She ignores me avoids me but always stares at me, never smiles and then approached me but just stood and stared at me does she want me to talk to her?

[sandy343244]

Me and this woman both were attracted to each other two months ago then i mentioned i had a g/f & she avoided me i tried to talk to her for us being friends (even though we both never wanted that) and it escalated to the point of her saying very clearly she did not want to have anything to do with me socially or as "friends". It created a major issue at work so i kept my distance zero contact.

A few weeks go by and we have not talked, she avoids me but will stare at me directly in the eyes for long periods of time when we pass each other at work, glance at me or she will pretend to hide behind her long hair or a person and stare at me. She never smiles while she stares at me.

We very blatantly stare at each in the eyes directly when passing each other. I still have a crush on her and i am single now.

I started to move on from her and last Monday i was at work signing into reception for a pass i notice her come up and stand next to me and stare at me, from my right. I did not acknowledge her due to the previous incident as i was worried about my job and quite confused. I heard her give a little yelp (she does that when surprised) as i think she noticed the reception lady realised she was just standing there staring at me and not saying a word. She then left and I saw her later on in the day and she had a slight disappointed/confused look on her face.

- She will go offline on the work IM so i never see her online
- She puts entries into our department calendar she never has her name on it so i don't know its her

I was going to send her the below message via IM as we are never alone & she does not know i am single now.

"Hi the day before i went on vacation i think you wanted to speak to me in reception when i was signing in but i was in my own little world (broke up with XXXX) and i really was not paying attention to much that day, i was not ignoring you. How have you been?"

Updates

+1 y

I can't tell if she is super shy or just not interested anymore. She seems to avoid me to an extreme level & i have kept my distance and not continued to converse with her & shown her no interest. I stare at her as she stares at me. if i ignore her and don't stare at her she stares even more at me like saying "hey i am staring at you idiot" or trying to check if i am looking at her.

Does she want me to approach her & was this her attempt to give me a chance to talk to her?

[whitehide]

The way you describe her silent stare, she seems a bit predatory.
I'm kidding, this seems like a "I don't want to want you" situation. You should talk to her about it.

[sandy343244]

Originally before she knew i had a g/f she was very into me and smiling and happy, but once i mentioned i had a g/f that is when these blank stares happened.

Is it likely she wants me but does not want me as she thinks i still have a g/f (which i don't)?

Regarding talking to her we are always around work colleagues and she won't be alone with me, what about sending her the IM, is that ok?

[whitehide]

So she doesn't know that you're single?

[sandy343244]

She does not know i came out of my last relationship about three weeks ago. I am on vacation and not back to work till the 25th. She approached me on the 4th of March a day before i went away. We don't speak at all and we are never alone so unless i message her or pass a message through one of her friends she will never know.

Since she won't be alone with me to talk as she thinks i have a g/f i was thinking of sending her this message below so she knows i am single and that i want to talk to her, she knows i still have a crush on her.

"Hi the day before i went on vacation i think you wanted to speak to me in reception when i was signing in but i was in my own little world (broke up with XXXX) and i really was not paying attention to much that day, i was not ignoring you. How have you been?"

[whitehide]

Sure. Go for it!

[sandy343244]

What i am uncertain of is after all of what has happened if i tell her i am single will she want to be with me. I am just uncertain if her avoiding me is as she fancies me and knows she can't be with me (as she thinks i have a g/f) or she is over me and is trying to say "get lost i am not interested anymore".

I thought she was not interested until she approached me on Monday as she was quite clear in telling me to stay away. Am i right to think she is still interested in a romantic sense and not friends?

[whitehide]

She's definetly interested, otherwise she wouldn't have stared at you like that, unless she's plotting to kill you. But you need to figure out with her, if she's only interested in being friends, or in a romatic sense

[sandy343244]

What is the likelyhood of her wanting something romantic?

Previously before i mentioned having a g/f she mentioned what she wanted i, e, marriage, kids, made it clear she had none and was trying to feel me out as to what i wanted from her and the future i. e. the same as her. So i think she wants something romantic like me.

Its just if she just saw me as a friend surely she would not avoid me to such a degree when i am not attempting to talk to her? I know if i kept hitting on a woman and not taking a hint she would do with this woman is doing but to avoid me to such a degree when i have not been contacting her seems odd.

Do you reckon romantic interest here?

[whitehide]

You're probably right on that one

[sandy343244]

@whitehide why do you think she is now trying to talk to me after so long of making it clear to stay away from her?

[sandy343244]

I did speak to her and she told me "I don't want to speak to you" I didn't person but I didn't get to mention about the g/f situation but she looked nervous and I think a tad bad about her reaction but it's fine. I think she just does not want to fancy me as I am taken. I know the feeling of having a strong crush on someone you can't have and it's a killer!