Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
an essay written by Julia Serano called “Why Nice Guys Finish Last.”
…I would argue that “nice guys” are generally read as emasculated or effeminized men in our culture. In a world where calling a man “sensitive” is viewed as a pejorative, the very act of showing respect for women often disqualifies a male from being seen as a “real man.” Isn’t that interesting and sad?
Heterosexual women always say they want to meet a nice guy who treats them with respect, but then somehow they end up dating some loser who only cares about his own needs. We’ve seen this play out in movies and in real life. Our friends have done it. We’ve done it. Our single moms have done it. One may ask, “Why do guys act that way?” but it may in fact be better to ask, “Why do women allow men to act that way?”
If your relationships finds you with a series of men who act like a**holes, you need to ask yourself why you acquaint yourself with these men long enough to call what you have a relationship. You should ask yourself why that great guy that you’ve known forever but only see as a friend hasn’t made it on your “sexually attracted to” list. Why are the rude, moody, aggressive guys so appealing? Why is your idea of a “real man” not so nice of a guy?
If the men you chose to date as women are a**holes, what do you think that nice guy who’s totally into you will think he has to do just to get you to notice him? If the only guys who seem to excite you are the ones who are emotionally unavailable and/or physically domineering, why would the sensitive, physically unthreatening guy even bother with you? What good is it to say that you want a “nice guy” when all you accept as attractive are “bad boys?”
If what we really want is a “nice guy“, then we cannot allow ourselves to continue to date and have sex with “bad boys” sends a message to the “nice guys” that in order for us to be interested in them, they have to treat us badly. And why would we want to send that message? If we keep lowering the bar on what kinds of behavior is acceptable in relationships, why would our partners have any incentive to raise it? If we let people use us; if we put ourselves in a position to be used, people will take advantage of that. But if we demand to be respectfully treated as equals, our partners will do so (and anyone who doesn’t won’t make it to a partner- status anyway).
Nice guys don’t finish last because they’re weaker. The only reason “nice guys finish last” is because we give the “bad boys” an unfair advantage. By accepting their behavior, we make it easy for them to abuse us. If that guy you’ve been obsessing about hasn’t called you for a week- forget about him! Don’t allow him to be “mysterious.” Allow yourself to see that he’s not interested and find a guy who is! If what you want is a guy who’ll call you when he says he will (a “nice guy“), why would you accept someone who does the opposite (a “bad boy“)? It’s about time that we realized that real men are nice guys.
This goes both ways to be honest. When they end up with the "a**hole narcissist" type, they will be excited for the adventure and lack of boredom and the playful mistreatment provided the individual doesn't take it too far, but the initial attraction is more difficult to pull off unless they're really good or wonderful actors. The nice guys have a head-start in the "long term relationship" field, but younger women tend to shy away from that (i'm generalizing). Unfortunately, the "Nice guys" get stale because they maintain that attitude, and most women find this boring and predictable. Women in my experience expect excitement, passion, mystery, adventure, playfulness, and not to let their boyfriend walk all over them, alas, the mystery gives way eventually, excitement ebbs, and the passion wanes ever so slightly... but it remains nonetheless. Most younger women want their "quick fix" for fun and excitement, so yes, they will go for the "Jock types" as you refer to them generally speaking, but as always, there are exceptions.
In order to fix this psychological deficiency... well, you can only fix this in yourself. You have to determine what exactly you're looking for, and not to beat around the bush with the men you're with. If you get too bored, either talk to him and have him spice it up, or find someone who is a bit more... well... "playful"
everyone says that too! but I don't think its really the girls fault...the guys just never bother to ask the girl out sometimes..and when they do..its too late or the jerk is way more fun and outgoing :(
Read this, dear link
Opinion
9Opinion
There is truth for the young girls who are attracted to these guys during the school years, what they don't realize is most of these guys cruise through school because of the athletics and they have their ways paved through school because they excel in a sport. The reality is if you said hi to the quiet guy in the hallway he's the guy who is going to study and pay attention in school and actually have a career and not suffer a sports ending injury at the age of 21 and have no source of income or valid education because he may have the piece of paper but he certainly doesn't have the knowledge to back it up. My advice is avoid the jocks they usually end up being d***s in the long run and only want to protect their identity for the "school image"
Theres truth to it but not entirely.
Women want a good guy but they can't choose who they get attracted to, the jerks get women attracted to them because they have attributes that make them attractive, women also like changing guys they date for some reason, being able to change a jerk into a good guy is what women that date jerks try to do so they can have the attractive qualitys in a good guy.
Alternatively, jerks can be jerks towards anyone, if they aren't being jerks towards them it'll make the girl feel extra special because he's showing his soft exterior only to them.
Shouldn't this question be directed at your fellow females if you want some sort of a general indication of preference?
From my experiences in life, it seems that the girls who are attracted to the jock variety do so because its a rather instant reward thing - guys who are attractive enough to warrant a one night stand, etc.
The girls who go for the other more refined and nice variety are perhaps seeking commitment and a more longer term relationship. This is not to say that the jock variety cannot fill this role too, I personally think that it is more likely that the latter is more interested in short term flings.
I don't know... I guess you can call me one of those sweet sensitive jocks. I can't say if I get a girl because I'm a "jock", by the way I really hate that word. Mainly because of the stereotype connected to jocks. Or if I get the girl because I am sweet and sensitive. Just like when it comes to guys liking girls, girls like guys who are athletic, and playing sports shows their athleticism. In high school I was on the football, tennis, and basbeall teams. And I dated one of the cheerleaders. And one day, my girlfriend at the time said there is no way I could ever be better than a girl at cheerleading. So she had me do a few stunts. Not only was she impressed, but so where all the other cheerleaders around her when I showed my raw athletic ability to perform. I think she felt a bit embarrassed by this because she just got shown up, but at the same time, from that point on it felt like she all of a sudden became even more attracted to me.
Its ALL CHEMICALS. Simply put the Jocks are being MEN. They workout, they play sports. their bodys are releasing chemicals because of this. It dosnt matter if they are jerks, completly retarded and simply put a**holes.
The Nerds,goths and whatever loser crowd is differant. The popular woman complain how all men are jerks and bad. these guys hear these complaints and tell themselves they won't be the overly buff jerks that these woman don't like. They arnt as active, their bodies are producing less chemicals and they arnt in the top dog shape.
And the Vice versa goes for those younger maturing woman. their bodies are releasing chemicals as well. but due to them being in the higher circles of Highschool culture they are around the Jocks. exposed to them more so then the nerds and whatever else.
Simply put guys you want a woman. work out, take care of your bodies and just be a Guy! be active. take a bath and take care of your looks.
It can't really be fixed. all of those poor nerds and overly nice guys just sabotage themselves by trying to bribe the attractive women with nice words and complements. I am not mean to women but I don't take crap from one(being a bitch) and I don't expect women to put up with my crap. luckily this philosophy works for me and everybody is happy. the key to success is being genuine, and that is what "nice" guys are not.
I play sports, Basketball, Football..Etc whatever has a Ball But I'm also shy and quite most of the time..So I think Girls like men who seek attention from the Girls..
I am a competitive jujitsu stylist, yet I have very sensitive feelings. I don't think this is true, due to who I am and etc... I suggest to know a person deep down inside them then make a attempt to go for them. Also, look at their presentation, if they are being honest first. I tend to act street like in real life a lot, but that is to really cover my sensitive, emontional feelings that I possess and I know that is unchangeable.
to the original poster of this question you need to update your question
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions