I’m 21 and I never feel in love with someone. Right now my boyfriend broke up with me, because he noticed that I don’t have feelings for him, but I only used him to fuck without catching an std. I fuck with boys and girls, but I see romance to be very shitty. Despite that, I’m not unfaithful, because I don’t break promises witch mean I don’t cheat, but when my boyfriend broke up with me, he told me that he was tired of only getting my attention when we are having sex. Even a handsome guy flirted with me, but I only saw him like a sex object. The worst is that even some guys fall in love with me, but I can’t return their feelings since I don’t even understand the concept of falling in love. For me relationships, are juste made to feel sexual pleasure and nothing else. Is something wrong with me?
Does this make me a bad person, to never catch feelings for someone?
I don't think it's weird not being able to catch feelings for anyone. It took me until I was 23 to catch feelings for someone. Until then it never happened to me before, unless you count that one time when I was 12. I don't tbh. But with me I think this took me a while, because I wasn't feeling happy about myself. I was feeling very insecure and had real low self-esteem. And I was the kind of girl that closed herself off from the world. I was happy to be able to make friends and to graduate school. I wasn't ready for boys, they weren't on my mind. I also became depressed, that's when things changed for me. I started working on myself and when I did I now feel a lot happier about myself, I'm much more confident and I actually feel that I'm worth it to be loved. Once I realised that and really felt that way I'm suddenly having crushes. Lots. And some even turn out to be true feelings for someone. So don't think it's weird or that there's something wrong with you. Sometimes it's just a blockade that in the way, something you have to work out first. Maybe you could ask yourself what that blockade could be with you? Then I'm sure that in time you'll work this out for yourself and that you'll be able to fall in love ;) Sometimes it just takes a little more time, don't worry to much.
That is not just what relationships are for, they’re for companionship as well. If you don’t have feelings for anyone, including friends and family, not feeling emotions such as guilt or empathy as well, I suggest you speak to your family doctor to see a psychologist as there might be something more deeply wrong with you. Such psychopathy or deep trauma from assault/abuse as a child.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Wow, I don't think you're a bad person, but that might be bias as I am (possibly) exactly the same. I don't cheat, never have but ultimately am only in it for the sex. Never been in love or loved anyone and I am really not looking for it. I'vee even been proposed to a couple of times but that's by the way. I used to think that I was broken or something, I really feel nothing, emotionally for humans as a whole, I find attractive girls shaggable and that's just it. I do care very much for my cats, I mean if my mum or dad or whoever and cats were drowning, I'll almost certainly save them first and I wouldn't even feel bad about it, I mean death is the whole point of life isn't it? So to answer your question, no, you're alright. You're true to yourself and others, and that's what's important. Think about all those who love or claim to love and cheat continuously. You're alright and you're real, be proud
If you can't feel any emotion such as sadness, happiness, love, etc. Yes, there is something wrong with you. Not saying it makes you a bad person, but that technically makes you a sociopath, and there is medicine for that. However, if it's just love and all you can see from a partner is sexual pleasure, it still doesn't make you a bad person. If you never want to feel love, that's unnatural. As it's human nature to want to love and be loved. However, in the end, everyone finds love at some point. Whether it be at 15 or 65. And when you do, you'll understand the concept of love. Until then, for the sake of the people around you, don't use them for sex. Tell them you don't see a relationship with them, but you'd enjoy being in a friends with benefits type of relationship.
Darling i run through the same thing. I wouldn't call anyone or women sexual "objects"... but when i broke it down, sex was all that came back up. so i am all for what you are doing. I believe we should exchange ideas. In my case, i try to let Her know that i don't have feelings... i only simulate. which apparently some women need in order to have sex... it makes no sense to me. sex is just an act.. you don't need the salt and pepper... I've gotta find out what makes you disregard this shit.. and share my story.
The thing is is that you're emotionally detached so you feel that putting your emotions towards something is going to be counterproductive and that might either be something that you learn from young age do to something you saw from people you know or too much TV which can also do that there's also a personality disorder that matches what's going on with you to some extent it might also be that you might not have the chemical reaction within your brain to cause love and infatuation but for the sake of enjoyment you do have the urge for sex. If any of this makes sense I'm glad it helps in the slightest if it doesn't disregard this message I think
There is nothing wrong with you apart from being brainwashed by today's media. The TV, magazines, pop music, advertising etc. They all promote meaningless sex and suggest we all go out & behave like dogs & try and get rich and that is what life is all about. When you meet somebody lovely and actually care deeply about them, would fight for them, die for them if necessary. A person who feels the same way about you. Believe me, the sex is totally incredible. Far, far, far better than cheap meaningless lust with somebody random.
With the next person, try and talk deeper. Not just small talk. Connect with their soul. Talk about the meaning of life, how they would change the world etc. Then you might really connect & let love in to make the relationship totally awesome.
Well that might be normal. I did not like any one till I was 25 enough to ask them out.
Though it sounds more like your a narcissist. Nothing wrong with that it is just how some people are. You care more about yourself and needs than others and their feelings.
A tv show you might like is The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.
I'm very intelligent and people just seem stupid to me. Though I can empathizes often usually it is not worth the pity or the eye roll. I'm glad you keep your word girl that is important.
Maybe you haven't found the one that would make u fall in love so rather than hurting the other person be sure to make it clear about ur intentions first so they won't expect too much of u Everyone will fall in love ur time is not yet and your are just 21 dont stress
Hmmm 🤔 maybe you aren't even interested in being in a relationship with anyone. Or maybe you don't feel a connection with them.. maybe you don't find the person spiritual enough, the person doesn't have an intelligent conversation enough for you, or you feel no sexual desire for them? Some how I don't really know I'm at a lose.
Its not your fault if you can't feel. May be you are made that way. Although you can always try. Start with small things which makes you happy. Help someone who really need it. You will start feeling i believe. Till then from your side i would recommend you to make this thing clear in the beginning. That way you are respecting his emotions.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
You are emotionally unavalable which could come from the first two relationships you had in your life, that is... your mom and dad or something extremely tramatic happen when you where 6 or 7 such as abuse, molestation, or rape. Stop having sex and decide to find yourself from the inside out, not through your vagina.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Just wait u will meet 1 person who change u n ur life.. true love come once in a lifetime so when it come don't let it go I'm also 21 but I remain single Bcz in past i had 3 breakups... n same thing I done all breakup Bcz date hangout romance is not a love
You just described my life !! I’ve been in a few relationships but I was never in love with the guys. I was lonely and wanted someone to have sex with. I don’t mean to hurt people but I can’t help it > I can’t love love. Message me please 💗
Most guy would comment down #dream_girl_found You are dream of many Boys out there but you not getting emotionally attached to anyone would lead to make u a hard person u won't feel that joys of being in love. In my opinion don't get physical with anyone untill you feel u r connected and only then and only with him connect physically
I think you shouldn't ask yourself if somethings wrong with you? That would get you only down. Ask yourself if it troubles you, or if you are okay with it. Do you want the real feelings during an relationship?
If no, why bother what others might think? If you are no danger to yourself or to others then just be yourself.
If yes, what can you do to become the person you want to be? Or who can help you with that?
No there's nothing wrong with you. You're still young and I hope you find someone that will make you feel things you haven't felt before. I think you just haven't found the right guy/girl yet
Good to know that there are other people like that. I seem to never fall in love. I just don’t know how. Like I can like someone but I have never fallen in love.
I think we just need to wait and time will come when we will fall for someone.
That’s practically 80% of my conversations. I only do deep talks. I hate small talk. I wouldn’t even bother talking to someone who only has small talks with me.
You are showing signs of being apathetic. It does not make you a bad person. But one day you most likely will meet someone that you do catch feelings for. Just hasn't happened yet.
Yes some thing is wrong with you. This is why as a female you can't sleep around with multiple men. You have become a vessel filled with the essence of so many different guys. As a woman any man who has sex with you leaves a part of himself in you. So if you have been with multiple men... all those men are within your vessel mentally
If you're using guys as sex object and relationships only for sex, I think it's something wrong with you, that's not normal at least but if you're happy like this, then continue your life as you like but don't hurt others who fall in love with you
I feel the same way tho, 21 and I can't love someone up till now. People keep saying u've not met that person yet well still hoping on it 😂😂hope am not sick too
I have the exact opposite probl m e, it seemed like I fell in love with everyone. I don't think something is wrong with you though. Maybe you haven't met the right person, or maybe that's just how.
There could be something wrong with you but it doesn't make you a bad person.
What do you enjoy doing?
Do you like kissing?
Do you have any enjoyment hanging out with a bf/gf? Like joking around or laughing with them?
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
You are most likely a psychopath, not in the sense that you are insane, but on that, as the word actually means, you cannot feel emotion and attachment in the same fashion that most humans would.
You could also have an attachment disorder, possibly caused by emotional or another form of abuse.
I think you just haven't felt a deeper connection with one yet. I think if you're honest about how you feel with your boyfriends, that's the important thing.
I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with you because everyone defines love differently but it seems like you don't know the difference between it and lust. Best of luck working through it
I was fairly similar, didn't believe in love, believed sex was for pleasure and procreation. When I did eventually fall in love at age 29 it was an amazing surprise. Enjoy your youth, it will happen
Well being emotionally inert is kinda normal, but it doesn't make someone a bad person per say. People who just put up a facade just to get in bed with people are much worse in my opinion.
Well no it doesn't. You can create feelings that you simply don't have. I have fallen and been hurt by it in the past but lately I haven't had feelings for anyone.
Never lose a person who loves u badly!!! It's a big mistake. If u dont wana be in a relationship jus tell him this is me never keep deep feelings on me.. Both off u will never gave a problem or any sad endings like breakups!!!
U should decide what kind of relationship u want. For love u must have feeling. But for casual relationship it doesn't require. So don't confuse casual with love. it will be all fine. U Wil get feeling when u get some one u love
JUST BE HONEST! Really, that's it. Be honest that you just want a regular fuck partner so you can both bareback without STD risk. If that's who you are, be honest about it, and you'll be just fine.
Ok have you had like really good sex like you are bagging to stop cause you can't orgasm any more. Do you have a high sex drive caz i think the guy that can give you that is the guy that will catch your eye
No ur alright... u have no fear of life so ur not get no feelings... once u cross 27 and ur frnds will be married and will get all the emotions in the world... if required think of it now and u'll b afraid
Maybe you just haven't found the right person, or maybe you have sociopathic tendencies, either way figure out what makes you happy and do that, unless it hurts someone else.
You could be in a relationship for 3 years and feel nothing or be in a relationship for 3months and feel everything its all about the people and how they feel so nothing is wrong with you
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
you remind me a lot of myself you're selfish, use others, can't feel intamacy or empathy (that would depend on the individual)
Don't believe something is wrong with you, some people have a hard time actually opening up your feelings for people including myself. You gotta be self aware
A little but it's only a problem if you think it is. Use people and be done with em not lead em on like your ex. I hope your find some affection in your self
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I would say lucky you I catch feeling really fast and it messes up my life
No. It's better that way. Don't get your feelings involved. The other person is usually fickle minded. Why trust your heart with someone that doesn't even know themselves and can potentially break it.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Well you need someone who can really make you feel and he will come sonner or later. Romance is shitty for youngsters like you, actually romance can be art and makes sex only better.
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