Why is it so hard to please women?

[Anonymous]

Honestly as a girl, all you do is look hot and I guarentee guys will date you. I have seen girls will the personality of a cucumber get guys because they are good looking. Of course in a long term relationship the girl will have to display more characteristics then "being hot", but to start off, in the casual dating scene thats all they need to do and guys will approach them. Meanwhile to please women a guy needs to do so much. He needs to have confidence, because if he doesn't have confidence (even if that lack of confidence is linked to women rejecting him), he isn't going anywhere, if the guy isn't good looking then there is still a chance, but his chances are diminished (tons of girls, just about every one in the world claims personality over looks, but subconsciously women are more likely to say yes, and react positively to an attractive guy verses a not so good looking guy.), which brings me to my next point in that women require a guy to have some "ideal personality". As I said basically every woman I talk to is the same, they all say they want a guy with a good personality, whatever that means, obviously if you are a guy without a "good personality" then you are out of luck, and its super hard to change that facet of you because you have no idea what a good personality is to start with. Then of course the women require the man to make all the risks, to go out of his way to hit on her, ask her out, etc etc, which is demanding of the man's confidence, as well as his motivation, if he keeps getting shut down he isn't going to want to keep asking women out. Then the guy has to pay for the date, he has to pick where the date is going to be, he has to do most of the talking because he was the one that asked out so he has to prove to the girl why she should date him. There are more but I'm running out of space, I just want to know why women are so demanding of men. We all aren't good looking, confident, charming, hollywood movie stars like you see on TV.

Updates:

[Adraido]

I totally get what you're saying. It's still the same and it's something that's just out of your control. Since 2008 I've had no friends that are girls, no girlfriends and I've noticed the minorities really lose out in this situation. Where you're looking also matters. In the suburbs, you've got things working for you just because you're white and looks play into it as well. Really, the only thing you can do is keep trying. Also about mixed signals and indicators of interests. Stop. Unless you like those types of girls. Just look for girls who will be direct with you. Stop supplicating and checking all those indicators or signals. It's futile. There's no need to go out of your way and look for those things. You could either put yourself out there or you could choose to network and see whether you could find people you'd like to date through your friends.

Dating is a lot of luck, especially for a man, it is upsetting, however, it could be worth to find someone you really like. You just have to wade through a lot of seaweed and I mean a lot. Sometimes you also have to take a break from it all and just let yourself relax. Some people like to build income that might attract more girls just because they look at that.

You're right, though. You're wise for 17 year old and it'll certainly help you but at least you know until we get an ERA out there or things settle down in these awful, awful social dynamics, the cards are stacked in credibly against males. Especially when you're 14-29 and looking for girls around your age.

[Levin]

I do actually agree with your analysis, despite the 'bitter male' connotations that will therefore be ascribed to me.

Where I differ from most people who posit this argument, is that I don't blame the woman for this. I blame men and society, both for overvaluing young women, and for not being particularly interested in anything but superficiality and looks anyway. It's simple supply and demand. Men will pander to get a 'hot' woman, at the expense of other qualities, therefore, women, having a huge supply of idiots, can basically treat these men as they wish and make ridiculous demands. It is natural. If one is used to getting attention, one thinks one will always have it, and fails to appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Guysvactually have a wider berth to be attractive. Girls are either good looking or not. And many guys are primarily attracted to a certain type or traits (petite brunettes, big busted redheads, etc) so some objectively attractive girls just won't do it for the guy they like, even if he totally gets along with her.

Guys don't need to be the best in every category to find someone. It's a balance. If a guy isn't great in one area, he can make up for it in another, so to speak.

However... All this is moot. Most girls or guys aren't top tier, so average people meet and fall in love all the time. A lot of times, what people are really looking for is security that they'll never be hurt or disappointed again and that simply doesn't exist. Even pro athletes, millionaires, movie stars... Get their hearts broken sometimes.

[Bri_Elena]

I don't know where you are getting your information from but here is why women look for those qualities.
#1. Babies, babies, babies. Good facial features mean good genetics and genetics are important to women as if we get pregnant we visualize what our baby will look like.
#2. Good personality because seriously who wants to be with a dick of a person all the time.
#3. Have financial stability or a career. Nothing is sexier in a man than having your own place and money to support yourself.
#4. The dates are not all on the man. I split 50/50 with my dates so honestly it depends on the woman. We are nervous as hell on dates because we want the man to like us and also we don't want anything to go wrong.

[Anonymous]

well I agree with you. completely but if some of these women are so demanding towards men they need to fit w. e stereotype that the guy believes. I would consider myself as a feminist trainee however, im a shy girl so sometimes yes I do want to approach me however im super shy sometimes, but i hope he does because I won't. People are all different I like to pay sometimes too I want to take my man out on a date, but I don't know there are just girls out there who are closed minded and haven't gotten out into the real world in dating just yet, and meeting different people I feel like when they broaden their horizons they will tend to get a clear view of yes the world is not just black and white!

[fauchelevent]

That seems less about how shallow women are and more about how low guys' standards are. Besides, not everything you say can be generalised to everyone.

[Tarvold]

You're mixing a bunch of issues together here. There's the problem of attracting women, and then there's the problem on pleasing women.

Attracting women isn't easy. The only meaningful advice I can give you right now is to never listen to any dating advice from women at all. In fact, if you do the exact opposite of what they tell you, you'd probably have better success. Also, don't buy into the BS of romcoms. None of that shit works. Attracting women without good looks or lots of money isn't impossible. It's actually quite easy once you know how. However, the only way to learn is to find a guy who truly knows how and have him mentor you. It won't be easy.

As for pleasing women, well, it's simultaneously an impossible task and a ridiculously easy one. The truth is this - if you are exceptionally good in bed... like top 0.5% of all guys in the world good, then you can do no wrong, and get away with murder. A well fucked woman will be easily pleased. HOWEVER. If you are not in that top 0.5%... even if you are in the top 90% good, then she'll always want more from you. More time... more money... more attention... more ways to one up her friend's bfs/husbands... more...

Unfortunately this is just how the world works. Good luck.

[Phoenix1991]

It's the type of girls you're chasing after.

A lot of men and women get wrapped up in the models, actors/actresses in the media or on Tv. they are usually immature and should be avoided at all costs.

Good looks are helpful but not the key to keeping a woman. The right girl needs simple essentials such as happiness, security, respect, support and kindness. They're going to be plenty of women who want a guy who can treat her respectfully, cherish moments of spending time together, funny unique memories, supportive to her goals, kindness and compassion towards her and others.

Women want these things or maybe less, don't be ashamed of yourself. Be proud of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Every opinion & the take is all wrong.. 1st all of this is a powerful illusion... these girls posting their opinions are just trying to mess with your minds... if a girl asks for that much just don't pay attention to them... Look all you need to do is let things flow be yourself and when you go out don't make it a thing where your searching for a date... Just simply get new friends as in girls from your friends think about it be creative... You know... Do you drink go to parties have a fun life... You'll meet people and it goes from their... Loosin up... It's not that serious... And about serious dating that takes time... Relax man

[9mfeo]

Is it actually hard to please women, or are you just a poor listener? Most adults are able to articulate their wants and needs in a relationship. You just have to be open to listening to it.

And like, was there a point to that rant or do you just want sympathy?

[Anonymous]

The problem isn't with women, the problem is men have stupidly low standards and will chase women not worth persuing, so that even low-value females have a stupid amount of options.

If you were getting hit on by a dozen different girls daily, you'd be fucking picky too.

[aficionado]

I think every single point you make here is true. As an unattractive man with low self esteem, I know what it feels like!

P, S. You might consider not writing a 'wall of text' next time, because it gets a bit hard to read!

[Prof_Don]

Getting women is all about stimulating emotions... but every woman "ticks" differently as in what emotionally stimulates her.

[dwiller943]

Oh!! I must not be hot enough. Because guys never ask me out.

[Scrambledagain]

women are somewhat easy to please. It's attracting them to begin with that's friggin difficult. Attraction is the rock that men crash on.

[Sebra]

Men have the same expectations they just don't voice them as strongly

[ConsultantIsBack]

Girls Are complicated bro

[Anonymous]

it's not, you just suck in the sack

[zell0is0my0name]

thanks 4 the laugh, dude 😂

[psychomonkey]

Damn true shit