affecting you negatively. You are NOT obligated to use it just because your friends do, and you are certainly not obligated to follow all the "influencers" who have a team of people making sure that they look perfect via any means necessary. It is TOXIC!

Instead, go outside and see the real people in the world. They won't be perfect either. That's normal and it's fine. It will help remind you how fake social media really is.

Don't participate in your own destruction, just because it's common among your peers. Be smarter than that!

[Alyssa_11]

You know it’s funny that you never see these perfect looking people in real life - like both men and women! They don’t exist!

[MrOracle]

I mean, they KIND of do, IF you know where to look.

I did video production as a job for a couple of years, working on a wide range of projects, from corporate instructional videos, commercials, music videos, etc. One strange thing was that you'd have these women show up - average, unremarkable-looking women in most cases - who then spent 2+ hours in hair and makeup, and a completely different-looking woman would emerge from the makeup room looking stunning. But it was all because they had 2-3 professionals working on them for several hours, with makeup, hair pieces, bra inserts and tape, "shaping" garments, etc. Often, it was hard to believe that these were even the same women.

Don't get me wrong, this occurred with male models and actors too, but to a much lesser extent. Usually, it was just different clothes and 5 minutes on their hair, and there wasn't a massive transformation.

The point is: QUIT BELIEVING THE MEDIA. It's all "produced" and it's nearly all a lie - and it's often lies stacked on top of lies. Of course, if you are making a fictional movie or TV show, no one cares if it's not true - we all understand that Star Wars is fiction, and so was Pulp Fiction. But these same techniques are applied to all other media, including a lot of stuff that is marketed as "the truth", when it's far, FAR from that.

Look at "reality TV" - which is a lie right in the title. Just because something is technically unscripted doesn't mean it's anything remotely like reality. "Reality" TV shows have dozens of "producers" who stage conflicts, pour poisonous gossip in the ears of the "contestants", and of course, they all get hair, makeup, and wardrobe. There's nothing real about it at all - yet it's billed as if it was.

[MrOracle]

EVERY photo you see in a magazine, in a tabloid news article, or posted on Twitter or IG, is going to be selected as the best pic out of dozens, and then retouched - and these "candid" pics were often staged in the first place. Celebs will have their publicists "leak" their schedules, so that there will be people there to take their picture when they are all made up and wearing their sponsored brands, so that people believe that "they're just like you and me, and she's wearing [Brand] so I need to buy some of that same brand so I can be like her!" It's non-stop manipulation, and if you struggle to see through the lie, then you need to get away from the media entirely.

You also need to know that it's going to get much worse. AI and "deep fake" technology is getting better and cheaper, and I'm shocked that we're not ALREADY seeing faked celebrity and political footage that never even happened, but was created from scratch in the computer. That is coming soon, bank on it. And many people will believe it completely. Be smarter than that. The media ALREADY heavily edits things and takes quotes completely out of context or even re-edits speech to create entirely new narratives - this happens all the time and is 100% provable - but AI is going to change the game, and it's going to be everywhere. Lies stacked on lies stacked on lies. Don't believe it.

[Alyssa_11]

That’s very true...

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

1) fuck social media and the fake narcissists who use it for clout

2) from your profile pic I'm pretty sure you're prettier than any of those fake ass hoes on Instasham lol

Don't get it twisted; what gets likes on social media and what men find attractive aren't really the same thing. The fake shit women do on social media is to posture themselves over OTHER WOMEN. It's a game of comparison and one-upping. But men don't care about that shit. A gorgeous girl is a gorgeous girl to us, the goalposts never really move.

[Alyssa_11]

That’s very true actually

[TonyMetal___86]

When i finished reading you're take i laughed because you have the right answer in you're take princess rapunzel, if someone is going to really love you than it's because you're natural looking, a real beautiful princess unlike fake models or social media plastic girls 😂

Have confidence in yourself miss alyssa rapunzel because you're not only beautiful from the outside but more beautiful from the inside too 😊

A real man who will truly loves you will adore every inch in you're body and having you makes him forget that there are other girls in the world because he needs the piece that completes him while others will never fit 😌

Smile and be happy because you know that you're special and will always be and that's why you're name is princess rapunzel 🙂

[Alyssa_11]

Thanks!

[TonyMetal___86]

You're welcome

[MCheetah]

So you have BDD too? I also wrote a MyTake about it. I believe at least you claimed to be tall and attractive and that you could get a partner if you wanted (assuming you want her). The thing is, women choose all these filters and all, to try to one-up each other. Guys usually try to look good, to get women. So believe or not, it's women who are more so the "problem" here, in painting these false ideals of attractiveness. I sure as hell didn't despite how short I am mainly from men saying I'm too short (although many of them did). It was women who really hammered that flaw home to me.

[jennifer_bloom]

If you get the guy to date you for your personality, you won’t have to look like a gorgeous fashion model or be more attractive than all other woman to get an attractive guy’s loyalty. I’m not saying you have a bad personality but I’m saying to let him get to know who you are on the inside before you commit to him, I know girls who don’t look good at all that married very kind and wealthy men, and you look better then them so you can marry a guy that is rich or good looking or both good looking and rich.

[Finchie40]

Well if you are the girl on the pictures you really don’t have anything to worry about honestly you look gorgeous,, But reality is image really means shit when it comes down to wanting
To fall in love or meet someone , yes attraction has a part in it but it’s mainly the person’s heart that matters most , just because we think someone looks beautiful from our own eyes it doesn’t mean others will feel the same , what makes a girl beautiful to me is her personality , , I see a lot of beautiful girls that look great on the outside but if they aren’t beautiful in the inside then I have no interest in them , When it comes to looks and how we feel about ourselves we are our own worst enemy , if I see myself in the mirror I go ewww and think damn I am ugly , when someone finds me attractive I think they must be blind or they just like my personality

[skytatoe]

4 different girl lol

[lrina]

i think it might be best to seek therapy and/or take a break from the internet. try to focus more on your other passions on life, and just do your best to stay away from electronics (or at least social media). i'm not sure how effective this will be, but best of luck to you.

[NoUsernameSelected]

> And suddenly everyone on the internet is drop dead gorgeous.

... Touch grass.

Sorry. No I meant... I believe if you compare yourself with the pictures you showed and you really think this is your competition, you must look quite good. And if you go outside and talk to real people you will not find these 10s you are complaining about here.

Stop using apps. You will be happier not competing for the 2-3 guys you find good looking that 50 other girls are swarming around with their fake pictures. Don't do that to yourself.

[Gollum]

Well don't get any kind of surgery. It falls apart as you age. Nose job is probably the only thing that is pretty much without consequences, but if you look at women who are aging and have had surgery they look absolutely horrible. Other than that stay off the poison known as social media. Nothing is real there, you may just as well compare yourself to the best looking actress, who under perfect lighting gets to act out her scenes. Besides don't assume for one minute that Hollywood films don't receive beauty postproduction as well. Those people don't appear in credits, but this work is being done.

In my experience especially young people worry about their looks and bodies a lot. If it means that much to you join a fitness program or something that helps with looks but also with the way you feel about yourself as a person.

[JSmuve]

Despite all the imperfections you think you might have, remember, there will still be plenty of guys who will swipe right on your tinder page and shower you with compliments. It's more difficult when no one compliments you and no one thinks your attractive enough to match with. 🤗

[True_Sage]

Well men usually have things worse. Women just complain the loudest and MSM sucks it up bc they want all men to be weak subservient complimentary sensitive beta trash that don't take what they want.

[JSmuve]

@True_Sage Yes, it's the whole "women need to be saved from the big bad world and men are strong and can survive on their own" mentality.

[True_Sage]

Yes that's a good short way to put it. Well said

[Anonymous]

Ironic that surgery and procedures actually limit them to less men and all the likes are usually from other girls. These cake faces will realize age will hit them worse than average women and no amount of makeup or work will save their dating or work career

[Alyssa_11]

I guess that’s true - kylie Jenner and I are the same age and she already looks like she’s ageing! 😨

But this goes to show how we want to look good for ourselves. I know the beauty standard that men see is different yet it still affects me.

[one1wild00]

Live and live natural you. the"flaws" you see may be just the thing that seals the relationship deal with the right guy. Pay no mind to the "perfectly edited" photos. Personally I hate any type of editing really on the original pic the dog, cat, etc ears and nose filter pics especially. if the pic has a star effect that is also very annoying. botom line, be yourself, and be natural.

[AlanJ17M4F]

@Alyssa_11 if that's your pic sitting on the bed, then I don't know what the issue would be going outside or whatever. Something has beaten your self esteem down, maybe even your idea of self worth as well. NEWS FLASH lol you are smokin hot.. And there's obviously nothing in saying that for me, so why would I lie to you lol.. get your beautiful self out and show off

[Explorer91]

everyone wants to be “cool”. To go the trashy nightclubs when young, to be on social media, to do this and that. And I get that. But if you can’t handle it. Then you can’t handle it. You may need to lead a different kind of life. One where this kind of shit isn’t in your face as much.

[Ad_Quid_Orator]

I get what you're saying. in my opinion, body dysmorphia is like depression and to escape it, a major step is realizing that your mind is making things seem more hopeless than they actually are. Similarly with body dysmorphia you have to see that it's your mind playing tricks on you. And (not that it should matter) if that's you in your profile pic, your fears are unfounded.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Maybe it's me, but I think women are their own worst enemies sometimes. Guys don't pick up on every little blemish, only other women do.. we don't CARE, so if you're worrying about it for us... you really don't need to.