Do guys find modest, virgin girls attractive?

[Rose191217]

I've been getting a lot of mixed answers from some of my girl friends, but I'm curious to know what guys think.

Personally, I deal a lot with this question (yes I'm a virgin. It's a Christian thing) about this topic and I really don't know.

Virgin girl?

Experienced girl?

[ak667]

I don't factor virginity into a girl's attractiveness.

That said, I tended to lean towards "experienced" as a more "comfortable" choice, but not for reasons that relate whatsoever to sexual experience or attractiveness. The reason is that I'm not her first. That reduces the responsibility. If we date and sleep together, chances are that she won't fall in love with me at some ridiculously fast pace that outpaces my own, since I'm not her first. If we break up, chances are that she'll get over it without being completely devastated, since I'm not her first.

With virgin girls, there's definitely the charm of being a "first", but so too is there a responsibility for any conscientious guy. And I generally wasn't ready to handle that responsibility, because I liked to date and sleep around a lot back when I was single, and wasn't very picky about who I dated or slept with. But I was extremely picky about who I would commit towards. So the last thing I want to be doing is sleeping with some virgin, taking that away from her, and then realizing I have no interest in committing to her.

[ak667]

Exception might have been if some virgin girl managed to strongly convinced me that she would be okay if we slept together and nothing serious came of it. I'd still be a little bit suspicious though. Just in general I had a feeling that a virgin's heart is more delicate. She's never been heartbroken, and if she values her virginity at all, then taking that away from her is a permanent life-changing experience, and I generally didn't want such a huge responsibility.

[Rose191217]

That's fair. I would have to agree with that assessment

[ak667]

I was the opposite of the "sex before marriage" type, however, and if I was a teenager and a virgin myself, I wouldn't have minded back then. My heart was purer then (I wanted to marry my very first girlfriend), so probably it would have been a bonus if my first was a virgin, just as I was, and back then I'd probably be totally happy with the idea of abstaining before marriage.

That didn't work out though, and I became considerably more "corrupt" afterwards (though I never lied to get a girl into the bedroom, but sometimes they developed attachments anyways). And I still want to see a virgin as someone not corrupted yet, with a fragile heart, and I think her first time should be with someone special who already really cares about her.

I came to a point where I couldn't even grow that attached to a girl until we slept together, so that created a catch-22 situation in my case.

[Rose191217]

Hmmmm... interesting. I think that that is a good look on it. I just made a personal decision to abstain till marriage, because I want my virginity to be a gift to the man I decided that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But it's not for everyone and I understand that as well.

[ak667]

From what I've researched the happiest marriages are often reported that way (abstaining before marriage). It's just a difficult lifestyle I think these days to maintain since the culture is so sexual now with hook-ups and such that it's probably challenging to find enough people who feel the same way to find a partner who has that in common.

I also found my angle to attracting women on dates was seduction (kissing, touching, laying my hands on them, etc), connecting physical advances to reflect any mental/emotional connection we were developing. That often became sexual extremely fast, and so I often made my way to the bedroom rather early in the dating process. But it kind of became my whole angle to dating, since I never found one more successful that could keep the girls, at least the ones I dated, interested in continuing to have dates over and over and working up to something more serious.

[ak667]

I did eventually get married at around 30. With my wife though, I ended winning her over by jamming an emergency stop button on an elevator and grabbing her close and kissing her, only for elevator to resume and go up and down from top floor to bottom floor as we jammed the buttons and shut the doors. That escalated to sex real quickly, and we ended up sleeping together on the first date. And that's always been kind of my whole strategy; only one that ever worked for me, was to get physical, get sexual. So I've lost sight of any other way to date and develop a romance absent sex. :-D I'm living in a completely different world at this point.

[Rose191217]

I've also seen that study. And yes, I agree with you again. In this day and age, I know that it's hard not to have sex and that most dates go sexual very quickly. I'm still in the stage of wanting to be friends with guys before any "dating" occurs. I don't want the added stress of "boyfriend/girlfriend" stasis. I know that waiting is really, really hard to do, because my parents tried to do the same thing, but then shortly after they got engaged, they found out about me. My mom always tells me that she doesn't regret having me, but she does regret not waiting

[ak667]

Hope you find a great guy. :-)

[Rose191217]

Thank you. And thanks for your opinion:-)

[Buckzor]

Depends - The less experienced a guy, they're more likely to be attracted to a virgin/inexperienced girl. (Obviously there's outliers where they also want experienced women).

I feel the more experienced he guy, the more likely he is to want an experienced woman (Again, there's outliers, some guys get something from taking a girls v's, or being the first in her or whatever).

Just my opinion, can't speak for anyone else.

[SammyGurl]

Good for you! Live what you believe and don't care what others do or say. Ultimately it's your life you are the one who is responsible for you and you alone, not them. I have lots of Christian girlfriends who are as committed to purity and keeping their virginity for the guy they'll marry or who gave themselves to him on their wedding night. Sure it's ancient thinking, it won't get you pregnant either, if those are your convictions then take your stand and you will be granted the strength you need to make it!
I became a Christian at 17, I'd say I've got about 17 years of unlearning to do, things just don't change overnight!! My husband and I wanted to wait until after the wedding, I'm the one who couldn't make it to the finish line, he was willing to wait! We made it until after we were engaged and sure we were getting married. Now, I wish we would have waited, I can't change the past so we just go on and live forgiven!

[TheLoveExpert]

Personally, I think it matters on the guy your going for. If he's a bad boy type, generally they like em' salted. Though, most boys prefer girls who are cute and innocent. Nice job keeping it. Also, some bad boys actually like being entertained by innocence. Hope this helps~~

[kaewk]

It’s a Muslim thing too.
From my experience, most of the guys who are appalled by me waiting until marriage are the ones who obviously just wanna unbutton my American Eagle jeans. I think when actually looking for a marriage partner, men will favor us more.

[Kaytiee]

Virginity is the fake concept of innocence, Just because you are a virgin does not mean you're pure or better than girls who aren't a Virgin.

My friend says having sex with a virgin is a lot of trouble and is too painful and awkward for the girl and him, as sex should be something where you're both comfortable and enjoying it.

[kakaloo]

Don't care how many other guys a girl have sleep with (or not slept with). It's her personality and looks that makes her attractive.

[Anonymous]

Just stay within your comfort zone. You don't have to justify yourself to anyone. In an age where girls are making some really bad decisions you stand out as a thoughtful and intelligent young woman.

[thadobhai]

I want Virgin because i am also Virgin.
If i was not virgin than it doesn't matter.

[VirginDefiler]

I find all virgin girls attractive. Hit me up when you turn 18.

[markscott]

I'd find a modest, virgin girl, very attractive.

[Anpu23]

I prefer experience. But that's just me.

[Desconhecida]

Only until they fudge them

[JellyDonutguy96]

my zodiac
is the virgin maiden
so eh whynot

[Nandor]

Attractive girls are attractive

[jessture]

At my age no

[Anonymous]

Virgin life partner
Not with everyone