Help! my 11y. o. cousin acts like Lolita with boys, what shall I do?

[Anonymous]

ok. my 11 y. o. cousin looks older then her age (+-13). also she likes guys and flirts with them. for me at 11 year is too early. she wants to dress like 15 yo and makes make up.
by accident i saw that she wrote to 13 y. o. guy: "i love you" on fb.
i was shocked, it's my first summer with her and dont know how to act, what to say.
it's summer... some guys hit on me (27) she even can make eyes to them :/
i'm worried, what shoud i do? how to explain it's wrong and why!
it looks so embarrassing sometiems, you have no idea! also im afraid that some bad guys can use her, she's so silly rn...

[Dionysos]

Pole dancers gotta come from somewhere...

Just joking. She's obviously developing early and won't likely respond well to you telling her she'sacting like a ho. Be careful how you phrase any advice you have for her. Advice on how to minimize risks and stories about your own painful experience might be good. Use humor too and laugh at how stupid you acted back then, whether you did or not.

Keep in mind that she's under the influence of hormones, not being a bad kid or a slut. She's growing up early.

[Asker]

your jokes-I hated them. but thanks. dont make this kind of jokes about kid, ok.

[Dionysos]

Only the first part was a joke. The rest was advice. if you care about the kid, be careful what you do to change her behavior because you could make it worse.

[Asker]

yes i get that, i will make her see its embarrassing at her age. i won't shame her.

[Anonymous]

Your cousin sounds like a normal healthy 11 year old girl. She is just starting to learn how to interact with boys. Crushes on older people are very common at that age. You likely were the same way, and just don't remember it, or were taught to be so ashamed of your feelings that you repressed it. I think it is more surprising that you are shocked by this perfectly natural behavior.

[Asker]

11? its too early, omg.
i was tom boy until 22 , my libido was asleep that long.

[Opinion Owner]

That isn't normal. You don't want to know what is typical to find under the mattress of a twelve year old boy, and girls start to mature even faster than boys.

[Asker]

are you telling me im not normal? pfff, thanks.

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry but having you libido asleep until 22 is not normal.

[Asker]

well. i mean i did mastubate at 12 and all that, but by libido i mean direct sexual desire for ecxact guy and his body, i honestly didn't feel it until i met a guy who had gorgueos body, it was 5 yeras ago only then i started to feel desire to have sex with thim.
ok, but what shall i do with my cousin, what talk to give her?

[Opinion Owner]

I am not saying she wants to have sex with anyone yet, but she is able to develop crushes, and find boys attractive. I would imagine her parents would be the ones having this talk with her.

[Asker]

i agree, but im with her now , her parents left her with us for 3 weeks. i need to do something now.

[eirjolras]

This really isn't that uncommon. Whilst it's a little unnerving for you, obviously, this is around the time that she's beginning to realise what exactly boys are rather than just friends or gross, alien creatures. It's pretty normal to have crushes on adults at her age and even if you didn't, that doesn't necessarily mean that she's weird or anything. If you're really concerned about it, then talk to her and explain that maybe she should change her behavior, but I wouldn't worry all that much.

[Asker]

she has a friend who is 11 too and she dates 14 y. o. guy is this normal too? i don't think so.
i don't want my cousin to be like her friend.

[eirjolras]

It's a 3 year age difference, it's pretty normal. Would you think that it was unusual for a 20 year old and a 23 year old to date? And there's nothing wrong with her friend either, so you really shouldn't say things like that and judge children.

Honestly, you're being a little too controlling about this, everyone else is telling you that too.

[Asker]

we talk about kids, not about adults.
yes i can and must judge children because they're Children. are you for real? how old are you?

[eirjolras]

I'm perfectly capable of understanding that these are children and not adults but there's not really much difference. They're not doing anything illegal, they probably aren't really doing anything at all, and your cousin isn't having a negative influence from a little girl with a crush on a slightly older boy.

It really doesn't matter how old I am but I'm 17. In England - which is where I live, by the way -, I'm considered a consenting adult. Whilst your cousin isn't, I also have memory of myself and other 11 year old girls and I can tell you in the same way that most everyone who answered this question has told you, her behavior is normal and there's nothing for you to worry about.

[COCOCHANEL]

this reminds me of the time when i was 9 and my brother, his gf, her little brother (who was 10) and i were at my brother's house and the boy kept chasing me around and asking, ”do you like boys?”
he was really cute and i had a crush on him so i just kept running away

[Asker]

that's cute) but she wouldn't do that. she would sit, legs crossed, super shirt skirt and blowing kisses , bedrooms eyes and stuff. i ask because i really see her acting as 15 y. o. But on 11 y. o. it looks creepy as hell.

[COCOCHANEL]

ah hmm well some girls blossom earlier

[cumfort]

11 is normal, I started liking boys sexually at about 9, I was just too shy to say anything at all. It's great that she's got confidence. Don't say anything, it will make her feel ashamed of herself and make her not want to be with you again.

[mystogan]

Youd better talk to her parents, its not considered normal (even though it seems people have to get a bf/gf at 11 atm)

[Asker]

this! i dont think its normal it looks awful.

[mystogan]

the world keeps getting weirder really

[Asker]

i agree. she flirted with 33 y. o. men today! i was in shock, we were in the pool and she was like: "why won't he come over, i want him to swim next to me" (husband of my friend)
wtf...

[rUinSAYAN]

now I see where I got this from. I instantly started checking lolita girl pics for half an hour. they look so cute!!! but only some of them

[Asker]

where you got what from, sorry?

[rUinSAYAN]

no all cool. your sister is a bit silly, you shall warn her.

[PrettyBama]

I was the same way. 11 to 13 isn't a huge jump though. I think it's okay.

[Anonymous]

Lol Thank You for making me remember the name of that movie , Tell your cousin to slow her roll.

[Anonymous]

i dont understand what the hell you are saying but I would flirt when I was 8

[Anonymous]

Then you have to lead by example, show her how to be classy and not trashy

[Anonymous]

My cousin was into boys at 8. And the kid was only two years older.

[Prof_Don]

It's normal for her to be into guys at age 11