Why did she recently hide her friends list on facebook?

[DarkxAngel20]

I just wanna why this girl who I've known for three months now would suddenly hide her friends list and only show her mutual friends on facebook? I don't wanna over think or anything, but why? Did I do something wrong? Did her interest level for me suddenly drop? Girls, I need your opinion on this.

Updates

+1 y

I was sure she had a lot of fun with me and there were signs she was interested in me.

Updates

+1 y

So, I'm guessing it doesn't have anything to do with me then?

[R_C_D]

So I'm currently going through something very similar. And as I share some of these details I think the amount of red flags will be overwhelmingly obvious.. and I've willfully ignored unpleasant things.

First of all, communication is 100% vital to maintaining a healthy & thriving relationship. Approach in a proper way, know your partner, know how to approach. Make it a point not to offend or let your concerns be misconstrued as accusations.

Having said that, my girlfriend immediately shuts down any & all talk regarding social media. I've noticed things in the past, things I've never received answers or explanations to, just this implication that I'm "obsessed with social media" or insecure. Things I've never been told by any girlfriend I've had in the past. Over the 4+ years I've been with this woman, I've become very familiar with the term gaslighting.

Her friends list is private. Her brother, who is a good friend of mine, came to stay with us for a while, & I noticed as he was showing me something, that her Facebook page showed content from his phone that did not appear when I viewed her page from my account. I approached her, she dismissed it as something she didn't know anything about/couldn't explain.. & on the surface, the posts that I couldn't see from my account didn't seem like anything that mattered. However, shortly after this she made her friends list private.. naturally I inquired & she gave some not-so-quick-whitted response about it being for security-related reasons pertaining to her job.

She'd had the job for nearly 12 years & never had the need to hide her fairly average-sized friends list before.. Also, I noticed the reason certain things were viewable to her brother & not me because she had a ton of custom settings on albums, etc.

Now many of you will say I crossed a boundary next, & perhaps I did. But remember, I tried in vain to communicate with her about this, even asking her to just level with me & to at least acknowledge that she too would find these things odd if the roles were reversed. All of this got me nowhere.

So one day I signed into her iPad, her password had been given to me, I just never used them. I opened her Facebook account, checked her settings, noticed I was specifically added to "allow to only see posts shared with Public" .. so she made the effort to have the option to hide certain things things me. I also notice some of her recent searches were for her ex-boyfriend.. someone who her affiliation with had crossed lines & nearly ended our relationship over a year prior.

I don't want to believe the worst case scenario. It's heartbreaking. So I'm willing.. or want to believe anything that I can convince myself is possible. Anything other than what might be heartbreaking truth.

Months later, its clear to me that I've been sticking my head in the sand. Lots of dishonesty by omission. Lots of dishonesty via verbal gymnastics. At the end of the day, if your partner loves you, they'll see when someone if bothering you & will want to provide you peace of mind IF thats a possibility. I did that for her countless times.

Always ask yourself if your trying to hurdle obstacles that you wouldn't place in front of your partner if they were in the same position. Usually the most simple explanation is the correct one. Keep an open, honest, free line of communication.. the moment you realize that doesn't exist.. address it. If nothing changes. You may need to accept some unhappy realities.

Now my situation has to be an unusual one. At least it has been in my 33 years of life. I don't think most people have the heart or conscience to be able to treat a loved-one this way. Don't allow yourself to become willfully ignorant of obvious red flags to spare your feelings. Good luck.

[allwood]

She might have just updated her privacy settings on Facebook, maybe she had a problem on her account lately, or she has just changed her settings to organise her profile better.

[DarkxAngel20]

Okay. Sorry to think this way bro. I'm always over thinking when it comes to girls...

[allwood]

No need to apologise, I know exactly what you're thinking, just relax. These stories that are going through your head right now, are just that, stories, they aren't real, just a figment of your imagination.

[DarkxAngel20]

Thanks bro! Especially when I've never been in a relationship before, and I'm 23 this year... I thought it might've been a stupid question at first...

[allwood]

Well get yourself out there more, ask women out on dates, even if the first few say no, just keep going. Work on your social skills, your self esteem and your confidence.

[DarkxAngel20]

I'm very sure she showed signs of interest over the past two months that we spent time in the kitchen together, but I can't be sure unless I tell her how I really feel. I'm afraid of rejection and after that, we can't be friends anymore... I've invited her to come with me to a Christmas parade this coming Sunday, and she said yes. I've asked her to hang out with me once on Halloween before, so we'll see how it goes.

[allwood]

Most guys, myself included have the fear of rejection, it's something you have to say to yourself "f**k it" then just go for it. I'm not going to lie, it is hard and doesn't get any easier the older you get, I'm 33 now and still struggle.
I'll also tell you that you're right, you will lose your friendship if she says no, but at the moment it isn't a friendship, as it's based on a lie, as you have feelings which is more than what usual friends feelings are.
Bite the bullet this Sunday, ask her out on a date near the end or at the end of your 'friend date', use the word 'date' though, so she knows your intentions, yes it will be scary, but do it, if you don't you will feel worse than if you did and she said no.
She could be sitting there right now, wondering when and hoping you will soon as her out.

[DarkxAngel20]

I don't wanna lose her as a friend... It's such a huge risk...

[allwood]

Of course you don't, but you also don't want to be just friends with her either. Ask yourself this, which would be worse, never telling her how you really feel, staying friends, letting it eat you up inside, thinking 'what if' for the rest of your life, then watching her date other guys, possibly watching her get married etc, or taking a chance, her saying no and after a while you moving on, because even though it will hurt, a lot, if she says no, you will get over it.
Be honest with yourself when asking that question.
Another thing, what if she says yes, you two fall in love and you spend the rest of your life with the perfect woman for you? Are you going to risk all that because you were too scared to lose her as a friend?

[DarkxAngel20]

You're right bro. I can imagine myself getting really jealous seeing her date other guys and move on from me if I never told her...

[allwood]

Well if you don't ask her, then she is more than likely going to date other guys. Even if she is interested in you, by not asking her, she might think you just want to be friends and soon she will move on. Take a chance my friend.

[DarkxAngel20]

Alright then! Wish me luck!

[allwood]

good luck mate, let me know how it goes.

[DarkxAngel20]

It went pretty well! I've actually decided to take time with her before telling her instead of rushing things. I wanna go out with her a few more times before I tell her.

[allwood]

fair enough mate, good luck.

[DarkxAngel20]

Thanks bro!

[JessicaRuthless]

Privacy or maybe you're creeping her friends list?
But I wouldn't worry about it. Don't read into it.
Secondly ask her on a date.. not a hang out, an actual date.
If she's interested she'll say yes.

[DarkxAngel20]

I'm too scared to tell her...

[DarkxAngel20]

Thanks for your help!

[DarkxAngel20]

You were right! Her hiding her Facebook friends list had nothing to do with me! I was overthinking again.

[Anonymous]

Privacy.. nothing to do with you... unless perhaps there's a reason why you would think that?

[DarkxAngel20]

I guess you're right... It's not like I said anything to offend her.

[SnowHearth]

Privacy, I think.

[DarkxAngel20]

So, it's nothing personal?