My girlfriend is acting rude and disrespectful for almost everything. What can I do?

Question

So i am in a relationship with a girl for amost 2 years.
In a last few months she is getting mad so quickly for minor things.
For example:We decided to meet at Monday and i didn't feel good at Sunday. She didn't even believe me that i feel sick and she started to be disrespectfull... that i am overreacting, that i am a mommys little boy, that she will break up with me, that i will never find anyone and she will find thousands... telling all kind of vulgar words, even talking disrespectful about my parents she blocked me on all social media, she even said that she wants me to die. next morning she texts me... if i will go pick up her shoes in a city. (like nothing happened last night) and also she didn't care at all that i feel sick.
I said no and she got mad again. She acted vulgar, she deleted me on social media and said... its over.
after 2 days i ordered shoes on her adress. And what happened. She texted me:why did u send me shoes? And she wanted to apologise...
after 2 days i gave her another chance. She promised that she won't be saying its over/blocking and beeing so vulgar.
But what happened:
After one week we were on a sofa. I somehow moved her leg and her ripped jeans were torn.
She got crazy. Like i did it on purpose. She threw my things over apartment, and left...
next day she texted... its over... that i did that on a purpose, that i am the worse person ever,... millions of vulgar words,. that she never even felt so much, that she was also not interested to have sex recently because she didn't have feeling that i love her,... that i am borring, not funny, she was vulgar about my parents again. She said she will destroy my things, my car...
Otherwise she is very serious, loyal and interesed to spend time with me.
I really love her a lot and i would do anything for her.
Is there anything that can fix that?

Searlas · Accepted Answer

I would suggest to let go, breakup like everybody else suggests but what if you are part of the problem? Also, the last part caught my attention, "you love her and you can do anything for her". I understand how it feels when you are in love, and you are willing to give it another shot, so I will not suggest a breakup for know but its good to be prepared if this doesn't work. (That is, if she is severely damaged emotionally by what has been happening in this relationship)

ALWAYS REMEMBER.

When people are in high state of anger and anxiety, they say bad things they wouldn't have said.

NOW.

As a guy, it is very important that you understand what is making your girl mad and learn how to prevent it since anger and anxiety will cloud both of your judgment, and will lead to more anger, misunderstanding, miscommunication, and even the end of this relationship.

MY DIAGNOSIS

There small things that have been happening in your relationship, arguments on things she considers an issue but to you they aren't, you have been overriding her perspective or reasoning, this is how anger has build-up in her and you have to be more accommodative to her reasoning to lower and finally end this anger buildup. We all get into a high-anger state from time to time, but some of us are unable to bring it back down or deal with it.

WHAT TO DO:

Your girl seem to love you, that is why despite all the drama, she hasn't bounced for real. She's just just in the middle of the some storm, angry, anxious and confused.

1) Listen to her more, understand things in her perspective. The 'minor' things you are talking about are minor to you, not her. That's is why this relationship is going down. When you ripped her jeans, apologize genuinely, don't just make it look irreverent.

2) She needs assurance you love her, she needs your attention, she seem to be fighting for your your attention with your mum, (thats is why she is calling you mummy boy) and family. You have to understand women in relationships, when they are in your life, they come first, not after your family or friends or hobbies or career. So, you need to balance all, for example, when you have a family dinner, invite her along, and when she is together with your family, be with her, show her she comes first. The anger and arguments is also killing your romance.

3) Communicate, not just tell her, make her understand you regret what has been happening, tell her you love her, you are human and not perfect, and you want things to change, learn to say sorry, ask her to say sorry when she is in the wrong, don't always justify yourself even if she's the one in the wrong. In most cases, people never say sorry but try to justify building competitive arguments.

4) Never go to bed angry, never let her go to bed angry. Communicate, apologize, make love to her crazy. (Make up sex)

Good luck.

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

We teach people how to treat us.
You have the power to walk away. Every time she is disrespectful that is an opportunity for you to teach her you will not be around someone who belittles you and disrespects.

Whatever you are speaking about at the time... that should immediately become a back issue and you should immediately call out the disrespectful comment, act, look, remark, whatever it is and tell her that was incredibly rude and disrespectful and then tell her I won't be with someone who is so belittling and disrespectful of me and then walk away.

Ball is in her court. If she realizes how she was being and seeks you and apologizes and tells you she didn't realize how disrespectful she had gotten towards you then you can decide if you want to give her another chance and then proceed with caution.

If she doubles down and belittles you or acts offended you called out her misbehavior then just end the relationship.

It all boils down to you calling it out immediately and every time she does it and being willing to break up over her disrespect. If you stay, if you argue over it, if you ignore it... it will just continue.

You are teaching her she can do it and you won't do anything about it and then there are no relationship consequences.

It is 100% up to you and you need to be ready to end things with her if she keeps doing this.

adriheart7 · Accepted Answer

Not gonna lie, I’ve been acting like your girlfriend lately to my boyfriend. But definitely not as toxic. Recently my boyfriend went on vacation and I was mad that he hardly texted or called me. Sure I knew that he was spending time with his family and having a good time with them, but I just couldn’t help but get pissed off and lash out at him. I knew I was wrong, but I cursed him out and was started asking him why he wasn’t texting me and if he loved me or not. And then when he still didn’t respond I started threatening to break up with him just so he could feel bad, text me back, and give me attention. He told me “baby I’m just spending time with my family, I’m sorry haven’t been texting you back” and he just started taking the blame for it, when I’m reality he didn’t do anything wrong, he was just enjoying quality time with his family and I was the one to blame. I think it’s mostly to do with jealousy and wanting constant attention from your boyfriend. at least that’s how it is for me. I’ve been really toxic to him, everytime he’s busy I guilt trip him about it and it’s just something I need to work on. But to answer your question  it must be mainly jealousy and wanting attention.

buddies · Accepted Answer

She does seem a little off her rocker... like she has some issues that aren't dealt with yet. That being said, make sure you look closely at yourself too. From what you said, you seem like a pretty good and loyal guy... however, I know many men that are good men, but won't acknowledge their own faults. It takes two to tango.
Just look carefully at the situation, both sides of it, and then ask yourself if this what you really want to deal with for another week. Another month. Another year. Be honest with yourself and her. And if you end it... make that the end. No more chances. No more relationship swings. Make your choice and stick to it. You already gave her a second chance. Never feel sorry for cutting someone out of your life. Especially if they handed you the scissors.

David_Kek · Answer

Dump her. You can't help people, you can only help people help themselves, and she clearly doesn't want to. Also, she sounds like a complete cunt, especially considering i'm pretty sure she made a post on this site about exactly that evil of ripped ripped jeans.

Seriously, she's not good for you. Try to imagine for a second that i was telling you all this and asking for your advice on what i should do with my girlfriend that i love who treats me like this? Would you honestly not be advising me to get out of that as fast as i can?

I know you love her, and loves a funny thing. I've been in a similar situation in the past of loving someone who was actually quite toxic, so i know how it feels. It's horrible and unfair, but for your own health and sanity, you need to get away and let go. It will hurt, and it might even take you years to get over it, but i promise you will get over it.
If you carry on and do what you yourself are passionate about in public, with no concern what others think, you'll find more friends. You'll make a few female friends. One of them you mutually might like spending a lot of time with, and before long neither of you will know what hit you. You'll cry about your past hurt, she'll likely cry about hers.
Few more year down the line and you'll be going through old photos, and laugh when you get to miss "cares more about jeans than her boyfriend" (actually say that out loud), because you'll remember how much you used to cry over her, now feeling not much of anything other than dead feelings for a stranger you once knew.

Seriously, dump the bitch. If she doesn't value you higher than a pair of crappy jeans, then how is she possibly good enough for you? Think about it.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s hilarious how nobody has noticed how he is such a nice guy who never does anything wrong and she is just angry and mean out of nowhere. I hope this has boosted your ego now, but it’s all fake compliments and I am sure you are aware of that.

You need to understand that in relationships you can’t just be selfish and think of yourself always but also of your partner. You don’t seem to truly love her if you are fishing for compliments on GAG, instead of thinking what you could of have done wrong. Have you ever cared to listen to her needs? From the way you talk about her it seems like you did not. Many relationships fail due to partners not being able to talk to each other.

I don’t think you should continue any relationship until you work things with yourself out. Take your time to fully understand what went wrong and what you could of done better. Try to reflect on the things she’s told you that hurt her. Only then you are able to be happy in a relationship.

If after that you will still be interested in each other, try to talk your and her expectations out and work on being happy together. Relationship is a hard time work between partners. It’s up to them to make it work... and of course LOVE.

We are all people, we all make mistakes. Do you know how many mistakes I’ve made in my life before I got married to this lovely guy? Many! We should not be afraid admitting our faults and rather take that as a chance to improve. We all want to become amazing partner one day. Don’t be afraid to admit it, it doesn’t make you a loser, but rather an adult person who is taking responsibility for his actions.

DreamCatchcer · Answer

Maybe its time to move on. Only you and her can decide that. Don't take advice from online communities.

That being said. Here is my OPINION, and it is just an opinion.

She may be experiencing the onset of bipolar disorder. she is at that age. I have some personal of being bipolar so you can DM me if you have any specific questions.

From what you describe it sounds like she is in the manic stage of the bipolar cycle. If see drinks alcohol or uses street drugs while being manic it could seem that she's "crazy" as you put it.

She's not crazy. She might just be suffering the effects of being bipolar. I am not a doctor so I cannot diagnose her. I form my opinion based on what you told me. I WOULD suggest getting checked out. The bipolar cycle of ups and downs can be cotrol. It up to her to decide a course of action.

Let me give you a huge caution. I think you should talk to her as gently as possible. No one wants to hear they may have a mental health issue. If she is in the state you describe it could turn observed about bipolar disorder. o a nasty conversation.

Like I said. DM me if you have any questions. I can at least describe what I have learn and obs

Anonymous · Answer

I’ve been going through some posts on here.
Interesting thing is that you guys always stick with the OG and trash the other one.

I know it’s none of my business but I think it’s not fair to judge a one sided relationship issues. It’s important to hear BOTH stories as it makes a difference.

The OG will often not be fair to themselves and just present the situation to us from their view, how they are being negatively affected by such an action but not how they are being negative to another?

I just want you guys and girls to open your eyes. It’s important to know both sides to be able to judge as it can appear as a totally different thing and it won’t ever solve the issue they have.

Let me remind you that there is a possibility of them being the problem, as much as the one they are blacking about so just smoothing them out and not being realistic is worse than no advice at all.

Hope you can keep that in mind the next time you answer a post.

Have a great day and stay safe.

Anonymous · Answer

There is a reason almost for everything. Either you are the problem or she is.

I see many users bashed about a woman they don’t even know, but I am here to do the right thing.

I’m going to look at it from the right perspective. If she is like that, it must be something you are doing wrong. And if you think you are flawless then there is no reason to continue this. It will be better for both of you.

We don’t know the whole story so it’s hard to judge anything based on just one side of a story, but from my experience I know there is always a reason. We can’t figure it out but you are the one who can.

I’ve been using GAG for years and I must say that most of users usually stick with the OG and tell them to leave the other person. I’m guessing that is why they are single. 🤷🏻

Be a man, think of it. You don’t need anyone to help you with a decision because you are the only one experiencing it and know it best.

Best regards.

bobalife · Answer

I only read half of this, and from experience my best advice is... run! Lol. We all may really love someone, but it doesn’t mean they are the best person for us unfortunately. She is showing signs of an intense toxic relationship. Whatever you do won’t please her 100%. I’ve been there.. and all you really gain is hurt long-term :/ The longer you stay, the harder it is to get out, & the longer it’s going to affect you. I hope you make the right decision for yourself and your safety. She’s going to be an emotionally abusive girlfriend long-term, I’m sorry to tell you that :/ It’s also the hardest type of abused to be recognized in my opinion.

yucychan · Answer

Your girlfriend won't change. Because firstly, she knows she can get away with the things she does as you will always accept her and go back to her, no matter what.
So why should she change? You won't even stand up for yourself, so why should she care about your pride and what you want.
For me, I will not stand for my parents being insulted. There will not be a relationship anymore. If you are fine with your parents and yourself being insulted on by your girlfriend, then by all means, go ahead. You don't seem to set any limits for yourself.

1Sophisticatedme · Answer

Yes. Ask her if she is pregnant, ask her if she is stressed about something, ask her what can you do to help her if she wants any help, ask her if she is on her period... there's many factors to consider... but bottom line is has she been through something tough and can't undo it, has she cheated on you? And sometimes its away of saying I don't want this relationship anymore. Just go slowly, and good luck. It sounds mood swings of a medical issue... but i am no medical doctor, so just relax and hope for the best for both of you.

Truthatanycost · Answer

She disrespected you and in return you acted like a simp. This makes her resent you even more, and communicates low esteem, poor boundaries, and a lack of masculine energy. If a girl (or anyone) disrespects you, call them out, and set a clear boundary. Depending on the infraction you might kick them to the curb immediately, or give them one single chance.

''I really love her a lot and i would do anything for her.''

Those are the words of a simp. She's just a female, and you've placed her on a pedestal. Now she's looking down on you. Stop simping.

The stuff that you've put up with... I wouldn't even put up with 1% of that. If any girl even dared treat me that way, she'd be ditched faster than she could blink. Stop simping!

HOAAH · Answer

She seems really sensitive and also i think she has low self esteem feelings that she doesn't love you may be in her head but she thinks it's real. Also i think she wants to love you but she is afraid you will hurt her too much so she is pushing you away to protect herself from the hurt she thinks you will eventually do to her. I do this to my husband as well but in different ways. I do try to get counseling and think why i am so afraid of my fears and are my fears real or why do i have my fears.

VanillaSalt · Answer

Shut her down do NOT let her act like a fucking child. When she acts like this walk away. If she continues ignore her calls and stay away. When your done dealing with it make it clear... I’m tired of this attitude you suddenly have it’s not acceptable. We’re breaking up... super simple.

Do not allow women to walk all over you you already have to put up with too much for that shit. Quality women don’t act like that... she’ll shape up and respect you better if you make it clear you won’t let her walk on you.

Nmalinova · Answer

Honestly, she sounds as if she's got anger management issues... and those people can be very hard to deal with! If you're not too involved just yet, I would really weigh up whether all the future problems (and there will be A LOT of heartbreak) will be worth it. These kind of people need to realise that they have issues and have to go to therapy on their own accord... then again therapy is not always successful and there will have to be a lot of patience in the relationship and a lot of forgiving and forgetting while the other half is trying to deal with their issues...

Anonymous · Answer

I agree with pretty much everyone here. Ending the relationship is probably the only real option at this point. I was in a relationship like yours a couple years back. In his eyes, I could literally do nothing right. He yelled at me for everything. These types of toxic relationships leave their scars. I'm dating a great new guy now, and I think he notices my jumpiness sometimes. Like the other day, I was navigating and I missed telling him to turn. I immediately began apologizing, and he was just like, "ok, I'll turn around." My ex would've screamed at me for not paying attention, I had ONE job, la la la.

It sounds like your girlfriend is treating you the same way. She's never happy with anything you do, and she flies off the handle with these extreme reactions over such small things. In my situation, I didn't even realize how bad it was until I got out. Now, I realize that those types of overreactions are NOT normal and it's honestly a really tough way to live.

Slime95 · Answer

Yeah, look man.. She took you for granted, and it happened because her character was stronger than yours, and over time, little by little she started doing stuff, and you let that stuff slide thinking you re nice to her, but all you did was loosing confidence, and doing exactly what she told you, so.. A girl will loose interest if you dont have your own opinions and all you do is agree with her.. Now.. Im not saying you need to be a mf.. You just need to stand your ground like a man.. And its probably too late, but if you want to try and get her back, you need to stop caring, change your mindset, dont talk to her, your best chance is that she will text you after a while, especially if she is used to you looking for her all the time

EssenceOfLight · Answer

Just pitiable.
Leave her and you be prepared that she won't make it easy for you. This entire situation will get worse over the time and she becomes more aggressive, moments where she appears cooperative and friendly become shorter. It's very likely she loves you but this love paired with her emotional imbalance will make you to her biggest enemy all the time.
Such people need to live alone, they have no real friends and they dislike every person after some time. The only way to communicate with them is cold and emotionless business oriented relation.

devilish-cutie · Answer

Sounds like she is really temperamental n easily goes from 1 to 100. Maybe she is going tru something now so her emotions are more loose. Anyhow you both should learn to properly comunicate as mature adults, if that is not possible with her, you are better off without.

MDollarBill · Answer

Get away as fast as you can. She is convinced that this kind of behavior is ok, or even justified, because in her feminist-indoctrinated mind, your job is to serve her and keep her happy. Her bitching is her way of "training" you. She knows you'd rather comply than endure it, and It will only get worse until /unless you drop every vestige of masculinity and become totally whipped.
Read this while you still have your testicles https://avoiceformen.com/featured/the-henpecked-club/

Xavi88 · Answer

Nope you are hopelessly in love with her, even though she treats you like trash... This seems liike the same type of deal as when women stay with men that beat them.
I would say to leave her, but since you have already accepted her behavior you aren't going to do that. So good luck :)

Paris13 · Answer

I have Found that during COVID TIME, Couple acts SILLY. Work Together as two birds of a Feather. Try and Get on the same Page, No Rage. Probably going Sir Crazy with this Virus and Masks and Social Distancing and Not going anywhere like before. I feel her. 
 Welcome to Gag Town and Best of Luck. xx

Pennypolish · Answer

From what you said this NEW behavior. So. Something had to change or happens that caused this. Job stressful? School harder? Tragic event? Someone cheated? You hurt her? She’s being triggered—and until you dig deeper to find out what it is, this behavior may continue. She definitely seems unhappy and insecure. If you love her. Have a real talk in person. Hold her and tell her you love her. Actions.

My girlfriend is acting rude and disrespectful for almost everything. What can I do?

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My girlfriend is acting rude and disrespectful for almost everything. What can I do?

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